In which Gilbert attempts to help the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria to defraud his own bank, while asking for his advice on a range of extremely bizarre new chicken-based products.

Cast of characters

Gilbert Murray - Managing Director of Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd.
Rhondda Valley - Gilbert's ever-accommodating PA.
Chief Joseph Sanusi - allegedly Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria.
Francis Morra - allegedly Manager of the Madrid branch of an international security company.

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Partnership business

Sent: Wed, 27 Aug 2003 12:33:41

My dear friend,

Good day to you. I know very well that this letter is coming to you full of surprises as we don't have any previous acquaintance. First of all, let me introduce myself to you. I am Chief Joseph Sanusi, the present Governor to the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN). I got your email address on the internet in a desperate search for a business partner that I decided to contact you and I want to assure you that I have not sent this message to any other person. Please note that this letter does not mean to cause any embarrassment in whatever form to your esteemed self.

My objective is to have you as my business partner overseas, and I want to do business with your esteemed self/company. I will use my good office to get a huge sum to be invested with you pending my time of vacation from the position in the CBN, then I will come over for reimbursement.

As long as I remain in the position, your interest will always be protected, in the same way I want you to protect my interest by keeping this letter secret. Note again, I said I want you to be my friend and business partner, I will use your name and account to remit huge amounts of money abroad. We are not allowed to have foreign accounts as civil servants, thus the reason I want to use yours.

Contact me through the following contacts below:

E-mail: josanusicbn@hotmail.com or josanusicbn@avu.org

Tel/fax: 234-1-7593670

I will also like to have your full contacts, your sincerity is the prime factor to the success of this relationship. Please introduce yourself in full.

Thanking you for your kind attention and looking forward to your urgent reply.

Yours, his excellency,

Chief Joseph Sanusi (Governor)

Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: In response to your email

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2003 10:56:55

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I am writing in response to the most interesting email that you sent to me in August. I must apologise for my tardiness in responding, but my computer has been playing up recently and I have only just managed to get it fixed and access my emails. It has taken me days to work through them all. Yours certainly captured my attention - it sounds like an intriguing proposition.

I do not know how you obtained my personal email address - my company does not have a web presence' as yet, although this is something we are actively working on. Perhaps you read my interview in the July issue of Poultry Processing Monthly, although I have to admit that I did not realise the magazine had such a wide ranging readership.

If it is not too late - I realise that you may already have found another partner for this venture, given the lateness of my response - I would be honoured to help you out here and become your business partner.

To give you a brief introduction to myself, I am the founder, sole owner and Managing Director of Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd, the largest and most profitable poultry processing company in the East of England. We provide top quality poultry products to a number of high-profile clients, including Sainsway's, Martins and Spender, and Wainrose. Building up this company has been my life's work, and my effort has been amply rewarded with the excellent standard of living that I now enjoy.

We are currently considering whether to expand the factory to incorporate a new pheasant plucking facility, which would enable us to move into new marketplaces. The proceeds of the transaction you outline could go a long way towards funding this proposed development.

Please email me back with further details. You mention "a huge sum". I would be most interested to know more.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: In response to your email

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2003 16:15:52 +0000

My dear Mr Gilbert Murray,

I must thank you for responding and having interest to work with me. I am very glad to read from you.

Honestly, I have not contacted anybody, I was still having that feeling that you will respond to my request. Besides, you know my position and personality, it cannot be easy for me to be contacting anybody and I cannot bend too low. I have not and I am very happy to read from you. You are highly welcomed my dear friend.

Meanwhile, I want to go straight to business as we must do something, that is the basic and the root of our relationship, "business", as in quote. But one important thing again is trust and reliability. We can achieve whatever we want. For me not to waste your time, I must open up.

You see, I have $45 million with a security company deposited in Europe (one of your neighbouring countries). This money is legal, which I made through crude oil allocation and compensation, but because it is prohibited for us not to own such amounts here and not to have foreign accounts as civil servants, I secretly moved the funds to Europe via diplomatic means as a diplomatic cargo during one of my official visits to Europe last year. Since then the funds have been idle, accruing demurrages. I deem it very fit to introduce you to the security company and instruct them to release the cargo to you, that is to start with. Thereafter, I shall introduce more huge funds to you from the CBN. What do you think? Please just feel very free to let me know to enable me to move forward and prepare a letter of authorisation to the security company for them to contact you for release.

If everything goes well, you shall have 30% of the total sum and subsequent amounts that I shall push forward to you, and my lawyer shall prepare an agreement that will bind us together.

When replying, please include your address, telephone and fax numbers which I shall use to prepare the authorisation letter.

Thanking you, and awaiting your prompt response. I hope you have rectified finally the problem with your computer, if not please find an alternative as we must do something to move forward.

My warmest regards to you and your family.

His excellency,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I am keen to move forward

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2003 17:35:02

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email, and for the extra information you have provided me with. I am most certainly interested in moving forward with this matter. I have always counted myself as an excellent judge of character, and I believe that I can tell by the way you write that you are a man of his word, and someone to be trusted.

I have a number of suitable bank accounts that we can use in this venture. My bankers, Bartletts of Lincoln, is a small and well-established bank that prides itself on service and, most importantly, discretion. I am sure you will agree that this is of prime importance in this matter.

I have indeed got my computer fixed, so you have no need to worry about that.

You asked for my personal details. Here they are:

Full name: Gilbert Arnold Murray

Company name: Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK

Telephone: 01927 58367

I must apologise, but I do not have access to a fax machine. I do not trust them, and prefer to email documents to people as attachments. I trust that this will not be a problem.

I trust that this is all the information you need from me in order for us to move forward.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am keen to move forward

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2003 17:30:57 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received now your most impressive response. Only God knows right now how elated I feel, please keep to your words, don't listen to what people may tell you or what you may hear about Nigerians. We are very good people. Only when you come closer to near us you will see and give judgement by yourself. Just very few people have given Nigerians that bad name and impression. I personally describe this ugly situation as misrepresentation and misinterpretation. Only God knows, and will reward every man according to his deeds. I will trust you, respect you, and will not let you down all through our relationship. In return I will appreciate you to do the same. My word is my bond to you.

I will not waste time to do as my previous mail indicated, I will send the letter to the security company in Spain tomorrow. Please do update me as soon as they contact you.

My warmest regards to you and your family.

His excellency,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

NB: Please make use of this number to call me for the meantime: 234-1-4814180. It is my house phone, don't call me on the office lines as I may not know what to discuss with you as a lot of people will want hear about my privacy. Please, I beg for your understanding here. If you call my house phone in the day time, my wife or children will attend to you as they are reasonable children and they will deliver your message to me. I will provide an additional confidential mobile line in due time.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: My movements next week

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 08:48:37

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I am most pleased that things are moving on apace. You seem to be a man of action. I heartily approve. I look forward to hearing from the Spanish security company. Let us just hope that their frequent siestas and Spanish practices do not hinder us in our business - I have not been impressed with the Spaniards I have dealt with before.

Now then, I must keep you informed of my movements over the next two weeks. Unfortunately I will be unavailable from Tuesday 7 October until Wednesday 15 October. I realise that this is bad timing, but due to prior commitments, it is unfortunately unavoidable. I am travelling over to New York to attend the International Poultry Product Convention.

This convention is most important to my business, as we will be showcasing our latest innovative product lines: chicken-based desserts and chicken-based soft drinks. These may sound strange to you initially, but I don't know whether you are aware that there is rather a glut of poultry on the market at the moment, so we are seeking to diversity our product lines by introducing processed chicken into a wider range of foodstuffs. Hopefully the American market will be impressed by our Chicken and Banana Pudding, our Chicken and Strawberry Crumble, and our Chicka-Cola drink (which comes in regular and diet versions). If we are lucky, we may be able to get one of the major American fast food chains to take on these products on a trial basis.

Due to my attendance at the convention, I will unfortunately not be able to deal with our business until my return on Wednesday 15 October. I must apologise for this. However, let me reassure you that I will apply myself with vigour to this business as soon as I am back.

By the way, I fully understand you not wanting me to contact you in the office. I would not want my secretary, Miss Marple, to overhear anything about this business either. As far as I am concerned, this business is strictly between you and I.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I notice that you sign off as "His excellency, Chief Sanusi". Please excuse me, but my knowledge of the tribal system is extremely limited. Which tribe are you "Chief" of?

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Please keep in touch

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 09:49:49 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I thank you so much for your open letter today. I must assure you that on no circumstances will the Spaniards hinder this transaction. Rest assured, they will not hinder us, besides there are also blacks working in the company so if there should be any governmental problem to arise, they would have informed me. Meanwhile, I have just forwarded the letter to them just now, authorising them to establish communication with you for the release of the cargo. Please don't hesitate to get me informed as soon as they contact you.

I understood that you will be travelling all the way to the United States for your poultry business. I wish you best of luck. However, you should try to keep in touch even when you are there.

I learnt also that you want to know my tribe, I am from the south side of the country, YOURUBA by tribe, and from Ondo State. I would want us to exchange our international passports, that will also explain where we are from. Please attach the first two pages of your international passport when responding and I will do the same.

However, I noted that you would want me also to keep this transaction very confidential and secret. Nobody in your office will know about it, rest assured, anytime I call and you are not there, I will only tell them to inform you that I called. I will prefer to call only your mobile phone, please provide the number as well.

I feel it could be possible for us to conclude this first transaction before your trip to the States to enable us commence the second transaction. I want to save more money for life and children as I am planning my retirement as we enter next year. I hope you understand.

So far, I am grateful with the way you are handing things. Please keep in touch.

My warmest regards to you and your family.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I would appreciate your advice

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 12:05:55

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. Although like you, I am keen to move forward with our first transaction as soon as possible, I am afraid that the preparations for my trip to America will take up most of my time between now and my flight on Tuesday. I am leaving the office this afternoon and making my way to a country house hotel with my Marketing, Sales and R&D teams. We are spending the whole weekend in a series of meetings in preparation for the convention, to ensure that we are fully-briefed. This convention is one of the most important events in the poultry processing industry year, and could be financially very rewarding for us - we have been trying to break into the American market for some time now. Again, I apologise for the inconvenience, but this is unavoidable.

Please do not think that I am disregarding my business with you. I want to assure you that our transaction is of the utmost importance to me, and as I said in my previous email, I will deal with it as my first priority when I return from New York. On the subject of the conference, I will do my best to keep in touch with you while I am there, but I expect to be extremely busy, so please forgive me if you do not hear much from me until I return.

You asked me for my mobile telephone number. I do not have a mobile telephone. I have taken note of the health scares that were in the press recently, and as I believe that they pose a serious danger to one's health, I refuse to carry or use one - I have no wish for my brain to be irradiated. I hope this will not prove to be a problem.

As for my passport, Miss Valley, my PA, takes care of things like this for me. I would imagine she has my passport together with the rest of my travel documents somewhere safe. I will ask Rhondda to send you a copy as you requested.

Thank you for the information on your tribe. Are you head of the entire tribe? As I say, I know very little about the African tribal system, but I find it all fascinating. I suppose it could be compared to the English class system.

Tell me, should I address you as "Your Excellency", or is it just other members of your tribe who are required to do that? I have no wish to offend you by addressing you incorrectly. Please accept my apologies if I have caused any offence in this way already.

Being Chief of your tribe, I imagine you must be a man of refined tastes. This being the case, I would very much appreciate your advice on something before I travel to my offsite meeting this afternoon.

Please view the attached file. It is a rough mock-up that has been produced by our Marketing Department showing the kind of design they propose to use on our new Chicka-Cola soft drink cans. As you will see, they are proposing that we go with a cartoon-like logo and an amusing strapline. Martha Tydfil, my Marketing Manager, assures me that this sort of thing will appeal to the younger generation, but I have to admit that I am not entirely convinced - in particular, I am worried that the strapline might be a bit too joky. I am afraid that the irony might go straight over peoples' heads, and that it might actually put people off trying the drink. I would appreciate your thoughts.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

An advertisement for 'Chicka-Cola, a fowl-flavoured drink'

Chicka-Cola marketing material

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: CONSIGNMENT NOTIFICATION

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 15:24:39 +0200 (CEST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Arnold Murray,

Following instructions received from Chief Joseph Sanusi, a depositor of a consignment in our security vault, to contact you as the beneficiary of his deposited consignment, we have made several attempts to reach you on the telephone number 0044 192758367 without success.

Sir, you are by this notification requested to contact us regarding taking delivery of this consignment and to confirm to us the date of your arrival to take delivery. Please note that this consignment has accumulated demorrage (sic) since it was deposited and to stop further accumulation, you need to confirm to us the possible date of taking delivery so that we can stop counting of the demorrage.

There are certain requirements which we will be needing from you before you can take delivery:

A certificate of deposit from the depositor.
A letter of authorisation from the depositor authorising us to release the consignment to you as the beneficiary.
The sum of 17,650.70 Euros, which covers our handling fees, insurance and accumulated demorrage charges.
Your international passport for identification as the rightful beneficiary.

There is need to contact us to inform us the possible date of your arrival to enable us book an appointment for you.

Regards,

Francis Morra (PRO)

GLOBAL NETWORK SECURITY, AFFILIATED TO PAN AFRICAN TRUST SECURITY, MADRID, SPAIN.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Re: CONSIGNMENT NOTIFICATION

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 15:11:37

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, you have been unable to get through to me as you have been dialling my home telephone number, and I have been in the office all day. For reasons of security and secrecy, I am afraid that I cannot give out my office telephone number. I am sorry if this was not explained to you.

You asked for a date on which I will be available to fly to Madrid and collect the consignment from your offices. I assume that Chief Sanusi has informed you that I am unavailable from now until Wednesday 15 October, due to prior business commitments. My PA, Miss Rhondda Valley, has consulted my diary and suggests that a suitable date for me to fly to Madrid would be Wednesday 22 October. Does this suit you? I am assuming that we will be able to conclude our business within a matter of hours on the day.

Before we go any further, I have a number of queries which I am sure you will be able to help me out with:

What is "demorrage"? This is not a phrase I have come across before. Miss Valley has had no success looking up the word in the Oxford English Dictionary either. Please explain.
Please provide me with a detailed breakdown of the 17,650.70 Euros fee to which you refer. I am a canny businessman, and no businessman worth his salt would ever pay a fee like that without seeing exactly how the final figure has been arrived at.
How is it best to pay the fee? I assume that cash on the day will be acceptable to you? As I will be travelling abroad, I will of course have my passport with me on the day. Or rather Miss Valley will have it in her attache case.

I will contact Chief Sanusi immediately and ask him to forward you the certificate of deposit and the letter of authorisation that you require from him.

Please note that I will not be contactable in any way from now until Wednesday 15 October as I am away on a business trip. I will read and respond to any emails you send to me between now and then on 15 October, but I will not be able to respond to them before that date.

Assuming that Wednesday 22 October is acceptable to you, I have asked Miss Valley to pencil it into my diary. We can arrange a precise time nearer the date. You will also have to inform me of the location of your office, of course.

I look forward to your prompt response with an answer to my queries, and I look forward to working with you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: The security company has contacted me

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 15:13:49

Dear Chief Sanusi,

You will be pleased to hear that I have received an email from a Mr Morra, from the security company. I responded to him immediately, suggesting that Wednesday 22 October would be a suitable date for me to travel to Madrid and arrange matters. Unfortunately, that is the first date in my hectic diary that I can make available.

I have send Mr Morra a few small queries, which I am sure he will be able to deal with. While we are on this matter, Mr Morra informed me that he requires two things from you: a certificate of deposit and a letter of authorisation. I told Mr Morra that I would ask you to forward those on to the security company if you had not already done so.

I trust this is all acceptable to you. I am sorry that I cannot move more quickly, this is a very busy time of year for us.

On another matter, I have received another email from Martha Tydfil, with her proposed marketing collateral for our new Chicken and Banana Pudding product. Once again, I am concerned that it is too joky. Ms Tydfil assures me that the wording of the strapline is "a deeply cool and ironic play on words", and that it will appeal to "young, savvy consumers everywhere", but once again I am not convinced. Am I just being too old-fashioned, or should I sack the woman? What do you think?

Ms Tydfil suggested that we call the cartoon chicken "Gilbert" in the advertising campaign. I suppose I should be flattered, but I'm not sure that I want the general public to associate my name with a cartoon of a cock.

Please send me your thoughts before I head off for my weekend meeting.

Wishing you a pleasant weekend.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

An advertisement for 'Chicken and Banana Pudding, nothing tastes more fowl'

Chicken and Banana Pudding marketing material

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: That is good news from you

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 19:57:13 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks both your mails today, the contents noted very well. However, I am very glad to hear that the security company contacted you. Please be more friendlier with them to enable them assist you as soon as you get there. And I want you to avoid declaring or making them know that the cargo contained funds until you get there to avoid raising eyebrows. I just want you to secretly go there and take the funds, open a bank account there and lodge it in bits or partially, depending on the kind of account you shall open.

Like I told you, the funds were well packaged in a trunk box marked as a diplomatic cargo and received by the security company as a diplomatic cargo, and tagged valued documents. Please, I want you to maintain that secret/code until they release the cargo to you.

I hope what the security company asked you for is a copy of the certificate of deposit and a letter that shows that you are the right person to claim the cargo, because they can't ask me to send them the certificate they issued to me and a letter of authorisation that I just sent them. I will send you the certificate of deposit tomorrow so that you can forward it to them.

Concerning your company and its products, you know I don't know anything yet about it, so I cannot give judgement about the lady. She might looking for ways to improves sales and impress you. Please don't sack her, rather give her your own ideas. I wish you the best of luck.

Meanwhile, I must tell you that I am disappointed on reading you asking questions again about "his excellency". You are an English person, you are supposed to know where and why I am being honoured with that. Don't you know where it should be used?

I am still looking forward to receive a copy of your passport, please do try as much as possible to send it to me before you leave, and I will send you mine immediately I receive yours. Get it from whoever is holding it, scan and send it via email by jpeg as an attachment file.

My thanks and warmest regards to you, your family and the entire staff of your esteemed company.

Looking forward to receive your response.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I have broken my meeting to respond to you

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 23:18:20

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I have taken a short break from our off-site meeting, which started early this evening and is lasting well into the night, to respond to you.

Please do not be concerned about my dealings with the security company - I am welI-versed in the ins and outs of business protocol and I can assure you that I will be the soul of discretion when it comes to dealing with them. And please do not worry - I will not reveal what is contained within the consignment. Your secret is safe with me. However, I have to say that their email raised a number of queries that must be resolved before we can move forward - for example, they used a phrase I have not come across before. I am sure that they will be able to answer my questions.

The security company did indeed ask me for a copy of the certificate of deposit and a letter that shows that I am the right person to claim the consignment. I might have got slightly confused on the matter of who is supposed to send what to the security company - please forgive me, but I have not dealt with this kind of transaction before. If you forward on to me the certificate of deposit, rest assured that I will pass it onto the security company as soon as is likely.

You expressed surprise at my asking whether I should address you as "Your Excellency". I cannot understand why. I know nothing about the African tribal system, and simply do not wish to cause offence to a valued business partner by referring to you incorrectly. Am I to understand that referring to you as "Chief Sanusi" is acceptable? I simply wish to ensure that I am addressing you correctly, my dear friend. I would hate to cause offence without realising it.

Regarding my passport, I have emailed my PA, Miss Rhondda Valley, and have asked her to forward you a copy as soon as she is able. Miss Valley is extremely dependable and trustworthy - in fact, she often serves as my right hand - so you should receive a copy of my passport directly.

Thank you for your input on Martha Tydfil's marketing collateral. It came later than I would have liked, but we are not due to discuss this in detail until tomorrow, when I intend to take your advice and speak freely to her about my concerns. I am definitely not happy about her initial designs. However, I employed her for a purpose, and she may well know better than me on this matter. We shall see. Thank you for your advice.

I must return to my meeting - I expect we will continue well into the night. I hope to catch up with you on Monday, before I leave for America. My sincere best wishes to you and your family.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: All is well

Sent: Sat, 04 Oct 2003 08:01:20 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thanks for your response. I understood what it took you to read and respond to the mail. Please be friendly while dealing with the people, remember to protect me and the funds. Whatever is the phrase that they used please don't mind, and I believe they will answer your questions well.

Meanwhile, you should not pick offence or even bother on how to address me, address me as your dear friend, no need for title or whatsoever. I am your friend and partner, OK?

I wait for a copy of your passport from your personal assistant as you promised.

God be with you and your family.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: CLARIFICATION

Sent: Sat, 04 Oct 2003 17:32:35 +0200 (CEST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

Please note that Wednesday 22 October is acceptable to us and an appointment will be booked for you on that date. There is no protocol to observe, so depending on the time of your arrival, we will be able to finish on that same day and if you wish to travel back to London, you can do that.

Our location is Plaza de Sur S/N, 28009, Madrid, Spain. The office is located right in the heart of the city but if you confirm the time of your arrival we could have you picked up at the airport by our driver to our office. The office address above is our administrative office but we do not disclose the address of our security vault where consignments of our clients are deposited for very obvious reasons until the client is identified as the true beneficiary.

You can pay the fees by cash in our office, there is no problem about that. We are still expecting the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation, and please note that the letter of authorisation MUST bear your passport number with your name attached to it.

I'm sorry for the error in the spelling of "demorrage". The correct word is "demurrage", and this is the cost of keeping the consignment in our security vault. You are aware that this consignment has been deposited in our vault since March 2002 and the cost of demurrage is 20 Euros per day, so between the months of March 2002 and October 2003, our demurrage fee is 11,500.00 Euros (the meaning of demurrage as found in the dictionary: "An expression that owner of a vessel may be entitled for demurrage for port delay to his vessel, but no dispatch is applicable in case laytime is saved").

Our insurance fee is 4,500.00 Euros (every consignment in our custody is insured to guard against theft or being tampered with).

Our handling/administrative fee is 1,650.70 Euros. Altogether totalling 17,650.70 Euros.

I look forward to working with you, and count on us for every assistance you may need regarding this transaction.

Regards,

Francis Morra (PRO)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Re: Clarification

Sent: Sun, 05 Oct 2003 08:57:09

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email. You seem to have answered all of my questions admirably.

I am pleased that Wednesday 22 October is acceptable to you. I am travelling to New York until a week on Tuesday, but on my return the following Wednesday I will arrange a flight to Madrid and inform you of my anticipated arrival time.

I understand that you are waiting for the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation. I will forward these to you as soon as possible. Please note that I may not be able to get these to you until my return from America. However, I will ensure that you get them in good time.

I look forward to meeting you in Spain on the 22nd.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Re: All is well

Sent: Sun, 05 Oct 2003 09:01:33

Dear Chief Sanusi,

A quick email after breakfast before today's meeting begins.

The security company has contacted me and answered all of my queries. They are happy for me to travel to Madrid on 22 October.

However, they still require a certificate of deposit and a letter of authorisation from me - I believe that you were going to email these two documents to me? I cannot proceed with the security company until you do so.

I trust that you have received a copy of my passport from Miss Valley.

I will check my email tomorrow before I travel to America.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: All is well

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 09:57:29 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

How are your and your family today? hope you had a wonderful weekend. And I believe you shall be on your way soon to America. I wish you the best of luck and pray that God will give you a peaceful and journey mercy.

I have not received any copy of your passport from your PA or anybody, please try as much as possible to get her send it to me before your departure to America. It is important because my lawyer has just requested for your passport number to enable him prepare the agreement and the authorisation letter. He stressed out that it is very important for the authenticity of the documents, please do. As soon as I receive it, I will despatch the certificate, including a copy of my passport altogether to you. Please consider it as very crucial and treat with despatch.

I am very happy to hear from you that the security company has answered your questions and accepted 22 October 2003 for your visit. Absolutely good news from you, please keep to your promise.

I am waiting eagerly to receive the requested copy from you this morning.

God bless you and your family.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Rhondda Valley

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Your passport

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:38:21

My dearest Gilbert,

Regarding your request for me to send your new colleague Mr Zanussi a copy of your passport. I thought it best to run this by Colin Bay, our Head of Security. I hope you approve of my actions. I decided it would be best to err on the side of caution, especially after that business with the Ukrainian Poultry Mafia intercepting your emails last year.

Mr Bay advised against sending a copy of your passport via email to anyone. He says that even if you trust the person you are sending it to implicitly, the possibility of someone hacking into your emails is too high, and that there is the possibility that a hacker could use your passport for nefarious purposes. He advises instead that you simply send Mr Zanussi your passport number.

Regarding our trip tomorrow, I have everything prepared. I have booked us two adjoining rooms in the hotel, so hopefully we will be able to mix a little pleasure in with our business. I'm hoping that "Gilbert the cartoon rooster" isn't the only cock I'll be seeing this week!

I shall send details of our travel arrangements to your wife as usual.

Regards as ever,

Rhondda xx

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Fwd: Your passport

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:54:59

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I attach the contents of an email that I have just received from my PA, Miss Valley. As you can see, she has consulted our Head of Security, who has strongly advised against me emailing a copy of my passport, for security reasons. We had some terrible problems last year when a rival poultry processing concern in the Ukraine managed to hack into my email account and tried to poach our customers from us. It is a dog-eat-dog world in this business sometimes. Or rather a chicken-eat-chicken world. Quite literally, actually, given what goes into chicken feed these days...

I trust that you can understand my concerns and that this is acceptable to you. Assuming that this is the case, my passport number is 037639887.

I trust that we can now move forward. I will contact you as soon as I return from the United States and get this show on the road.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Fwd: Your passport

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:26:36 +0000

I see no reason why you can't send a copy of your passport to me. If really you are what you are and you realise whom I am and the benefits attached to our relationship, you won't say no to it. You should not even ask anybody to send it to me, you should use your hand and do it. I am not asking anybody to send you my passport or even the documents, I can't release your email address or any of your contacts to anybody, not even my lawyer nor my wife, I keep everything highly confidential. Your passport is a point to prove to me that you are real. I am even disappointed for you to give my email address to your PA, to the extent taking the issue to another person. Think about. I will not release any document or my passport until you are back.

Thank you,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Trust

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 12:02:35

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I am in receipt of your email. I have to say, I was rather taken aback by its tone. Some might call it rude.

To deal with the points you raised:

My Head of Security has advised me not to send a copy of my passport via email, due to the risk of it being intercepted. You cannot possibly appreciate the scale of the problems we had last year when one of our competitors intercepted my emails. I have no wish for anything similar to happen again. My Head of Security has a good head on his shoulders, and I always take note of his advice.
I am not implying that YOU might do anything untoward with my passport; I trust you implicitly. My concern is that a third party might intercept the email and the copy of my passport. We do not want a repeat of last year's problems.
I passed your email address on to Rhondda Valley as she is my most trusted confidante. Believe me, I would trust Miss Valley with anything. She is the soul of discretion, which is very fortunate, all things considered. I have not passed on your email address to anyone else, and nor do I intend to.
What do you mean by "If really you are what you are"? Are you questioning my word?

I believe that we are at the beginning of an important and profitable business relationship. But business relationships are built on mutual trust.

I trust you completely. I have no wish to see your passport, to prove who you are. I can tell from the way you word your emails that you are a man of truth, a man who would find it impossible to lie or deceive. This is what trust is all about.

If you are questioning my word - if you do not trust me - then to be quite frank I would rather we quit this business here and now. I will not do business with a man who does not trust me. Never have done, never will do.

I think we are in a position here to help each other out, very profitably indeed.

I have given you my passport number. I have given you my personal details. I trust you. I refuse to waste my time with someone who does not trust me. Either you trust me, or we can forget this whole business. Personally, I think it would be a shame to throw away this unique opportunity. The choice is yours.

I look forward to hearing from you. I expect a reply before the end of the day.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Trust

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 11:41:38 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thank you for your prompt response. First of all, let me say that am sorry for taking you aback. You see, I want you to understand me. I don't want at the end of it all, it will be that I was revealing my self to a fellow Nigerian. We are just communicating only via email, I have not heard your voice either. A lot of Nigerians are over there. I trust you, but I need more evidence to certify that you are truly Mr Gilbert Murray, as per trust, honestly speaking, I trust you 100%. Consider my position and my personality. Please, it is better we end here if you are making jest of me, please try to understand me. I will send you my own passport including my CBN staff ID card without any problem. If you can fax yours then I will give you a confidential fax line that you can fax it, please try to understand. I tried to call the number you gave me but the line seem to be bad.

I do hope that you will see that I am trying to clarify the situation. I trust you my dear friend.

Thanking you and awaiting your response.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I am pleased that you wish to continue

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 19:06:27

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I must say that I found it slightly confusing. You say that you trust me 100%, but in the same sentence you state that you need more evidence that I am Gilbert Murray. To me, this says that you do not trust me.

Thank you for your offer to send me your passport and CBN identity card, but as I have already told you, I trust you. I do not want any proof that you are who you say you are. What would there be to gain from you lying about this?

Similarly, I do not understand why you think I may be "making jest". What possible reason would there be for me to do that? I am a busy man and to be frank I have far better things to do with my time. This is a business relationship.

I apologise that the telephone line I gave you appears to be faulty. The telephone company are working in the area at the moment replacing the telegraph poles and there are intermittent outages. Hopefully this will no longer be the case by the time I return from America.

I am sorry, but I will not be able to check my email now until I return from America next Wednesday. I look forward to resuming this business with vigour on that day.

Wishing you and your family all the best for the coming week.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am pleased that you wish to continue

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 18:55:02 +0000

Hello my dear,

I am happy to read from you again today. Right now, I am writing you from home. I wasn't expecting your response again as you said you will be travelling today. Did you not travel again?

Meanwhile, I have taken everything you said and I want to take you for your words. I believe you realise the mutual benefit this relationship will give birth to.

I will be waiting eagerly to hear from you, if possible you can give me your hotel room telephone number in the USA so that I can give you a call.

Thank you.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I am back

Sent: Wed, 15 Oct 2003 10:47:46

Dear Chief Sanusi,

You will be pleased to hear that I am back safe and sound from my trip to the United States. I feel rather jetlagged, but things could be worse.

How are you, my dear chap? I trust you are well? Everything alright at the bank?

Unfortunately, things did not go as planned at the International Poultry Product Convention. I had hoped that this would be a chance for us to break into the American market, especially with our new Chicka-Cola product. But events put paid to that. All seemed to be going well for the first day of the convention - there was a lot of interest from the American fast food companies and everyone seemed to want to sample some Chicka-Cola. However, disaster struck on day two, when over half the attendees at the convention came down with a particularly violent form of food poisoning. It was mayhem. People were vomiting everywhere. Most unpleasant. The convention had to be halted while janitors cleaned up. Health officials carried out a number of tests, and traced the outbreak back to the Chicka-Cola we had brought to the convention. Needless to say, after that little episode, nobody was in the least bit interested in Chicka-Cola, or in any of our other products for that matter.

Luckily, none of our own staff were affected - as we know very well what goes into our products, there are very few employees who actually eat them themselves. As you can imagine, I was furious. I got straight onto Don Caster, our Production Manager back at the factory, and instructed him to carry out a full and immediate inquiry into what had gone wrong. As it turned out, Don Caster himself was to blame - he had mistakenly used a load of diseased chicken flesh that had been marked as "unfit for human consumption" to make the batch of Chicka-Cola. What a fool! That chicken was supposed to be relabelled and sold on to an unsuspecting company in Poland, but in the end the Polish company got the good chicken by mistake! As soon as Don Caster reported his findings to me and admitted his guilt, I sacked him on the spot.

All in all, this has been a disastrous week. Let us hope that this coming week will prove to be better. And more profitable. After this week's fiasco, I could definitely do with the money.

So, where do we go from here? I was expecting to receive the documents I need from you, but you have sent me nothing. Please send me them by return so that I can forward them to the bank and we can get this show on the road.

Rhondda Valley has been busy looking into flights for me, and it would appear that I can get flight BA1792 from Birmingham to Madrid next Wednesday, which arrives in Madrid at 13:40 (local time). Miss Valley tells me that there are limited seats remaining in business class, so let me know as soon as possible if I should go ahead and book the flight.

I must go and rest now. The jetlag is catching up with me. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. On another matter, I now need to find an alternative market for our new Chicka-Cola product. How do you think it would be received in West Africa? Are you fond of processed chicken products there? Please let me know.

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: You are welcome my dear

Sent: Wed, 15 Oct 2003 11:01:27 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks your detailed message today. Very happy to read your message and to note that you are back. You are welcome my dear friend. Sadly to read what happened to you, please accept it as it came, don't allow it to pull you down. I believe that God has a reason for every purpose, he will surely bless you in one way or the other.

I have sent a message across to my lawyer for him to bring the documents, and I will send it to you later today as soon as he brings them. I did not feel comfortable to send it on your absence. Now that you are back, I will send it to you. Please finalise with your assistant for your travelling arrangements and forward to me your full schedule. You should also forward one to the security company officials in Spain to enable them appoint a driver to come to the airport to pick you up. Next Wednesday as you scheduled is OK. Please go ahead to finalise.

Thanking you, please expect the documents from me later today.

My regards to you and your family.

Your friend,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am back

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 11:12:18 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

How are you today? hope fine. I believe you received my mail yesterday, am sorry I could not send the documents as I promised yesterday. I am sending them one by one now. Please confirm the receipt because the server is too slow here.

I wait for your prompt response.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

The certificate of deposit

The power of attorney

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Arrangements for next Wednesday

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 13:53:10

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your emails, and for your kind words regarding the disaster we encountered at the International Poultry Product Convention. I appreciate your sentiments, although after what happened at the Convention, I am not sure that I agree with you that God has a reason for every purpose. I fail to see what reason God could have for making over 300 people ill with serious food poisoning. Although of course that was our fault, not God's. Anyway, if God really is going to bless me in one way or the other, I wish he would start doing so soon.

I suppose I should not complain. After all, I am blessed in a few ways. I have my wife and two lovely children. And I also have the lovely Miss Valley, who acts as my right hand in more ways than one. And on top of that, I also now have this promising business relationship with your good self. Things could be worse.

Regarding my travelling arrangements. I have instructed Miss Valley to book both of us onto flight BA1792 from Birmingham to Madrid next Wednesday, which arrives in Madrid at 13:40 (local time). She has done so. I have instructed her to leave the return flight open, to give me ample time to conduct the business with the security company, and to give Miss Valley and I chance to explore Madrid, and mix a little pleasure with our business, if you know what I mean. I am sure you are a man of the world.

Thank you also for sending me the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation. I shall of course send an email to the security company directly containing details of our flight, and ensure that they will be able to send a driver to collect us. I will attach these documents to the email I send.

I have a feeling in my bones that this business is going to be extremely profitable for both of us.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You did not answer my question about the nature of the processed chicken product market in West Africa. Please let me know - there could be an opportunity for us to make money here in more ways than one. I gather that the food hygiene standards in West Africa are lower than they are in Europe, which would suit my operation down to the ground.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Details of my travelling arrangements to Spain

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 13:56:48

Dear Mr Morra,

I am writing to you to confirm the details of my travelling arrangements to Madrid. I will be arriving at Madrid airport on flight BA1792 from Birmingham next Wednesday, which arrives at 13:40 (local time). I will be travelling with my PA, Miss Rhondda Valley. I trust this will be acceptable.

You mentioned the possibility of sending a driver to pick me up at the airport. I would appreciate this very much, as I do not know Madrid at all well, neither Miss Valley or I have a good grasp of Spanish, although I have to say that Miss Valley is peculiarly well-skilled in other matters of an oral nature.

I would appreciate it if you could send me an email confirming that this is acceptable, and confirming the items I must bring with me to Madrid. I attach the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation that you required.

Also, could you recommend a decent hotel for us to book into in Madrid? One close to your offices and also close to the centre of town would be ideal. Preferably a four or five-star establishment. Do you know of any hotels in Madrid that have waterbeds in their rooms?

Many thanks,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Your prompt response, please

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 21:26:20 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thank you for your detailed mail. I am quite glad to read that you are set to move on the stipulated date, please do send them the full schedule as you promised and send a copy to me as well. They will send a driver to come to the airport as they promised.

Concerning your chicken poultry product in Africa, that will be a welcome development to our business relationship. I will appoint some people to take care of it, just try as much as possible to send us details and samples.

Thank you so much,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Re: Your prompt response, please

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 22:48:24

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. A quick response before I sign off for the night. I have sent the details of my flight schedule to the security company in Spain, so they know what time I am due to arrive at the airport with Miss Valley next Wednesday. I have also asked the security company if they can recommend a suitable hotel for us to book into. I also sent the documents you forwarded on to me to the security company. So, all is set.

It is promising news indeed that you think there may be scope for my company to expand into the Nigerian market. I am most encouraged. The European Union is introducing new, ever more stringent laws on food hygiene all the time, and expanding into a more unregulated market would be a very good move for us.

Not that we produce unsafe products, you understand. I merely believe in the age-old saying "caveat emptor". You can regulate things too much in my view. We don't want to strangle business in red tape after all, do we? You are a businessman. I am sure you can appreciate my point of view.

I will compile a list of our current product range and send it on to you within the next day or so. I would appreciate it if you could send me details of any existing large poultry processing companies that are currently located in Nigeria - it is good to know who the competition are. Also, could you please let me know which chicken-based products are most popular in your country?

On a related matter, if you were looking for a decent company to invest in, you need look no further than us. In the world of chickens, we rule the roost, if you'll pardon the pun.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Your prompt response, please

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 08:18:02 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks your detailed mail, content noted. Please try as much as possible to let me know what their response is like on the letter you sent to them, you can forward their message to me please.

Meanwhile, concerning your poultry products, I will appoint somebody to make research within the poultry market here and within to bring you information. As you know, that it is not my line of business and you know I am always busy.

Don't worry, the person will handle that very well, just provide the samples and the range of your products.

Thank you, and do please write promptly,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Details of our product range

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 09:58:58

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. As requested, here are brief details of our range of products:

Full range of complete frozen chickens and turkeys, from economy to premium, including corn-fed and organic versions. With or without giblets.
Large range of frozen chicken portions, including breasts, thighs and wings. Again, these range from economy to premium, including corn-fed and organic.
Large range of processed chicken pies, including chicken, chicken and mushroom, chicken and spam, chicken and vegetable, chicken and gravy, chicken and turkey, chicken and ham and chicken and beef. Variety of sizes.
Large range of processed chicken ready-meals, including chicken and chips, chicken peas and chips, chicken curry, etc.
Large range of chicken soups, both ready-made and powdered.
Chicken-flavoured dog and cat foods (which are made on the same production line as our chicken pies, and which do not differ from the contents of the pies very much at all).
Our new experimental products (which are not yet on the market), including Chicka-Cola, Chicken and Banana Pudding and Chicken and Strawberry Crumble. Martha Tydfil is also looking into the possibility of producing a chicken-flavoured ice cream product, much along the lines of one produced by a famous fast food chain. This will give us another opportunity to make money out of the remnants of flesh that are left on the carcass once all the proper meat has been removed. Its working title at the moment is "Murray's Chicken Slurry Flurry". Although I doubt it will make it into production with that name. Martha has some strange notions of what is acceptable at times.

You will note that we are keen to diversify and "add value" to our products: there is not much profit margin on a simple chicken carcass. However, process the most unattractive slop into something more appetising, and you can whack the price up and get the mugs to get their wallets out. This is where we excel.

Please pass this information on to your Nigerian chicken expert. As for samples, perhaps you could take some back with you when we meet up and share out the money?

I will forward the security company's response to you as soon as I receive it. I am really looking forward to next Wednesday - I can almost taste the money. I am sure you feel the same way.

I must go: I have a meeting for the rest of the morning discussing our proposed new pheasant plucking facility. If this goes ahead, we will need to take on some new staff. Do you know of any pheasant pluckers in Nigeria?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I will do something about your products

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 10:00:53 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received your response with details of the range of your products, please be rest assured that I will do something about it. However, I wish to let you know that such products have to be registered and examined by NAFDAC before bringing it into the country, but am assuring you that it will work out. I am still waiting to receive the response the security company will give you, please forward to me immediately.

Have a great day, and God bless you and your family,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: NAFCAC?

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 12:06:37

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. What is "NAFCAC"? I have not heard of it. Presumably it is some kind of governmental food regulatory organisation? I'm never too keen to have people examine the contents of our products too closely, to tell the truth.

However, if it's absolutely necessary, we would be able to produce some "clean" samples to send on to the agency for testing purposes. This is an approach we have used in a number of countries in which regulations are more lax than they are in the European Union.

Alternatively, we often find that the appropriate food safety officials can be "persuaded" to pass our products without testing them too closely. The odd brown envelope here and there often helps to oil the wheels, if you know what I mean. Common practice in many countries. I am sure that Nigeria will be no different. Perhaps your chicken expert could find out which palms it would be most beneficial for us to grease within NAFCAC?

I really do appreciate your help in this matter, my friend. I feel confident that our relationship will be mutually beneficial, and extremely profitable.

I am conducting interviews all afternoon, trying to find a replacement for the Production Manager I had to sack after the mass food poisoning incident at the International Poultry Product Convention. There look to be some promising candidates. Hopefully I will be able to find someone with a bit more common sense than Don Caster, and who is able to tell their parson's nose from their wing.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: APPOINTMENT BOOKED

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 20:56:32 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Gilbert Murray,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail regarding your arrival in Madrid. We do not have any problem regarding your coming with your personal assistant, our duty is to ensure that you receive the best of attention during your stay in Madrid and to have a successful business transaction with you.

Having said that, there is no more requirement we will need from you regarding the documents which I earlier informed you, as we have the needed documents from the scanned copies you sent to us. It has been printed and filed accordingly, what we need from you now is the charges which you will pay in cash in our office upon your arrival in Madrid as informed in my previous mail to you.

Please, I will have to enquire and send you a suitable hotel information as you requested for you to make your reservation before your arrival. I will be sending you the information by tomorrow.

As agreed, you will be picked from the airport upon your arrival to our office by our driver as an appointment has been booked for you on that date. However, it's important that you reconfirm your direct line or cell number to enable us communicate with you before your arrival. Alternatively, you can call us on this number: 0034 686 358 621, for further conclusion of your arrangements towards your arrival.

Regards,

Francis Morra

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: NAFCAC?

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 19:16:32 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thanks for your mail again today. I mean NAFDAC (National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control) in Nigeria. You have to produce a very clean sample to beat their examination. I also believe that this is the best business relationship I have had, and I believe God it will be of great mutual benefit. Please take your time, to arrange for the samples and also see what you can do about Don Caster.

Thank you, and do please respond always,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: My visit to Madrid

Sent: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 11:03:37

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email. I am pleased to hear that everything is in order for my trip to Madrid. Now that the relevant paperwork is in order, I will ensure that I bring the required fee in Euros.

Thank you for looking into the hotel situation for me - your assistance is very much appreciated. Once you have found a suitable hotel, would it be possible for you to book a room for myself and Miss Valley? For the sake of appearances (Mrs Murray sometimes gets a little suspicious), we will need two separate rooms: one for myself and one for Miss Valley. However, we would like a pair of interconnecting rooms if at all possible. This will enable us to conduct our affairs with the minimum of fuss. For example, I may wish to dictate a letter in the hotel in the evening, and with interconnecting rooms it will be far easier for Miss Valley to pop into my room and take things down for me.

Regarding your driver at the airport, how will I recognise the man? Presumably he will be holding a sign with my name prominently displayed on it? Please confirm.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: My visit to Madrid next Wednesday

Sent: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 11:05:32

Dear Chief Sanusi,

A quick email to let you know that everything is in hand for my visit to Madrid next Wednesday. All the paperwork is now in order and I have arranged with Mr Morra that I will bring the required fee in cash with me. Mr Morra has very helpfully agreed to arrange two hotel rooms for Miss Valley and myself.

You will be pleased to hear that the interviews went well yesterday and that I have found a suitable replacement for the post of Production Manager.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I am glad

Sent: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 10:51:06 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thank you so much for your message today, the message was received in good health. I am very happy to see the way you are handling things, please keep it up and more grease to your elbow. Please can you get them some nice gift items to entice them more of their assistance? If you can, please try, because it is the best way to show appreciation and friendly. Please don't forget to give me your hotel room telephone number as soon as you arrive in Spain, I want to be communicating with you. I am also glad that you have found a new Production Manager.

Thanking you once again for your support and efforts so far.

My warmest regards to you and your family, including your assistant.

Your friend,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: HOTEL INFORMATION

Sent: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 16:15:01 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

Find below the hotel information you requested:

Mayorazgo Hotel

Telephone: 0034 915 472600

Toll-free: 1-800-950-1363

I will advise you to call and make the reservation so that you can inform them exactly the type of room you want as I will be very busy most part of today. This hotel is a four star hotel and I believe you will be comfortable there.

Are you coming along with your wife, that could make her suspicious in your dealings with Miss Valley (just curious)?

The driver will hold a sign with your name written on it for identification. Please, it's important if you call before boarding your flight to ensure the driver meets up with the time to pick you.

Regards,

Francis Morra

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Things are progressing nicely

Sent: Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:09:41

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I think your suggestion that I should take along a few nice gifts for the officers at the security company is an excellent one. I shall get Miss Valley to collect a good selection of our chicken-based products and take it along with me wrapped in a nice wicker hamper. I am sure they will be delighted with this.

I will keep you fully informed of our progress.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Re: HOTEL INFORMATION

Sent: Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:20

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email and for recommending the hotel. I will ask Miss Valley to contact them tomorrow morning and book us a room if it turns out to be suitable. I appreciate your help.

Regarding your question about my wife, I will certainly not be bringing her along with me on this trip. The only person I intend to come with on this trip is Miss Valley.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. At the suggestion of a good friend of mine, I will be bringing along a few small gifts for you to show my appreciation. I take it you are not a vegetarian?

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: My suggestion, please write promptly

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 08:45:24 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

How are you and family today? I hope you had a wonderful Sunday. I received your mail with thanks, I am glad that you can arrange the gift from your chicken based products, that's lovely. But may I suggest that you add something like 2 laptop computer notebooks and wrist watches if you have the means, but if you don't then no problem, you can give them what you can afford. Are you communicating with them? And have they made the reservation for you? Please keep updating me.

Greetings from my wife to you and your family. And I send you my warmest regards.

Your friend,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Regarding the hotel you recommended

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 10:14:31

Dear Mr Morra,

Regarding the hotel you recommended to me, the Mayorazgo. Miss Valley contacted the hotel this morning as instructed, but unfortunately this establishment is unsuitable for our needs, as they do they not have any interconnecting rooms available. Could you please recommend an alternative to me?

On a more positive note, I have instructed Miss Valley to travel into town this afternoon and withdraw the 17,650.70 in Euros from a business bank account. I shall keep the money in my personal safe until we leave for Madrid on Wednesday morning.

I am so looking forward to meeting you on Wednesday.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Regarding Wednesday - please advise

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 10:18:52

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email, and for your suggestions about what gifts to bring along for the security company officials. However, I doubt that they will not have any use for laptop computers or wrist watches - surely they will already have items like these? I always find that the best gifts are more unusual items - ones where the giver has obviously put some thought into what to give.

With this in mind, I think a selection of our finest chicken products will make an admirable gift. Trust me - I will ensure that Miss Valley only selects the finest products from our range, and ones that are not available in Spain. And I shall get her to package them wonderfully in a fine wicker basket, maybe with a couple of jars of local greengage chutney as an extra treat - this is a local delicacy.

Regarding Wednesday, you will be pleased to hear that everything is set. Miss Valley is travelling into town this afternoon to withdraw the security company's fee from the bank, and we have made arrangements for one of Mr Morra's men to meet us at the airport on our arrival in Madrid. We are still trying to find a suitable hotel, but I am sure that we will find one today.

What I need from you now is more information on the consignment I will be collecting from the security company. Is it a large box? How heavy is it? Will I be able to manage it on my own, or will I need assistance? I used to be an amateur boxer in my youth and still work out regularly, so I am reasonably fit - do you think I will be able to manhandle it into a taxi myself?

Obviously, I do not want to be walking around the streets of Madrid with 45 million dollars in cash for very long. I have been in touch with my bankers, Bartletts of Lincoln, and asked about how best to pay a large amount of money into a bank account while in Spain. They have suggested that I will be able to pay the money into my own bank account via a Spanish bank with which they have an arrangement. I trust that this will be acceptable to you. I think the sooner we get this money deposited in a bank, the better. Once the money is safely deposited, we can make arrangements to share out the loot, as it were.

What are you planning to do with your share of the money, if you don't mind me asking? As well as using my share to finance the new pheasant plucking facility at the factory, I have my eye on a new Aston Martin - I feel that they have a touch more class than the Jaguar I drive at the moment. I shall of course be purchasing something nice for Miss Valley - I fancy giving her a pearl necklace - and I may purchase a new ironing board or something for the wife.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Go ahead

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 10:24:53 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thank you for your messages, the points you made therein are just wonderful points. You are right, they may have had as many laptops and wristwatches as they can, but I was just trying to suggest something more valuable. Your chicken based products will be wonderfully OK as well, please package it very well as you had indicated.

Meanwhile, I want to let you know that the box is heavy, about 75kg. You will need assistance from the security company, though I had also appeal to them in the letter of authorisation that they should assist you convey the box to your hotel room. So they may hire a bullion van and attach with a security and convey it to you. Please don't bother so much as they will assist you, that is why I had always ask you to be more friendlier. Please against all, you should please keep it very confidential while you are in Spain to avoid risking the money and even your lives because of men of the under world.

The security company can also help you establish a bank account with any of the banks in Spain as I had advised earlier from the initial time we started. From this newly established account you can transfer to your destination bank account, thereby informing your bankers. Please and please, my dear friend, handle with care. After opening the account, then you shall lodge in the money in bits.

As per my share, you need to keep it for me in your account, you are free to invest it in your company and inform me of my profit, it is my profit from the investment that I would want you to send to me periodically. I will also be pleased to know when the money will be available for me after the investment. For now, I don't think there is any cause for me to make use of my share. I am still targeting of one more deal before end of the year. Likely, I may need the shares next year, possibly after my retirement from government service.

Please keep the good work going, the sky will not only be our limit.

And do please keep me updated, I will like to have the hotel room number and the telephone number as soon as you make the reservation. What has Mr Morra done about the reservation?

Please my dear, keep this transaction very confidential, even the hotel you are staying should not know, please you have to do that for security reasons.

Thank you, and awaiting your response,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Thank you for the information

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 12:32:39

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear that the security company will be able to provide me with some assistance with transporting the consignment. I will make sure that I tip them handsomely for their help. Thank you also for your advice on how best to deposit the consignment into a bank account. I will do as you suggest.

Regarding your share of the money, although I would be more than happy to invest it in my own business, I would not presume to invest it in anything without your express consent. I therefore propose to leave your share completely untouched in a high-interest bank account. We can then discuss exactly what you want to do with the money at a time convenient to you. If you subsequently decide that you would like to invest some of the money in Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd, I am sure that we will be able to arrange something.

You mentioned "men of the under world" in your email. Sorry, but I do not know what you mean by this. Do you mean dwarves? Do they have them in Spain? Why on earth should they present me with a problem? I am confused - please explain.

Regarding the hotel, Mr Morra is currently trying to find a suitable one for me, as the one he originally suggested turned out to be unsuitable.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Thank you for the information

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 11:57:38 +0000

Hello my dear,

Thank you so much for your quick response. I meant armed robbers, though I don't know how it is in Europe, but in Africa here, it is not a new thing. One is always alert because of them, but I believe the security in Europe is not something to worry about.

Concerning my share, I am pleased to read what you have just indicated to do. But willingly I would want to invest in your company since you are expanding to West Africa under my auspices. I hope we shall talk more on that on your visit here because I want to invite you and your family to Nigeria this Xmas. What do you think? Or do you want me to come first? Please advise. To me you should come with even some of your staffs to enable us commence research for the new establishment. I shall take you around to a project site where I have in mind for the location of the company.

Thank you so much, please do write promptly but I may not read your mail again till in the night. Right now I have a closed door meeting with some delegates from the presidency. I will definitely attend to your mail later in the night.

Till then, have a wonderful day.

Your friend,

Chief Joseph Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Thank you for your kind invitation

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 13:49:09

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. Of course, I see what you mean by "men of the under world" now. You must excuse me: I took my son Gilbert Jnr to the cinema this weekend to see The Lord of the Rings (more his kind of film than mine) so when you mentioned the under world I naturally thought of dwarves. Anyway, do not worry. I shall make sure that Miss Valley and I act with the utmost discretion when in Spain.

I must thank you for your kind invitation to visit you at Christmas. I would be absolutely delighted to come and see your fine country. I am also pleased to hear that you have a site in mind for a chicken processing plant. This is marvellous news - your Nigerian chicken expert must have been busy. I must say that rather than come with the family, I would prefer to make this "officially" a business trip, enabling me to travel with my dear colleague Miss Valley. She really is a delightful woman and her presence always helps to relieve the stresses and strains of my business trips. I am sure that you will like her.

I am rather busy this afternoon and tomorrow, so maybe we could make all necessary arrangements following my return from Madrid?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: HOTEL VILLA REAL

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 14:36:07 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

This is the information of the hotel. I feel it will have what you need. It is a five star hotel and you can make reservation online.

The name of the hotel is Hotel Villa Real Madrid, Plaza de Cortes 10, Madrid, 28014. Spain

Telephone: O0034 914 20 - 3767

Fax: 0034 914 20 25 47

To make a reservation online, please log in on www.holidaycityeurope.com. You will see "Select country", you choose Spain, the next step is Madrid, then you log in on Madrid centre, the hotel is the second listed, then you can pay directly with your credit card information.

Please, there is every need to communicate with us through phone before leaving, to enable us to schedule our driver to be there. You know he has other duties to perform, so your reconfirmation of your exact time of arrival is of utmost importance.

We await your arrival on Wednesday. Please confirm to us immediately if the hotel is suitable for you.

Regards,

Morra Francis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Thank you

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 13:57:02

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for suggesting a second hotel. I shall pass the information straight onto my PA, Miss Valley, and ask her to investigate this establishment further.

May I say how much I appreciate your help in these matters. Miss Valley and I are both looking forward to making your acquaintance on Wednesday so that we can thank you in person.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Awaiting your response

Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 18:59:40 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks you mail this evening. I will be pleased to welcome you and your dear colleague Miss Valley this Xmas. Hopefully we shall talk and arrange on that on your return from Spain. Meanwhile, I want you to ask Mr Morra to arrange for a bullion van for you, and I want you to finalise about the reservation first thing tomorrow and do have the hotel room and telephone number sent to me. I want you to hold Mr Morra friendly and in confidence before you leave, he will give you the best assistance. Please give him a call tomorrow.

Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.

My warmest regards to you and your family,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: The bullion van

Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 10:46:32

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I am extremely busy today, but I will do as you suggest regarding the bullion van etc. This is quite an exciting time - I feel that all our work is coming together. I am so looking forward to tomorrow.

I will keep you fully informed of developments.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Please arrange a bullion van

Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 10:51:06

Dear Mr Morra,

I gather that the consignment I am going to collect tomorrow is rather large and extremely heavy. Because of this, and because of the valuables it contains, I would appreciate it if you could arrange a bullion van for tomorrow, and would be extremely grateful for any assistance you and your men could give me in transporting the consignment from your offices.

Just to confirm flight details with you, Miss Valley and I will be arriving in Madrid on flight BA1792, which leaves Birmingham at 10.15 and arrives in Madrid at 13:40. Allowing us some time to collect our luggage, please advise your driver to be in the Arrivals Hall to meet us at 14:00. I trust this will not interfere with his siesta too much. Miss Valley is arranging the hotel this morning.

We both look forward to meeting you tomorrow.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: The bullion van

Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 10:48:39 +0000

What about the hotel reservation? Are you not doing anything about that? Please let me know.

Thank you,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Hotels

Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 12:59:39

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. Rhondda Valley has been attempting to arrange a hotel for us on the telephone this morning, but unfortunately the hotel that Mr Morra suggested also turned out to be unsuitable, due to a lack of interconnecting rooms. Miss Valley is currently trying to arrange an alternative hotel that has interconnecting rooms, but is struggling somewhat due to the language barrier.

No matter. If Miss Valley cannot find a suitable hotel by the end of the afternoon, we will simply resign ourselves to not having interconnecting rooms and put ourselves up in one of the hotels suggested by Mr Morra. Both hotels have plenty of rooms free, so we will be able to turn up and book rooms on the spot when we arrive tomorrow.

I must go. I am about to start a long meeting with my R&D Manager about the products we are hoping to produce in our new pheasant plucking facility.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Please arrange a bullion van

Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 18:31:49 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

There is no problem about the bullion van transporting your consignment. I'm looking forward to meeting you also. As you are arriving during break time, the driver will pick you up from the airport straight to our office and from there, you will be taken to take delivery of your consignment. I will be waiting to receive you in the office. You need not to bother about anything.

Please remember to come along with the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation given to you by Chief Sanusi.

I hope Miss Valley has been able to make the hotel reservation.

Regards,

Francis Morra

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Please give me phone number

Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 19:33:17 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks your mail this afternoon. I understood that you are not able to make the reservation yet, no problem. When you get there you can choose one suitable for you. Please my dear, I want you to email me before you take off tomorrow, and as soon as you check in to the hotel in Madrid please give me a call as I will be on the phone all through tomorrow to be discussing with you. Call me on this line: 234-1-4814180. Also give me the hotel telephone number so that I can call you. Please, I want us to talk.

Meanwhile, I feel comfortable now to leave you with the box number, the number that you can use to open the box: 1234. In case they want to check it, please open it. As I am drawing Mr Morra to confidence, I will also send him the number. What do you suggest? Please write me before you board the plane.

Thanking you, and wishing you safe journey.

Your friend,

Chief Sansui (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: A quick note before I board the plane

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 09:13:38

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email and for arranging the bullion van. I am most obliged to you.

Miss Valley and I are now at Birmingham Airport, waiting for our flight to board. We have everything we need with us - a printed copy of the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation, and your fee in Euros.

I shall look out for your man in the Arrivals Hall at Madrid airport, and look forward to meeting you at your offices this afternoon.

I must go now and see how much damage Miss Valley is doing to the company credit card in the Perfume Shop.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: A quick note

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 09:21:41

Dear Chief Sanusi,

A quick note while Miss Valley and I wait in the departure lounge for our plane to board. Thank you for the email you sent last night, which I have just read, and thank you for sending me the number of the safety deposit box.

Everything is in hand with Mr Morra, who is sending a man to meet us at Madrid airport. He will take us directly to the offices of the security company, where we can conduct our business. Miss Valley and I will then retire to a hotel (we did not manage to find one with interconnecting rooms yesterday, but never mind). I will give you a call as soon as we get to the hotel and let you know how things went. I would imagine that will be sometime later this afternoon - obviously we will have to deposit the contents of the safety deposit box before we go to the hotel.

I look forward to talking to you later.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: A quick note

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 08:37:51 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thank you so much. I had been on computer since morning waiting to read your confirmation that you are boarding your flight. I am waiting eagerly for your call, or email me if possible.

May the Almighty God in his infinite mercy grant your journey mercy.

Thank you.

Your friend,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra; Cc: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Where is your man?

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 13:41:54

Dear Mr Morra,

What is going on? I am sitting here in Madrid airport with Miss Valley and there appears to be nobody here to meet us.

Unfortunately we were delayed for a while by Customs after we got off the plane. They have impounded the hamper containing the chicken products that I had brought over as a gift for you. Apparently it is illegal to bring meat-based foodstuffs into the country. I suppose it is possible that your man left the airport while we were being interrogated by Customs, thinking Miss Valley and I had missed our flight. Or did he go to the wrong terminal?

I have tried to telephone you, but cannot get through using the number you have me. I am not sure if I am using the correct dialling code.

Whatever the reason for the mishap, could you please send your man back to the airport as soon as you receive this email? Miss Valley and will be waiting in lounge number 2 in Terminal 1. I do not feel comfortable hanging around an airport with such a large amount of money in my briefcase.

I am most disappointed by this turn of events, and I am not used to having my time wasted in this way. Time is money. Please send your man to collect us immediately.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra; Cc: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: What is going on here?

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 15:24:07

Dear Mr Morra,

I would like you to explain to me why you have not sent a man to collect me from the airport, as you promised to do. Miss Valley and I have been sitting here like lemons for hours now. We have had enough and we are not prepared to wait any longer for your man. Perhaps he is too busy taking his siesta to come and collect us? And perhaps you are too busy taking your siesta to reply to my emails?

We are about the leave the airport. We will be getting a taxi and booking ourselves into the Hotel Villa Magna. Due to your failure to collect us, it is probably too late in the day for us to conclude our business today. Therefore, kindly send a man to meet Miss Valley and I at the Hotel Villa Magna at 9am sharp tomorrow morning. I trust that we will be able to carry out our business then, hopefully with a deal more competence than your organisation has shown today.

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Please bring your influence to bear here

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 15:26:52

Dear Chief Sanusi,

By now you will no doubt have read the email I have just sent to the incompetent Mr Morra. I don't know what sort of game he is playing, but my time is valuable and I will not have it wasted by a delinquent security guard.

Please bring into play whatever influence you have to bear in this matter, and get the man Morra to get off his Iberian arse and start working.

If there is one thing I will not put up with, it is incompetence. Yet Morra seems to have that by the spadeful.

I am not at all happy with this situation. Does Morra not appreciate the importance of this business?

I look forward to hearing from you. I am about to leave with Miss Valley for the hotel.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: What is happening?

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 14:27:02 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Please see if you can check in to the hotel they recommended for you, while I will try to call them and let them know that you are there. They had called me now telling me that they saw nobody like you and that your name did not appear in the manifesto. I hope they are mistaken? Or are you the joker? If you are not, what stops you from dialling my number, 234-1-4814180?

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: How dare you?

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 15:38:52

Sanusi,

I was about to log off from the internet in the airport and make my way to the hotel when I received your email.

How dare you accuse me of being a joker? I have travelled all the way to Spain to conduct this business, for your benefit and mine. I do not appreciate being messed about in the way that Mr Morra seems to be doing, and I do not appreciate being insulted, especially by a business partner. Why the hell would I travel to Spain for a "joke"?

So Morra is telling you that he sent someone to collect Miss Valley and I? I can see that perhaps our delay in Customs may not have helped matters, but the man obviously did not hang around long enough for us to emerge from our questioning. As for stating that our names did not appear in the manifest, that is simply absurd. This begs the question to me of whether the man actually turned up to the airport at all.

I am now going to make my way to the hotel with Miss Valley. I am not in a good mood and I need a stiff gin. Hopefully Morra's men will be able to make contact with me there. Otherwise I am starting to wonder whether I am wasting my time here.

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Thank you

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 14:42:19 +0000

I know you have received my mail, please answer me. Why can't you finalise the business today? You can't call me? I am not seeing anything serious from what you are saying. Obviously, you did not travel. I know whom you are.

Thank you,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Re: Thank you

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 15:48:30

Sanusi,

Regarding your mail.

I have sent you replies by email.
I cannot finalise the business today because after a long day, which largely consisted of hanging around waiting for Morra's men who never showed up, both Miss Valley and I are tired.
What on earth are you on about, saying that you cannot see any seriousness in me? Get a grip, man.
Yes, you do know who I am. Why on earth do you need to state this?

Have you had a liquid lunch, sir? I hope it does not turn out that I have been wasting my time with a bunch of incompetent gibbons.

For god's sake, let's try to salvage something from this wreckage. There is a lot of money at stake. Get Morra to contact me at the hotel as arranged.

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: IT'S UNFORTUNATE

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 17:08:03 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

It's unfortunate this thing happened like this. I sent our driver along with our office boy to pick you at the airport as I agreed with you. They waited for you at the airport between 1:30 and 3:30. They asked information and they were told that every passenger aboard the airline you came with had all gone, so they came back to the office. Personally, I was very upset because I felt you could at least call to tell us what the problem was.

However, please call me on this number, 686 358 621, just dial it as it is, since you are already here in Spain. I'm sorry for the inconveniences you encountered at the airport and that was the reason why the driver could not see you because he had your name written on a placard waiting for you at the arrivals just as I instructed him.

There is nothing again we can do today because the vault is inaccessible after 5pm, so I will have to try to reschedule an appointment for you again tomorrow. Please note that our kind of job is mainly field work so that was why I could not respond to your mail on time. I just saw it now that I came into the office after waiting throughout the lunch break.

Please note it is not our fault the driver could not see you. It has nothing to do with our competence or incompetence.

Regards,

Francis Morra

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra; Cc: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Thank you for your email

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 16:22:42

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email. I have been hanging on at the airport waiting for a response. As you say, it is unfortunate that things have turned out like this today. Hopefully things will turn out better tomorrow.

I am now tired, hungry and fed up. Miss Valley and I are going to make our way to the hotel and freshen up.

As I said in a previous email, please send a man to the hotel (the Hotel Villa Magna) at 9am sharp tomorrow morning, and we will start off afresh with a clean sheet of paper, as it were.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: CALL ME

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 17:27:34 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

I tried calling the hotel but I got another Mr Christopher Murray, obviously you've not gotten to the hotel yet. Please note that we attend to our clients based on appointments so I will have to reschedule an appointment for you tomorrow depending on our schedule, so I'm not guaranteeing on 9am as you are suggesting, but definitely, everything will be OK by tomorrow.

Mr Murray, do you have anything against the telephone? Please call me for clearer clarification as soon as you get to your hotel.

Regards,

Francis Morra

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: I have tried to call you

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 17:21:03

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email, which I have just received on my laptop in my hotel room.

You have recommended an excellent hotel, if I may say so. It seems to have all the facilities I could wish for, and looks extremely comfortable. May I express my thanks to you. The only downside is that the hotel did not have interconnecting rooms available. Rather than put up with the inconvenience of having two rooms far apart, Miss Valley and I have booked ourselves into the same room.

To get around the potential problem of Mrs Murray noticing this on the hotel invoice when we return (she can be rather suspicious), we have booked into the hotel using assumed names - those of my Sales Manager and his wife. This means that I will not have to explain the double room to my wife. An excellent solution to the problem, I am sure you will agree.

I have just tried calling you, but could not get through - I am assuming that as it is after 5 o'clock, I am too late to reach you today. Never mind. Miss Valley and I shall spend the evening relaxing and will be refreshed and ready to do business with you first thing tomorrow morning.

Tell your man to meet us in the lobby at 9am sharp tomorrow. I shall be wearing a black business suit, Miss Valley will be wearing a beige business outfit.

I shall sign off for the evening now, and devote myself to some well-earned rest and relaxation.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I have tried to call you

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 19:18:46 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

I don't understand what you mean by you tried calling me? What number did you call, was the number not going through or what? I have tried calling you and the hotel told me there is no such name and you used your Sales Manager's name, so how did the hotel allow you to lodge without your passport? Isn't it funny?

Mr Murray, no matter what happens, you will need to call me and speak with me before I will be ready to do anything with you. I told you in my last mail that an appointment for 9am tomorrow cannot be possible simply because we do have other commitments and clients to attend to and I told you that I will try to fix appointment in between time to accommodate your programme. Every client we attend to is strictly on appointment and we do not go contrary to that.

Please inform me the exact hotel where you are staying as I have called the hotel I gave you the information and was told there is no such name as yours, and also the room number with the name you used in lodging, or better you call me as I will like to speak with you to explain certain things to you.

If you do not call me, I'm afraid nobody will be ready to attend to you, maybe you are here for another purpose.

Francis Morra

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I am worried, you have not called me

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 18:35:27 +0000

Hello my dear,

Please disregard my last mail, I am sorry that I had to sound that way because I was upset. I can feel difficulty and pains you are passing through for the failure to meet up with Mr Morra's people that came to meet you at the airport. Please, I am very sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, please take it because am your friend. I hope by now you have already met with Mr Morra, have you?

If it is possible for you, please try and call me, I am waiting for your call: 234-1-4814180.

Thank you,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Thank you

Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2003 19:42:00 +0000

You seem to be confusing the situation. You had checked in the hotel, up till now you are not able to give me a call. How is it difficult for you to send me the hotel room and telephone number? How does it sound to you?

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: How dare you?

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 07:51:49 +0000

Where is the hotel room number and telephone number? You think you are on the right track? I know you, no need wasting your time.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Regarding our business

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 08:52:37

Dear Mr Morra,

I have just read the email you sent to me yesterday evening. I have to say, I am confused. This should be a simple enough business, and yet you seem to want to complicate things.

I tried calling the number you gave me again this morning, and yet again I could not get through. Perhaps I was too early this time, or perhaps you were out of the office again? To be perfectly honest, I am getting a little tired of phoning you and not getting through.

No matter. Miss Valley and I have had a most relaxing night at the hotel, and I am now fully refreshed after the fiascos of yesterday and ready to conduct our business.

I understand from your email that 9am is not good for you today. Very well. I suggest that instead of that, you send your man to collect Miss Valley and I at 1pm from the lobby of the hotel. We shall spend the morning sight-seeing in this fine city. I trust that this will be satisfactory.

I look forward to seeing you later today. I will be waiting for your man at 1 o'clock.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Everything is in hand

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 08:58:37

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I have to say, I am confused by your emails. I have just logged on at the hotel and received a number of them, and I am not really sure what you are getting at.

Anyway, please do not worry yourself. Everything is sorted out with Mr Morra, and we should be able to conduct our business today. He is sending a man to collect Miss Valley and I at 1pm from the hotel lobby. I will contact you as soon as we have successfully completed our business.

As Mr Morra is apparently otherwise engaged this morning, Miss Valley and I are about to leave the hotel and spend the morning sightseeing in this marvellous city.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Everything is in hand

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 08:03:47 +0000

You should be sure of what am getting at. Where is there hotel room number and the telephone number? Even if the hotel is located in a typical village, they supposed to have telephone numbers to reach their customers. I hate dummys!!

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Are you feeling alright?

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 10:09:29

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Miss Valley and I are taking a break from our sightseeing and are enjoying an espresso in a small internet caf . I have just read your last email.

Are you feeling alright, my friend? Do you have a temperature? I am finding your emails most confusing. I cannot understand what you are talking about, and at times you appear to be delirious. You seem to be in a confused state of mind. You are certainly not talking in the manner I would expect from the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria.

Are you at work at the moment? If so, I suggest that you take the rest of the day off, my good friend. You do not sound well at all. Take my advice: go home and lie down in a darkened room with a cool damp towel over your forehead. You will certainly be doing yourself no favours if you stay at work in your current state.

Miss Valley and I have just enjoyed an excellent morning's sightseeing. Madrid is a particularly picturesque city. We have seen some small vignettes of typical Spanish life: toreadors walking the streets in their colourful costumes, old women dressed all in black fingering their rosary beads on their way to the church, and a group of small children idly torturing a donkey with sharp sticks. Spain is a marvellous country. I even noticed a chicken processing factory.

Please do not worry yourself, Chief. Everything will be alright.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Are you feeling alright?

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 09:40:49 +0000

I feel more better than you would imagine. I should ask you. Dummy.

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Regarding our business

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 13:26:44 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

Give me the number of the hotel you are staying in, your room number, the name you used in lodging, and I will personally come to see you.

Let me make this clear this time, you are the one complicating this whole thing by refusing to disclose where you are and refusing to call me. Your excuse of calling and not getting through is lies and you know it. We are not here to waste our time. Please, either you give me this information or you call me, but note this will be my last mail to you.

Francis Morra

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: How dare you speak to me like that?

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 12:49:47

Dear Mr Morra,

I am in receipt of your email. I am shocked by the manner in which you speak to me. How dare you accuse me of lying? I have tried to call you on a number of occasions and have been unable to get through to you. When I do get through to someone, I have not been able to understand what the Spanish person on the other end of the line is saying. On each occasion I have had to hang up.

Goats and monkeys, man, you know where I am. However, let me spell it out for you once again. I am currently waiting in the lounge bar of the Hotel Villa Magna, waiting for your man to arrive. Your email would explain why he has not yet turned up.

I assume that you know the telephone number of the hotel. In case you do not, Maria on the desk informs me that it is +34 91 420 3767. As I have already explained to you, Miss Valley and I booked into the hotel using assumed names (those of my Dutch-born Sales Manager and his wife) to avoid Mrs Murray discovering that Miss Valley and I shared a room. Therefore, the hotel knows me as Mr Hertz Van Roentle.

For god's sake, man, this is important business and I am sick and tired of being messed about. Send a man to meet me immediately, or you can forget this whole business.

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: You should definitely go and lie down

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 12:51:10

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I am now back at the hotel with Miss Valley, waiting in the lounge for Mr Morra's man to arrive. He has not yet arrived.

I have just read your email. I am most confused. To what do I owe this tirade of abuse from you? This is not the way to speak to a business partner. I can only assume that you are not at all well. Please see a doctor, my friend.

I have tried to telephone you a number of times but have been unable to get through, and I cannot make head nor tail of the Spanish voice on the end of the phone that I get when the telephone fails to connect.

Therefore I would be grateful if you could call me at the hotel. As I explained to Mr Morra, Miss Valley and I booked into the hotel using assumed names (those of my Dutch-born Sales Manager and his wife) to avoid Mrs Murray discovering that Miss Valley and I shared a room. Therefore, the hotel knows me as Mr Hertz Van Roentle. Please call as soon as you can on +34 91 420 3767. Tell the delightful Maria on reception that you wish to speak to me and that I am currently sitting in the hotel lounge. She will be able to put a call out for me.

Please call me immediately. I fear that things are in danger of falling apart here if we do not sort them out, and it is in both our interests for this transaction to succeed.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: How dare you speak to me like that?

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 14:56:26 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Murray,

You have reduced your business transaction in Madrid to a child's play, if actually you are here in Madrid. I made a reservation for you in hotel Villareal, but you said you are in Hotel Villa Magna, but the telephone number you gave me is that of Hotel Villareal, but still I called Hotel Villa Magna and they told me there is no name as your Dutch name in their hotel. More so, I guess your room must have a number. Could give me your room number? This is the number of the hotel you are staying: 915871234, and not 914 203767 you gave me.

The number you claim you called and someone spoke Spanish is my cell number and I speak perfect English. I had looked forward to meeting you but now I know you are playing games with Chief Sanusi and I will call him to let me know the games you are playing with him as he is a reputable man occupying a very sensitive position, so he does not need to do any transaction with someone like you who is not straight.

Francis Morra

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Apologies for the confusion

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 14:26:21

Dear Mr Morra,

Please accept my sincere apologies for the confusion. You are of course correct. I have got my hotels confused. I had thought that Miss Valley and I were staying at the Hotel Villa Magna, but as you have pointed out, we are actually staying at the Hotel Villa Real.

I am deeply sorry for the confusion that this has caused, but with the names of the hotels being so similar, surely you can understand how I have got them mixed up?

As for not being able to get you on your mobile telephone, are you sure you have given me the correct number?

At least Maria at the reception desk gave me the correct number: the number for the Hotel Villa Real. Miss Valley and I are staying in room 419 - a room that affords splendid views across the city - and as I told you, are booked in as Mr and Mrs Hertz Van Roentle. Miss Valley and I are still waiting in the lounge bar right next to reception.

I have just spoken to Maria at the front desk and told her that I am expecting a call from a Mr Morra. Please call me at the Hotel Villa Real immediately, and Maria will come and get me as soon as she receives your call.

We need to get this sorted out. Once more, please accept my sincere apologies for any confusion I have caused. I am waiting for your call.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I understand what you are saying about Chief Sanusi. I appreciate that the man is in a very high-powered position. On top of this, the man does not appear to be very well today. But it is in my interest, as well as Chief Sanusi's, for this transaction to succeed. "Playing games" is the last thing on my mind. I am a businessman.

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Apologies for the confusion

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 16:23:01 +0200 (CEST)

Mr Murray,

There is no Maria working at the reception, the occupant of room 419 is one Mr Robert, and my number is 686 358 621.

Francis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: You must be mistaken

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 15:46:02

Dear Mr Morra,

You are mistaken. You must be calling the wrong hotel again.

I cannot believe that it can be so difficult to get in touch with me.

I have to say, you have handled this thing poorly from start to finish. Is this just one big joke to you? I am trying to conduct a very important transaction with the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, but you do not seem to be taking this seriously at all.

I have never come across such incompetence before in my life. It is a wonder you manage to put your trousers on in the morning without falling over. Or perhaps you do not.

Is there somebody else in your organisation I can deal with? I am starting to wonder whether the office manager is off sick at the moment and I have been dealing with the tea boy.

Kindly pass onto me the details of someone else in your organisation who will be able to handle matters properly, without running about like a headless chicken as you seem to have been doing.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi: Cc: Francis Morra

Subject: Choose your business partners with care

Sent: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 17:02:32

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I am sorry to have to say that as a result of Mr Morra's incompetence, this entire business seems to have fallen through. I have never come across such an appallingly slack-handed company before. It is amazing they are still in business. Morra and his men cannot keep pre-booked appointments, and seem incapable of using the telephone. I have absolutely no confidence in these people whatsoever.

Therefore, I am afraid that I have no choice but to pack my bags and head back to Gypping in the Marsh with Miss Valley. At least we managed to fit in a bit of sightseeing: our trip was not entirely wasted.

In all seriousness, I would advise you to choose your business partners with more care in the future. I do not think you could have entrusted your valuables to a worse security company. Take a tip from me: do your research thoroughly before you enter into a business relationship. Then you will hopefully avoid getting into bed with bungling buffoons like Morra.

However, although this business has come to nothing, I see no reason at all why our plans for a chicken processing plant in Nigeria should not go ahead. How is your Nigerian chicken expert coming along with his research?

And Miss Valley and I are still very much looking forward to visiting you and your family this Christmas. Given the business I am in, I would consider it an honour if you would let me provide the turkey. Or are you more of a goose man? I see you as a turkey myself.

Best regards

Gilbert Murray