In which Gilbert responds to the Chairman of the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission of Nigeria, who has offered to release a contract payment that has been outstanding for some time. Of course, the Chairman requires Gilbert to pay him a fee before he can release the payment...

Cast of characters

Gilbert Murray - Managing Director of Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd.
Philip Francis - allegedly Chairman of the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission of Nigeria.

From: Philip Francis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: YOUR PAYMENT HAVE BEEN RELEASE

Sent: Wed, 20 Oct 2004 14:26:15

FROM JUSTICE PHILIP FRANCIS, CHAIRMAN, INDEPENDENT CORRUPT PRACTICES COMMISSION, HERITAGE PLAZA, ABUJA, NIGERIA.

REPLY TO EMAIL: justicephilip@mail2world.com.

DEAR SIR,

AUTOMATIC STOP ORDER ON THE RELEASE OF YOUR OUTSTANDING CONTRACT PAYMENT.

THIS IS TO FORMALLY INFORM YOU THAT I, JUSTICE PHILIP FRANCIS, CHAIRMAN, INDEPENDENT CORRUPT PRACTICES COMMISSION, IS THE PERSON WHO IS MAKING IT PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT FROM THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT AFTER CONCLUDING YOUR CONTRACT SATISFACTORILY.

THE REAL CAUSE OF IT IS BECAUSE SOME TIME IN THE PAST YOUR SO-CALLED LOCAL REPRESENTATIVES CAME TO MY OFFICE TO SOLICIT FOR MY HELP IN ORDER TO FINALISE YOUR CONTRACT PAYMENT, WHICH I DID WITH THE AGREEMENT THAT THEY WILL PAY ME MY SERVICE CHARGE AFTER HELPING THEM.

BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT LAST? THIS: YOUR AGENTS REFUSED VEHEMENTLY TO PAY ME MY SERVICE CHARGE WHICH NECESSITATED ME TO PLACE AN AUTOMATIC STOP ORDER PENDING WHEN YOU WILL CONTACT ME FOR YOUR PAYMENT.

BE YOU ADVISED THAT BASED ON MY POSITION IN THE GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA, TODAY I HAVE THE WHEREWITHAL AND PRESIDENTIAL FIAT/POWER TO RELEASE OR NOT TO RELEASE EVERY PAYMENT. BECAUSE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA HAS GIVEN ME THE POWER TO THOROUGHLY CONDUCT INVESTIGATIONS ON EVERY CONTRACT PAYMENT BEFORE EVER IT CAN BE RELEASED TO THEIR VARIOUS BENEFICIARIES, MY PROFILE SPEAKS VOLUMES OF WHAT I CAN BE ABLE TO DO, AND REMEMBER THAT WITHOUT ME NOBODY CAN EVER RELEASE YOUR PAYMENT.

I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT HAS BEEN LINGERING FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW WITHOUT ANY FORESEEN PROGRESS, BUT IF YOU STILL NEED THIS PAYMENT, KINDLY CONTACT ME UPON THE RECEIPT OF THIS IMPORTANT AND URGENT MESSAGE.

IF YOU ARE WILLING, I AM READY TO HELP YOU OUT, FOR YOUR AGENTS HERE HAS NO PRESIDENTIAL MANDATE TO EFFECT YOUR PAYMENT.

THANKS FOR YOUR ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

JUSTICE PHILIP FRANCIS

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: In response to your email

Sent: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 16:39:45

Dear Mr Francis,

I am writing in response to the email that you sent to me yesterday, regarding the contract payment that remains outstanding from the Nigerian government to my company. To be perfectly honest with you, I had given up all hope of ever receiving this payment: my company went to great lengths to try and get the Nigerian government to make the payment last year, as they were contractually obliged to do, but to no avail.

I had no idea why the Nigerian government withheld the payment for so long until I received your email. I have to tell you that this unhappy situation placed my company in an extremely precarious financial position last year, and I ended up sacking my Finance Director as a direct result of the troubles the company experienced.

Since his sacking, our financial position has thankfully improved, and we have actually written-off the payment that the Nigerian government should have made. However, if there is now a possibility of us receiving the payment, I would be extremely interested in pursuing it: $327,000 would make a huge difference to our balance sheet this year, and would enable us to finance further expansion within the company.

Please get back to me with details of what we need to do in order to get things moving.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Philip Francis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: AUTOMATIC STOP ORDER OF YOUR PAYMENT

Sent: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 14:34:26 -0700

Please find attached a document for your perusal.

A letter from the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission
(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: Thank you for your letter

Sent: Fri, 22 Oct 2004 10:43:36

Dear Mr Francis,

Thank you for your letter. I am afraid I am terribly busy today with other matters, but I will peruse the document this weekend and get back to you on Monday.

Wishing you a pleasant weekend.

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: A query

Sent: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 11:13:23

Dear Mr Francis,

I trust you had a pleasant weekend. I have now had time to look through the document you sent me last week.

Everything you say in your emails and your letter appears to fit in exactly with what happened as far as I am aware. It sounds as if our Nigerian representatives were about as much use as a chocolate chicken in this whole affair. I can only apologise on behalf of my company if our representatives on the ground failed to pay you your fee. I am pleased to say that we cut off all contact with them last year, following their failure to exact payment of the $327,000 that was owed to us by the Nigerian government.

I am delighted that you have contacted me and that it looks as if we will now be able to get hold of the outstanding contract payment. However, before we go any further, do you think it is worth me getting my lawyer, Mr Welsby of the firm Elton & Welsby, on the case? He's a fine man, and very well-respected in Lincolnshire legal circles. He may be able to guide us through the twists and turns of the legal jungle with the speed and accuracy of a spider monkey swinging from tree to tree, using the prehensile tail that is his knowledge of the law to keep a firm grip on the branches that are the issues we may encounter along the way.

