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Home - The Chronicles - The Adult Video Director The Adult Video DirectorIn which the daughter of the late ex-Vice President of Liberia contacts Gilbert for his assistance in investing $12 million in a "reliable genuine trade or company". What better company could there be than Gilbert's adult video business? The scammer's tale of woe gives Gilbert inspiration for a new adult video production... but will the scammer be willing to accept the starring role that Gilbert offers to her? Cast of characters
From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: TRUST Sent: Wed, 16 Feb 2005 02:56:51 +0200 Dear friend, I am Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor, 25 years, the daughter of the former Liberian Vice President, Jomal Wiwoor. I have in my possession the sum of twelve million United States dollars ($12,000,000), and the top list of my priority is where to invest this money outside my country. I urgently need your assistance in providing a reliable genuine trade or company where I can invest the fund and immediately meet you in your country for settlement. Please, I will kindly welcome your advice too. I am expecting your urgent mail response. I need your support and seriousness. I am presently on exile in Freetown, Sierra Leone with my brother Okriko Wiwoor after the United States asked my father to resign with the then President of Liberia, Mr Charles Taylor. My father is late and mother on a self exile in one of the West African countries. Alternative email addresses: lisawiwoor1@excite.com, lisawiwoor1@yahoo.com Regards, Your friend, Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor Freetown Refugees Camp, Sierra Leone From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Regarding your interesting email Sent: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 12:04:28 Dear Miss Wiwoor, I have just read the most interesting email that you sent me just over a week ago. I must apologise for the delay in getting back to you, but I have been working away in Holland on business and I have only just had chance to go through my emails. You say you have $12 million to invest in a reliable, genuine trade or company? Well, you may just have contacted the right person. I run my own video production company. We specialise in the adult end of the market. The company has proved to be extremely successful, and I am currently looking for an investor to join me in a partnership and provide the funding we require to expand the business. Your exciting proposal has reached me at exactly the right time, and I am extremely interested in pursuing your offer. Please get back to me with more details as soon as you can. I look forward to your positive response. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. You said in your email that your father was late. What is he late for, and how long have you been waiting for him? From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Be Open Minded Sent: Sun, 27 Feb 2005 11:30:36 -0500 (EST) Dear friend Gilbert, Thank you so much for your response. I am willing to work with you provided you will be open minded to assist me invest the $12 million in your company. The money is in a MELBA FINANCIAL CREDIT UNION in Canada. You have to visit or contact the security vault firm where the fund is kept. You may also establish an offshore account with the financial firm because it is in cash. Probably. When you have finished establishing the offshore account you opened in your name, you will later transfer the funds to your bank account for the investment. A power of attorney will be sent to you so that you will have the right as my partner to claim the consignment/money. For the power of attorney to be issued to you, send:
As soon as I receive the document, contact information of the MELBA FINANCIAL CREDIT UNION in Canada will be sent to you for official discussions with them. Note, I will require an invitation letter from you to come over for the modalities immediately the money is in your nominated account on TRUST. Your urgent response will be expected while a constant communication flow is needed for the immediate conclusion of the business. Thank you so much for your understanding and nice talking to me through mail. Note: my father is late; this means he died four years ago. Your friend, Miss Lisa Wiwoor, Sierra Leone From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: The information you requested Sent: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 09:14:17 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your response to my email. I am tremendously pleased that you wish to accept my offer and invest your money in my business. I can promise you that you will not regret your decision; my video production company is going from strength to strength, and I predict an even more profitable future for it, thanks to the money you are going to invest. You say the money is in Canada at the moment. To tell you the truth, I have a very busy shooting schedule for the next couple of months - I am halfway through filming our next release, The Postman Always Comes Twice, and then I will be moving straight onto our next film, Give Me Good Head, Old Alfredo Garcia - so I doubt I will have the time to visit the security company myself. Will this be a problem? You also mentioned that I should open an offshore bank account. Is this strictly necessary? I currently bank with Bartletts of Lincoln - a small, but very reputable bank - and they have always been able to satisfy all of my banking needs. Could I not transfer the money directly into my Bartletts bank account? This would be easier for me. One other query. You said in your email that you need an invitation letter from me so that you could come over to the UK for "modalities". What are "modalities"? I've not heard of them before. I looked the word up in a dictionary, but it wasn't listed. Are they some kind of African greeting? You asked me for some information. Here it is:
You also asked for a copy of my passport. I have scanned one in and attached it to this email. I trust this is all the information you need in order for us to move forward. I look forward to receiving an answer to my queries as soon as possible. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Thank for for clarifying the situation regarding your father. I am sorry to hear that he is dead. Please accept my condolences. If I were you, I would stop waiting for him any longer. He's not coming back, you know. Probably best to accept it and move on.  From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Your Telephone and Fax Number Sent: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 13:09:01 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, Thanks for the mail. The passport photograph does not look good, because of your position. Is this truly your pic? To answer your questions; I am not in a position to inform you about the working conditions of the security company. It is good you find out from them, please. Can you send your easy reach telephone number to give them, to reach you? For your third question, MODALITY means to discuss how to share the percentage of the fund ($12 million) between us. Thanks and regards, Miss Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Frankly, I am offended by your comments Sent: Tue, 01 Mar 2005 09:27:51 Dear Miss Wiwoor, I have just read the email you sent to me. To be perfectly honest with you, I am somewhat affronted by your comments regarding my passport photograph. Frankly, Miss Wiwoor, I found your comments rude and insulting. Let me tell you, my dear girl, that it is considered extremely impolite to make adverse comments on the physical appearance of others, just because you personally do not find them attractive. I have to say that many other people have commented that I am extremely well-preserved for my age, and I always try to make an effort where my appearance is concerned. Furthermore, I have always considered that the photograph on my passport shows me in rather a good light. I clearly remember that I took the time to brilliantine my rather fine head of hair and wax my lustrous moustache before having the photograph taken for my passport, and I think that the time was well-spent. You also say that the passport photograph does not look good "because of my position". I am sorry, my dear girl, but I fail to see what my position as a video director has to do with my passport photograph. If we are to work together on this matter, Miss Wiwoor, I expect to receive a full apology from you by return. If an apology is not forthcoming, I shall continue my search for additional funding elsewhere. Gilbert Murray PS. One other thing. You have seen my passport. Now let me see yours. I would like to see who I am dealing with. From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: I'm Very Sorry Sent: Tue, 01 Mar 2005 12:17:54 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, I am very deeply sorry to have gone so far to use such inapplicable words. I am aware that you will not carry this too far. Please accept my sincere apology. Sir, it is not in my character to insult an elderly person such as you. If you know that you are not still angry with me, may I have your telephone number to reach you? Find attached my picture in my international passport.  From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: What do you mean, "elderly"?!? Sent: Wed, 02 Mar 2005 09:58:38 Dear Miss Wiwoor, "Elderly"?!? What do you mean, "elderly"?!? Let me assure you, Miss Wiwoor, that I am in no way "elderly". I am in the prime of life, my dear girl. I am full of vitality. I can prove this to you by the fact that I directed myself in a supporting role in one of our films, Going Down On The Waterfront, last year. And it was an extremely physical part, I can tell you. Miss Wiwoor, you contacted me with a business proposition. I cannot for the life of me understand why you are now insulting me with every email you send. First of all you tell me that you find me unattractive, and then you tell me that I am "elderly"! This is no way to speak to a prospective business partner. As a result of your insults, I am severely tempted to forget this whole business. However, out of the goodness of my heart, I am prepared to give you one last chance, as long as you send me an apology by return and promise to refrain from making unpleasant personal comments about me. Thank you for sending me a copy of your passport, by the way. Note how I have refrained from making any derogatory comments about your appearance. Even if I found you physically repulsive (which, incidentally, I do not), I would be too polite to say so. Now then, you asked for my telephone number. It's 01927 58367. However, I must warn you that we are having a problem with the telephone line at the moment: we had some extremely strong winds the other day and they brought down the telegraph wires to the village, so our telephone is out of order at the moment. Luckily my satellite internet connection has been unaffected by the bad weather, so I suggest that we continue communicating via email until the telephone company get around to repairing the line. This is all most inconvenient: it's not good for business at all when people find it hard to get in touch with you, as I am sure you can imagine. So, Miss Wiwoor, back to business. Get back to me with an apology and a reassurance that you will stop insulting me, and hopefully we will be able to move forward. Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Is This Not a Stupid Question? Sent: Wed, 02 Mar 2005 14:49:55 -0500 (EST) Let us forget about this business. I don't have all that time to waste, PERIOD. Lisa From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I would like to apologise Sent: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 10:51:52 Dear Miss Wiwoor, I have looked back over the emails you have sent to me and reconsidered what you said. With the benefit of hindsight, perhaps I have misjudged you: perhaps you were not insulting me intentionally after all, but merely used a few unfortunate turns of phrase in your emails. If I have indeed misjudged you, then I apologise profusely. Miss Wiwoor, you contacted me with a serious business proposal. I am still extremely interested in pursuing this proposal. With this in mind, I am willing to let bygones be bygones, forget about your insults, and move forward in partnership with you. To be absolutely frank, Miss Wiwoor, I have been searching for an outside investor for my company for the past six months or so, and I think I would be a fool to pass you up on your offer. I still want to work with you, Miss Wiwoor. I believe that if we put the misunderstandings of the past few days behind us, we could work together in a profitable business partnership. If you are still interested in investing in my business, please get back to me by return. I hope to hear from you. I can promise you that I will not disappoint you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I would like to apologise Sent: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 10:30:13 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, Thanks for your mail. I have thrown all the past difference behind me. I too apologise over it. I am still interested to talk to you directly through your phone line, to arrest my fears towards investing into your company's project. I am very optimistic to invest with you. May God bless you. Miss Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I am relieved to hear that you would like to move forward Sent: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 17:08:28 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email. I am relieved to hear that you would like to move forward and invest in my company. I too would like to speak to you in person regarding this business, but as I explained yesterday, my telephone is currently out of action as some of the telegraph poles leading to the village have been blown down in the gales we had here recently. Living where you do, it must be difficult for you to imagine the severity of our winters here in the UK. I just count myself lucky that the wind did not result in a total power cut, as happened some months ago. It took three days for the power to be restored then. As it is, we had a particularly heavy fall of snow last night, which has further hampered the telephone company's efforts to restore our phone lines. I am afraid that there is nothing I can do about this except wait for the lines to be restored. Until then, I suggest we continue communicating by email. You said that you had "fears" towards investing in my company. Please allow me to allay your fears, my dear girl. I can assure you that my company will prove to be an extremely suitable vehicle for the investment you are planning. The company's profits have risen year on year since 1987, and I am confident that with your extra investment, we will be able to expand and grow to be even more successful. Living in Sierra Leone, I doubt that you will have come across any of the videos that my company has produced (unlike a great many men in Britain and Europe, who presumably come across my videos on a regular basis). I did investigate the possibility of distributing my videos in South Africa some years ago - I was actually on the verge of striking a deal with a local distributor - but there were fierce protests from a number of religious leaders who were none too keen at the thought of our "adult" videos being sold in South Africa. In the end I took the advice of the local Roman Catholic representative and pulled out at the last minute. Nevertheless, I can assure you that our videos are extremely popular here in the UK, and also across Europe, where we distribute the videos via mail order and through specialist chains of "adult" shops. Ever since our first big success, Shagfest At Tiffany's, our sales have risen consistently and the company has gone from strength to strength. I do realise that the adult video business is not to everyone's taste. However, it has provided myself and my wife Elizabeth with a good living for many years, and I am confident that if you invest in the company, you will be more than happy with the financial rewards. You advised me in your second email to be open-minded. I would ask you to do the same, my dear, and to not let the nature of my business discourage you from investing your money into it. Please get back to me with details of how we can move forward with this business. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: The information you requested Sent: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 15:53:09 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, Thanks for marrying a wife called Elizabeth bearing the same name with me. I will be looking forward to seeing her. There is no doubt you are marrying a beautiful queen. Now, you can find below the contact information of the security company in Canada, where the money is deposited, to ask them all you may want to know about the money and to claim. Melba Financial Credit Union Tel: 647-436-1440 Fax: 416-322-1643 Contact Person: William Ray Email: melbafinancial2000@yahoo.ca I will send you the power of attorney by this time tomorrow, to enable the security company to guide you on how to claim the fund to your bank account. They may request you to forward your banking particulars or invite you to sign for the release of the fund based on your beneficiary status. I will expect to receive a letter of invitation to start processing my international passport the with British Embassy in Sierra Leone. Looking forward to hearing a favourable acknowledgement from you. Your family friend, Miss Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I will contact the security company immediately Sent: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 10:16:37 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email and for sending me details of the security company. I will contact them immediately and start the ball rolling. Thank you also for promising to send me the power of attorney. I look forward to receiving it. You say you want me to send you a letter of invitation. This will be no problem. Please forward me your postal address by return and I will draft one out and email it on to you. Is there anything in particular you would like me to write in the letter? Incidentally, if I could clear up one particular point, I am not "marrying a wife called Elizabeth", as you put it. I am pleased to be able to tell you that Elizabeth and I have been happily married for many years. She is a charming woman. I cannot wait for the two of you to meet up: I am sure you will get on like a house on fire. I must get back to the studio immediately. Unfortunately the leading actor in The Postman Always Comes Twice had a bit too much to drink last night and is consequently finding it somewhat difficult to "perform", if you get my meaning. As well as directing the action I will therefore be having to stand in for him for a number of important close-up shots. I will have to try and keep Elizabeth out of the way: she does tend to get somewhat jealous when I have to stand in for our actors. I keep telling her that it's just work and that it doesn't mean anything to me, but she isn't happy about it. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: Regarding the funds of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor Sent: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 10:18:41 Dear Mr Ray, I am writing to you regarding the $12 million that Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor, the daughter of the former and deceased Liberian Vice President, currently residing in Sierra Leone, has deposited with your company. Miss Wiwoor is keen to invest this money in my video production company and has asked me to contact you to make the necessary arrangements. Please get back to me and advise me on the steps we need to take to transfer the $12 million from your vaults into my corporate bank account. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: No word from the security company Sent: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 16:46:42 Dear Miss Wiwoor, I trust that you had a pleasant weekend. I thought I would send you a quick email to let you know that I contacted Mr Ray at the security company on Friday and asked him if he could start the ball rolling regarding transferring your $12 million into my bank account. However, since then I have not heard a word back from him. Is there any way you could give Mr Ray a shove in the right direction? I am keen to move forward with this business as quickly as possible, and delays like this are no help at all. I would telephone the man, but my phone is still out of action. Talking of being out of action, my leading man in The Postman Always Comes Twice is still incapable of "performing". It seems the man has a drink problem. If I had known that when I auditioned him, I would never have taken him on. A leading actor who is unable to get it up is about as much use as a chocolate condom. I have been having to stand in for him all weekend - quite literally - and I am absolutely exhausted. Still, there are worse jobs to do, I suppose. Do let me know if you hear anything from Mr Ray, won't you my dear? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray; Cc: William Ray Subject: The power of attorney Sent: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 14:25:23 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, Sorry for not being able to send you the power of attorney earlier as promised last week. I was waiting for my lawyer to come back from his trip to South Africa. So I have now attached the copy of the power of attorney to this mail indicating our partnership bond. Miss Lisa Wiwoor  From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: What is our next step? Sent: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 12:05:21 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for sending me the power of attorney. What a fine looking document it is. Now that the power of attorney is in my possession, what is our next step? I still haven't heard a thing from the Canadian security company. Perhaps it is an extended public holiday in Canada? I have heard that the Canadians have a major public holiday to commemorate the invention of maple syrup, but I'm not sure when that is. My problems regarding the filming of my latest video continue. The leading actor in The Postman Always Comes Twice has been permanently drunk for days now, and I have had to give him the sack. This is a major problem, as we have already shot about half of the film. Elizabeth and I are going to sit down today and rewrite the rest of the script to enable us to introduce another main male character to the plot - perhaps a milkman - who can be played by a new actor. As a result of this, we may have to consider renaming the film too. At the moment I am considering The Postman Always Comes Twice, But The Milkman Leaves More Cream as a possible title, but I'm not sure if it's catchy enough. What do you think? I have already started advertising for a new male actor. Hopefully Elizabeth and I will be able to conduct auditions later in the week. Elizabeth always enjoys that part of the job. Anyway, back to business. Please let me know what we need to do next in order to get this money transferred into my bank account. Have you had any luck getting a response out of the security company? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Regarding the funds of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor Sent: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 11:28:41 Dear Mr Ray, I sent you an email last Friday regarding the funds of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor, which are currently deposited in your security company. Miss Wiwoor and I are seeking to arrange the transfer of these funds into my own bank account. To this end, Miss Wiwoor forwarded a power of attorney to you on Monday, which gives me the legal right to act on her behalf. To be perfectly frank with you, I am surprised that you have not yet seen fit to respond. I am a busy man, Mr Ray, and I would like to execute this transaction as swiftly as possible. With this in mind, kindly respond to this email by return so that we can make the necessary arrangements. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Respond immediately, or wave goodbye to my business Sent: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 10:09:22 Mr Ray, I contacted you last Friday regarding a fund that currently resides within your vaults, which I want to arrange to transfer into my own bank account. The owner of this fund, Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor, sent you a power of attorney on Monday, which gives me the legal right to act on her behalf. I contacted you once again on Wednesday, asking you to start the ball rolling. Despite all this, I have heard absolutely nothing from you. Not only is this poor business etiquette, I also consider it to be extremely rude of you. I am not a patient man, Mr Ray. If I do not hear back from you by the end of today, you can wave goodbye to me and my business. Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Regarding the funds of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor Sent: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:51:22 -0500 (EST) FROM THE DESK OF WILLIAM RAY MARCH 11, 2005 ATTN: GILBERT MURRAY, I wish to inform you that this office has been authorised by Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor to accredit your draft. We wish to express our regrets on behalf of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor over the period of time this transaction has taken. We apologise for the delay and other inconveniences this may have caused you. This office is an offshore credit settlement segment responsible for debts, based in Toronto, Canada. We are therefore pleased to inform you that your payment has been approved. You are therefore required to complete the attached document and fax it back to us as soon as possible. This will enable us to confirm the authenticity of the beneficiary and expedite the fund's release. You may choose to call me for any further information. Yours truly, William Ray, Accounts Officer Tel: 647-436-1440 Fax: 416-322-1643 Email: melbafinancial2000@yahoo.ca  From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: I will examine the document you sent me this weekend Sent: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 16:02:36 Dear Mr Ray, Thank you for getting back to me eventually. Better late than never, I suppose. Please ensure that there are no more delays in this business from now on. Thank you also for sending me the security application form. I will examine it this weekend and get it back to you early next week. I trust you will have a pleasant weekend. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Mr Ray has finally been in touch Sent: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 16:06:22 Dear Miss Wiwoor, A quick note to let you know that Mr Ray from the security company has finally been in touch. At last: I was beginning to despair of this entire business. He has sent me a form to fill in. I will take a look at it this weekend and get back to him early next week. Things are rather hectic around here at the moment: we are in the middle of auditioning male actors to take the new lead role in The Postman Always Comes Twice, But The Milkman Leaves More Cream (I have decided to use that title, by the way). It is quite exhausting work, especially for Elizabeth, who likes to take a very active role in the auditions. She is in the middle of gauging one candidate's performance as we speak: I can hear them quite clearly through the screen door. Judging by Elizabeth's reactions to the young actor's efforts, I think he is favourite to get the part so far. He certainly sounds as if he is putting all he has got into it. I would like to wish you a pleasant weekend. I will get back to you next week when I have made some more progress with Mr Ray. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray; Cc: William Ray Subject: Re: Mr Ray has finally been in touch Sent: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 15:10:42 -0500 (EST) Dear friend Gilbert, I have written to Mr Ray since last week and up till this moment the security company have not replied to me either. What nonsense is all this from Mr Ray. I have to thank God they at last answered you today. I hope the reply you received could have been as a result of the letter stinker I dropped through my mail to them yesterday. Please, I will be interested to receive also the copy of the filled form when returning it them. Hi Gilbert, from the information given me as you narrate about auditioning, it is not an easy task. You must be a real busy man with my friend Elizabeth. Please try to make out time for yourself to relax. Thanks and best regards. From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: The completed security application form Sent: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 09:31:30 Dear Mr Ray, Please find attached my completed security application form, and a copy of my passport. I have sent the form to you via email as I do not possess a fax machine. I used to have one years ago, but the thing kept on breaking and I got sick of having to repair it all the time. I trust this is all the information you need in order to move forward. Please advise me as to our next step. Best regards, Gilbert Murray  From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: The completed security application form Sent: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 14:01:14 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, Yes, I have seen the security form you filled in for the understanding of Melba Financial Credit Union, Toronto, Canada. I am hopeful it is in order as they want. I will be very happy to receive all the information and steps taking for actualisation of this money into your account, now that you have opened communication with the financial company. You can find below my contact address in Sierra Leone. Use this address to send me a letter of invitation to the United Kingdom. The invitation will read a visiting visa. You will include my brother's name in the invitation: OKIRIKO JOMAL WIWOOR. Elisabeth Jomal Wiwoor, Plot 14/15 Sakanbiarwa Cresent, Leicester Peak (Government Reservation Area), Freetown Peninsula, Sierra Leone Thanks for your kindness. Also extend my warmest greeting to my friend Elizabeth with you there. May God bless you. Your friend, Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Regarding the letter of invitation Sent: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 09:46:48 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email. I trust you are well. I have yet to hear back from Mr Ray, but hopefully he will get back in touch with me later today. I do hope we do not experience any more delays from his end: I am not a patient man, and I abhor people who waste time when there is business to be done. Now then, about this letter of invitation you want me to send you. Am I right in thinking that you and your brother require this letter of invitation in order to acquire visas for entry into the United Kingdom? If this is the case, I want to ensure that I write the letter in such a way that your visa applications will be accepted. I have been thinking about this, and I wondered if I should write in the letter of invitation that I need you to come over to the United Kingdom to work for my video production company? I think this may be the best course of action: if the letter states that you and your brother are needed in this country for the production of a new film, I am sure that your visa applications will be considered favourably. As it happens, Elizabeth and I have been touched by your story, and we were talking over the weekend about producing a new video in the near future, loosely based on the classic John Huston film African Queen (which starred Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn) but incorporating elements of your own remarkable life story. Elizabeth has already started sketching out a possible plot. I could state in the letter of invitation that you and your brother are required to play the starring roles in the film. I am sure that would get your visa applications passed. What do you think? Let me know if you approve. If so, I will draft a letter of invitation to you and your brother immediately. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Presumably you and your brother will require accommodation when you come to visit Elizabeth and I in Gypping in the Marsh. We have a little caravan at the bottom of the garden and we would be honoured if the two of you would consent to being our guests for the duration of your stay. Please do say that you will accept. We are so looking forward to meeting you. From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Regarding the letter of invitation Sent: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 10:22:54 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, I sincerely thank you and Elizabeth for acknowledging the invitation of me and my only brother who is the only survival male in our family. I am sharing the tears of joy as I write you now, for you accepting us in your life is the best thing that I feel has happened in our entire existence. I cannot have enough words to appreciate this wholesome accommodation and your kindness. Money has never been everything in life, but to see someone accepting you as himself and to move along with him or her in a positive direction. You are very GREAT indeed, I must confess this to you. Please do not relent your strength in breaking through to claim this money out from this financial firm. Most of these security companies can delay unnecessarily. I have been sending a series of mails to them in Canada to release the fund to you without further delay. The answer to your question in paragraph two of your mail to me is "YES". Myself and my brother need the invitation to come. Remain blessed as you work hard. Your friend, Lisa From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I shall draft out a letter of invitation tomorrow Sent: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 17:16:31 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email and for your kind words, which have touched the hearts of both Elizabeth and I. We both feel honoured to be in a position to help you and your brother out of the situation in which you currently find yourselves. Mind you, it is nothing less than you deserve: after all, you are helping me out by investing your not inconsiderable fortune in my video production business. I shall draft out a letter of invitation tomorrow and send it on to you. As agreed, the letter will state that you and your brother are required to come over to the UK in order to act in the new video we are going to shoot. You will be pleased to hear that Elizabeth has spent the day developing her ideas for this proposed new video, which as you no doubt recall will be loosely based on John Huston's classic African Queen, but with elements of your own life story mixed into the plot. Elizabeth devises the plots and writes the screenplays for all of the videos we produce, and she has had some excellent ideas which I am sure will make this new video a Gilbert Murray Moving Pictures production to remember. Incidentally, my dear girl, have you ever considered acting as a profession? Your passport photograph shows you to be an attractive young lady, and I feel sure that with looks like that you could go far in the world of adult entertainment. If your brother is similarly blessed with good looks, perhaps the two of you would consider actually accepting parts in this new video? I would be more than happy to give you a quick once-over on the casting couch when you visit us in the UK, in order to see if you have the qualities we are looking for in an actress. And I am sure that Elizabeth would not mind checking out your brother's performance too. I must go: we have one more outside scene to shoot for The Postman Always Comes Twice, But The Milkman Leaves More Cream today, and I want to get it in the can before the light goes. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Still no word from Mr Ray. Perhaps he is out hunting moose, or whatever it is they do to pass the time in Canada. From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: The completed security application form Sent: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 15:01:14 -0500 (EST) FROM THE DESK OF WILLIAM RAY MARCH 15, 2005 ATTN: GILBERT MURRAY, We have gone through the data sent to us, and are pleased to bring to your notice that it matches exactly with what we have here in our records. This proves you to be the true beneficiary of the funds. However, based on the large payment pack we are here dealing with, you are required to be responsible for the following applicable charges that will enable us to expedite action on this transaction. Therefore, you are hereby directed to pay to our Accounts Dept the sum of US $2,550 as a processing and handling fee. The payment should be made to the Senior Accounts/Administration Officer, Mr Richard Stanford, through MoneyGram money transfer (Toronto, Canada). THANK YOU, WILLIAM RAY, ACCOUNTS OFFICER Tel: 647-436-1440 Fax: 416-322-1643 Email: melbafinancial2000@yahoo.ca From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: Regarding payment of your processing and handling fee Sent: Wed, 16 Mar 2005 10:14:02 Dear Mr Ray, Thank you for your email. I am pleased to hear that your records appear to be up to date and that they confirm me to be the rightful beneficiary of the fund in question. Regarding payment of your processing and handling fee, I have an idea. Rather than waste time and effort transferring the money to your Senior Accounts/Administration Officer, Mr Stanford, I hereby authorise you to open my consignment and take your fee directly from within it. I am sure you will agree, this will simplify things all round, and it will enable you to gain access to your fee instantly. Now that I have dealt with the payment of your processing and handling fee, we need to arrange for the consignment to be delivered to me. Please get back to me by return with information on what arrangements you propose to make to facilitate this. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Good news from Mr Ray Sent: Wed, 16 Mar 2005 10:16:22 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Good news from Mr Ray: he contacted me last night to inform me that his records do indeed show me to be the rightful beneficiary to your consignment. Apparently there is some small fee to pay before the consignment can be delivered to me, but this should not be a problem. I have authorised Mr Ray to take his fee directly out of the $12 million in the consignment. I drafted a letter of invitation for you and your brother last night and popped it into the post first thing this morning. It's on my company's headed paper, so it's all nice and official. As we discussed, I have stated in the letter that you are both required to visit the UK in order to work on our next adult video. The text of the letter is as follows:
I trust that letter will be satisfactory for your purposes and that it will enable you and your brother to obtain visas. Please let me know when you receive it. Regarding the film, Elizabeth and I are extremely excited about it. There is quite a market for that sort of video (especially in Belgium, for some reason), and we feel that basing the plot loosely upon your life story will add a touch of realism to the film. In all seriousness, my dear girl, would you consider taking up acting? It can be extremely fulfilling. I know for a fact that my wife is fulfilled almost on an hourly basis when she takes part in filming one of our videos. I will let you know when I hear back from Mr Ray regarding the delivery of the consignment. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: How are things progressing? Sent: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 10:28:56 Dear Mr Ray, Following on from the email I sent to you yesterday, how are things progressing regarding my consignment? I assume that you will by now have extracted your processing and handling fee from the consignment - leaving a total of $11,997,450 in the consignment by my calculation - and that we are therefore ready to arrange for the consignment to be delivered to me. Please get back to me by return and advise me on our next step. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I will not tolerate any further delays Sent: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 10:59:46 Mr Ray, It is now two days since I contacted you regarding the payment of your processing and handling fee. Since then I have heard nothing from you whatsoever. Such delays are unacceptable. I have warned you before that I am not a patient man. I am simply not prepared to put up with any further delays from your end on this matter. If you do not get back to me by the end of the day, I will be forced to take my business elsewhere. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Mr Ray is delaying things yet again Sent: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 13:14:03 Dear Miss Wiwoor, How are you today, my dear girl? It is some days since I last heard from you. I trust you are keeping well. Do let me know how you and your brother are getting on. Elizabeth and I have been making arrangements for your impending visit to Gypping in the Marsh: we have been giving the caravan at the bottom of the garden a good spring clean for you. As you will no doubt be aware, Mr Ray is delaying things yet again. I have emailed the man this morning, demanding action from him. Hopefully this will raise some sort of response. I have to say, your late father didn't exactly choose the best security company to look after his fortune, did he? They have a lot to learn when it comes to customer service. Tell me, my dear, have you received your letter of invitation in the post yet? I posted it first class, but I don't know how long it will take to get to you. I have heard rumours that the speed and efficiency of the postal service in Sierra Leone largely depends from day to day on whether or not the postman has bothered to feed his donkey. Is there anything you can do to prompt Mr Ray into action, my dear? Surely as the daughter of an ex-African politician - even a dead and disgraced one - you must have some influence. Have a word with Mr Ray and let me know how you get on. My patience with the man is fast running out. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Sorry For The Delay Sent: Sun, 20 Mar 2005 13:39:05 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, I am very sorry in keeping silence in your two mails. Please accept my sincere apology. I had a car crash with my car on the 15th of this month, March, when I was coming back from a lecture. I was admitted in the hospital all this while and this prompted my late replies to your emails. I sustained some bruises and had dislocation on my left leg. Well, I thank God that I'm alive. I have been discharged from the hospital where I was admitted for medical treatment this evening. I only lost my beautiful car in the accident, which was beyond repair. In respect of the invitation, I'm quite sorry to say that the mail system delivery in this country is very poor. We hardly receive letters through any kind of posting. I will be going to the Postmaster General's office tomorrow to find out why I have not gotten this important letter. A lot of mail I ought to have received in the past, some was just lost in thin air and some returned back to the sender due to inefficiency delivery location. The system of numbering houses is very poor and confusing in this country. I will write to Mr Ray tomorrow a strong warning mail for delaying the transfer of this money to you. I want to have a rest for today only. You are very important to me. That is why I have taken the pains as I was been worried to mail you. Please extend my warmest greeting to Elizabeth my friend and your co-worker. Thanks, and it's nice to be in your company with Elizabeth. Your friend, Lisa From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I am terribly sorry to hear about your accident Sent: Mon, 21 Mar 2005 09:51:38 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email. I am terribly sorry to hear about your accident, but Elizabeth and I are both relieved to hear that you are alive. You may have lost your car, but you still have your life. That is the main thing. How did it happen, my dear? I have heard that the roads in Sierra Leone - and the general standard of driving - are very poor. Did you have to swerve to avoid the postman's donkey and crash your car into a tree? Mind you, it is not only in Sergio Leone that accidents can happen; Elizabeth and I were involved in a car accident once upon a time in America. We flew over there, hired a car, and were planning to tour the country over the course of two months. I remember it all so vividly. We handed over a fistful of dollars to a huge man at the car hire company - he was as big as the Colossus of Rhodes. We could have hired a slightly better car for a few dollars more, but money was tight in those days. Anyway, we set off in the car and headed west. We saw all sorts of driving in America - the good, the bad and the ugly - but nothing could have prepared us for what happened once upon a time in the west. We were driving along the road, minding our own business, when we saw a fire engine coming the other way. Suddenly, the ladder of the fire engine disengaged itself and swung free, right out into the middle of the road... right out in front of us! We had next to no time at all to react. Elizabeth and I heard the driver of the fire engine shout out "Duck, you sucker", and we both instantly ducked down in our seats. We were just in time: seconds later, the fire engine's ladder smashed into the windscreen of our car and took the whole roof off! If we hadn't have ducked when we did, Elizabeth and I would both have been decapitated. It was a terrifying moment. Anyway, enough about car accidents. I am sorry to hear that you have not yet received your letter of invitation. I am sure it will arrive sometime this week. Do let me know as soon as you get it. Also let me know how you get on with Mr Ray. I have to admit, I am fast losing patience with this man. He just doesn't reply to my emails. That's no way to do business. If he doesn't apply himself to the business in hand very quickly, I may have to consider giving up on this whole business and searching for the money I need elsewhere. I would hate to let you down, but what else can I do? Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. You haven't told me how you feel about the possibility of moving into the adult film business in an acting role. Elizabeth's script for African Anal Queen is fast taking shape, and we need to know if you and your brother are interested in applying for the leading roles. From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Have you had any luck contacting Mr Ray? Sent: Wed, 30 Mar 2005 09:00:02 Dear Miss Wiwoor, How are you, my dear girl? To be honest, I am becoming concerned that I have not heard back from you regarding this transaction. Is everything alright? You haven't been involved in another car accident, have you? Get back to me as soon as you can and let me know if you've had any luck contacting Mr Ray. I am keen to get this transaction over and done with as soon as possible: it is taking far too long, if you ask me. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Have you had any luck contacting Mr Ray? Sent: Fri, 01 Apr 2005 13:56:45 -0500 (EST) Dear Gilbert, I am sorry to not have been in contact with you. This time around the pains on my leg has increased. I was taken to hospital again. Mr Ray in his reply to my mail and in the phone discussion I had with him, he said that the charges must be paid. It is the policy of their company before any payment could be made to the beneficiary of the money. Since then I'm worried looking for how I could raise the fund, but my health has been my hindrance to me. I am really confused, and I do not know where to start and end these matters arising. Your friend, Lisa From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: What do you suggest we do? Sent: Mon, 04 Apr 2005 08:58:27 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email. I am dreadfully sorry to hear about your continuing health problems. That will teach you to drive a bit more carefully in the future, will it not? You have my sympathy. I am very confused by this Mr Ray. First of all, why does the man not have the common decency to contact me directly and explain what is going on? This is all most inconvenient. Secondly, I don't understand what his problem is. There should be no problem regarding the payment of his fee: I have already instructed him to take the money directly out of the consignment that is in his possession. Why on earth hasn't he done this by now? Please get back to Mr Ray and ask the man to contact me directly and explain exactly what is going on. If for some reason he is unable to take the fee directly from the consignment, I suppose I could always send it to him separately, but it would be easier for all concerned if I didn't have to do this. I just don't understand what the problem is here. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. What exactly is the extent of your injuries following your car crash? Are there any permanent scars? I ask because any such scarring could jeopardise your future in the adult film industry. The punters generally prefer their porn stars to be unscarred, you see? Do let me know so that we can start looking around for an alternative star for African Anal Queen if necessary. From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Send The Money Separately Sent: Mon, 04 Apr 2005 14:44:43 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert, Thanks, I appreciate your concern about my health. I am not a rough driver, I'm always careful when I'm on the steering. This is quite unfortunate that it happens. Mr Ray was right to say that our policy agreement with their company does not allow removing anything of any kind from the deposited treasury. So we have to get the cash to pay for the handling charge bill. I believe as you rightly put "I suppose we could always send it to him separately". I wish you to do as you said. Please! Please!! I have no scars on my body, even before and after my accident. There is no place you can find scars. I'm very clean and neat all over. So I will play the African Anal Queen part without blemish. Believe you me, I love acting. From your friend, Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I will contact Mr Ray and arrange to make the payment Sent: Tue, 05 Apr 2005 08:32:38 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email. I did not realise that you had an agreement with Mr Ray's security company that precluded him from withdrawing his fee directly from the consignment. Perhaps if Mr Ray had had the common decency to explain this to me himself, we could have completed this transaction by now. Anyway, I will contact Mr Ray directly and arrange to make the payment. Hopefully we will then be able to arrange for the consignment to be delivered to me here in Gypping in the Marsh. On the subject of our proposed new video, African Anal Queen, I am absolutely delighted to hear that you will be willing to accept the lead role. I am convinced that you will be able to bring a sense of realism to the film that is often sadly lacking in such productions. I presume you have read the outline of the film that I sent to you some time ago, and are therefore fully aware of the requirements of the role. Tell me, have you had much experience of taking large men up your back passage, or will this be relatively new to you? I will get back to you once I have heard back from Mr Ray. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Did you ever receive that letter of invitation that I sent to you? You have not mentioned it for some time. I do hope that it arrived safely. From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Regarding the funds of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor Sent: Tue, 05 Apr 2005 08:43:17 Dear Mr Ray, I am writing to you regarding the funds of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor, which you are currently holding. If you recall, you informed me that there was a processing and handling fee that I needed to pay before you could arrange to deliver the consignment to me. I instructed you to take this money directly from the consignment. Miss Wiwoor has since informed me that you have an agreement with her that prevents you from opening the consignment and removing anything from it. I was unaware of this at the time. Therefore, I see that I now need to get the processing and handling fee to you separately. As I have lost the original email you sent me which included details of how to pay the fee, and who to pay it to, could you please resend me these details? I will make arrangements to pay the fee as soon as I receive your email. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Regarding the funds of Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor Sent: Tue, 05 Apr 2005 09:46:39 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, Thank you for your message. We have been trying to call you with the number you gave us, but the number is not going through. It seems to be out of order. Please provide us with the new telephone number and fax number for easier communication. Payments should made to our assistant account officer, MR PETER GORDON, through MoneyGram money transfer. Upon receipt of this payment your transaction will be re-established within twenty-four hours. Please do not hesitate to call me. Thank you, W Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: Would a Western Union payment be acceptable? Sent: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 08:42:04 Dear Mr Ray, Thank you for your email. It was nice to get a response out of you for once. Thank you also for sending me details of how to make the payment you require. You say that you would like the money to be transferred via MoneyGram. However, our nearest MoneyGram agent is a considerable distance away. We do have a Western Union agent not that far away. Would a Western Union payment be acceptable? Please let me know. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I will contact Mr Ray and arrange to make the payment Sent: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 12:35:47 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert, Your mail is quite received and the contents are well noted. Accept my apologies for the inconvenience you have taked all this while to see the final conclusion of this consignment delivery to you. You are a patient man. I promise to invest more in the UK or somewhere else through your instructions and directions when we finally meet in the United Kingdom. There is a lot more than what we are about finalising now. I did forgot because of the pressure on me at the time of my accident, that there was an agreement we reached with the company, when my father was alive. Mr Ray had to remind me about it when he read the copy of the agreement over, due to my persistent threat which my father's lawyer later confirmed that is true. I have not any of the experience of taking large men up my back passage. It is new to me. Unless you have a different meaning to what I'm thinking of it? I have for a long time stopped asking people to send mails through the post office service again. The worst post office running in the world could be well found in Africa. Yes, I am an African. All is not well with us Africans, I confess. I have not received the letter of invitation all this while you sent to me. I knew it would get lost or returned back to the sender because the system of delivering letters to the owners is very poor in Sierra Leone. I thank God and the white men who made it possible to invent computers, making letters easy to be sent out. I have started making an arrangement to obtain a visa to the United Kingdom. I consulted my father's lawyer, who promised to meet the Consulate General of the British Embassy in Sierra Leone to issue me a visa. When I receive the visa I will mail you immediately to inform you of my coming over to meet you and my twin sister Elizabeth. Please extend my warmest greeting to her on my behalf. Best regards, Your friend, Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Regarding the consignment Sent: Thu, 07 Apr 2005 08:52:29 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email. You will be pleased to hear that Mr Ray has got back in touch with me. He is asking me to send the money via MoneyGram. However, our nearest MoneyGram agent is some distance away, so I got in touch with him yesterday and asked if a Western Union payment will be acceptable instead. I have yet to receive a response from the man. I must say, he's not very good at responding to emails, is he? So, you have not had much experience of buggery? As you are aware, this will form a large part of the action in African Anal Queen, so if you are going to play the lead role, it is something you are going to have to get used to. It may sting a bit at first, but I you never know, you may come to enjoy it after a while. And on a positive note, your inexperience in these matters will add to the realism of the film immensely. I am sorry to hear that you have not yet received the letter of invitation I sent to you. It does seem to be taking an inordinately long time to get to you. You must be right when you say that the Sierra Leone postal service is not very efficient. Perhaps the postman's donkey is ill or something. You say you are contacting the Consulate General of the British Embassy in Sierra Leone in order to arrange a visa. Would it help at all if I got in touch with the man and explained the reason for your visit to the UK - that you are travelling over here to play the leading role in an adult video? Do let me know. I would like to do anything I can to help. Incidentally, I must tell you that Elizabeth and I are going away tomorrow for a week's holiday. I very much doubt that we will be able to finalise this business before I leave, but rest assured that I will give it my full attention when we return. I will contact Mr Ray and let him know about my absence. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. What's all this about you having a twin sister called Elizabeth? You've never mentioned her before. Is she coming over the the UK along with you and your brother? How strange that your parents should have two twin girls and give them both the same name. From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: I will be unavailable next week Sent: Thu, 07 Apr 2005 08:55:31 Dear Mr Ray, A quick note to inform you that I will be unavailable next week, as I am going on holiday with my wife. If you could let me know whether paying your fees via Western Union rather than MoneyGram will be acceptable, I will attend to it as soon as I return. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Regarding the consignment Sent: Thu, 07 Apr 2005 13:24:42 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert, Thanks for the mail and its contents. Mr Ray is very reluctant to send emails to his customers. Perhaps he would prefer to phone his clients. I am not a twin by any means biologically with anyone. I am the only daughter of my parents. I was referring to your own Elizabeth with you in the UK as my twin sister. For instance, in Africa, once you bear the same first name with someone from different parents, culture and race, it is being referred to as "my namesake" or "twins". Because of the similarity in name, I hope that is clear to you now. The lawyer is a well known person in Sierra Leone. When I gave him the mail you sent to me and the part I am going to play, he was happy about it. As a result of it he promised to get the visa for me. Do not bother to spend any more money to pass information to the embassy. You have spent a lot of money on my behalf. Best regards! Your friend, Miss Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: A quick note before I leave for my holiday Sent: Fri, 08 Apr 2005 09:49:58 Dear Miss Wiwoor, Thank you for your email. I have informed Mr Ray that I will be on holiday for the next week. He still has not got back to me and let me know whether a Western Union payment will be acceptable. I am hoping that he gets in touch while I am away. If he doesn't bother to get in touch, he's not going to get his money, is he? Sorry for the confusion over the twin sister I thought you were referring to. I understand what you meant now. Regarding your forthcoming starring role in African Anal Queen, I am pleased to be able to tell you that Elizabeth and I have cast one of the main male parts: that of the evil barman who first persuades you and your brother to surrender intimate access to your derrieres in return for the food, drink and shelter that you so desperately need. We have decided to cast a leading Welsh adult movie star, Dai Hard, in the role. I have worked with Dai before, and I can assure you that he is a true professional. He starred in a pornographic action film trilogy that I produced and directed a few years ago, based on a series of popular movies starring Bruce Willis, in which he played the leading role. The films (Dai Hard, Dai Harder and Dai Hard With a Vengeance) proved to be extremely popular in the UK, and in Wales in particular... so much so, in fact, that they were voted "Best Pornographic Action Film Trilogy" in the 2001 Llanfair Caereinion International Film Festival. Dai really is a fine actor, and a good man. I am sure that given you and your brother's inexperience in the field of sodomy, Dai will prove to be the perfect mentor for you both. I must warn you though, he is unusually well-endowed, so it might be worthwhile getting in some practice before you meet him if that's at all possible. Best not to try and run before you can walk, if you see what I mean. Otherwise, you and your brother may find walking somewhat difficult for a few days after your first encounter with the man. Not to mention sitting down. Incidentally, "Dai Hard" is the actor's stage name. Most actors have them. Perhaps we ought to think of a stage name for you to use. How would you feel about using the name of the character you are going to play in African Anal Queen, "Lisa Weewhore"? In my opinion, that would be an excellent stage name for an up and coming adult movie star like yourself. What do you think? I must go now: we have to leave for the airport shortly. Have a good week, and I will get back to you when I return. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: A quick note before I leave for my holiday Sent: Sun, 17 Apr 2005 13:34:44 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert, How are you doing? I hope you're alright in health and business. I do not want to bother you in writing you mails all this while, since you are away for film production, you need total concentration to make a fine film to sell very well. Have you heard from Mr Ray? If not, contact him again. Mr. Ray has given me more trouble than ever. Yes, I love to work with the likes of Bruce Willis, we have watched his films here in Sierra Leone. In fact it will be a one of the great things you are about doing for me. I am trying to imagine myself with such heros that has made their marks in the film world. Oh! You're a great man, Gilbert Murray. Please, I will love any stage name you provide for me. Extend my greetings to Elizabeth. Thanks for your endurance over Mr Ray's attitude. Your friend, Miss Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I am back from my holiday Sent: Tue, 19 Apr 2005 09:47:03 Dear Miss Weewhore, Elizabeth and I have now returned from our holiday. I am pleased to be able to tell you that we both had a marvellous time and that we both feel well-rested and refreshed. Unfortunately, I still have not heard back from Mr Ray. I have asked him on a number of occasions whether I can pay him his fees via Western Union rather than via MoneyGram: this would be a lot easier for me, as my nearest MoneyGram agent is some distance away. I really am losing all patience with this man. Could I ask you to contact him and find out whether a Western Union payment would be acceptable? Get back to me as soon as you have an answer from him. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I am delighted to see that you approve of the stage name I suggested for you. Some actors find that it can take a while to get used to using a stage name. In order to make it easier for you, I will start calling you by your stage name from now on. In fact, you may have noticed that I have already started using it. PPS. You seem to be slightly confused about the actor who you will be working with on African Anal Queen. You will not be working with Bruce Willis. Quite apart from the fact that I couldn't afford to pay his astronomical fees, I'm not at all sure that he'd be willing to indulge in anal intercourse on screen anyway. As I have already told you, you will be working with the famous Welsh porn start, Dai Hard. Please do read my emails more carefully from now on, my dear. From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I am back from my holiday Sent: Tue, 19 Apr 2005 14:10:20 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert, You and Elizabeth have enjoyed yourself. I hope you both have not forgotten me. I am looking forward when to join you for such picnic holiday. I am very happy that you are not in the class of Jack and no play makes Jack a dull boy. You really worked hard so you need that holiday at all cost. I contacted Mr Ray today after going through your mail. He told me, since there are no MoneyGram close to you, you would have gone ahead to pay through Western Union money transfer. The same name is also recommended for Western Union money transfer. What I want you to do is pay through Western Union money transfer and send me the information by scanning it. Immediately I receive it, I will provide a flight ticket for my lawyer to go to Canada to meet the Melba Financial Union to sort it out with them. This has taken a long time. Please do me that favour, once and for all. Your friend, Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I will pay Mr Ray via Western Union Sent: Wed, 20 Apr 2005 09:52:48 Dear Miss Weewhore, Thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear that I will be able to pay Mr Ray via Western Union. Unfortunately, I don't think I will be able to travel to the Western Union agent until tomorrow morning; we are very busy here finishing off The Postman Always Comes Twice, But The Milkman Leaves More Cream. We just have a few critical shots to retake, where we got the camera angles slightly wrong. Elizabeth has just popped down to the local shop to stock up on Kleenex tissues in preparation for today's final shoot. Hopefully I will be able to get to the Western Union agent tomorrow. I will do as you ask, and send you and Mr Ray a scanned copy of the payment receipt as soon as I have transferred the money to him. Incidentally, you will be pleased to hear that we have cast another actor to play a role in African Anal Queen: Dyke Van Dick. I've worked with Van Dick before, many years ago: he played the role of the eccentric professor Caractacus Knobs who invented a nymphomaniac car in a film I produced in the 1970s, Titty Titty Gang Bang. That truly was a seminal work, in more ways than one. It was such a shame that MGM sued my arse off after the film was released. Anyway, Van Dick may be getting on a bit now, but he can still rise to the occasion when he needs to. I'm sure the two of you will get on just fine. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PAY THROUGH WESTERN UNION Sent: Wed, 20 Apr 2005 11:52:10 -0400 (EDT) Dear Murray, How are things generally? Hope fine. I have been very busy all this while outside Canada hence you have not been able to hear from me. I was surprised yesterday that Miss Lisa Wiwoor and her lawyer accused me of not responding to your mails, threatening to sue our company to court. I am sure these mistakes will not repeat itself. Make the payment on the former name through Western Union, to Toronto, Canada. Best regards, Mr William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: I will make the payment tomorrow Sent: Wed, 20 Apr 2005 17:04:31 Dear Mr Ray, Thank you for your email. It was lovely to hear from you after all this time. Apart from your repeated failure to answer my emails, things have been fine over here. Thank you for asking. I am glad to hear that the delightful Miss Wiwoor has taken you to task for your lack of correspondence. Hopefully her threat to sue your company has done some good. I cannot abide people who do not have the courtesy to answer emails. However, as we have to work together on this transaction, I am willing to forgive and forget. Please do ensure that this does not happen again. I expect to receive prompt responses from you from now on. I have been extremely busy with work today, but I am planning to make the payment tomorrow morning via Western Union. Miss Wiwoor has asked me to send you and her a copy of the payment slip once the transfer has been made. You can expect to receive this from me tomorrow. Hopefully we can now bring this transaction to a smooth and timely conclusion. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Please note that my name is "Gilbert", not "Murray". From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I have transferred the fee via Western Union Sent: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 11:36:51 Dear Mr Ray, I have just returned from town, where I transferred your fee to Mr Gordon via Western Union. A scanned copy of the payment slip is attached to this email. As you will see from the attached slip, I had to convert the fee into Pounds Sterling before making the transfer. However, the Western Union agent told me that Mr Gordon will be able to pick up the money in your own local currency. I hope the transfer goes through without any problems: the Western Union agent did seem to be having a few problems with her computer system this morning. However, the agent assured me that Mr Gordon would be able to collect the money immediately. I trust that Mr Gordon will make his way to the nearest Western Union agent immediately. Kindly inform me as soon as the money is in his hands so that we can make arrangements for the consignment to be delivered to me here in the UK. Best regards, Gilbert Murray  From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Has Mr Gordon collected the money yet? Sent: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 09:32:49 Dear Mr Ray, I am surprised and disappointed not to have received a response to the email I sent you yesterday. What is going on at your end? Has Mr Gordon collected the money from your local Western Union agent? If you ask me, Mr Ray, you are in dire need of a course in business etiquette. When conducting a business transaction like this, it is customary to respond to your customers' emails in a prompt and timely manner. To not respond at all - as you do - is, to be quite frank, simply rude. Stop being so ignorant. Kindly get back to me immediately and give me an update on the situation. Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Has Mr Gordon collected the money yet? Sent: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 10:28:53 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I received your mail, thank you. I am very sorry for not responding to your mail promptly. Please note, Mr Gordon has not received the money. The Western Union told him that the MTCN number he gave them is not in their system. Please can you check back with them and let me know. Thank you, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: A suggestion Sent: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 16:01:36 Dear Mr Ray, Thank you for your email. While I am pleased to see that I have actually managed coax a response out of you for once, I am considerably less pleased to hear that your associate Mr Gordon has failed to pick up the money I transferred to him. I can only assume that there is some problem with the Western Union network - if you remember, I did mention that my Western Union agent seemed to be having some problems with her computer when I transferred the money. Perhaps the money is just taking a little time to make its way through the system. Let us give it a little more time. I suggest that you instruct Mr Gordon to return to the Western Union agent tomorrow morning to see if the money has come through by then. Let me know how he gets on. If the money is still unavailable, let me know, and I will check things out with my own Western Union agent first thing on Monday morning. I am sure that this will just be a little glitch and that we will be able to sort it out easily. Get back to me before Monday morning and let me know how Mr Gordon gets on. Wishing you a pleasant weekend. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: A suggestion Sent: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 12:07:58 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, We received your mail, thank you. Mr Gordon will go back today and we will update you with the outcome. Thank you, William Ray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: A suggestion Sent: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 14:23:49 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, Mr Gordon has gone back to the Western Union. The funds are still not available. Please endeavour to contact them on Monday as you said. Yours truly, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: Problem solved Sent: Mon, 25 Apr 2005 12:27:19 Dear Mr Ray, I am terribly sorry for the problems that you and Mr Gordon have been having trying to collect the money that I transferred to you. Please accept my abject apologies, and pass them onto Mr Gordon. Anyway, I am pleased to be able to tell you that I have found out what the problem was, and sorted it out. I went into town first thing this morning and went straight to the Western Union agent, where I explained the situation. I insisted on speaking to the manager: it generally helps to get things sorted out if you go straight to the top. Well, the manager looked into it and found that the computer problems they have been experiencing had resulted in my transfer getting "stuck in the system". The manager did explain to me what had happened, but it was all a bit technical and way over my head. Something about a new computer centre causing "internet connectivity" problems in the Western Union network. I didn't really understand it, to tell the truth. Anyway, the upshot of all this is that the manager has solved the problem, and he assured me that Mr Gordon will now be able to collect the money from his local agent. He even refunded half of the Western Union fee I paid as a gesture of goodwill. I am terribly sorry about all this, Mr Ray. However, you will no doubt be as pleased as I am to hear that the money will now be available to Mr Gordon. Please send Mr Gordon to pick up the money as soon as possible, and let me know as soon as it is in your safekeeping. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Problem solved Sent: Mon, 25 Apr 2005 11:37:24 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, I received your mail, thank you. This morning my local time, I sent Mr Gordon to the Western Union. Unfortunately the payment is not there yet. Can you please contact them again and see what is going on. If they are having problems sending your payment across, you might want to try another location or use MoneyGram. Thank you, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: This is most distressing news Sent: Mon, 25 Apr 2005 16:58:28 Dear Mr Ray, This is most distressing news. I cannot apologise enough for the problems we are having. I simply do not know what the problem could be this time; the manager of my local Western Union agency gave me his absolute assurance that the money had gone through successfully this time. Unfortunately, it is too late for me to do anything about this today. However, I will go back to my Western Union agent again first thing in the morning and sort this thing out once and for all. If I have no joy at the Western Union agency, I will do as you suggest and use an alternative method to get the money to you. However, let us give Western Union one more chance to get things right. I will get back to you tomorrow as soon as I return from town. Please, once again, pass on my apologies to Mr Gordon. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: This is most distressing news Sent: Mon, 25 Apr 2005 12:11:36 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, I received your mail, thank you. Until tomorrow. Thank you, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: The problem is now definitely resolved Sent: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 12:03:11 Dear Mr Ray, I have just returned from town, where once again I visited my Western Union agent in order to sort out the problems we have been experiencing over the past few days. Once again, I demanded to see the manager, and I don't mind telling you that I tore a strip off the man. I remonstrated with him severely and made sure that he was fully aware of the inconvenience he was causing to me, you and Mr Gordon. The man could not apologise enough, and gave me his word that he would sort the problem out once and for all. And I am pleased to be able to tell you that he has indeed done so. The manager got on the telephone to the Western Union UK Head Office and spoke to their technical department. He was on the phone with them for a good fifteen minutes. I won't bore you with the technical details of the explanation that he gave me - I don't understand it myself, to be perfectly honest - but suffice to say that the problem is now definitely resolved. The manager explained to me that as Western Union are still experiencing some ongoing network problems - he told me that my transfer has not been the only one to have been affected this week - it is just possible that the MTCN I gave you will still not show up on your local agent's computer. However, this is not a problem, as the manager told me exactly what your Western Union agent needs to do if they still have difficulty accessing details of the transfer. Apparently your agent simply needs to initiate procedure WU-573 on their computer system, entering the money transfer control number that I gave to you. This procedure, which apparently gives the agent access to all transfers that have got "stuck" in the system, will make the transfer available to your agent, meaning that Mr Gordon will be able to collect the money. I am sure you will agree, this is extremely good news. It means that Mr Gordon should be able to collect the money I transferred to him immediately, simply by instructing your Western Union agent to initiate procedure WU-573 and enter the MTCN of the transfer. Please get back to me as soon as Mr Gordon has collected the money from the Western Union agent. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that there are no more problems: this business is taking up far too much of my valuable time. I look forward to hearing from you later today. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: An update on the situation Sent: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 12:09:53 Dear Miss Weewhore, I thought I would send you a quick email and give you an update on the situation. I have transferred the processing and handling fee to Mr Ray, and am now waiting for him to confirm that his colleague Mr Gordon has collected the money. Unfortunately Western Union appears to be having some technical difficulties at the moment, which has meant that Mr Gordon has experienced a few problems in getting his hands on the money, but I am confident that we have now got everything under control. How are you and your brother, my dear girl? I have not heard from you for a while. Tell me, have you taken my advice and started to get some practice in, in preparation for your starring role in African Anal Queen? As you and your brother are both new to the world of anal intercourse, I would seriously advise you both to get in some good practice before you meet your co-star, Dai Hard, in the flesh. I would recommend that you start off with something like a carrot, and once you are comfortable with that, move on to a cucumber. If you pick a fairly large one from your local greengrocer, that should give you a pretty good idea of what you've got to look forward to on the set. Do get back to me and let me know how you are getting on. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: The problem is now definitely resolved Sent: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 11:44:25 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, We received your mail, thank you. Mr Gordon went back again today to the Western Union, still there were no funds. Please can you go back and claim your payment back, this time please send it by MoneyGram. We are not going back to the Western Union. Thank you, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: This is unbelievable Sent: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 17:06:37 Dear Mr Ray, I have just read your last email and I am in a state of disbelief. Do you mean to say that Mr Gordon has still not managed to pick up the money I transferred to him? This is unbelievable. What is going on over there? Did Mr Gordon ask the Western Union agent to initiate procedure WU-573 as I instructed him to? Surely he cannot have done so, or you would have had my money in your hands by now. I am not a happy man, Mr Ray. All these trips to the Western Union office are taking up a good deal of my time. And I expect they must be taking up a lot of your time too. However, I see that there is nothing for it but for me to go to the Western Union agency yet again tomorrow. I will do as you suggest and cancel my transfer. I will then transfer the money to Mr Gordon by some other means. This may take a little time though: as I believe I have mentioned to you already, my nearest MoneyGram agent is quite some distance away. I may pop into my bank and see if my bank manager can suggest any other way to get the money to you. I must say, I had no idea that the seemingly simple task of transferring money from one person to another could be so fraught with difficulties. I will be in touch again tomorrow when I return from town. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: I have transferred the money using an alternative method Sent: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 12:02:68 Dear Mr Ray, I have just returned from town, where I have cancelled the Western Union transfer I made to Mr Gordon. I have to say, the manager of the Western Union office was at a loss to explain why Mr Gordon was still unable to collect the money. He said he was certain that procedure WU-573 would have solved any remaining problem with the transfer. He even went so far as to say that perhaps your own Western Union agent - or indeed Mr Gordon himself - did not know what they were doing. Anyway, I am happy to say that all of these problems are now behind us, because I have transferred the money to Mr Gordon using an alternative method. I called in to see my bank manager, Nat West, and explained the situation to him. Fortunately, he was able to suggest an alternative method of money transfer: the Guaranteed International Money Provision Service (GIMPS). Mr West assured me that GIMPS is accepted in all of the major Canadian banks; in fact, he told me that it is part of the international Visa network, so it is accepted in any bank around the world that accepts Visa. Apparently the money is transferred instantly using GIMPS, so it is rather like Western Union. Using GIMPS, the recipient (Mr Gordon) must go to a bank and ask the cashier for a GIMPS form, which they then fill in with details provided by the sender (me) in order to collect the money. GIMPS sounded absolutely ideal for our purposes: using GIMPS, Mr Gordon should be able to access the money immediately. I have attached a copy of the GIMPS receipt to this email. Mr Gordon simply needs to go to a bank - one that accepts Visa, and therefore GIMPS, of course - ask for a GIMPS form and complete it with the following information: Sender's name: Gilbert Arnold Murray Account number: 74053275 Sort code: 21-38-19 Account holding bank: Bartletts Bank PLC, 14 Slocombe Street, Lincoln, Lincolnshire, UK GIMPS code: 23F-57T-674G I have attached the GIMPS receipt to this email. I trust that Mr Gordon will be able to collect the money without any further cock-ups. I certainly hope so: all this travelling to and from town is taking up a lot of my time. Please let me know as soon as the money is in your possession. I expect to hear from you later today. Best regards, Gilbert Murray  From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I have transferred the money using an alternative method Sent: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 10:31:59 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, We received your mail, thank you. We cannot receive your payment, because we don't have such a company here and we don't know about them. Can you please send your payment by MoneyGram is better? Thank you, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: What do you mean, you can't receive my payment? Sent: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 16:55:28 Dear Mr Ray, I have just read your email. Frankly, I am confused. What do you mean, you can't receive my payment? My bank manager told me that GIMPS was accepted at all the major Canadian banks. It's part of the worldwide Visa network, for God's sake, so how can you possibly be having difficulties getting your hands on my money? Are you sure Mr Gordon knows what he's doing? Has he actually been to a bank with his GIMPS receipt and asked for a GIMPS form as per my instructions? He can't have done; otherwise my money would be safely in your possession by now. I have already told you that my nearest MoneyGram agent is a long way away. I am a busy man, and I want to avoid having to travel all that distance if I can possibly avoid it. Here's what you need to do. Tell Mr Gordon to take the GIMPS receipt to a large bank - one that accepts Visa - ask the cashier for a GIMPS form, and pick up my money. That's all there is to it. How hard can it possibly be to fill in a form? I've given you all the details you need. I am growing tired of these delays. I am travelling abroad on business within the next day or so to negotiate distribution rights for my company's videos in the North American market, so we need to get this sorted out before I leave. As I see it, there is no reason whatsoever why Mr Gordon should not be able to access my money via GIMPS. Tell the man to buck his ideas up and get down to the bank, and get back to me as soon as he has picked up the money. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: What do you mean, you can't receive my payment? Sent: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 12:13:49 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, We received your mail, thank you. Please send your payment by MoneyGram. The GIMPS does not work here. Thank you, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: Very well, I will see what I can do Sent: Thu, 28 Apr 2005 09:28:57 Dear Mr Ray, I am at a loss to explain this. My bank assured me that the GIMPS network was operational in Canada. I see it is up to me to sort this out again. Very well, I will see what I can do. I will go back to the bank this morning and get back to you when I return. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: I have transferred the money via MoneyGram Sent: Thu, 28 Apr 2005 12:01:18 Dear Mr Ray, I have just returned from town, where I cancelled the GIMPS transfer I made yesterday. I spoke to my bank manager - who still insists that the GIMPS network is operational in Canada - and asked for advice on an alternative method of getting your fee to you. Mr West advised me that there is an upper limit on the amount that you can transfer via MoneyGram, so I would not be able to transfer your fee to you in one go if I were to use MoneyGram's standard service. However, he did tell me about a new service that MoneyGram have recently set up, called the Transglobal Worldwide Automated Transfer System. Apparently this service has been set up specifically to provide a transfer service that has no upper limit, and the money can be collected at any MoneyGram agency. This new system is slightly more expensive than the standard MoneyGram service, but I thought that it would be worth it if it meant that we could get everything sorted out today. Therefore, I have transferred the money to Mr Gordon using MoneyGram's Transglobal Worldwide Automated Transfer System. The payment slip is attached to this email. The system is broadly similar to Western Union in the way it works: all Mr Gordon needs to do is to take the attached copy of the payment slip to any MoneyGram agent and answer a test question and answer, which are as follows: Test question: Favourite fruit? Answer: Peach Mr Gordon will also need to confirm my full name and address. I believe that you have these details already, but just in case you do not, here they are: Name: Gilbert Arnold Murray Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK Apparently Mr Gordon may be asked to show some form of identification. If so, something like a passport, a driving licence or a recent utility bill should suffice. Please send Mr Gordon to collect the money as soon as possible and get back to me as soon as he returns with it. Then perhaps we can make some progress at last. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. My travel plans for the next few days have now firmed up. I am flying over to New York tomorrow afternoon and I will be spending a few days there in negotiations with a number of North American video distributors. With this in mind, it would be marvellous if we could conclude our business by tomorrow afternoon: otherwise, it will have to wait until sometime late next week.  From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray Subject: Has Mr Gordon collected the money yet? Sent: Thu, 28 Apr 2005 16:13:17 Dear Mr Ray, What is going on at your end? Has Mr Gordon collected the money from the MoneyGram agent yet? Time is running out, Mr Ray. If we are going to conclude our business before I leave for New York tomorrow, you simply must keep me up to date with what is going on. Kindly get back to me immediately with an update on the situation. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: William Ray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I have transferred the money via MoneyGram Sent: Thu, 28 Apr 2005 13:13:55 -0400 (EDT) Dear sir, We received your mail, thank you. Unfortunately, when Mr Gordon went to the MoneyGram it was another disappointment. They don't have a clue about the Transglobal Worldwide Automated Transfer System. Please note, we enquired from MoneyGram and they confirmed that you can send the amount at one time. If you cannot send it by MoneyGram, we wouldn't attend to it again. Thank you, William Ray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I will sort this out once and for all Sent: Fri, 29 Apr 2005 10:13:19 Dear Mr Ray, Good God, man, what on earth are you and Mr Gordon playing at? I have transferred your fee to you using three different internationally-recognised methods of money transfer, and yet each time you have completely failed to pick up the money. What is going on over there? Does Mr Gordon know what the hell he is doing? I have to say, it doesn't seem very much like it from where I'm standing. Thanks to your ineptitude, I now have no time left to transfer your fee to you this week: I have to leave for the airport in an hour's time in order to catch my flight to New York. I have wasted a lot of my time over the past week transferring money to you in one form or another, and I am extremely unhappy that you have managed to foul things up every single time. How is this possible? I mean, how difficult can it possibly be to collect some money, for God's sake? Well, as the old saying goes, if you want something doing right, do it yourself. As you and Mr Gordon obviously cannot cope with handling a simple money transfer, I will get your fee to you in such a way that you cannot possibly mess things up: I will deliver it to you in person. Looking on the map, New York isn't all that far away from Toronto. I have your office address - 112 King Street West - so once I have completed my business in New York I will book myself onto a flight from New York to Toronto and visit your offices in order to hand over your fee to you in person. I presume that once you have your fee, we will be able to sort out all the rest of the details there and then, and that we will be able to arrange for the consignment to be transferred into my nominated bank account. I'm not entirely sure how long my business in New York will take, but I imagine I should be able to fly over to Toronto sometime early next week. I will contact you when I've arrived at the airport and we can arrange to meet up. I look forward to seeing you next week. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I am taking matters into my own hands Sent: Thu, 29 Apr 2005 10:16:52 Dear Miss Weewhore, As you will no doubt have seen from my last email to Mr Ray, he has still not managed to pick up his fee, despite the fact that I have transferred it to him using three different methods. Between you and I, my dear girl, Mr Ray and his assistant Mr Gordon don't seem to be the sharpest tools in the box. God only knows how they manage to run a security company when they can't even manage to pick up a bit of money that's been transferred to them. Well, I have decided to take matters into my own hands. I am travelling to New York today to negotiate the distribution rights for my videos in the North American market. Once I have concluded my business in New York, I am going to fly over to Toronto and meet up with Mr Ray, so that I can hand over his fee in person. Given his lamentable performance this week, I can't see any other way of moving this business forward. I am sure you will agree, this is excellent news. This time next week, I am confident that this entire transaction will be done and dusted. I hope you and your brother are both well and that the cucumber practice isn't proving too painful. Trust me, my dear, it'll be worth it in the end. I will get back to you once I return from Canada next week and let you know what the situation is. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: What the hell is going on? Sent: Tue, 03 May 2005 14:52:35 Mr Ray, I would like to know what the hell is going on, sir. Having completed my business in New York, I did as I said and booked myself onto a flight to Toronto, where I landed early this morning. I got myself a cab and asked the driver to take me directly to your offices. It took me an age to get from Pearson International Airport to the city centre: the roadworks on Highway 427 and the Gardiner Expressway caused horrendous traffic problems, which got worse the closer we got to the centre. Anyway, we eventually got into the city centre (or "downtown" as I believe you Canadians call it), and the cab driver took me straight to King Street West. Well, Mr Ray, I am sure that you can imagine my surprise when the cab driver and I discovered that your supposed address, 112 King Street West, DOES NOT EXIST. There is a 100 King Street West, but there is no 112 King Street West; the next number on the street is 130 King Street West. In fact these two addresses share the same building, so there is no room whatsoever between them for a number 112. I checked over the road to be sure, but there was no 112 over there either; the numbers on that side of the road go straight from 77 to 121. I took a few quick snaps of the street to show you. I've attached them to this email. I was confused, so I went into the foyer of 130 King Street West, which seemed to contain a number of financial institutions: I thought you may have got your address slightly wrong. But when I checked on the business directory in the foyer, there was no mention of your business at all - see the attached picture. I asked a passing worker, and she said she had never heard of you or your company either. So, I went into the entrance of 100 King Street West, to see if your business could possibly be located in there, but I didn't have any joy there either. It seemed to be some sort of shopping mall. I talked to a security guard in the mall. He checked his records, and he had no record whatsoever of your company. The security guard suggested that I call the local Toronto directory assistance service (411) to see if they could help to locate you. They looked you up and found that they had no phone number registered for your company. What's more, they were also unable to locate your supposed address in their database. What the hell is going on, Mr Ray? I have travelled all the way to Toronto to see you in person, yet your office doesn't actually seem to exist. I am extremely confused. Perhaps I have the wrong King Street West? I have to say, I doubt that, as the cab driver assured me that there wasn't another one in Toronto. Perhaps you have printed completely the wrong address on your office stationery - although this seems equally unlikely. Whatever the truth of the matter, we need to get this business sorted out, Mr Ray. I have your fee here with me, in Toronto, in cash, and I am keen to get it to you and have done with your somewhat shadowy company once and for all. I am also keen to receive some sort of an explanation from you. Having completely failed to locate your company, I asked the cab driver - who was just as confused as I was - to take me to a decent hotel. I have therefore booked myself into a hotel which is about ten minutes' walk away from the location of your alleged office: the Royal York FairMont. This is where I will be staying for the next couple of days: seeing as I have taken the trouble to travel all the way to Toronto, I have decided to stay for a while and see the sights. I have your processing fee here in my briefcase. Kindly respond to this email immediately so that we can make arrangements to conclude our business. I would hate to think that I had wasted my time, coming all the way over here to see you in person. I am waiting to hear from you. Gilbert Murray     From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Do you know what on earth is going on? Sent: Tue, 03 May 2005 15:01:21 Dear Miss Weewhore, No doubt by now you will have read the email I have just sent to Mr Ray. Do you know what on earth is going on, my dear girl? I am completely confused. I have travelled all the way to Toronto to sort this business out, only to find that Mr Ray's business address does not actually exist and that the Toronto directory assistance service has no record of Mr Ray, his company, or their supposed address. Can you shed any light on this matter? I have looked all over King Street West for Mr Ray and his security company. I have sought him here, I have sought him there, I have sought the Melba Financial Credit Union everywhere. If you ask me, the Scarlet Pimpernel Financial Credit Union would be a better name for the company. What on earth was your poor late father thinking of, entrusting his fortune to a company that seems only to exist in Mr Ray's imagination? Are you sure that he was in full possession of his mental faculties when he deposited the money with Mr Ray and his elusive securiry company? Anyway, hopefully this has all just been an unfortunate misunderstanding, and hopefully Mr Ray will be able to explain things satisfactorily. I have informed Mr Ray that I will be in Toronto for the next few days, and asked him to contact me so that we can get everything sorted out once and for all. I have the man's fee here with me in my briefcase, so hopefully we will be able to arrange a meeting within the next day or so. Incidentally, my dear girl, I am pleased to be able to tell you that I have successfully negotiated distribution rights for my company's videos in the North American market... and African Anal Queen will be the first video to be released over there, later this year. This means you will soon be a star, my dear, not only in Europe, but in the United States as well! Time to get in some good hard practice with that cucumber, don't you think? Let me know how you're getting on with it, won't you? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Cc: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Respond immediately, or wave goodbye to me and my money Sent: Wed, 04 May 2005 14:31:28 Mr Ray, I am extremely disappointed to see that you have not had the courtesy to get back to me, even with the knowledge that I am now in your home city. I am giving you one last chance. Either you respond immediately so that we can make arrangements to meet up and conclude our business, or you can wave goodbye to me and my money. I am in Toronto until tomorrow. You know where I am staying. I have had enough of being messed around by you. Get back to me at once, or we are finished. Incidentally, it looks as if my trip to Toronto will not have been wasted after all, even if we don't end up meeting up. I met a charming African businessman in the hotel lounge, a Mr Abacha, and he's put forward a most interesting business proposal... one that sounds extremely lucrative. If I don't hear back from you today, I shall be using the money I brought over to pay your fee to invest in the scheme that Mr Abacha is proposing. It is now up to you, Mr Ray. If you don't get back to me now, not only will you be letting yourself down, you will be letting me down and you will be letting Miss Weewhore down. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I popped out for a touch of sightseeing yesterday afternoon. I must say, the view from the top of the CN Tower was breathtaking. You could see the whole city from the top. Mind you, I still couldn't spot 112 King Street West, even from that vantage point... From: Gilbert Murray To: William Ray; Lisa Wiwoor Subject: I have decided to invest my money with Mr Abacha instead Sent: Thu, 05 May 2005 10:14:51 Mr Ray, I warned you. Since I have not heard from you or your shady so-called "security company" since my arrival in Toronto and my failure to find your offices, I have decided to invest my money with that nice Mr Abacha instead. This is your loss. And as for you, Miss Weewhore, I am disappointed not to have heard from you for so long. Given your lack of communication, I'm sorry to have to say that I have reconsidered my decision to cast you and your brother in the lead roles in my new African Anal Queen video. You are just too unreliable. In conclusion, I am sorry to have to tell you both that you can go and shove your business proposal in the same place as I advised Miss Weewhore to shove a large cucumber. And much good may it do you. Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Thank you! Sent: Fri, 06 May 2005 14:10:42 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert, It is quite a pity you were about using me for your interest, which is only what you cared for and not what would have been favourable to me also. How could you tell me you paid money through Western Union money transfer, but for more than a week it could not be traced in the bank? Mr Gilbert, you can tell that to the birds of the air. I did not blame you, I regretted all my actions. You really insulted me very much. You sent me a forged payment slip of Western Union. I convinced my lawyer to travel to Canada to sort it out with the Melba financial firm, only to find out with Mr William Ray that you did not pay any money to the bank through Western Union. Our family lawyer spent one week waiting for the confirmation of your payment, all in vain. Well I thank God that you were able to find someone to invest into your project. All I have to say to you is good luck to you with your Mr Abacha. If you were not making nonsense of me, you would have suggested to pay through our family lawyer, who will travel with it. By now the transaction should have been over. I hope I will have the opportunity to speak to you on the phone one day. Now, I remember that from the beginning of this transaction, you said your telephone communication had problems, so up till this moment the UK London of excellence could not fix or repair their communication pole-wire, struck down by thunder storm. This is a shame to a developed country. Thank you for ever considering communicating with me from the start of this proposal, and extend my warmest greeting to your friend and colleague, Elizabeth. If it is the will of God that we can conclude this transaction or be of use to ourselves, so be it. God bless you, Miss Lisa Jomal Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Have you been taking any notice of what I've been telling you? Sent: Mon, 09 May 2005 09:49:57 Dear Miss Weewhore, Have you been taking any notice of what I've been telling you? I can only assume that you have not, going by the contents of your last email. You seem to be accusing me of some sort of dishonest dealing. In reality, I am the one who has been messed around here, Miss Weewhore. Did you not read the emails I copied to you from Toronto? Did you not see the pictures I took which proved that Mr Ray's so-called "security company" was about as real as your chance of ever making it in the adult video industry? I travelled all the way to Toronto to finalise this transaction, after Mr Ray and his colleague turned out to be too stupid to collect the money I had transferred to them... and, I'll have you know, I tried transferring the money using no less than three different internationally-recognised methods. Why they could not access the money using at least one of them is beyond me. Mind you, seeing as this "security company" turned out to be completely bogus when I arrived in Toronto, I can only count myself lucky that Mr Ray was too wooden-headed to actually get his hands on my money. I've been talking to my lawyer, Welsby, since I got back from Toronto, and he has been doing some investigation into this matter. He's come to the conclusion that this whole affair is nothing but an elaborate scam, perpetrated by you and Mr Ray, with the sole intention of defrauding me of my money. Welsby tells me that this kind of thing is quite widespread, and that it is commonly referred to as a "419 scam". In Welsby's esteemed opinion, your passport is forged, your real name is probably not Lisa Weewhore, and you are probably not even a woman. Welsby tells me that you are far more likely to be nothing but a stupid, sweaty conman who spends his time sitting in internet cafes trying to defraud people out of their hard-earned money. Is this true, Miss Weewhore? Are you, in actual fact, nothing but a stupid, sweaty conman? Shame on you. I can only count my lucky stars that I bumped into that nice Mr Abacha. At least he seems like a man you can trust. The way I see it, "Miss Weewhore", you owe me for the return flight I took from New York and Toronto. That flight cost me $650. If you are really who you say you are, you can prove it by sending the money to me, via Western Union money transfer. Send it using the following details: Recipient's name: Gilbert Arnold Murray Recipient's address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK Test question: Miss Weewhore's true profession? Test answer: A 419 scammer Don't forget to send me the MTCN and a scanned copy of the payment slip as soon as you have made the transfer, will you? Gilbert Murray From: Lisa Wiwoor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: RE: Have you been taking any notice of what I've been telling you? Sent: Mon, 23 May 2005 11:38:57 -0400 (EDT) Dear Gilbert, I am sorry for not responding to your mail immediately, please accept my apologies. I took ill for some time, but I'm getting better now. The mandate and the custody of the fund has been removed from the Melba Financial Union, Canada, to the African Development Bank (ADB). The ADB will now effect this payment by remittance to the bank of your choice. The Foreign Operations Director has informed me that their correspondent bank in Holland has been instructed to remit the fund to you. I considered this very option preferable to the initial payment arrangement through Canada. This will save you the cost and time of travelling. It is now necessary for you to forward your bank account information. I was at the African Development Bank office last Friday and the Director of Foreign Operations informed me that Holland has advised that a bill of $300,000, being the official cost of vetting, reconciliation and normalisation in the remittance file, will be paid. In order to avoid delay and saddling you with expenses, we have arranged a financier who will loan this $300,000. However, if you are able to pay this bill, go on, otherwise, let's use the financier. The change in the payment plan and indeed every other arrangement has been done considering the behaviour they put up in Canada. I expect your quick response to this mail. Thanks and best regards, Miss Lisa Wiwoor From: Gilbert Murray To: Lisa Wiwoor Subject: Are you out of your tiny mind, Miss Weewhore? Sent: Tue, 24 May 2005 09:32:32 Dear Miss Weewhore, I have to say, I was amazed to receive another email from you. I was even more amazed when I read its contents. You seem to have completely disregarded everything that has happened over the past few months, and now you seem to be putting some completely new harebrained scheme to me. May I remind you, Miss Weewhore, that I travelled all the way to Toronto to attempt to visit "Mr Ray", only to discover that his shady so-called "security company" didn't actually exist. That flight cost me $650, and that doesn't take account of all the time I wasted over there. How am I going to recoup this money I have lost, thanks to you? Are you going to give me the $650 to pay for my flight? May I also remind you, Miss Weewhore, that you accused me of some sort of dishonest dealing. I am still waiting to receive an apology from you for that. On top of this, you completely let me down over the matter of who was going to star in the new adult video I am going to produce, based on your life story, African Anal Queen. I offered you stardom on a plate, but as you proved so unreliable, I have since started to search for an alternative actor to play your role. My search continues. And, as if this wasn't enough, do you not remember that my lawyer, Welsby, advised me that you were probably nothing more than a 419 scammer? How do you answer this, Miss Weewhore? And what is this new madcap caper you are proposing? Are you now telling me that you have managed to move this money out of the non-existent security in Canada to a bank in Holland? What about this Dutch bank? Does that exist, or is that a figment of your imagination too? And what is this $300,000 you are asking me to pay? Do you think I am made of money? What makes you think I will be willing to spend another penny on this business, when I have lost so much already, all thanks to you? Are you out of your tiny mind, Miss Weewhore? If you are serious about moving forward with this transaction, which I thought we had left dead in the water almost a month ago, you will have to prove to me that you are for real, and that you are not some pathetic 419 scammer. You will also have to provide me with some form of proof that this money is now deposited in Holland. A copy of a transfer slip or a deposit slip should do the trick. If you are indeed serious about this, get back to me at once with answers to my questions and with proof of what you are claiming. If not, kindly stop wasting my time. Gilbert Murray Many thanks are due to Harjot of Toronto, whose local knowledge (and digital camera) proved invaluable during Gilbert's "visit" to Toronto. Copyright 2003-2025 www.gilbertmurray.co.uk. All rights reserved. Copyright notice |
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