In which Lord Murray, 18th Earl of Gypping, attempts to help a bank official to appropriate funds from a dead German's bank account in order to save the roof of Hemlock Hall, aided and abetted by a supporting cast of strangely familiar aristocratic characters.

Cast of characters

Lord Murray - 18th Earl of Gypping.
Dr Nkonye Akubia - allegedly an employee in a bank in the Ivory Coast.
Sir Yao Ngoran - another bank official.
Adama Sangare - a rather silent lawyer, recommended by the bank.

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Please respond

Sent: Thu, 09 Oct 2003 13:21:15

FROM THE DESK OF BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER, DR, NKONYE, BANQUE INTERNATIONALE DE ABIDJAN. ABIDJAN, REPUBLIC OF COTE D'IVOIRE.

TEL 0022505-66-37-31 ATTN,

I am the Manager of Bill and Exchange at the Foreign Remittance Department of Banque Internationale de Abidjan (BIA). I am writing following the impressive information about you through my research from your country directory. It's assured me of your capability and reliability to champion this business opportunity.

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $18.5 million (eighteen million, five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in a Concorde plane crash in the year 2000 in Paris that almost took the whole life of the passengers on board. Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my department now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill. The banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after three years, the money will be transferred into the bank treasury account as unclaimed fund.

The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and an Ivoirean cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. We agree that 30% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me. Thereafter I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated.

Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully,

Dr Nkonye (Bill and Exchange Manager)

Private line: 0022505-66-37-31

NB. My intention of writing you through email is because I believe it is very confidential.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: Regarding your most interesting email

Sent: Thu, 06 Nov 2003 10:14:36

Nkonye,

I am writing in response to the intriguing email that you sent to me a while ago. I must apologise for the lateness of my response - you must have thought I was never going to get back to you - but my laptop has been out of action for a while and I have only just managed to get it back up and running. It has taken me days to work through the mountain of emails that I had received.

Having considered your proposal, I am extremely interested, and feel that I am in a position to be able to help you out.

However, it seems to me that to carry out what you suggest would be sailing rather close to the wind of the law, if you get my drift. Can you absolutely assure me that there is no risk involved in this affair? I have my reputation to consider, and it would be disastrous for me if the press got wind of the fact that I was involved in anything remotely felonious.

If you require my assistance, please email me back with further details.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: DR NKONYE (TRUST IS THE KEY)

Sent: Thu, 06 Nov 2003 12:12:48 +0000

Dear Gilbert Murray,

I have acknowledge the receipt of your mail and all the contents was well understood by me.

Firstly I want you to bear in mind that I contacted you on a good faith and in cleans spirit for us to share this mutual benefit giving to us, as I am assuring you that hence you will follow up my instructions regarding to this transaction I don't think that anything will stop this money not to get to your account since I have made all the necessary arrangement for the smooth transfer of this fund to your bank account and also you will promise to remain faithful and sincere to me as I will impose all my trust and hope on you hoping that you will not betray me if this money get to your account.

Bear in mind that TRUST is the key to achieve success in every business, so with TRUST we are going to achieve this opportunity giving to us.

As I told you in my first letter that this fund belong to our late customer who died on a plane crash with his entire family and since then nobody have come for the claim of this fund, and he was a very good friend of mine when he was alive so I have all the informations about him and this deposited money in my bank, and again since I am the insider working in the same bank you have to know that I can not claim the fund that is the most reason why I contacted you for this assistance and I don't want the bank to know about my involvement in this transaction as I will feeding you back with every information needed from the bank.

I even sponsored a trip to Germany, for verification of the late deceased family for more informations about him and his family background and every thing was successful, so feel free and have no fear on this particular transaction, I strongly believe that people do at times illegal business around the world but I am assuring you that mine is legal and 100% genuine, there is no risk involved.

Upon the receipt of your response to this mail I will send you the text of the application form, that I have arranged on your favour, which you will fill accordingly and fax it to the bank for the approval of the fund on your behalf as the next of kin/beneficiary to this fund, and as soon as you fax the application form to the bank I will send to the vital documents which I have with me that will prove you the beneficiary of the deposited fund.

These are the documents.

Death certificate of the late deceased.
Fund origin certificate.

These are the documents which you will send to the bank on their request immediately you send the application to them as the cousin to the late deceased, since he died off with his entire family.

My dear feel very much free and handle this transaction with me with utmost secrecy and confidential, because I am a married man with children, and I want you to do your best and have this money transferred to your account as we are going to invest it in your country under your advisory care and management control upon the receipt of the fund on your bank account.

Finally I will like to know more about you and your area of business as to understand ourselves much better and also I will need to have a copy of your picture as I will send mine also. By the time we meet together in your country as one family you will understand that I am very good and responsible man to handle business with.

I think I will stop here till I hear from you for us to start the procedures, and do not haste to ask any informations or questions that you needed to be clarify from me. And again I will like to have your direct telephone number for easy communication.

Upon the receipt of your positive response to this mail I will send you the text of application as I told earlier.

Await your urgent response.

Remain yours sincerely,

Dr Nkonye (Tel: 0022505663731)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: More information on me

Sent: Thu, 06 Nov 2003 16:18:02

Nkonye,

Thank you for your prompt response to my email, and for providing me with the extra information I requested. I remember the Concorde crash you refer to as if it were only yesterday. The sight of that majestic plane falling from the sky in a ball of flame will be imprinted on my mind forever. What a terrible day that was. How fortunate, though, that some good can come out of such a tragic event - both of us stand to do very well out of the death of that poor German fellow.

You made it very clear in your email that trust is imperative in this matter. I could not agree more. I understand the delicacies involved, and we both have our reputations to uphold, so I can assure you that I will deal with this matter with the utmost secrecy, tact and discretion.

I can quite understand that you want to know as much as possible about me before we collaborate on this business. I shall therefore give you some background information on myself, which I hope will convince you of my sincerity, honesty and trustworthiness, and will show that I am a suitable partner for this venture.

As you say that you have already carried out some preliminary research on me, you presumably know that I am Lord Murray, 18th Earl of Gypping. Note therefore, that the correct form of address is "Lord Murray", not "Gilbert". Only my dear late mother called me "Gilbert". I would appreciate it if you could address me properly from now on. For the record, my full name is Gilbert Arnold Algernon Ffarquhar Pomphrey Maurice Micklewhite Murray. My family has a tradition of passing on the names of relatives to their offspring, resulting in rather overlong names such as mine. "Lord Murray" is thankfully much more succinct.

My family is of Norman stock (the family name was originally "de Meurray" until it was anglicised), and came over to England with the Conqueror in 1066. The family first came to prominence when my distant ancestor, Gaston Hirondelle de Meurray, a knight in the King's service, assisted the Conqueror when he fell ill after eating a surfeit of lamprey. The grateful monarch granted him the hereditary title of King's Keeper of the Privy, a title which has been proudly held by my ancestors up to and including the present day (although the duties associated with the role have thankfully been reduced to one ceremonial act per year, which takes place on 21 August).

My family has been pre-eminent in English history from that day forward. The first Earl, Norman Stanley Fletcher Murray, was granted the Earldom of Gypping by Charles II the day after the King was restored to the throne. The first Earl had been one of the King's most faithful retainers all the way through Cromwell's Commonwealth, and risked his life on many occasions to perform his duties in the King's service. The Earldom of Gypping, and a substantial parcel of land in the county of Lincolnshire, was his reward.

The first Earl lost no time in stamping his mark on his land by beginning the construction of Hemlock Hall, on the edge of the village of Gypping in the Marsh. It was not the best location to build a large manor house; as the name of the village suggests, the ground around here is extremely swampy, and the original Hall sank into the mire just three years after it was completed. Nevertheless, the first Earl persevered, and found that the sunken timbers of the first Hall made an excellent foundation for the construction of the second Hemlock Hall, which forms the basis for the house in which my family has lived ever since. As the fortunes of my family grew in the intervening centuries, the Hall was extensively enlarged, but you can still see traces of the original Hemlock Hall in the cellars below the second ballroom.

Unfortunately, the 20th Century was not so kind to my family. A combination of rising death duties and ill-conceived business ventures (such as the 16th Earl's plans to ship coals to Newcastle and sell ice to the Esquimau) resulted in my family's fortune being dramatically reduced.

When my father, the 17th Earl, died, I inherited not only the Earldom and Hemlock Hall, but crippling debts. Ever since I inherited the title, it has been a constant struggle for me to maintain Hemlock Hall and to prevent it from sinking into a state of total dereliction. Thankfully, my efforts have so far been successful. I have been forced to cut back the number of staff working here to the bone, and have started a number of reasonably successful business ventures, selling organic produce that we grow on the estate. I have even managed to wrest back some of the family's fortune, and thanks to a frugal lifestyle, can now count myself as reasonably wealthy once again.

However, Hemlock Hall remains in a parlous state. This is why I am keen to partake in this business venture. The 30% of the profits coming my way should be enough to arrest the decline in the Hall's condition and to carry out some of the most urgent building work, such as stabilising the foundations, treating the rising damp and replacing the roof. Without this work, Hemlock Hall is doomed to fall into wrack and ruin. After such a long line of illustrious ancestors, I would hate to be known as the Earl who allowed the Hall to fall.

I am sorry, I fear I may have digressed somewhat. However, hopefully this has given you some idea of my character and my motivation.

Here are my personal details:

Name: Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

Address: Hemlock Hall, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK

Telephone: 01927 58367

The infrastructure here at Hemlock Hall is rather antiquated, and I do not have a fax machine. I trust that emailing documents to me will not be a problem.

I trust that this is all the information you need from me in order for us to move forward.

I look forward to receiving the death certificate and fund origin certificate from you as soon as possible, and to working closely with you on this venture to ensure a successful and profitable outcome for both of us.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: SEE THE NEXT MAIL FOR THE APPLICATION FORM

Sent: Thu, 06 Nov 2003 17:46:55 +0000

Dear Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

I thank you so much for your mail and also the informations and profile about yourself and your family background.

I am so much more than happy, and I have every confidence and trust with you in this business transaction which we will carried out on a good faith. Once again I really appreciate your effort so far in this transaction.

About the death certificate and fund origin certificate I will be sending it to you as soon as you send the application form which I will send to you now to fill accordingly and send it to the my bank immediately for the approval of the fund on your behalf as the beneficiary/next of kin, as I have arranged it on your favour.

Check the next mail for the application form.

Finally my brother, now that I have imposed all my hope and trust on you regarding this business transaction I will need a copy of your picture, because I have invested a lot in this transaction to see that I gathered all informations completed before contacting.

Await your urgent response.

Remains yours sincerely,

Dr Nkonye

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FILL THE APPLICATION FORM AND FAX IT TO THE BANK

Sent: Thu, 06 Nov 2003 17:50:48 +0000

ATTACHED IS THE TEXT OF APPLICATION OF CLAIM YOU WILL FILL PRINT OUT AND SUBMIT TO THE BANK BY FAX OR VIA EMAIL FOR PROCESSING FOR THE RELEASE OF THE FUND INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS YOU FAX THE APPLICATION FORM.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: A query, and my photograph

Sent: Fri, 07 Nov 2003 09:52:26

Nkonye,

Thank you for your email, and for sending me the text of the application form which I am to send to the bank. I must say, I am most impressed with the speed and efficiency with which you are conducting this business. Most commendable.

I have had a most disagreeable night. We had a violent storm last night, and the wind blew some more slates off the roof of the east wing, where the roof is in a particularly poor condition. As a result of this, the rain poured into one of the guest bedrooms. My manservant, Winton, alerted me to the problem at 2am, and we spent the rest of the night teetering on the top of ladders in the midst of the gales, patching up the hole in the roof with a tarpaulin as the winds whipped around us. I am sad to say that the ingress of water has severely damaged the 18th Century handmade Chinese wallpaper in the bedroom, possibly irrevocably. This is a disaster - the wallpaper is practically irreplaceable. Such are the trials and tribulations of looking after such a house.

But back to business. Before I send the application form to the bank as you requested, could you confirm to me that the dead German's name is correct? He is named on the form as "Athur Billings", but I have never come across anyone called "Athur". And with my family history I am well-used to people with long and unusual names. Should this be "Arthur Billings"? Please confirm. Could you also confirm that the name of the bank official I am to send this to is "Sir Yao Ngoran"?

As for the rest of the form, I will correct the rest of the spelling mistakes it contains, then print it off and forward it on to the bank as soon as you get back to me.

You asked for my photograph. Of course, my dear fellow. I have attached it to this email. I am the gentleman in the centre of the photograph, which was taken earlier this year at an awards ceremony at Cleethorpes University, our local establishment of learning, which was founded by my ancestor, the third Earl. My family has always maintained close links with the University, and in recognition of this, I am honoured to hold the hereditary position of the University's Grand Wazoo.

I look forward to receiving your own photograph in return, my dear fellow. Tell me also, what is your first name?

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: A query, and my photograph

Sent: Fri, 07 Nov 2003 13:54:38

Nkonye,

I am disappointed that you have not yet responded to the email I sent you this morning, in which I raised two queries relating to the application form you sent me. I had hoped that you would have responded in a more timely manner.

I am a busy man and am keen to see this transaction concluded as soon as possible. Kindly respond to my queries by return so that I can send the application form to the bank.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: SEE ATTACH FOR MY PICTURE

Sent: Fri, 07 Nov 2003 16:09:23 +0000

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

Please I am very sorry for the late response to your mail, at least you suppose know the nature of my job. Since we are attending to so many clients in the bank, that is the reason why I delay to get back to you.

Again, I am very sorry for the disaster that happened yesterday night in your city, but I believe when good thing and blessings coming on somebody's way, there will be many temptations, but we must overcome all and achieve our goal, so do not worry about the incidence that happened yesterday night and be a man, because I believe very soon you must surely restored every thing back in abundantly.

Please regarding the application form I sent to you, you should bear in mind that here is a French speaking country, so you have to bear with us.

Here is the correct name to late deceased, MR ARTHUR BILLINGS, and the name of the bank official is SIR YAO NGORAN.

So you can print it now and fax it to the bank immediately, as I will be sending you the copy of my picture, in fact yours is nice and I will like to have your personal picture also.

Await your urgent response as soon as you send the application form to the bank.

Dr Nkonye Akubia

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: Thank you for responding

Sent: Fri, 07 Nov 2003 16:49:32

Nkonye,

Thank you for your email, and for responding, eventually, to my queries. Now that you have answered them, I shall engage Winton's assistance immediately and we shall print out, sign and rescan the form. Winton understands modern technology far better than I do. I have trouble sometimes understanding how the system of bells and wires that I use to summon the servants works.

You must be having some difficulty with technology yourself - the attachment you sent me was a blank document. Please resend your picture.

As soon as Winton has helped me to scan the form back into the computer, I shall email it to the fellow at the bank as you requested.

I am afraid that I will be unable to devote much of my time to this endeavour over the coming weekend. My dear wife, Lady Murray, has one of her distant aunts, Lady Godiva, visiting, so our time will be spent entertaining her in the manner to which she is accustomed. Winton has been airing one of the guest suites in the east wing this afternoon in preparation for her arrival - not the one affected by last night's leak, of course. I only hope that the old dear does not find her rooms too draughty - this is not a warm house, and she has a tendency not to wear enough clothes. If she will insist on sitting around the place wearing next to nothing, what can we do if she complains about the cold?

Ah, I can hear Winton's footsteps approaching along the corridor now. The system of bells and wires that was installed by the 14th Earl is magnificent. I have only to tug Winton's cord a couple of times and the man comes almost instantly.

I sincerely hope that you have a splendid weekend, my dear fellow, and I look forward to receiving your picture.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Gilbert Murray

To: BIAO Bank

Subject: Application for the transfer of funds

Sent: Fri, 07 Nov 2003 16:55:22

Ngoran,

Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping. I am writing to you following the untimely demise of my cousin, Mr Arthur Billings, a German citizen resident in the Ivory Coast, who carelessly died in a plane crash in the year 2000. As Mr Billings' immediate family were also most inconveniently killed in the same plane crash, I am now Mr Billings' closest surviving relative.

It has come to my attention that Mr Billings has a sum of $18.5 million dollars deposited with your bank. I am therefore writing to you, in the position of Mr Billings' closest surviving relative, to apply for the transfer of these funds from your bank into my own bank account. Please see the attached document for details.

Kindly contact me as soon as the funds have been transferred into my bank account.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

Gilbert's application to the bank
(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: I have forwarded the application form to the bank

Sent: Fri, 07 Nov 2003 17:03:49

Nkonye,

A quick email to inform you that I have just sent the application form to the fellow at the bank. I could not believe how quick and easy it was. Winton truly is a gem amongst butlers.

I shall now see if there is anything I can do to help my dear lady wife prepare for the arrival of her aunt tomorrow. The old girl can be quite troublesome sometimes. I foresee a weekend fraught with difficulties.

Anyway, I wish you a pleasant weekend, and look forward to resuming this business on Monday.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: HAPPY WEEKEND TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY (RE-ATTACH MY PICTURE)

Sent: Fri, 07 Nov 2003 18:07:00 +0000

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

I thank you so much for your urgent response to my mail, and as well the application form which you told me you have sent to the bank.

Now we will wait to hear from the bank for the approval of the fund on your behalf as the beneficiary/next of kin, which I strongly believe that the bank will approve it on your behalf as I have made all the necessary arrangement for the smooth transfer to your account.

Please you have to keep me updated as to know the development between you that the bank, because now that you have fax this application form to the bank you are the recognise and the beneficiary known to the bank since all the endorsement and signatory will be on your name.

Once again have the faith and believe that very soon we will meet together as one family and have embraced of ourself.

I have re-attached again my picture.

I wish you happy weekend to you and your family as I hope to hear from you by Monday morning as you promised.

Remain yours sincerely,

Dr Nkonye Akubia

Dr Nkonye Akubia
(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: Thank you for your photograph

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 09:30:32

Nkonye,

Thank you for sending me your photograph. I must say, you look like a jolly chap.

I trust that you had an enjoyable weekend. Lady Godiva arrived at Hemlock Hall on Saturday, and as expected, she immediately started to complain that it wasn't warm enough. I pointed out to her, as I always do, that most people tend to wear more clothes, especially at this time of year, but she completely disregarded me and continued to moan about the temperature all weekend. Winton made a roaring fire in her bedroom on Saturday night, but that still wasn't enough to satisfy the old girl. Lady Murray and I sighed with relief when she left on Sunday.

On a more positive note, Sunday was the day of the annual Gypping in the Marsh Autumn Fete, at which the vicar of St Mary's, Parson Snows, had asked me to judge the two main competitions of the day: Cock of the Year, and Baps of the Year.

Gypping in the Marsh is famed throughout the area for the quality of its cockerels. Local farmers have bred them for centuries, and the Gypping Cock is renowned as one of the finest breeds available. It has a particularly elaborate set of tail feathers. So, midway through the afternoon I judged the Cock of the Year competition. It was a sight to warm the cockles of one's heart, to see so many local farmers standing in a line, proudly holding their cocks in their hands. After examining them closely, I finally judged Farmer Palmer's cock to be the finest in the show, and he looked on with immense pride as I handed him a rosette.

After judging the cockerels, it was the ladies' turn, as I judged the Baps of the Year competition. The ladies of Gypping in the Marsh have baked a uniquely-shaped type of soft bread roll for more years than anyone cares to remember, and they compete ferociously each year to show that their baps are finer than anyone else's. When the judging commenced, the ladies stood in a line with their baps proudly on display. After examining and nibbling each of the ladies' baps in turn, I pronounced Mrs Huntley's to be the finest baps I had ever seen.

I expect that I shall hear from the bank sometime today. I will contact you as soon as I have heard from them, my dear fellow.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: BAD NEWS FROM DR NKONYE AKUBIA

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 10:56:45 +0000

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

I have a bad news from my wife this morning, I just received a telephone call from the hospital telling me how my dear wife had a fatal accident after she dropped my son in his school this morning on her way coming back home.

According to the eyed witness, there is a big lorry from a bending corner which was unable to control from driver as the lorry failed brake and hit the bottom of the vehicle as my wife can not be able to control her steering any longer and droved to a corvet, which her car tumbled twice.

In fact my brother I am writing this mail with tears rowling out on my face as I am totally confused I don't know what to do now, you need to see how my dear wife is lying in the hospital with blood all over her body, in fact am finish if I should loose her, because I am so much afraid on her condition.

This is was what delay me from writing you this morning to know if the bank has contacted you for the immediate transfer of the fund to your account since you told me that you have send the application form to the bank, please you have to bear in mind that you are the person in position and access to this deposited money in my bank, as to feeding me back with the development between you and the bank, because you are now the beneficiary to the deposited fund.

Please I have to stop here as I will be going back to the hospital now and I will be back in 2 hours' time as I will be expecting your mail, because right now am in a deep problem.

Remain yours sincerely,

Dr Nkonye Akubia

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: You have my sympathy

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 11:32:56

Nkonye,

What thoroughly disagreeable news. I am shocked. I am aghast. You have my sympathy. I have told Winton your news, and he asks me to inform you that he too is shocked and aghast, and that you have his sympathy too.

Believe me, I can fully appreciate how you must be feeling right now. Lady Murray had a fall whilst badger hunting last year when her horse threw a shoe, and she was quite badly bruised. It took days for the bruises to go down, during which time she was quite unable to appear in public. It was a most vexatious time for both of us, especially as it coincided with the annual Hunt Ball, which Lady Murray had to miss.

Oh, Winton has just asked me to point out that it may be worthwhile asking the hospital staff to clean the blood from your wife's body. Cleanliness is next to godliness, as I'm sure you know. Mind you, by the sound of things, your wife is probably just about as close to god as it's possible to get at the moment without actually dying.

On a more positive note, maybe you should look on the bright side, my dear fellow. After all, not many people survive fatal accidents in the way that your wife has done. I only hope that complications do not set in after the accident.

Presuming that your wife is not dead when you reach the hospital, please pass on my kindest regards. And Winton's regards too. That is if she can hear you - I suppose she may be in a coma.

Winton and I will say an extra little prayer tonight for you and your dear lady wife. We will pray to the Lord that she makes a full and complete recovery, and that she does not wake up as a mindless crippled cabbage who has to spend the rest of her life drooling in her bed as you feed her liquidised food through a straw.

Still no word from the bank. No matter - I am sure they are busy people. I will contact you as soon as I hear from them my dear fellow.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: BIAO Bank

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: BIAO BANK APPROVAL OF FUNDS

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 16:54:00 +0300 (MSK)

BANQUE INTERNATIONALE DE L'AFRIQUE DE L'OUEST
8-10 Avenue Joseph Anoma - 01 BP 1274 Abidjan 01 - RCI
TEL: 0022503073926 FAX: 00 225 22 524 052
BIAO REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
ATTENTION TO Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,
Mr YAO NGORAN
Director, Foreign Remittance Department

Sequel to your application. Your money has been approved this 10th day of November 2003 to be transferred from account number 2864173255 to your nominated account as indicated on the application.

Beneficiary: Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

You should therefore immediately forward the following documents as stated below:

CERTIFICATE OF LEGALITY.
CERTIFICATE OF DEATH/REGISTRATION OF OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER.
SWORN AFFIDAVIT FROM FEDERAL HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE, REP. OF COTE D'IVOIRE.

As our banking procedures requires, you have to come down to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire to sign and submit your documents. Or in alternatives you should contact an accredited financial attorney here in Abidjan to represent you, below is the contact of our accredited attorney.

Barrister ADAMA SANGARE. Phone number 0022507884960. Email sangarechambers@justice.com.

You will be advised to comply with these directives within our working hours to enable us proceed on the transfer of your funds into your account.

Upon the receipt of the above documents, which is inline with article of the nation banking ethics SECTION IV SUB-SECTION 36 as amended in the physical year of 1996, the management of this bank will immediately transfer your fund via Telegraphic Transfer (T/T).

Anticipating your co-operations.

Yours faithfully,

APPROVED BY

Mr YAO NGORAN

Director of Foreign Remittance Department. BIAO Cote d'Ivoire

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: The bank has contacted me

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 14:17:51

Nkonye,

I hope you found your wife in a good condition when you visited her in the hospital. Do let me know how she is, there's a good chap.

This will cheer you up. I have received an email from Ngoran at the bank. I have to admit, I don't quite understand it all, but basically it seems that Ngoran wants me to send him a certificate of legality, that poor German fellow's death certificate, and a sworn affidavit from the Federal High Court of Justice in the Ivory Coast.

Ngoran mentioned that I would have to travel to the Ivory Coast to sort things out. This shouldn't prove to be a problem. A trip to somewhere warm would be rather pleasant at this time of year. It would also be interesting to see Abidjan myself: the 7th Earl made a fortune trading slaves out of West African ports, and I'm sure that Abidjan was one of them. I'll have to check the family records to make sure. Disagreeable business, slavery, of course, but the fact remains that my family did rather well out of it. Oh well, that's all in the past now.

Ngoran did mention that I could employ the services of a lawyer, but I see no need for that. I've not trusted lawyers ever since I lost my driving licence ten years ago. I paid through the nose for the best lawyer I could find, but I still got a three-year ban, a hefty fine and a suspended sentence. Still can't see what all the fuss was about. After all, the girl I ploughed into eventually regained partial use of her legs. It wasn't that bad.

Well, I assume that you have the documents I need to send on to this Ngoran fellow. Forward them on to me as soon as you can, there's a good chap, and we can put this matter to bed.

Winton sends his best wishes to you and your wife, by the way.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: PLEASE FOLLOW UP THE BANK INSTRUCTIONS

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 15:35:22 +0000

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

It has not be easy for me I just came back from the hospital where my dear wife is lying without help.

Again on the other side I feel very happy to hear that the bank has contacted you for the immediate transfer of this fund to your account, that is what I have been praying ever since I have been gathering this informations about this deposited fund in my bank.

Please my dear brother, I want you to follow up the instructions from the bank to avoid any mistake, as they demanded the required documents for the immediate transfer of this fund, contact the bank immediately and ask them to give you the attorney contact so that you will contact him for the requested documents from the bank to avoid delay, because this fund is a huge amount of money and it will need those document to back it up and also prove you the real beneficiary of the fund.

Once again, I want you follow up the bank instruction for us to achieve this goal without any problem, so that I will send to you the death certificate of the late deceased which I have here with me, but you need to get the rest through a help of an attorney from the Federal High Court, and furthermore you can as well tell the attorney to represent you in signing the fund release order in the bank, as I believe if you visit here the bank may ask you more questions that you may not answer and it will stop the transfer, as I told you earlier that I don't want them to know about my involvement in this regard.

Then after the money get transferred to your account, you will visit here so that I and you will proceed to your country immediately, as to avoid any delay, because you must prepare for your coming arrangement which will take some time and also cause delay in this transfer, if really you want to come and even if you come here you must need assistance from a lawyer to get the documents from the High Court, that is why I suggest you should not bother to come at this stage till we have this money transfer to your account, because that is the most important thing now as I want everything to be done as soon as possible, and after you are very much free to travel down and spent little time with me and my family.

Please my dear brother, I want you to contact the bank immediately you receive this mail and tell them to give you the attorney contact, so that you will contact him immediately and tell him to assist you in getting the required documents and submit it to the bank for the transfer on your behalf.

Remember, you have to mention the name of the requested document, but do not mention the death certificate since I will send it to you to send to the attorney as soon as he get the remaining ones, so that he will submit all to the bank.

I am waiting for your response as soon as you contact the bank and are through with attorney.

I want you to call me immediately on phone as you know the predicament am going through at this moment.

Remain yours sincerely,

Dr Nkonye Akubia

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: I am confused now

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 16:10:09

Nkonye,

Thank you for your email. I am glad to hear that your wife is not dead yet. Tell her to keep up the good work - I am sure she will pull through. Spent the afternoon castrating rams on the estate with Heathcliffe the Estate Manager, so I've seen a fair bit of blood myself today.

Now then, Nyonke, you must be strong for your wife. A stiff upper lip, that's what you need. A stiff upper lip has stood my family in good stead for generations. Well, that and a huge amount of land and money.

Now then, I'm afraid you have confused me over this fund transfer business. You told me last Thursday that you would send me a death certificate and a fund origin certificate. But I haven't received either from you yet. Now, this fellow at the bank tells me that I need to send him a death certificate, a certificate of legality, and a sworn affidavit from the Federal High Court of Justice in the Ivory Coast. He doesn't even mention the fund origin certificate. Do I need that or not? I trust you can see why I am confused.

On top of this, I'm rather confused over our arrangements. You said in your last email that once the money is transferred into my account, I should come over to the Ivory Coast and then the two of us would both proceed straight back to this country. Where's the sense in that? Seems like a bit of a wasted trip on my behalf if you ask me.

However, with all this fuss and bother over documents, I can see why you think I should get myself a good lawyer. With that in mind, Winton has suggested that I engage the services of a local lawyer: a Mr Welsby, of the firm Elton & Welsby. Apparently he is thoroughly decent and honest, and also charges a very fair fee. Winton says he used him some years ago after an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a schoolboy and a courgette, and Welsby ensured that all charges were dropped. What do you think? Should I contact Welsby and get him to move into action on our behalf?

Now, please get back to me and clarify exactly what the position is regarding all these confusing documents. I will contact the bank and Mr Welsby as soon as I hear back from you.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

PS. Please do not worry yourself about secrecy - I will not let on to the bank that you have anything to do with this whole matter. I am the very soul of discretion.

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: SEE YOUR ATTACH FOR THE DOCUMENTS

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 18:29:34 +0000

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

I received your mail, but it seems you do not understand me very well regarding the last mail I sent to you, nothing seem to be confusing on this issue.

Now my brother, I told you earlier that I will send you the death certificate and fund origin certificate as I promised, then the certificate of legality and sworn affidavit will provide through a help of attorney here in Cote d'Ivoire because the fund was originate here in this country.

Again, the reason while I made mention of you coming down here as soon as the fund gets transferred to your account, is for you to meet my family and have a very good time with us as I believe that we are one family now, but if you can not make it better, immediately the fund get transferred you will then send me some money from the total sum for my travelling to meet with you, since I don't have any money left with me, couple with the predicament am going through, that is the reason why I want us to get everything done as soon as possible and have this fund transferred to your account without much time to delay.

Please, I want you to contact the bank as I told you before so that they will provide lawyer for you in this country who will represent you in all the endorsement and as well get the other remaining documents and submit it to the bank immediately, because it will be a waste of money and time if you should get a lawyer from your country to represent you, as the fund was originated here in Cote d'Ivoire, and even if you do that in your country, you must surely get a another lawyer here who will represent because this fund is a huge amount of money. Even if the bank did not suggest you should get a lawyer I personally will advise you to do that, as to avoid any mistake, as I told earlier that I don't want anybody to know my involvement in this transaction, that is the reason why I support you should get a lawyer here who will stand on your behalf.

So my brother go ahead and follow every instruction from the bank, no matter the cost as I believe that it will not cost much, because the most important thing is the death certificate and the fund origin which I will send to you now, as I have spent so much money in getting it, which I believe that the rest document will not cost anything compare to how much money I have spent to get these two documents, which is the most documents that prove you the beneficiary of the fund.

So contact the bank immediately and ask them to give you the contact of the attorney so that by tomorrow or next this fund will be transferred to your account, but bear in mind that you have every right to deduct any incurable expenses you made on this regard to withdraw it as soon as this fund arrive in your account, like your telephone/fax bills you can as well keep the receipt of it, as I have kept the record of all I have spent so far in this transaction, to prove my sincerity to you when meet with you in your country.

Finally my dear brother, I am sending you these documents with the trust and confidence I have on you, hoping that you will not disappoint me at this stage, because these two documents am sending to you now proved you the real beneficiary of this fund, that is the reason I delay to send it to you till I know your capability to carry this transaction with me.

Now I have imposed all my hope and trust on you as one family, as you can see the stress am facing at moment, as am waiting for this money will be transferred to your account immediate, so that I will take good care of my wife condition as I have pay a lot of money and right now I received a call from the same hospital which they still demand extra $1,700 for more medication as she has lost so much blood.

Now I am total confused because I don't know who I will run to, as I have imposed all my hope on this money to get transferred to your account so that I will save the life of my darling wife.

Await your urgent response as soon as possible.

Remain yours sincerely,

Dr Nkonye Akubia

Athur Billings' death certificate
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: Thank you for clearing up the matter

Sent: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 20:56:37

Nkonye,

Thank you for your email, and for clearing up matters so concisely. My head was full of castrated rams yesterday afternoon, which probably explains why I found your last email rather confusing.

Thank you also for the documents which you sent. I think I now understand what I have to do.

I will contact the bank tomorrow and get things moving. I will also keep you informed of my progress with the bank.

Best wishes to you and your wife. I sincerely hope that she makes it through the night.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: GOOD MORNING MY BROTHER

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 07:54:21 +0000

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

Good morning my brother, I was in the hospital all through the night going round the whole room as I could not bear seeing the condition my wife condition as she is lying helplessly.

Meanwhile I received your mail this morning and also heard all you have said regarding your conclusion with the bank this morning. Go ahead and contact them without time delay as to see that all arrangement is concluded as soon as possible.

Await your response to know the development between you and the bank, as I will be going to the hospital and be back in 1 hour time.

Remain yours sincerely,

Dr Nkonye Akubia

From: Gilbert Murray

To: BIAO Bank

Subject: Documents attached

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 09:24:07

Ngoran,

Thank you for your email regarding the transfer of funds from the late Arthur Billings' account into my own.

Further to your request, I attach two documents: Mr Billings' death certificate, to prove that he is actually dead, and a fund origin certificate. I'm not too sure what the second document proves to be honest - my French is not too good.

Please note that Arthur's first name is spelled incorrectly on both documents. I hope that this does not matter. Arthur would not have minded.

Now then, you say that you also need a sworn affidavit from the Federal High Court of Justice in your country. I have been advised by a third party that it will be easiest for me to obtain this document with the assistance of a lawyer. You have suggested a Mr Adama Sangare. I will contact this chappie immediately and see if we can come to some arrangement.

Incidentally, I would like to make it absolutely clear that I have no connection whatsoever with a Dr Nkonye Akubia. This man, whoever he may be, has nothing whatsoever to do with this whole business.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Sangare Chambers

Subject: Request for information

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 09:50:07

Sangare,

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lord Murray, 18th Earl of Gypping. I am currently engaged in arranging the transfer of funds from the bank account of a late relative, Mr Arthur Billings, into my own bank account. Mr Billings was a German citizen resident in the Ivory Coast. I am now Mr Billings' closest surviving relative.

I have been conversing with a chap called Ngoran, the Director of something or other at the Banque Internationale de l'Afrique de l'Ouest. I sent Ngoran Mr Billings' death certificate and a fund origin certificate today, but apparently I also need to obtain a sworn affidavit from the Federal High Court of Justice in your country. Not sure exactly what one of these things is, but this is where you come in: Ngoran has recommended that I use your services to obtain this document.

Now then. I don't trust you lawyers to tell the truth. I had a bit of a bad experience a few years ago with one who turned out to be as useful as a chocolate teapot. Hopefully you will be different. What I'd like to know, before I engage your services, is details of your qualifications and experience, and details of your charging structure. What is this going to cost me? My butler, Winton, has had dealings with lawyers before, and tells me I should enquire whether you charge on a pro-contum basis, or whether your fees are to be inter-spatulum?

Get back to me as soon as you can, there's a good man.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: I have contacted the bank and the lawyer

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 11:04:26

Nkonye,

A quick email to let you know that I have contacted the bank this morning and passed on the documents you sent me. I have also contacted the lawyer they recommended, a chap called Sangare. Winton raised an eyebrow slightly when I told him I was not intending to employ Welsby's services in this matter, but I am sure that Sangare and I will be able to do business. I will keep Welsby in reserve, as it were, just in case this Sangare fellow turns out to be unsuitable.

Glad to hear that your wife is hanging on in there. Give her my best when you see her next.

Winton had a bit of a to-do with the coalman this morning. The chap who normally delivers our coal is apparently ill, so we had a new chap arrive this morning, who didn't know the ropes at all. He turned up and started unloading sacks of coal in the middle of the rear courtyard, rather than taking them down the passageway at the back of the house, where the coal bunkers are located. At this point, Winton, who was busy polishing the silverware in the kitchens, caught sight of what the man was doing. He raced outside instantly and accosted the man. When Winton told the coalman that he was unloading the coal in the wrong place, the coalman quite lost his temper, and a blazing row ensued. Winton, who is a large man, resolved the situation by grabbing hold of the brute roughly and taking him up the back passage, despite the man's protestations. The fellow then emptied his sacks, to Winton's satisfaction.

I shall keep you informed of developments, my dear chap.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Sangare Chambers

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: SANGARE CHAMBERS

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 06:49:07 -0800 (PST)

TO LORD MURRAY,

YOUR MESSAGE WAS WELL RECEIVED FIRST OF ALL I HAVE TO CONFIRM THE SAID INFORMATION FROM THE BIAO BANK AFTER THAT I WILL GO AND CONFIRM FROM THE HIGH COURT TO KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE TO OBTAIN THE DOCUMENTS I WILL GET BACK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY I RETURN FROM THE COURT.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

BARRISTER ADAMA SANGARE

SANGARE CHAMBERS, ABIDJAN, COTE DIVOIRE; TEL +22507884960

From: BIAO Bank

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: BIAO BANK INFORMATION

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 19:05:13 +0300 (MSK)

ATTENTION TO MR GILBERT MURRAY,

WE THE MANAGEMENT OF BIAO BANK ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THE TWO DOCUMENTS YOU FORWARDED TO US WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU TO SUBMIT THE REMAINING DOCUMENTS TO ENABLE US EFFECT THE IMMEDIATE TRANSFER OF YOUR FUNDS.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

MR YAO NGORAN

DIRECTOR, REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT, BIAO BANK, ABIDJAN, COTE D'IVOIRE

From: Sangare Chambers

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: SANGARE CHAMBERS

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 10:55:45 -0800 (PST)

TO LORD MURRAY,

I WAS ABLE TO CONFIRM FROM THE HIGH COURT AND THE SUPREME COURT THIS AFTERNOON.

THE COURT HAS AGREED TO ISSUE THE DOCUMENTS TO YOU AND THEY ARE DEMANDING THE SUM OF $2,600 DOLLARS FOR ALL THE DOCUMENTS.

THE COURT SAID YOU HAVE TO PAY THE $2,600 DOLLARS BEFORE THEY WILL ISSUE THE DOCUMENTS TO YOU. YOU HAVE TO SEND THE MONEY IN MY NAME THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TO ENABLE ME GO BACK TO THE COURT TOMORROW MORNING AND PAY THEM SO THAT THEY WILL HAND OVER THE DOCUMENTS TO ME.

SEND IT LIKE THIS:

FIRST NAME: ADAMA

LAST NAME: SANGARE

ADDRESS: BP 146 ABIDJAN COTE DIVOIRE

TEL: 0022507884960

WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER ABIDJAN COTE DIVOIRE

IMMEDIATELY YOU MAKE THE PAYMENT THEN YOU SEND THE CONTROL NUMBER TO ME SO I CAN AS WELL COLLECT IT AND PAY TO THE HIGH COURT.

EXPECTING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.

YOURS

BARRISTER ADAMA SANGARE

SANGARE CHAMBERS

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Sangare Chambers

Subject: Hold your horses

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 20:11:33

Sangare,

I am in receipt of the two emails you sent me today.

I am grateful that you responded to me so quickly. However, hold your horses, man. You have not dealt with any of the questions I raised in my last email. I must have answers to these questions before I go ahead with this transaction and agree to using your services.

To reiterate the points I raised in my last email:

I asked you for details of your qualifications and experience.
I asked you for details of your charging structure. Do you charge on a pro-contum basis, or are your fees inter-spatulum? Or perhaps you charge according to Doonican's inverse sliding scale?

Kindly answer my questions. Then we can move forward.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Gilbert Murray

To: BIAO Bank

Subject: Three points

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 20:15:21

Ngoran,

I am in receipt of your email.

Three points.

First, kindly address me in the correct manner. The correct form of address is "Lord Murray".

Second, the lawyer you recommended does not seem very good at answering questions. This does not bode well. If he does not start doing as I ask of him, I will be forced to move forward with a lawyer in this country.

Third, your CAPS LOCK key appears to be stuck on. Turn it off at once, man. Do you not know that it is rude to write COMPLETELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS?

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr Nkonye Akubia

Subject: The lawyer and the banker

Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 22:09:53

Nkonye,

A quick email before I retire for the night to keep you up to speed with developments. I have heard from the bank and the lawyer. Unfortunately, the lawyer did not answer the questions I put to him, and Ngoran from the bank came across as rather rude.

I have got back to both of them and hope to receive more civil and useful responses tomorrow.

I do hope that your dear lady wife is still managing to hang on to life. Please send my regards to her. Now remember that stiff upper lip, Nkonye.

Best regards,

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping

From: Dr Nkonye Akubia

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: PLEASE STILL HASTEN THE BANK

Sent: Wed, 12 Nov 2003 08:10:21 +0000

Lord Murray, Earl of Gypping,

Good morning my brother, am sorry for not getting back to you yesterday as I was busy going round the whole place to see if I could be able to raise money from friends to take care of the hospital bill, but all was no avail.

So you have to keep on contacting the bank and the lawyer so that they will know how urgency and serious you are for them to haste up with every arrangement, because all my hope now is lying on this fund to be transferred to your account so that I will take good care of my wife. Up till yesterday she could be able to raise her eye, in fact my brother I am afraid on the condition of my wife as her condition seems to be worse, as am praying day and night for her quick recovery, which I will like you and your family to join me on my daily prayers for my wife healing.

Please, I will stop here and rush to the hospital and be back in 1 hour time.

Hope to hear a positive response on the conclusion between you and the bank so that they will effect the transfer immediately without time delay.

Remain yours sincerely brother

Dr Nkonye Akubia

Click here to view the concluding part of this scambust.