Welsby's got the sharpest legal brain I've ever come across. He proved invaluable last year after an unfortunate incident involving a broken handle on the door of a walk-in freezer and an unlucky pair of workers on the night shift. Not only did Welsby manage to get all charges dropped, he also persuaded the judge to award us costs against the bereaved families. Let me know if you'd like me to contact him.

We used a Nigerian lawyer when we first got involved in this business... a Mr Adekunle, if my memory serves me correctly. He seemed fine at first, but as soon as we sent him some money to pass onto our Nigerian representatives, the fellow simply pocketed the money and disappeared without a trace! Perhaps that would explain why you never received the payment you were due.

Anyway, let me know whether or not I should get in touch with Welsby, and we can make some progress here.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Philip Francis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: STOP ORDER

Sent: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 12:28:30 -0700

Please find attached a document for your perusal.

A letter from the Federal Ministry of Justice
(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: I have been in touch with my lawyer

Sent: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 12:18:47

Dear Mr Francis,

Thank you for your email. I notice that the letter you attached to it came from the Federal Ministry of Justice this time, rather than from the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission. Although strangely enough, both of these bodies share precisely the same address and contact numbers. Very odd. What's the explanation for this?

Incidentally, do you work for the INDEPENDENT Corrupt Practices Commission, or the INDEPENDENCE Corrupt Practices Commission? You've used both spellings in your correspondence to me, which is most confusing. I think you may find that you've spelled it incorrectly on your letterhead. Or do you work for the Federal Ministry of Justice? It's all very confusing if you ask me. Please clarify the situation before we move forward.

Now then, I have contacted Welsby. He's out of town at the moment, but he's advised me to move forward with you with caution and to keep him informed of developments. Given what happened with this Adekunle chap last year, this sounds like good advice. Welsby commented that he found it deeply ironic that the Chairman of the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission requires a backhander in order to do his job, but that's neither here nor there to me.

So, where do we go from here?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: What is our next step?

Sent: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 09:48:31

Dear Mr Francis,

I am surprised not to have heard back from you in response to my last email.

I am keen to move forward with retrieving the outstanding payment that is owed to my company by the Nigerian government. I appreciate that you are probably a busy man, with backhanders, kickbacks, bungs and brown envelopes coming at you thick and fast from all directions, but I would appreciate it if you could try to expedite my case as quickly as possible.

Kindly deal with the points I raised in my last email so that we can move forward with speed.

I look forward to hearing from you by return.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: Please respond urgently

Sent: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 09:21:05

Dear Mr Francis,

I am concerned that I have not heard from you since Monday. Please respond urgently and let me know what is going on regarding the claiming of the outstanding payment that is owed to me by the Nigerian government.

I can only presume that you are currently busying yourself preparing documents to facilitate the payment of the outstanding amount.

I am extremely keen to recover this amount: it would make a big difference to the future of my company. Please therefore respond by return and let me know what our next step is.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Philip Francis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Settlement

Sent: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 03:39:00 -0700

Please find attached a document for your perusal.

Another letter from the Federal Ministry of Justice
(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: To what do I owe this display of petulance?

Sent: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 14:36:21

Mr Francis,

I am in receipt of your astonishingly rude email. To what do I owe this display of petulance, sir?

I have asked you a number of simple and straightforward queries. I do not think it is unreasonable to expect an answer to them from you.

My PA is currently making arrangements to withdraw your fee from our corporate bank account, and the money should be available to send to you early next week. However, given the unfortunate experience we had last year with Mr Adekunle, my lawyer has advised me not to send the money to you until I receive answers to my queries. It was you who suggested that I get in touch with my lawyer regarding this business, so how the devil can you complain when I take his advice?

I also expect an apology from you for your blatant rudeness, which was completely uncalled-for. This is no way to conduct business. Did your parents neglect to teach you any manners?

Kindly send me answers to my queries and an apology for your insolence, then we can move forward.

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: I now have the money ready to send to you

Sent: Tue, 02 Nov 2004 09:43:27

Mr Francis,

I am surprised not to have received a response from you to my previous email. Perhaps you have been busy correcting the spelling mistakes in your letterheads?

Whatever the reason for your tardiness, I now have the $4,250 ready to send to you. However, due to an unfortunate mix up, I have lost the letter you sent me that explained how to get the money to you. Kindly send me details of how I should get the money to you, along with details of how long it will take for the Nigerian government to release my outstanding payment.

I also expect an apology from you for the unwarranted rudeness you have shown towards me. Once I receive details of how to make the payment, along with a decent apology, I will transfer the money to you.

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Francis

Subject: You are a fraud!

Sent: Wed, 03 Nov 2004 16:23:09

Mr Francis,

Having heard nothing from you since last Friday, I decided to contact the Nigerian Ministry of Justice to see what was going on. The gentleman I spoke to knew nothing about you whatsoever. What is more, he informed me that you are not who you say you are, but that you are a lying fraudster!

Shame on you, Mr Francis, for attempting to line your own pockets at the expense of others. You should be ashamed of yourself. I am sure your mother would be deeply ashamed if she knew the depths to which her son had fallen.

You may be interested to know that I have passed your details on to an old friend of mine in the International Fraud Division of Interpol, who has promised to use his Nigerian contacts to track you down and ensure that you get your just desserts.

I hope you like the taste of prison food. Something tells me that you're going to be seeing a lot of it in the near future.

Gilbert Murray

Managing Director, Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd