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The Gypping in the Marsh Village Website Gypping in the Marsh in Times Past
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Home - The Chronicles - The Brewer The BrewerIn which Gilbert Murray attempts to claim the funds of a sadly-deceased Iranian oil merchant as his own. Will the security company believe that Gilbert is the brother of an Iranian man with a completely different surname? In the world of 419 scammers, the answer to that is obviously yes. Cast of characters
From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PLEASE CONSIDER THIS Sent: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:17:50 -0700 (PDT) DEAR FRIEND, I am contacting you today for a profitable business proposal. My name is WILLIAMS MBAH. I am the personal assistant to late Mr Muhammad El-Sahedi. El-Sahedi was an oil merchant from Iran but resident in Nigeria. He carried on his oil and petroleum transactions from Nigeria but exported to overseas. El-Sahedi died recently in Iran as a result of the earthquake that hit that country. He died along with his whole family. Apart from being his personal assistant I was also his best friend and confidant. I was therefore in a position to know all his financial transactions as he trusted me. Mr Sahedi had a deposit of $40.5 million with a famous security and finance company here which I want you to help me receive and transfer into your bank account till I come over to join you for sharing and investment as you may direct me. If you agree to assist me, I WILL GIVE YOU all the details of the transaction and the process of receiving the funds because you will act as the next of kin to MR SAHEDI. For assisting me in this business you will take 20% of THE $40.5 MILLION as your share and I will take 70% as my share while the remaining 10% will take care of the expenses we may insure at the process of the transaction. You will keep my share for me till I join you in your country a few weeks after the transfer is made. I want you to understand that I am not a dishonest man. I am only doing this because if the security company discovers that Mr Sahedi and all his relations are dead, they will turn over the money to government and this will not help me. Please note that there is no risk in this business as no relation of Mr Sahedi is alive today and the security firm does not know he is dead. When you transfer the money the security firm will assume it is Mr Sahedi's next of kin who is doing the transfer because I will provide you with his letters of administration to empower you as his next of kin. It was when I LEARNT OF his death that I went to his room to search for the paperwork (documents) relating to the said deposit. I found them in a concealed (secret) drawer in his bedroom. Please reply to this message soonest. Yours sincerely, WILLIAMS MBAH From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Re: PLEASE CONSIDER THIS Sent: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 08:45:35 Dear Mr Bah, How on earth did you get hold of my personal email address, and what is this fresh nonsense? Explain yourself, man, and at once if you please. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE Sent: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 01:29:14 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, It gives me so much joy that you understood what I meant. Also I am happy that you have decided to assist me. Let me assure you that this business is risk free and there is nothing you should fear about because I will arrange and package it in such a way that the two of us will enjoy a good family/business relationship that will extend to generations to come. All that is expected of you now is to forward to me the following to enable me to secure some documents that will back the business legally. They are as follows:
Also scan and send to me via email attachment the first two pages of your international passport or your driver's licence. The moment I receive the above information I will proceed to process the movement of the funds to you before I will then plan how to join you in your country for sharing and investment. My phone number is +234-80-59881154. Possibly call me for more details. Regards, WILLIAMS MBAH From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I don't understand Sent: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 14:30:27 Dear Mr Bah, I have just read the last email you sent to me. I have to say, Mr Bah, although the proposal you're putting forward is rather tempting - I am on the lookout for some money to fund the expansion of my business at the moment, and my bank isn't being very co-operative - it all sounds a bit fishy to me. For one thing, why do you need my help to get your hands on your late employer's money? And why on earth did you contact me - a complete stranger - on this matter? You don't know me from Adam. And one more thing: how on earth is the security company going to believe that I'm this El-Sahedi's next of kin, when I'm not even Iranian? And won't we get into terrible trouble if we get found out? I mean, the money's not actually ours, is it? I've got my reputation to think of, Mr Bah. I'm a well-respected local businessman - the brewery that I own and run has been in my family for generations - and I couldn't afford to get into trouble with the authorities. I've got serious concerns about this whole endeavour, Mr Bah. I'll need some pretty firm assurances from you that nothing can go wrong before I'm willing to go any further down this road. If you think you can reassure me on the points I've raised, get back to me as soon as you can, and I'll think things over this weekend. Once I've heard from you, if I decide I want to proceed, I'll get back to you next week. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THIS IS SIMPLE AND STRAIGHT Sent: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 07:42:42 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Let me first of all thank you for your understanding. Now I am giving you 100% assurance that this deal is not risky because it is very legal that when time comes I will scan and send to you all the related documents about the $40.5 million because they are with me right now. Another point is that already a lawyer is standing by that as soon as I receive from you all the informations that I requested for in my last mail to you we will start with the process of getting the LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION in your name as the next of kin/beneficiary to the $40.5 million. All I need from you is your full co-operation and understanding. This is a deal that I have perfected with the OPERATIONS MANAGER of the security company where the funds was deposited only that I do not have any foreign contact/friend who will come in to transfer the funds in his name. I want you to be rest assured that this is a straight deal, risk free and genuine. I am here processing this deal and monitoring it. To tell you how far I have gone, I am already in talks with some diplomats attached to the presidency who have accepted to deliver the consignment containing the funds cash for us in EUROPE where we will now clear, sign and collect before lodging it in a bank of our choice to avoid paying taxes, charges, traces etc that follows international money transfers. Just keep this secret for now. Do not discuss it and let us smile soonest. My phone number remains +234-80-59881154. Call me and let us talk in details. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I'll consider what you have told me over the weekend Sent: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 15:56:32 Dear Mr Bah, Thanks for your email. This may all seem "simple and straight" to you, but it all sounds rather complicated to me: I'm a simple country brewer, and the world of international finance is something of a mystery to me. Nevertheless, you seem to know what you are talking about. I'll consider what you have told me over the weekend and get back to you early next week. Do have a pleasant weekend. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: I WILL BE WAITING Sent: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 23:24:56 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, As soon as you conclude by having a deep thought over my proposal do contact me by mail and phone so that we move on. Have a nice weekend. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I am willing to move forward Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 09:30:02 Dear Mr Bah, How are you, my dear fellow? I trust that you had a pleasant weekend. I thought long and hard about your proposal this weekend, and I am pleased to be able to tell you that as long as you are absolutely sure that getting myself involved in this business isn't going to get me into trouble with the law, I am happy to move forward. As I mentioned to you last week, I have been looking for the funds to expand my business for some time now. I run a small brewery that has been in the family for generations, but it has long suffered from a lack of inward investment. The bottling machinery is old and needs replacing, the brewhouse is in need of a comprehensive refit, and I would like to be able to increase our capacity to enable us to brew a new range of ales that will allow us to compete with the big players in the market. This proposal of yours sounds as if it will provide me with all the capital I will need to develop my business. So, Mr Bah, where do we go from here? Please get back to me by return with details of our next step. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: I WILL BE WAITING Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:42:23 -0700 (PDT) GOOD MORNING. I feel so happy to read your go ahead mail this morning and as such I am ready to move on with you but with strict warning that you should not discuss this deal with anybody. All I need from you right away is that you should send to me today all the informations that I requested from you in my second mail to you so that with those data I will progress with the documentation of all the legal papers with the help of the lawyer. They include:
Please send all this immediately and call me on phone +234-80-59881154. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Find attached three documents Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:54:45 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Please find attached three documents. Please print them out in colours as proof that this money exists and proof that I am not joking. The three documents are:
Please, I am waiting for your call. WILLIAMS  From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: The information you requested Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 13:55:28 Dear Mr Bah, Thank you for your email and for sending me those three documents. I will print them out and look over them this evening after work. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I've been in meetings all morning with my Head Brewer, discussing possible new brews to try out this summer. Anyway, here is the information you requested: Name: Gilbert Arnold Murray Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK Age: 53 Occupation: Managing Director, Murray's Brewery Marital status: Married (to Elizabeth) Telephone/fax: 01927 58367 Unfortunately, there's a bit of a problem with my telephone line at the moment: a delivery driver backed his lorry into a telegraph pole last week and it brought down the telephone lines to the brewery and to my house. I'm trying to get this sorted out as we speak, but there's a bit of a debate over exactly who's responsible - me, the phone company or the company that the delivery driver works for - and until we can work out who's responsible, the phone company won't come out and fix the line. I'm hoping that this will be resolved later in the week. Until then, I suggest we carry on conversing via email if that's alright with you... well, I don't see that we have much alternative. Let me know. I trust that's OK with you. Please let me know. Oh, I've attached a scanned copy of my passport to this email as you requested. So, where do we go from here? Is there anything I need to do at this end Mr Bah? Best regards, Gilbert Murray  From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Is this some kind of joke? Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 15:42:39 Dear Mr Bah, I have just tried printing out those three documents you sent me. Is this some kind of joke? Each one is about the size of a bloody postage stamp, and it's impossible to make out a single word on any of them. You told me that these documents would prove that the money exists and that you are not joking. All these miniscule documents seem to prove is that you don't know how to work your computer very well. I am a busy man Mr Bah. Please send me proper copies of the documents by return so that I can print them out and have a look at them. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: OK Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 08:20:31 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Thanks a lot for the informations though your passport was a half page and not fully as the lawyer requested but I printed it out for him to rush before the High Court dismisses for the day's work because we are targeting to secure the LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION on or before the end of work on WEDNESDAY. I also gave him all the accompanied informations you sent for the processing of letters of administration in your name as the next of kin/beneficiary to the $40.5 million. Please GILBERT, I want to make one correction, my name is MR WILLIAMS MBAH and not BAH as you use to write or address me. Please take note. I understood what you said about your telephone but I want you also to understand that a transaction of this magnitude ($40.5 million) requires that you and I have to be on constant phone discussions to avoid any mistake and to have proper co-ordination. I suggest that for now you can buy a cellphone and be calling me from there until you sort out with the phone company. Gilbert, please you have to zoom those certificates with your computer to be able to print them out in full pages as you requested because I did the same to print out the passport you sent to me even though in black and white. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attached are the three certificates again Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 08:38:55 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, HERE ARE ATTACHED AGAIN THE THREE CERTIFICATES. ZOOM THEM AND PRINT THEM OUT IN COLOURS. WILLIAMS    From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Send this application immediately Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 08:55:03 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, I FEEL so happy to see your reply this afternoon and as such I prefer we progress immediately because I want us to conclude this deal before the end of the first week in May. To this effect I want you to forward this application to the SECURITY/FINANCE COMPANY where the funds was deposited immediately so that they will start treating our case first thing tomorrow morning. Please forward this application to them through the OPERATIONS MANAGER via the departmental email address as follows: operglobalfirm@tygo.com. I drafted it from the information you supplied to me and I want you to send it to the security/finance company where the $40.5 million was deposited. The email address where you will send it is operglobalfirm@tygo.com. Please direct the application to the MANAGER OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT.
From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Should I get my lawyer involved in this business? Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 09:41:16 Dear Mr Bah, Thank you for sending me those documents again. I was pleased to see that you'd got it right this time. I did try zooming in on the original copies that you sent, but they were simply too small. You obviously hadn't scanned them in correctly. Might I suggest that once we have completed this transaction, it may be worth your while taking a night class in computing? You might find it useful. I managed to print out the documents yesterday and I had a good look at them last night. Everything seems to be in order from what I can make out. It's certainly good to know that your ex-employer wasn't involved in terrorism or drugs or anything like that. I don't approve of that kind of thing, Mr Bah... especially not drugs. I reckon the rise in drug-taking amongst the youth of today is largely to blame for the decline in beer sales that we've been experiencing for the past few years. It seems that people would rather get off their heads on illegal drugs than smashed on good honest ales nowadays, and that's terribly sad... and not at all good for my profits either. Anyway, while I was looking over those documents you sent me, I started to wonder whether would be worth me getting in touch with my lawyer, Welsby, and seeing if he would be able to help us out with this business. If any legal issues crop up at this end, I thought that it might be useful to have him to hand to deal with them as soon as they arise. Welsby's a fine lawyer, and very well-respected in Lincolnshire legal circles. He also charges extremely reasonable fees. Welsby's got the sharpest legal brain I've ever come across. He proved invaluable last year after an unfortunate incident in which some rotten floorboards gave way above a boiling mash tun during a school trip around the brewery. Welsby worked wonders in the ensuing court case. Not only did he manage to get all charges dropped, he also persuaded the judge to award me costs against the bereaved families. I can't recommend Welsby highly enough. Do you think I ought to contact him and see if he can help us out in this matter, my dear fellow? I am sure he would do an excellent job for us. Do let me know what you think about getting Welsby involved. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: NOT YET Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 03:37:31 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Your suggestion about involving your lawyer is well accepted to me but that is when the $40.5 million has been moved over to the UK because for now the attorney to the security company whom I was introduced to by the OPERATIONS MANAGER is handling every aspect concerning the deal and I have already paid him his consulting fees remaining his legal fees which will be due by end of this week. Please all you will do for me is to make sure that you forward the application to the security company as I drafted and sent to you yesterday so that they will begin with processing of the release of the funds. Another important issue is that I need us to talk on phone as soon as possible. Buy a cellphone today and call me from there so that we can talk because I want to hear your voice, it is important. I forgot to also inform you that I will likely have interest in investing in BREWING, HOTEL AND PROPERTY BUSINESS when this deal is concluded but under your good advice and directives because I do not have any business ideas before now. I have been discussing with a financial consultant who will guide us in lodging the $40.5 million in THE ABN AMRO BANK in AMSTERDAM or MADRID, SPAIN but the Operations Manager who is guiding me says I should wait first until the LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION is out for us to choose where to receive the consignment containing the funds either in AMSTERDAM or MADRID. Send the application and get back to me. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: A question before I send off that application Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 12:15:09 Dear Mr Bah, Thanks for your email. So you don't reckon it's worth troubling Welsby over this business yet, then? Well, fair enough. It sounds as if your own lawyer's got everything under control, so I'll hang fire on contacting Welsby for the moment. Now then, before I send off that application to the security company, there's a question that's been bothering me for a while. You've told me to claim that I'm this Sahedi fellow's brother. But how can we be brothers when we don't even share a surname? Who on earth is going to believe that me, a member of the Church of England who has lived in Lincolnshire all his life had a brother who was born in Iran, had an Iranian name and (going by his name) was a Muslim? It just doesn't make sense, Mr Bah. I certainly wouldn't believe it myself. I might as well claim that Osama Bin-Laden is my father, for heaven's sake. I'm worried about this, Mr Bah. If the person at the security company has got anything more than a couple of brain cells to rub together, I just don't think there's any way they're going to believe that I'm this man's brother. Instead of claiming to be his brother, couldn't we claim that I'm a more distant relative? His second cousin twice removed or something like that? I think that would be far more convincing, and I could still act as the man's next of kin. What do you reckon, Mr Bah? Shall I tell the security company that I'm Sahedi's second cousin twice removed instead? It makes sense to me. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Regarding the telephone situation, there'd be no point in me buying a cellphone; Gypping in the Marsh is a remote little village with a very small population and there's no mobile reception anywhere in the area. I know it's a pain, but I'm afraid we're just going to have to wait until my phone line is fixed. I'm writing a strongly-worded letter to the telephone company this afternoon, so let's see if that does the trick. PPS. I'm delighted to hear that you're interested in investing in the brewing industry. If that's where your interest lies, I'm your man. With your money and my business acumen, we could turn Gypping Ales into a major player in the brewing business. Granted, I haven't managed to turn a profit ever since I inherited the brewery from my father, but with your financial backing we'll be able to afford to stand a few losses on our way to the top. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: A GOOD THOUGHT FROM YOU Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 04:59:55 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Two heads are better than one they say and this is why I have been crying that we talk more on phone so that such issues as this will be solved immediately. I buy your idea of submitting the application to the company as LATE EL-SAHEDI'S SECOND COUSIN to give it a little distance as you suggested. Please send the application immediately and please let me know also between AMSTERDAM and MADRID which you choose because these funds will be diplomatically delivered to the chosen place about this time next week for our signing, clearing and collection. Let me know soonest, I am waiting by my computer. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I will send off the application immediately Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 14:09:16 Dear Mr Bah, Thanks for your email. I'm delighted to hear that you approve of my idea to pass myself off as Mr Sahedi's second cousin twice removed rather than his brother. I will do just that, and I will send off the application immediately. While we're on the subject of good ideas, you'll be pleased to hear that that's not the only one I've had. If you remember, I told you the other day that I had been talking with my Head Brewer, discussing possible new brews to try out this summer. Well given the good turn you're doing me, I thought I'd show my appreciation by naming one of our new summer beers after you. So, I've decided that I'm going to call one of our new beers "Bah's Best Bitter". It's quite a catchy name, don't you think? The alliteration - all those B's - really makes the name stand out. I'm sure it will be a hit with our customers. Those that we have left, anyway. Right, I'll get that application off to the security company now. How is your lawyer getting on in court, by the way? How long do you think it'll be before he gets his hands on those documents we need? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Global Securities and Finance Ltd Subject: APPLICATION FOR THE RELEASE OF MY INHERITED FUNDS Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 14:18:45 THE OPERATIONS MANAGER SIR, APPLICATION FOR THE RELEASE OF MY INHERITED FUNDS I AM Gilbert Arnold Murray of Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK and my EMAIL ADDRESS IS xxxxxx@xxxxxx.com. Telephone/fax: 01927 58367. I am writing to you for the release of my inherited funds which was bequested to me by my late second cousin twice removed (on my mother's side), MUHAMMAD EL-SAHEDI which is currently on deposit with your honourable and well respected firm. The particulars of the deposit is as follows:
I have other related documents which I will send across to prove my genuineness if requested for. I am submitting this application because of my late second cousin twice removed (on my mother's side)'s involvement in the last earthquake which hit in IRAN. Please write me back so that I will know the process of receiving the inheritance. Thanks in anticipation of your co-operation. Yours faithfully, Gilbert Arnold Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: GOOD Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 07:26:31 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, I feel so happy that you have sent out the application as you mentioned. Also I appreciate it also that you have plans to name one of your products after my name but please remember that my name is WILLIAMS MBAH and not BAH as you have been applying. The lawyer and I will be meeting this evening in his chambers for me to know how far he went today but like I told you he promised me that before the end of work tomorrow (Wednesday) that he will get them to authorise and sign the LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION. In fact there is what we call bribe here in this country or greasing of palms, so already he requested for some money to that effect I was able to give him yesterday night so that nothing will bring clog in our wheel of success. No mind us. This is a corrupt society. You did not mention anything regarding the options I gave you about AMSTERDAM and MADRID. One important issue I forgot last time is that the OPERATIONS MANAGER of the security firm who is the person assisting us in this deal is having his SILVER JUBILEE CELEBRATION (25 YEARS IN MARRIAGE) and I have discussed about you with him as the next of kin to my late boss so we have to send him some gift items by then though for now I have not decided what we will give him and his wife but maybe by tomorrow I will decide the things that I will like you to get from there because it is most likely that by the day of the celebration you and I will be in either AMSTERDAM or MADRID sealing our deal. I will write you later after meeting the lawyer. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Sorry for getting your name wrong Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 15:56:27 Dear Mr Mah, I'm terribly sorry for getting your name wrong. I must have been mis-spelling it all the time we've been corresponding with each other. I didn't mean any offence; it's just that my eyesight isn't what it was and I don't wear my spectacles as often as I should when I use the computer. Please forgive me, my dear fellow. That is a terrible shame though: I'm going to have to rethink my idea of naming that beer after you. "Mah's Best Bitter" just doesn't have the same ring to it. That also pulls the chain on another good idea I had this afternoon: I had thought that with the new investment you'd be bringing into my business, we could open up a new chain of smart and fashionable wine bars called "Bah's Bars". I had it all worked out in my head as well. They were going to be completely themed around your name: people would order their drinks at the bah... they'd be served by bahmen and bahmaids... and if they caused any trouble, the bahncers on the doors would sort them out. And if they were really troublesome, they'd be bahhed. Oh well, never mind. I'll just have to think of something else. Anyway, you mentioned that this chap at the security company had a silver wedding anniversary coming up? Good for him. Do send me his name - and his wife's - and I'll buy them an anniversary card. I must go: I've got a meeting with the Maintenance Manager. We've got another infestation of rats in the place, and I need to see how he's proposing to sort it out. It lost us a lot of trade, the last time we had an infestation like this: we had rats falling into the fermentation vessels, and it didn't do much for the flavour of the beer, I can tell you that for nothing. Our customers left us in droves... like rats leaving a sinking ship, you could say. Well, do get back to me after you've caught up with the lawyer. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 07:15:36 -0800 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED ATTN: Gilbert Arnold Murray SIR, We write to acknowledge the receipt of your application in which you are requesting for the release of your inherited funds which was deposited here with us by your late cousin (MUHAMMAD EL-SAHEDI). May we inform you that GLOBAL SECURITIES has her modalities and policies which guides her in such transactions which you are requesting for. Hereunder are the steps you MUST meet up with before your application will be considered and granted: A. YOU ARE EXPECTED TO FORWARD TO US VIA FAX OR EMAIL ATTACHMENT (later (sic) is preferable) ALL THE RELATED DOCUMENTS THAT YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT YOUR CLAIM. B. YOU WILL HAVE TO SEND TO US INNER COPIES OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR ANY OTHER FORM OF IDENTIFICATION WHICH IS ACCEPTED INTERNATIONALLY. C. YOU WILL HAVE TO SEND TO US A COPY OF ANY LEGAL DOCUMENT IN FORM OF LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION (proving that you are legally noted by a court of law here as next of kin/beneficiary to the family treasures deposited by MR MUHAMMAD EL-SAHEDI) AND/OR PROVIDE US WITH A CLARIFIED DEATH CERTIFICATE OF THE DEPOSITOR. E. YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO PAY A PROCESSING AND REGISTRATION FEE OF $9,700 (NINE THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) THROUGH OUR REVENUE COLLECTOR'S ACCOUNT OR THROUGH THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER FOR SPEEDY PROCESSING OF YOUR DATA. F. YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO APPEAR IN PERSON IN OUR HEADQUARTERS OR EMPLOY THE SERVICES OF OUR ACCREDITED ATTORNEYS/LAWYERS TO SIGN THE FINAL RELEASE DOCUMENTS. YOUR ABILITY TO MEET UP WITH THE ABOVE CONDITIONS WILL DETERMINE THE SPEED WITH WHICH YOU WILL BE ATTENDED TO. WE SINCERELY CONDOLE YOU FOR THE DEATH OF MR SAHEDI. YOURS FAITHFULLY, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: A few queries Sent: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 16:58:22 Dear Mrs Okoye, Thank you for your prompt response to my email and for your condolences on the death of my second cousin twice removed (on my mother's side). Being my second cousin twice removed (on my mother's side), Mr Sahedi and I were of course extremely close, and I still feel his loss deeply. However, there's no use crying over spilt milk; life goes on, as they say. And anyway, what can you expect if you choose to live in an earthquake zone? Regarding your email, I have a few queries. Firstly, when asking me to forward on all of the related documentation, you stated that "later is preferable". I can only presume that this is because you are extremely busy at the moment. How much later would you like me to send these documents? Next week? Next month? Please advise. Secondly, in your list of requirements, you listed five requirements: A, B, C, E and F. As you will see, requirement D is missing from this list. I can only presume that you deleted it accidentally prior to sending me the email. Please advise what requirement D is. I look forward to your prompt response. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I note that you wrote most of your last email ALMOST ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Quite apart from the fact that only educationally subnormal people write ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS in this country, it does make your email rather difficult to read. I would appreciate it if you could use an appropriate mixture of upper and lower-case letters in your subsequent emails to me. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: So far Sent: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 01:18:05 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, I am supposed to have given you this report since yesterday night but for the fact that my internet became bad after yesterday's evening rainfall and because of the nature of this deal I have to come to this internet cafe to send you this report while waiting for my internet providers to come up. Yesterday evening I was with MR JOHN DEBIE (the lawyer) in his chambers to know the latest and it was all positive. He told me that he has shared the greasing of palms (bribe) as we agreed and that he got assurance from the court REGISTRAR that the LETTERS OF ADMIN will be signed and given to him today and I promise you that as soon as I receive it that I will scan and send it to you. Please I want to know if you have received any response yet from the security company. I have one thing in mind to suggest as regards the telephony problem, I am in the suggestion that you do not keep waiting for the phone company, that you use your money and repair your phone so that you and I will be communicating smoothly and keep the cost for me because at the completion of this deal before sharing we are going to take back all the expenses we made individually before sharing so please for your information keep good record of any expenses you made to this effect including whatever it will cost you to and from MADRID, SPAIN, flight ticket, accommodation, etc. Right after sending this mail, I will proceed to the DIPLOMATIC UNIT in ABUJA where I am discussing with for the delivering of the consignment for us in Spain because today if all things be equal I will know the cost from them and then arrange on how and when to pay them. As soon as I come back from ABUJA I will write you. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I have sent a couple of queries to the security company Sent: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 12:02:27 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I have indeed heard back from the security company - from a charming lady called Mrs Okoye. The email that she sent me raised a couple of questions, so I responded to her yesterday with a few queries. Hopefully she will get back to me today with some answers. I am pleased to hear that things are progressing well with the lawyer. I look forward to receiving the letters of administration - sorry, the LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION - from you as soon as you have scanned them in. You mentioned that you would be making a trip to Madrid in your last email. That will be nice for you: I have heard that Spain can be very pleasant at this time of year. It can get rather too hot in the middle of summer, from what I have heard, so you are probably wise to visit in the spring. Tell me, my dear fellow, when are you planning to travel? I presume that you will be waiting until our business has been completed before you take your Spanish holiday. I have heard that you need to be on your guard against pickpockets in Madrid: one of my friends went there the other year and had his pocket picked on the day that he arrived. The police told him that pickpocketing is unfortunately rife in Madrid. Do be on the lookout for any criminal types when you visit, won't you my friend? I will wait to hear back from you with a copy of the LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION. Please give my regards to Mr Debie and thank him on my behalf for all the hard work he seems to be putting into this business. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Regarding the new range of wine bars that I was considering naming after you, I did wonder last night if I should call them "Mah's Bars" instead. I may have to get Welsby to clear the name with a certain confectionery company first, but as long as they have no objections, I think we could be onto a winner here. From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: NOTIFICATION Sent: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 08:44:06 -0800 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED ATTN: Gilbert Arnold Murray SIR, For your perfect understanding, please note as follows: A. That all the documents supporting your claims should be forwarded to this department by email attachment as soon as you read this mail. B. That you should pay into our revenue collector's account the processing and registration fees and send to us also the evidence of transfer/payment slip by email attachment as follows:
Please note that we expect to receive from you this transfer evidence/payment slip as soon as the transfer is made to enable us start with the process of releasing your inheritance and also for record updating. C. Let it also be clear to you that D subhead which you reported was contained as in above. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attached is the letters of admin Sent: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 17:34:28 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, As I am writing this mail, I am so tired, worked out but above all I am so happy, so much happy because the LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION is here with me and I am attaching it to you straight before I will go in to have my cold shower and have some sleep. Please print it out in colours and keep it because you will come along with it to Spain where the consignment will be delivered for our signing, clearing and collection. Point of correction, in my last mail I did not mention to you that I was going to Spain for a holiday, I meant to let you know that you should get ready to come to Madrid, Spain where you and I will meet with the diplomats who will deliver for us the consignments containing the $40.5 million. It is my arrangement that the consignment will be brought to us there so that the financial consultant will assist us in lodging it in a bank there from which the funds will be transferred into your account in the UK bit by bit. Please understand that we have to do it this way to avoid taxes and charges that are always involved with international monetary transfers. Tomorrow will be another busy day because I will go back to ABUJA to conclude with the diplomatic unit, as their boss whom I was to discuss with today was not able to give me full attention but rather asked me to come back tomorrow. Please tell me how far you have gone with your phone problems because as it is now we have entered the final stage of this deal so minute to minute discussion will be involved. Have the security company cleared you on the queries? Let me know. WILLIAMS  From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: CONFIRM TO ME Sent: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 22:12:01 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Please confirm to me this morning if you received the letters of administration. Just download the attachment to your desktop and print out in colours. I am waiting. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: A problem Sent: Thu, 27 Apr 2006 09:34:17 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I must have misread your earlier emails: I didn't realise that I was going to have to travel over to Spain to collect this consignment; I thought you were going there on holiday. Are you sure that this is really necessary? I am a very busy man with a brewery to run, you know. If you really think it's necessary then I suppose I will have no choice but to make the time for the trip, but is there no way that the security company could deliver the consignment somewhere closer to home? I don't expect them to travel all the way to Gypping in the Marsh, but if they're going to have to deliver it to Spain anyway, surely they could travel that little bit further and deliver it to London instead? What do you think? Anyway, I'm afraid that there is a more pressing problem that we - and when I say "we", what I really mean is "you" - will have to deal with. I have printed out the letters of administration that you sent me, and I noticed to my horror that your late employer's name has been spelled incorrectly! As you obviously know, your late employer was called "Muhammad El-Sahedi". However, the name that is printed on the legal document is "El-Muhammad Sahedi", which is obviously wrong. It's as different to his real name as "Arnold Gilbert Murray" is to mine. If I've learned one thing from my dealings with my lawyer, Welsby, it's that a legal document that contains a mistake is about as much use as a chocolate beer barrel. There's no way that document will stand up in a court of law. How on earth could your lawyer make such a fundamental mistake, Mr Mah? Is the man properly trained? Does he have full legal qualifications? I'm sorry Mr Mah, but there's no way I can present this flawed document to the security company. They will simply throw it back in my face. The way I see things, we have no choice but to instruct your lawyer to obtain a new document - and one without any mistakes this time - at once. I am not happy, Mr Mah. You assured me that this lawyer was worth his salt. I didn't expect him to make such a basic error in the one task he's been given. Please instruct your lawyer to obtain a revised document at once, and get back to me as soon as it is in your possession. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. You asked about my telephone line. I am still waiting for a response to the letter I sent to the telephone company the other day. Fingers crossed they won't be too long in getting back to me: the lack of a telephone is proving to be extremely inconvenient. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Blame me Sent: Thu, 27 Apr 2006 02:26:33 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, I thank GOD that your mail came now that I am still within Enugu because my local flight to Abuja will be at 11:45am. I have already called MR JOHN and informed him about this mistake and frankly speaking, it is my mistake as he claimed because he said that the names appeared as I submitted to him and after all that he does not know late EL-SAHEDI. Please blame me and also do you know that I did not see the mistake myself, maybe my oversight and overjoy. Truly, the blame is mine. I am taking this document along with me to ABUJA and I hope it will not take days again to get it sorted out but until I get to Abuja to meet with him though he said on phone that the process may not be revised and I will get back to you the moment I get back. Please understand that the diplomatic unit gave me the options of AMSTERDAM and MADRID for the delivery since onset and never a time did they accept to deliver to London because of what they called security risks. Please this is a 24 hours deal and I pray that you will find time to get ready for early next week to be in Spain for us to complete this deal. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Let us hope that your lawyer can rectify the problem Sent: Thu, 27 Apr 2006 10:56:16 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I am pleased to hear that this problem wasn't the fault of your lawyer. If it had been his fault, I would have had to insist that we found another lawyer to help us out in this business - the eminent Welsby, for example. Let us hope that your own lawyer can rectify the problem without any delay. As there is no way we can move forward with the document you sent me, I have ripped it up and thrown it into the bin. I look forward to receiving a revised document as soon as possible. Regarding this trip to Madrid, do you have any idea how long I will need to spend in Spain? Do let me know and I will take a look at my diary and see if I can postpone some of my many meetings and appointments next week. Am I right in thinking that you will be travelling to Madrid yourself as well? I am so looking forward to meeting you, my dear fellow. I can't wait to shake your hand and thank you in person for putting such a profitable business transaction my way. I imagine that you will have arrived in Abuja by the time you receive this email. I trust that you had a pleasant flight. Good luck dealing with the lawyer, my friend. Do let me know how you get on. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: I'm sorry, but you have confused me Sent: Thu, 27 Apr 2006 14:21:04 Dear Mrs Okoye, Thank you for your email, in which you attempted to answer the two queries that I put to you on Tuesday. Unfortunately, having read your email I am sorry to report that I am now even more confused than I was before. In the email you sent to me on Tuesday, you listed five requirements: A, B, C, E and F. As I pointed out to you at the time, requirement D was missing. I expected your response to my email (which arrived this morning) to clearly indicate what the missing requirement (D) was. However, it did not; instead, it contained three different requirements (A, B and C), which did not match up with the requirements A, B and C that appeared in your initial email. As a result of this, I am even less clear about what you expect from me now than I was at the start of the week. I trust that you can appreciate the reason for my confusion. I would be extremely grateful if you could get back to me with a simple and definitive list of requirements. As I am keen to move this business forwards as quickly as possible, I will act on your email as soon as I receive it. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I was pleased to note that you had discovered how to turn off the CAPS LOCK key on your keyboard. Well done. Keep it up. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WE SUCCEEDED Sent: Thu, 27 Apr 2006 18:29:42 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Let me start by telling you that God is with us in this deal. Today is a good day because what I thought will take days ended in a few hours and I want you to know that money is powerful. Just give people what they want and they will dance to your tune. Anyway, we succeeded and the attached is the corrected LETTERS OF ADMIN. Please go straight and purchase your flight ticket to Spain and let me have your flight schedule etc. From the look of things we will only stay in Madrid for 24 hours to complete the deal. How far have you gone with the phone company? Have you contacted the security company again? Since I could not leave this LETTERS OF ADMIN issue today I had no time to conclude with the diplomatic unit but I will face that first thing in the morning because I am spending the night here in ABUJA so that everything will be in order and tomorrow is Friday. WILLIAMS  From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: This is good news indeed Sent: Fri, 28 Apr 2006 09:56:42 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for sending me the revised letters of administration. I am delighted to see that you managed to get hold of them so quickly. Thank heavens that you employed such a good lawyer: he must be cut from the same cloth as the eminent Welsby. Please buy the man a drink from me next time you see him by way of thanks. Now then, you asked me to purchase a ticket to Spain. However, might we not be in danger of putting the dray before the horse? We haven't concluded matters with the security company yet, and there seems little point in me booking a flight ticket before I receive a definite date from them when they will be able to deliver the consignment to Spain. After all, we don't want to arrive in Madrid only to find that the consignment is still sitting in a vault in Enugu. Regarding the security company, I heard back from the delightful Mrs Okoye yesterday. She did attempt to answer the queries that I had put to her in my original email, but unfortunately her second email was confusing in the extreme, and I was none the wiser even after I had read it three or four times. I sent off another email to her yesterday afternoon, asking her to clarify matters as plainly and simply as she could so that we could move forward. Hopefully she will get back to me before the end of the day. Now then, I had better let you know that I won't be available this weekend. Monday is May Day bank holiday here in the UK, and I am going away for a long weekend with my wife. We won't be back until Tuesday morning. It's a shame to be going away at this time of year, to be honest: Gypping in the Marsh always puts on such a splendid May Day celebration. The entire village community gets involved. There are morris men, dances around the maypole, fun and games of all description, and dancing in the village square until late in the evening. The highlight of May Day is the traditional "Wicker Bunny" ceremony, which takes place at the end of the day, when the large wicker effigy of a bunny rabbit that has been standing in the churchyard ever since Easter is stuffed full of small farm animals - poultry, calves, piglets, lambs, etc - and set alight by the 18th Earl of Gypping in front of the village folk. Last year's ceremony was a marvellous sight, and this year the Womens' Institute have excelled themselves by constructing Gypping's largest ever wicker bunny: at over thirty feet tall, it dwarfs most of the yew trees in the churchyard. It really is such a shame that my wife and I are going to miss the ceremony this year, but it can't be helped. We have donated three barrels of our finest ale to the May Day celebrations. Hopefully they will go down well. Anyway, our little weekend away does mean that after today I won't be able to get back to you or the security company until next Tuesday. I am sorry for the inconvenience, but it can't be helped. Tell me, Mr Mah, do you celebrate May Day over in Nigeria? No doubt you have similar ceremonies in your own village. I trust that whatever wicker animal you choose to burn in your own village on May Day - a wildebeest, for example, or maybe a gazelle - you have a marvellous time. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: READ CAREFULLY Sent: Fri, 28 Apr 2006 03:51:55 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Please read this carefully. I am back from Abuja and I have concluded with the diplomatic unit for the delivery of the consignment and they are asking for $38,000 for the lifting, handling, transportation and delivering of the consignment. Remember that this is a special arrangement and I have agreed to come back to them on Tuesday for the 50% down payment before they will lift the consignment for onward progress to MADRID, so arrange to be in Madrid by next week THURSDAY. Buy your ticket for next week THURSDAY. Make all arrangements to be in Madrid next Thursday. Please do not wait for the security company because I have gone there straight on my arrival because I left my car at the airport yesterday and I met with the OPERATIONS MANAGER who confirmed to me that you and them have been corresponding and that you seem to be difficult in understanding their procedures. Please help me out and sort things out with their office. You have to scan and send to them all the documents that I have sent to you including your international passport and also he let me know that we are supposed to pay $9,700 as the processing fees. He also informed me that his secretary has given to you their bank account in London where the $9,700 will be transferred, please go ahead and send to them the documents and also transfer the processing fees to their bank account today since the bank is there in London so that everything with them will be concluded today. You have to understand that I will transfer to the lawyer some funds today as soon as I get to my office so that immediately after the workers' day I will complete his fees so that he will sign off the final documents at the security office because no matter what it is I want the consignment to leave the shores of this country by next week Wednesday so that by Thursday on our arrival in Spain we will be going for clearing, signing and collection at the diplomatic office there. Please assist me this time and tidy that end of the security requirements so that my stress will be reduced and if you make any expenses always keep records for reimbursements. Another important issue is that wherever you may be this weekend for the May Day celebration, make sure that you are close to the email for communications and possibly give me the phone number of that place so that I will be reaching you. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: An idea Sent: Fri, 28 Apr 2006 12:39:22 Dear Mr Mah, I am confused. Do I understand you correctly? Do you mean to say that the security company is asking for $38,000, just for transporting this consignment to Madrid? And that on top of that, they are demanding a further $9,700, simply for shuffling a few pieces of paper around on their desks? That comes to a total of $47,700, Mr Mah! That's over 26,000 in real money... and all for transporting a box from one place to another! That's an outrageous sum of money for them to charge, Mr Mah! How can it possibly cost $38,000 to transfer a single box from Enugu to Madrid? Are they using a gold-plated security van, for God's sake? Even if I had that amount of money to hand - which I do not - I wouldn't be prepared to hand it over to these money-grabbing shysters simply for moving a box from one place to another! If you ask me, Mr Mah, this security company is trying to take us for a ride. Well I have a better idea. Why do we need the box moved to Madrid in the first place? Surely it would be much more cost-effective for us to travel to the security company ourselves and take delivery of the box at their headquarters. That way, we'd only have to pay the $9,700 fee (which is still a hell of a lot of money if you ask me) and we'd save $38,000. What do you reckon, Mr Mah? Shall we make arrangements to collect the consignment in Enugu rather than Madrid? I think this has to be a better way forward. Let me know your thoughts. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: We will have to continue this on Tuesday Sent: Fri, 28 Apr 2006 16:57:14 Dear Mr Mah, I am disappointed not to have heard back from you in response to my last email. Given the fact that I am going away for the weekend, your delay in responding has meant that we have not been able to make any progress this afternoon, so we will have to continue this on Tuesday now. On a more positive note, even though I will be away for the weekend, there is no reason why you could not make some progress at your end this weekend. For a start, you could get in touch with Mrs Okoye at the security company and prompt her to respond to my emails in a more timely fashion: she still hasn't got back to me in response to the email I sent her yesterday, so I'm still confused about exactly what I need to do to satisfy the requirements of the security company. You might also like to give some serious thought to my suggestion that we forget about the idea of transporting the consignment to Madrid. We could save a lot of money if we didn't bother doing that. Surely if we collected the consignment at the security company's head office, there would be a bank nearby that we could pay the money into? Perhaps you could look into that. Things are still up in the air as far as I am concerned, Mr Mah, which is rather disappointing: I had hoped that by the end of this week would have had everything tied down nicely so that we all knew where we were with everything. But there are still a lot of decisions to be made before this transaction can be finalised. Why not see what you can do over the weekend, then get back to me by Tuesday morning, when I'll be back in touch? Do enjoy your weekend, my dear fellow. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: LET US PROGRESS Sent: Sat, 29 Apr 2006 05:18:23 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Please respond to this mail wherever you are. I am the person that is dealing and planning this deal and it is to the benefit of both of us and I expect you to follow my directives. It is clear to me about the processing fees ($9,700) and the money for the delivering of the consignment. Do you know what it means to carry such a huge sum ($40.5 million) into another country, passing through immigration and governmental agencies and above all remember that this money does not belong to you and I. Please understand that I am spending my lifetime savings trying to perfect this deal and you don't seem to see it from the same point with me. Gilbert, don't just see it as carrying a box because it is more than that and that was why I had to do it using diplomats so that it will be a clean deal. On another note, if you insist, I suggest that you come down here and let us use the bank but also I know that using a bank we will be required to pay a lot of taxes and charges and this is what I do not want. The moment you read this mail go ahead scan those documents including your passport and send them by attachment to the security company and also make sure that you transfer $9,700 to their bank account so that this fund will be released to us. I am here taking care of things and I want you to be following my directives because wasting time may not be to our advantage. Is it not better that we spend this little and secure the $40.5 million we are chasing than losing it? Please follow my directives and let us make progress. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: The way forward Sent: Sun, 30 Apr 2006 23:51:36 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, I had expected to read from you or a phone call from you over the weekend but I am surprised that none came at least for you to know how far I have gone so far. You are holidaying leaving me with the task of co-ordinating this deal without contacting me at least to know how far I have gone. Anyway, I am seriously suggesting to you not to wait again for the security company to contact you before you send to them the documents they requested for including your international passport and also transfer to them the $9,700 for processing our documents on Tuesday morning as soon as you come back so that our Thursday target will be a reality. My hopes is that this consignment must be in Spain by Thursday 4th May 2006. Regarding the $38,000 for the cost of lifting, handling and delivering of the consignment, this payment is not going to the security company. This payment goes to the DIPLOMATIC UNIT of the presidency, they are the people we will use in delivering the consignment because they have immunities that they will not be searched on arrival to the airports and this is the means that most of the African heads of state and presidents use to move huge sums of money. For these diplomats they enjoy some immunity coverage when they come into countries as diplomats and it is also written in their passports and that makes them tick that no immigration or agencies of foreign governments to check them. The OPERATIONS MANAGER of the security company is the person that sold this idea to me because he has been in this and knows more than you and I in moving such large sums to avoid taxes and charges and even traces. Also I want you to understand that it is the Operations Manager that is linking me with a financial consultant who will assist us in opening an account in Spain and lodging in of the $40.5 million before we will now move together to LINCOLNSHIRE from where we will transfer the funds into your company's account before sharing and investments starts. You should know that first thing in the morning tomorrow, as soon as the bank opens that I will proceed to pay MR DEBIE (the lawyer) his fees complete so that he will proceed with signing the final documents and procedures on your behalf at the security plaza and this is why I am suggesting that you send to them the documents as early as possible including the processing fees so that about 12 midday when we will be coming for the signing they must have received your documents. Please GILBERT, I am mandating you that as soon as you come back that you and I must be talking on phone as often as possible because that will cut a lot of this process short because email writing prolongs the process and I want us to use between today and Thursday to tidy up every necessary arrangements. Get back to me soonest. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Where is this $38,000 going to come from? Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 09:14:12 Dear Mr Mah, I have just got back from my long weekend away and I have read the emails you sent me in my absence. What a shame you didn't respond to my emails a bit more quickly on Friday: if you had done, we could have made some more progress before the weekend. Well, never mind. I trust that you had a pleasant weekend. Apparently the May Day celebrations here in Gypping in the Marsh were something to be seen. The wicker bunny went up like a torch, and the postman told me this morning that you could hear the screams of the burning farm animals for miles around. He said that the noise of the animals sounded almost human at one point. Unfortunately the burning bunny apparently set fire to some of the old yew trees in the churchyard, and the postman told me that the fire brigade had to be called out as there were concerns that the flames might spread to the timbers of the church roof. Anyway, it seems as if the fire brigade were able to douse the flames before any serious harm was done. Now then, to business. Although I appreciate what you are saying about having the consignment moved to Madrid by diplomats attached to the presidency, I simply don't know how we are going to get our hands on the $38,000 that this is going to cost. I certainly don't have this kind of money just lying about; it'll be difficult enough for me to come up with the $9,700 that the security company is demanding. There's no way I can pay for that and pay to have the consignment transported to Madrid. I don't know what to do, Mr Mah. Do you have any ideas? Please get back to me as soon as you can. I shall be waiting to hear from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Urgent. Urgent. Urgent. Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 03:20:31 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, I am so happy to see your mail right now. WELCOME FROM HOLIDAYS. I am just coming back from the CONTINENTAL TRUST BANK where I transferred a sum of N2,080,000 (Naira) our local currency which is equivalent to $16,000 into MR JOHN DEBIE'S account as I agreed with him and in the next 45 minutes he will be landing for us to get ready to proceed to the security plaza for signing of the final documents. He insisted that he will not issue to me his chamber's receipt until I complete his legal fees which remains N780,000 (Naira) our local currency which is equivalent to $6,000 though I am expecting a loan of $20,000 from a mortgage this afternoon and from which I will complete MR DEBIE's fees and have a balance of $14,000 which I negotiated with a local mortgage bank here with my 4x4 Mercedes jeep (ML430). Have you sent the documents to the security company as I directed you? Have you transferred the fees to them as I directed you? Please I want urgent answers because this must be done before Mr Debie and I gets there for the signing of the documents. Now you can see why I have been crying for us to have to be communicating by phone as often as possible. Please let me know. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Slow down. Slow down. Slow down. Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 11:40:09 Dear Mr Mah, I am now completely confused. You and your lawyer seem to be rushing ahead here even though we haven't even got the basics of this transaction in place. Why didn't you answer the question I put to you in my last email, Mr Mah? I will ask you again: where are we going to get our hands on the $38,000 that we need to transport this consignment to Madrid? If you're having to remortgage your house and put your car up for collateral just to pay your lawyer's fees, it doesn't sound as if you're going to be able to come up with the money, and as I told you before, I don't have that kind of money either. So how on earth are we going to pay to have the consignment transported over to Madrid? I think we are in danger here of putting the dray before the horse, Mr Mah. Kindly answer my question regarding the $38,000, then we'll take it from there. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: UNDERSTAND Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 04:05:38 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please let us talk on phone immediately. I will have a balance of $14,000 after completing the lawyer's fees and I am not resting after that. This deal is my life and I am the king player and I am the person planning it. Please the most important issue now is for us to sort ourselves out with the security company and afterwards I will work towards raising more funds and where it becomes difficult I will get back to you. But my assurance to you is that we are moving ahead to conclude this deal by this week Thursday. I will have to make other contacts to raise more money. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: We need to get the basics sorted out Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 12:27:54 Dear Mr Mah, I really think that we need to get the basics sorted out here. Here are the facts. I will be able to pay the $9,700 that the security company is demanding. However, we need an extra $38,000 to pay for the transportation of the consignment to Madrid. You say that you have $14,000. That leaves us $24,000 short. I may just about be able to come up with a few thousand dollars more to help out with this amount, but it will mean raiding the brewery's current account in order to do so, and I don't want to do that unless there is absolutely no alternative. After all, if I do that and anything goes wrong, I won't have the money to pay my staff their wages this month, and that would be a disaster for my business. However, even if I manage to raise another four or five thousand dollars in this way, we will still be about $20,000 short, and if we can't pay to have the consignment transported to Spain, we're stuck. We need to work something out here, Mr Mah. The way I see it, there is precious little point in me paying the security company if we can't then afford to have the consignment moved. It only makes sense for me to pay the security company after we have made suitable arrangements for paying all of our bills. We need answers here, Mr Mah. As I have said, I may just be able to raise an additional four or five thousand dollars by raiding my company's current account. But even if I do that, how are we going to come up with the remaining $20,000? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: BE POSITIVE PLEASE Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 05:05:42 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, It is raining in Abuja heavily now according to Mr Debie's phone call but he hopes to board as soon as it is safe for them to fly. Please note that we are not gambling at all. This is a sure business as you have seen and there is no way you should be having fears of the consignment not being delivered to Madrid. I will be 48 years by this SATURDAY with four kids and there is no way I will use the resources that I would have used in training and feeding them and pour into a deal that is risky. Please let us be up and doing. Assist me now, go and transfer the fees of the security company to them and let us face the issue of settling for the transportation of the consignment. Be it known to you that I have never failed in concluding whatever I started and not in this major one. When it becomes difficult to raise the $38,000 I will let you know but I plead with you to have a positive spirit and be determined. For me Thursday is a sure bet. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WAITING Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 05:45:41 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please as soon as you send those requirements to the security company let me know immediately. I am still here waiting for the arrival of Mr Debie and I hope you will be through before then. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: This is getting ridiculous Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 13:55:12 Dear Mr Mah, This is getting ridiculous. We need to raise $38,000, for God's sake! We're not talking peanuts here, Mr Mah! It's all very well you telling me to be positive, but being positive won't raise $38,000, Mr Mah! The money's not suddenly going to fall out of the sky and into our laps. We need a plan, my dear chap! If we can't work out how to raise this money, we won't be able to pay for the transportation of the consignment to Madrid, and then where will we be? We need to work out how we are going to raise this money, and then - and only then - we can move forward. To do anything else would be sheer lunacy. I repeat, Mr Mah, how are we going to raise $38,000? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: I HAVE PLANS Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 07:42:17 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, It is now past three and it is the scheduled time that I will meet with the people for the loan so I am off to the bank to secure the loan at least to have it ready because they are already in possession of the Jeep. Mr Debie is yet to arrive though he confirmed to me that the rain has stopped but about the cloudy weather he knew nothing about but my mind is telling me that since offices close between 4-5pm that we had better reschedule for tomorrow to conclude with the security company. I am 100% sure that I will have in my account this afternoon $20,000 equivalent and that between this evening and tomorrow morning that I will raise another $10,000 comfortably so if you can pay in the $9,700 to the security company. In fact be assured that with your promise of helping me with remaining everything will be sorted out tomorrow. I will give you reports when I come back from the bank. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I have had an idea Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 15:48:22 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. It is good to hear that you are confident of being able to raise the rest of the money that we will need to pay for the shipment of the consignment. That makes me feel a lot easier in my mind about the whole thing: I was worried that we were going to get halfway through this transaction, but fall at the last hurdle thanks to a lack of cash. I must say, I find it remarkable that you seem to be able to raise such a large amount of money so quickly. Well done, Mr Mah. If only I had your obvious talent for raising money, I would have been able to expand my business a long time ago. Anyway, I have had an idea. Just to make sure that we have all the money we need, why don't I ask my lawyer, Welsby, if he can loan me a bit of money for a few days? I know for a fact that Welsby isn't short of a bob or two, and given the huge amount of money that's going to be coming our way in the next few days, I'll be able to pay him back by the end of the week at a healthy rate of interest. This may be just the solution we need to move forward. What do you think, Mr Mah? Shall I pop round to Welsby's chambers and see if he's willing to help us out? Get back to me as soon as you can and let me know what you think. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I was surprised to hear that Mr Debie's flight is being delayed by a bit of rain and some clouds. How is he flying? By microlight? From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: MY REPORT SO FAR Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 10:06:44 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Thanks for your compliments. I have now in my account the loan and my brother in law, JOE who trades in CAMEROUN (a neighbouring country) who accepted yesterday to send me $10,000 has called me back and informed me that before tomorrow morning he will give me the details of the Western Union so that I will pick it up by tomorrow morning. So in all I have $30,000 and the balance will be $8,000 and $6,000 to complete for Mr Debie's fees totalling $14,000. Regarding WELSBY as you suggested, I do not know him and I do not know the relationship between the two of you but for me I do not ask for money from people anyhow. Most of the times you find out that people do not feel happy when someone is about growing rich but I have not known Lincolnshire and the people there but still I do not want Welsby to get to know about this deal yet until the funds are in your company account and until when we will be drawing agreements for investments. Please hear me out, do not involve Welsby now, search yourself or any other source but most importantly do not disclose this deal to anybody for now even your Welsby whom you trust so much. Regarding Mr Debie's flight, last year we experienced up to five air mishaps which claimed hundreds of lives including important persons in the country and you know that most of the aircraft that fly here are outdated and rarely maintained so be aware that flying our local flights here is always a risk and even the airports are not functional like the ones you see in developed countries like Europe and America. Please do your best to raise the needed $14,000 so that tomorrow will not pass us by. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: GOOD Sent: Tue, 02 May 2006 19:19:16 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Luck is on my side, Joe (my brother in law) has given me the details of the Western Union transfer of $10,000. He sent them on two installments of $5,000 each. Also I got a confirmation call from Mr Debie that he is likely to arrive before 12 midday. How far did you go on your side? Please let me know. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Good morning Sent: Wed, 03 May 2006 01:32:29 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, I am worried that you have not written me this morning. I am set to the Western Union office to pick the $10,000 that Joe sent. Please let me hear from you. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I am confused Sent: Wed, 03 May 2006 09:41:10 Dear Mr Mah, I have just read the two emails you sent to me at the end of the day yesterday, and I have to admit that all this talk of loans from the bank and remortgages and giving up your car and loans from your brother in law and payments to the lawyer and Western Union transfers has left me frightfully confused. I would be grateful if you could clarify the situation for me. As I understand it, we need a total of $47,700: $9,700 to pay the security company's fees and $38,000 to pay for the delivery of the consignment to Madrid. Is this correct? Now we have agreed that I am going to pay the $9,700 to the security company. But how much of the $38,000 have you managed to raise? Have you managed to raise the total amount, or are we still short? If we are still short, how much do we have left to find? Please get back to me as quickly as you can with clarification. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I am pleased to hear that Mr Debie is not endangering his safety by flying in from Abuja by microlight. I will be praying that he has a safe flight to Enugu and that the wings don't fall off his aeroplane or anything like that. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: BREAKDOWN Sent: Wed, 03 May 2006 03:28:00 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please see the breakdown:
Right now I have $30,000. If you pay $9,700 to the security company then you send to me $14,000, from that I will use it to pay $6,000 to complete Debie's fees and use $8,000 to complete the $30,000 to make it $38,000 to pay for the transportation. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I don't have that much money Sent: Wed, 03 May 2006 12:01:22 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for sending me the breakdown of the figures involved in this transaction. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, my dear fellow, but I'm afraid to say that it is just as I thought: your sums don't add up. From what you have written in your email, you are expecting me to send $9,700 to the security company and $14,000 to you. But I simply don't have that much money, Mr Mah. I never told you that I did have. To reiterate what I have already told you, I can afford to send $9,700 to the security company, plus an additional $5,000 (borrowed on a strictly short-term basis out of my company's current account) to you to help out with the transportation costs. But that still leaves us $9,000 short of the money we need. Mathematics obviously isn't your strong point, my friend. So, we still don't have enough money to pay for everything. Where are we going to find the remaining $9,000? Are you absolutely adamant that I shouldn't go to Welsby to see if I can borrow the money from him? I really can't see any other way of getting hold of the $9,000 at my end. Unless there's some way you think you'll be able to raise an additional $9,000 at short notice... I don't suppose you have another car that you could put in hock to the bank? I really am concerned about this, my dear chap. If we can't work out a way to raise this final $9,000, this whole business is in danger of going to hell in a handcart. What do you reckon, Mr Mah? Shall I go to Welsby? The way I see it, he may be our only hope. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: IT IS OK Sent: Wed, 03 May 2006 04:09:06 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please send the $9,700 to the security company now. Please send to me the $5,000 by Western Union as follows:
Let me fight to complete the $9,000 today. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: GOOD OF YOU Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 00:12:08 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, THANKS A LOT. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I'm sorry for the delay in getting back to you Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 09:04:38 Dear Mr Mah, I'm terribly sorry that I haven't managed to get back to you until now, but all hell has broken loose here in the village. Apparently the churchwarden was clearing away the remains of the May Day wicker bunny from the churchyard yesterday, and to his horror he found what looked like human remains in the charred wreckage of the burned bunny! No wonder the postman thought that the screams of the burning farm animals sounded almost human on Monday night: they actually were! Apparently the churchwarden called the police as soon as he found the bones, and as a result the village was swarming with police officers all yesterday. As my Head Brewer was the one who handed the burning brand to the 18th Earl of Gypping to set fire to the wicker bunny on Monday night (he was elected Grand Wazoo by the local druids earlier this year so the honour fell on his shoulders), the brewery itself was full of police until late last night. They were questioning everyone - even me, even though I wasn't even in the village at the time. What a terrible thing to have happened! It makes me sick, to think of some poor soul being burned alive inside a huge wicker effigy of a bunny rabbit. I wonder how such a thing could have happened. I suppose the most likely explanation is that the poor soul was a passing vagrant who, being unaware of our local customs, thought that the inside of the wicker bunny would be a warm and dry place to sleep. However, I have heard darker mutterings around the village. Some people are wondering whether the poor fellow - whoever he was - was placed into the wicker bunny on purpose. As you probably know, the May Day rite of the wicker bunny dates back to pagan times, and originally the druids would have placed a human sacrifice inside the bunny, alongside the farm animals. But that kind of thing hasn't happened for years... well, at least not since 1983. It's horrendous to think that someone may have started up the practice again deliberately. I'm very sorry, Mr Mah, but this terrible happening has shaken me - and many other villagers - to the core. I do hope that if you had a wicker animal burning in your own village this May Day, it passed off without incident. Anyway, for the sake of our transaction, I will do my best now to keep my mind focussed on the matter in hand. So, as I understand it, I need to transfer $9,700 to the security company and $5,000 to you. Well first things first: I will get straight onto Mrs Okoye and ask her to confirm the details of how to transfer the money to her. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: Please confirm payment details Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 09:06:19 Dear Mrs Okoye, Regarding the transfer of my late second cousin twice removed (on my mother's side)'s funds, I am aware that I need to pay you a processing and registration fee of $9,700. Could you please confirm the best way for me to get this money to you? I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: IT'S A PITY Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 03:42:55 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Until you confirm to me that you have transferred to the security company the fees and given me the details of the Western Union of $5,000 then I will know what step to take next. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I'm waiting for Mrs Okoye to get back to me to confirm the payment details Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 11:58:21 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I wrote to Mrs Okoye at the security company this morning - as I said I would - and asked her to confirm the details of how best to get the $9,700 to her. I am still waiting for her to get back to me. As soon as she does so, I will take action. By the way, my dear fellow, I forgot to ask in my previous email, did you have any luck raising that final $9,000 yesterday? I do hope so. Please let me know. I do realise that we were hoping to be in Madrid today, but what with one thing and another that obviously hasn't been possible. I did think that we were rushing things somewhat. If you ask me, Mr Mah, it's better to be safe than to be sorry with this kind of thing. I think it's much better that we take our time over this transaction and make sure that we get everything right, rather than rushing ahead willy-nilly without checking that we have covered all of the bases. I will get back to you as soon as Mrs Okoye responds to my email. Do let me know about that $9,000 now, won't you? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: OUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 12:19:02 +0100 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED ATTN: Gilbert Arnold Murray SIR, OUR ACCOUNT DETAILS:
Please note that we expect to receive from you this transfer evidence/payment slip as soon as the transfer is made to enable us start with the process of releasing your inheritance and also for record updating. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: There seems to be some mistake Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 12:39:44 Dear Mrs Okoye, Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. However, there seems to be some mistake. I asked you to send me details of your bank account so that I could transfer the $9,700 into it. However, you seem to have sent me details of someone else's bank account entirely. It appears to belong to some Chinese company from what I can make out. Kindly send me details of your security company's own bank account by return so that I can transfer the money today. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THERE IS NO MISTAKE PLEASE Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 13:31:14 +0100 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED ATTN: Gilbert Arnold Murray SIR, OUR REVENUE COLLECTOR'S BANK ACCOUNT. The bank account below is our revenue collector's bank account and for your notice our company is of Chinese origin with branches the world over. Shaanxi Investment & Industries Company Limited are our payment receiving agents.
Please note that we expect to receive from you this transfer evidence/payment slip as soon as the transfer is made to enable us start with the process of releasing your inheritance and also for record updating. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: What a surprisingly plausible explanation Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 14:04:11 Dear Mrs Okoye, Thank you for your email. What a surprisingly plausible explanation for you asking me to transfer money into a Chinese company's London bank account when your company is based in Nigeria. I am impressed. I must say, I didn't realise that I was dealing with such a large company with such a global reach. Absolutely nothing in the dealings I have had with you up until today has given me that impression. In fact I don't mind admitting that up until today I was under the impression that you were a two-bit operation, probably operating out of an insalubrious shack in some filth-strewn backstreet in downtown Enugu. Well, you live and learn. Now that I understand the situation, I will access my bank's online banking service and transfer the money into your revenue collector's bank account this afternoon. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: I have transferred the money Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 14:45:12 Dear Mrs Okoye, A quick note to inform you that I have just transferred the $9,700 into your revenue collector's bank account via my bank's online banking service. As my bank account is in pounds sterling we had to convert the amount from dollars to sterling, and the precise amount I transferred was 5,265.31 (which is correct according to my bank's current dollar to sterling exchange rate). Please note that as this is a transfer between two different banks, my bank normally advises that it will take between three to seven working days for the money to appear in the account to which it is transferred. I trust that you will now be able to move forward on my behalf with the transfer of my late second cousin twice removed (on my mother's side)'s funds. Please get back to me if there is anything further that you need from me. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I have transferred the $9,700 to the security company Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 14:52:37 Dear Mr Mah, You will be pleased to hear that I have just transferred the $9,700 to the security company's revenue collector's bank account via my own bank's online banking service. I have just written to Mrs Okoye to let her know that she can expect to receive the money within three to seven working days. So, my dear fellow, where do we go from here? Have you had any luck raising that final $9,000? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Nice to hear that Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 06:59:52 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, I am happy to know that you have transferred to the security company their fees. I am going to get $6,500 this evening from JOE (my in law) so please send to me the $5,000 as we agreed so that everything will be complete as I hope to raise $2,500 from my younger brother tomorrow. Send the Western Union as follows:
Let me have the details of the Western Union as soon as you send it. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I should be able to get the $5,000 by Monday Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 15:49:32 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I'm delighted to hear that it sounds as if you will be able to raise the additional $9,000 by tomorrow. This is good news indeed: at last, everything will be in place for the transfer of the money. Unfortunately, I won't be able to lay my hands on the $5,000 until Monday, or possibly Tuesday. As I told you, it's going to be coming out of the brewery's current account rather than my own bank account, and there isn't enough money in there at the moment. However, I paid in a large cheque from one of our creditors yesterday and that should have cleared by Monday or Tuesday. As soon as it clears, I'll be able to withdraw the cash out of the bank and send it on to you. Tell me, Mr Mah, did Mr Debie land safely in Enugu the other day? I trust that nothing catastrophic happened to his flight, despite the appalling safety record your airlines seem to have. On the subject of bodies being pulled out from burning wreckage, the village is still crawling with police today after the gruesome discovery in the smouldering remains of the wicker bunny. Happily my Head Brewer seems to be out of the picture, although the police have warned him that they may need to question him further on the matter in the next few days. Tell me, Mr Mah, given that we now seem to have sorted out our money problems, when do you think the security company will be able to deliver the consignment to Madrid? Presumably you and Mr Debie will be able to arrange a suitable date with them. Some time towards the end of next week would suit me best. Please let me know. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: Proof of the transfer Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 15:55:42 Dear Mrs Okoye, I have just remembered that you asked me to send you proof of the transfer that I have made to your revenue collector's bank account. Obviously, as I made the transfer online I cannot send you a payment slip, and as an Englishman, obviously my word is my bond. However, I have attached additional proof to this email: it is a screenshot of my online bank statement, which clearly shows the transfer (of 5,265.31) at the top of the list of this month's transactions. Presumably the attached screenshot is sufficient proof for you. Please get back to me by return to confirm that it is acceptable for your purposes. Best regards, Gilbert Murray  From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: OUR PROCEDURE Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 16:27:11 +0100 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED ATTN: Gilbert Arnold Murray SIR, We write to acknowledge the receipt of your last mail to our department in which you notified us of the transfer of $9,700 equivalent covering for the processing and registration fees. Further, you are expected to forward to us the transfer receipt/transfer evidence soonest as no processing and release of inheritance will be carried out until the said transfer reflects in our revenue collector's account. We demand strictly the transfer receipt/slip for record updating. Be informed also that you are expected to send to this department all the necessary documents as requested for in our first mail to you regarding your claim for vetting and clarification. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: I have already sent you proof of the transfer! Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 16:55:58 Dear Mrs Okoye, I have just read your last email and I am baffled: I have already sent you proof of the transfer! Have you not received the email to which I attached a screenshot of my online bank statement, which clearly shows that the transfer has been made? Or perhaps you have accidentally deleted the email in a fit of ineptitude? Either way, let me know and I will resend it if need be. Regarding the documents that you were referring to, could you please remind me exactly which documents I need to send to you? Let me know by return and I will send them on to you as soon as is likely. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: SO FAR Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 14:37:44 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, I just read your mail though late but I can't help it because these days have been so busy for me. I got a call from Joe a few minutes ago and he was saying that he could not come up with the $6,500 as he promised me earlier that his resources could not make up for that instead that he can only afford to send to me $3,000. I had no option and I asked him to go ahead and send the $3,000 so by tomorrow morning I will collect it at the Western Union office and when I add it to the $2,500 that my younger brother will bring it comes to $5,500 so we will be short of $3,500. Please search for avenues to help me make it up so that we will be able to round everything by Monday. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I will do my best to find the extra money Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 09:25:27 Dear Mr Mah, I am disappointed to hear that your brother in law won't be able to come up with all of the money he had promised you. Shame on him for promising something that he couldn't actually deliver. That really is unforgiveable: we were depending on him. I will do my best to find the extra $3,500 by Monday or Tuesday, but I'm afraid I can't promise anything. It all depends on whether we receive any more payments from our creditors today at the brewery. If we do, I will be able to withdraw more money from the brewery's current account early next week; if we don't, then I won't. It's as simple as that. I'll get Grant and Phil, my credit controllers, to phone around a few of my creditors this morning to see if they can rustle up a bit more money. They're usually very good at persuading people to pay their debts quickly. We will just have to keep our fingers crossed. You didn't answer the question I put to you in my last email, Mr Mah. When do you think the security company will be able to deliver the consignment to Madrid? Do you think we will be looking at a date towards the end of next week, or some time the week after? Please advise so that I can make provisional plans. I have to say, Mrs Okoye at the security company doesn't seem to be very good at responding to my queries. I asked her yesterday to confirm whether the copy of my online bank statement that I sent her was acceptable as proof that I transferred money to her revenue collector's bank account. I also asked her to advise me exactly which documents I needed to send her, but I haven't heard a word from her on either matter. Is the security company close to you, Mr Mah? I don't suppose there's any chance you could run round there, pop your head round their door and ask Mrs Okoye to stop painting her fingernails and start responding to my emails? It might help move things forward if you could: they don't seem terribly efficient. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: Kindly respond to my questions Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 09:31:11 Mrs Okoye, I put two questions to you yesterday, and I have yet to receive a response to either one of them. For your benefit, here are the questions again:
I would very much appreciate it if you would start treating this business with a touch more urgency, Mrs Okoye. Therefore, I would be grateful if you could respond to this email - and to all of my future emails - as quickly as possible. Let's see a more businesslike attitude from you, Mrs Okoye, starting from now. Gilbert Murray From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: REQUIREMENTS Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 11:37:52 +0100 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED SIR, REQUIREMENTS. May we inform you that GLOBAL SECURITIES has her modalities and policies which guides her in such transactions which you are requesting for. Hereunder are the steps you must meet up with before your application will be considered and granted: A. You are expected to forward to us via fax or email attachment all the related documents that you have to support your claim. B. You will have to send to us inner copies of your international passport or any other form of identification which is accepted internationally. C. You will have to send to us a copy or copies of legal documents in form of letters of administration (proving that you are legally noted by a court of law here as next of kin/beneficiary to the family treasures deposited by MR Muhammad el-Sahedi) and/or provide us with a clarified death certificate of the depositor. D. You will be required to appear in person in our headquarters or employ the services of our accredited attorneys/lawyers to sign the final release documents. Your ability to meet up with the above conditions will determine the speed with which you will be attended to. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: Here are the documents you need Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 12:02:16 Dear Mrs Okoye, Thank you for confirming precisely what documentation you need from me in order to move forward. What a fine example of copy and paste that was. I have gathered together all of the documentation that I have relating to this business and attached it to this email. Please let me know as soon as you have received the documents so I know that they got through to you safely. Incidentally, Mrs Okoye, I asked you two questions in my last email. You have only answered one of them. I can only assume that the screenshot of my online bank statement did indeed provide you with the proof you needed regarding the transfer of money to your revenue collector. Please let me know as soon as the money appears in your revenue collector's bank account. If I may say so, Mrs Okoye, when I ask you two questions, I expect you to give me two answers in reply. I can only assume that you are relatively new to your job. Kindly ensure that you read my future emails more carefully to ensure that you do not miss out on any important information. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THAT'S OK Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 04:25:16 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please scan and send to the security company all the documents that I sent to you including your international passport. I have resolved with Mr Debie for the signing of the documents to be by next Tuesday so write to the security company and inform them that your lawyer and representative will be in their office next Tuesday to sign the documents on your behalf. Let them know that Mr Debie your lawyer has the power of attorney from you to represent you. Please do everything within your powers to complete the remaining $8,500 so that if you send them to me that Monday I will use them to tidy up everything. From the look of things next week Thursday will be fine for us to be in Madrid or what do you think? WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I will do as you suggest Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 14:03:17 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I actually sent the documents off to the security company this morning. I am still waiting for Mrs Okoye to get back to me and let me know that she has received them safely. Tell me, Mr Mah, have you met this Mrs Okoye? I've never come across anyone in my life who is so bad at responding to emails... and even when she does deign to respond to me, she doesn't actually answer the questions that I have put to her half the time. I only hope that the rest of the security company's employees are a bit more capable. Anyway, I will do as you suggest and write to Mrs Okoye to let her know that Mr Debie will visit them on Tuesday to sign all the necessary paperwork. As for Madrid, next Thursday sounds good to me. Do have a good weekend, my dear chap. I have a feeling that everything is finally coming together now. I don't think it will be long before we are toasting our success with the finest champagne in Madrid! Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: My lawyer will be visiting you on Tuesday Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 14:05:32 Dear Mrs Okoye, A quick note to inform you that my lawyer and representative, Mr Debie, will be visiting your offices next Tuesday in order to sign all the paperwork and do whatever else is necessary to finalise this transaction. He has my full authority to act on my behalf. I trust that this will be acceptable to you. Please let me know either way. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Happy weekend Sent: Sat, 06 May 2006 04:17:50 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please pardon me for not being able to get back to you yesterday, I was off to see my doctor. I may not write you again today because I will be travelling to the village to be with my old parents for the FATHERING SUNDAY which comes up tomorrow. I am a ROMAN CATHOLIC by faith and my old father requested that we should come home to celebrate with him. I promise to write you as soon as I come back to the city tomorrow evening. Please use this weekend to tidy up your own end. HAPPY WEEKEND. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: GOOD MORNING Sent: Sun, 07 May 2006 22:32:08 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Good morning. I came back with my family late yesterday night. I am getting ready to go to the security company this morning as soon as the office is open to discuss the final stages with the Operations Manager because as far as I am concerned I am sure that this Thursday's appointment in Madrid must be a success. I want to be sure that all is ready and that after signing tomorrow of the final documents that by Wednesday the consignment will be transported to Madrid for our collection on Thursday. I will let you know my findings and conclusion with them as soon as I come back. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: LEST I FORGET Sent: Sun, 07 May 2006 22:47:10 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, I forgot to direct you on how to send the $8,500 by Western Union this morning. Please send the $8,500 in two instalments of $4,500 and $4,000 as follows:
Please use the same test question and answer for the two and please send to me the other details as soon as you transfer the money to help me tidy up things today because I do not know yet how hectic tomorrow may be. Lest I forget, when you get to the Western Union office do not tell anybody about our deal. Simply tell them that you are sending the money to your schoolmate who now resides in Nigeria. I am waiting for the transfer details from you as soon as you do it to enable me to pick them up today. WILLIAMS From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 08:56:39 +0100 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED SIR, We write to acknowledge the receipt of the documents that you sent in by attachment and we are also waiting for the confirmation of the transfer that you made to our revenue collector's bank account. As you wrote, direct your lawyer to be in the Operations Department between the hours of 8am and 5pm tomorrow. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye; Cc: Williams Mbah Subject: What the hell is going on? Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 09:25:11 Mrs Okoye, I received the following email from my bank manager first thing this morning:
I am aghast, Mrs Okoye. I am in a state of shock. Can you please explain what is going on here? What on earth were you thinking of, asking me to transfer money to a bank account that is being used for criminal activities? Does this mean that your revenue collector is involved in criminal activities? But you are a security company. Surely there is no way you would employ a criminal? I am assuming that you are as shocked by this news as I was, Mrs Okoye. I expect you to look into this matter at once, and I would appreciate an explanation from you by return. This also means that we need to identify another way for me to get your fees to you: it goes without saying that there is no way I am going to transfer money into a criminal's bank account. I think you need to take a long hard look at your procedures, Mrs Okoye... and probably your modalities too. There's obviously something seriously wrong with the way you do things. Get back to me as soon as you can with an explanation. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: The security company has asked me to transfer money into a criminal's bank account! Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 09:28:05 Dear Mr Mah, I presume that you have read the email that I have just sent to Mrs Okoye, which I copied to you. I'm completely confused... I can't understand what on earth is going on. According to my bank manager, the bank account that Mrs Okoye directed me to transfer my money into is being used by criminals of some sort! This is astounding news: what on earth is a reputable security company like this doing employing a criminal as its revenue collector? Thank heavens that my bank's automated systems picked up on this and cancelled my transfer. Can you explain any of this, Mr Mah? I'm completely baffled. I've got a few meetings booked this morning, but I'm going to cancel them so that I can visit my bank and try to find out more about what's going on here. This is extremely troubling news. I'll tell you one thing, Mr Mah. Mrs Okoye had better be able to come up with a damn good explanation for all this. And she'd better come up with one fast. I'm not transferring a penny more to that security company until I know exactly what's going on here. I'll get back to you once I get back from the bank. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WHAT DO WE DO? Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 02:17:04 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please I do not know what to say or do about this development and I did not meet with Operations Manager that I went to see rather I was told to come back later in the day. Please can you go to any Western Union office and send to me in my name the $9,700 equivalent so that I will hand it over to Mr Debie tomorrow morning for him to pay it cash at their office tomorrow? Please consider this and send me the details. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: SERIOUS Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 02:46:12 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please can you give me a call from anywhere on +234-80-59881154? Let's discuss on this development as I am worried now. I am worried. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I'm not transferring any more money to anybody until I know exactly what's going on here Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 12:05:22 Dear Mr Mah, I have just got back from my bank. I have read the emails you sent to me while I was away. You say that you are worried about this situation? Well I can assure you, my friend, that you're not as worried as I am. I very nearly transferred over 5,000 of my own money into the bank account of a fraudster, for God's sake! Thank heavens that my bank is so diligent: if what they are saying is right, I could very easily have lost that money! When I got to the bank this morning I spoke to my bank manager, Nat West, about what had happened. He didn't know much more than what he told me in the email he sent to me this morning, so while I was there in the bank he called this BIAFRA organisation again and asked them for more information on what exactly the problem was. The chap he spoke to at BIAFRA printed off a more detailed report which shows the details they have on the bank account that Mrs Okoye told me to transfer the money to, and he faxed it over to the bank there and then. Nat West gave me a copy of the report, and I've scanned it in and attached it to this email so that you can see what's been happening yourself. Take a look at the report, Mr Mah. As you can see, it looks as if this bank account is being used by fraudsters of some description! I really don't know what's going on here. Why on earth would the security company encourage me to transfer money into a bank account that's implicated in fraudulent activities? I just don't understand it. It doesn't make sense. Tell me about this security company, my friend. Is it totally legitimate? Do you think it's just the revenue collector who is involved in some sort of fraud, or could the entire security company be implicated? If so, do you think it's safe to entrust them with any of our money? Whatever's going on here, this all smells fishier than a barrel of isinglass to me, Mr Mah. What's more, I still haven't heard a word from Mrs Okoye, which makes me even more suspicious. Well until I receive a decent explanation from her - one that I'm happy with - I'm not transferring any more money to anybody: if this security company is mixed up in some kind of fraud, how do I know that my money will be safe? Mrs Okoye had better get back to me with an explanation quickly. I've a good mind to go to the police and see if they can shed any light on the matter... or perhaps it would be better if you went to the police over there in Nigeria. What do you think, my friend? What should we do? Do you want to go to the police, or shall I? Best regards, Gilbert Murray  From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye; Cc: Williams Mbah Subject: How do you explain this? Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 12:07:28 Mrs Okoye, Why have you not got back to me yet in response to the email I sent to you earlier today? What the hell is going on over there? I have just returned from my bank, where I asked my bank manager for more information about this fraudulent account you asked me to transfer my money into. My bank manager contacted this BIAFRA organisation and got them to fax through a report on the bank account in question, which I have attached to this email. How do you explain this, Mrs Okoye? What the blazes is going on? You have got some explaining to do, my dear lady. I am not going to be transferring any more money to anybody until I receive a satisfactory explanation from you as to what all this means. I have a good mind to go to the police and see what they make of all this. Get back to me at once and let me have your version of events. And let's have no more of these damn delays, do I make make myself clear? Gilbert Murray A copy of the forged BIAFRA report was attached to this email. From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: OUR REACTION Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 12:21:34 +0100 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED SIR, OUR REACTION. This is a reaction to your mail of this morning regarding our revenue collector's bank account. We have been using Shaanxi Kaicheng Inv & Ind Co Ltd, Lester Lin Co Ltd and Luke Lin Co Ltd as agents for our revenue collectors for years now and have never had problems with them concerning our funds. We have never known Shaanxi Kaicheng Inv & Ind Co Ltd to be involved in terrorism and otherwise. Note that we write this mail to you to clear your mind and to ask you to withdraw your funds from Shaanxi Kaicheng Inv & Ind Co Ltd's bank account if you feel that you do not have confidence in their account as stated by your bankers while we forward to you another account being held by another of our agents. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Consider Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 04:43:18 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, I am really confused at this development though I know the security company very well at least during the days of my late boss and I have been going there with him so I know from my view of them that such a big company cannot be involved in criminal activities but what I do not know is the activities of that their money collectors' agents. From what I know about the security company, they are not owned by indigens (sic) here, they are foreign and maybe their agents are sponsors of terrorism. Please I still suggest that we make direct payment so that this development will not draw us back. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye; Cc: Williams Mbah Subject: What action are you going to take against your crooked revenue collector? Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 12:55:16 Mrs Okoye, I have just read your email. It sounds to me as if you don't actually know much about what's going on in your own company. My bank has reported to me that the bank account that is being used by your revenue collector is being used for fraudulent purposes. Surely as a security company you should know if your employees are involved in anything criminal? Surely at the merest whiff of anything fraudulent, your procedures - and your modalities, whatever they are - should mean that you come down on the individual in question like a ton of bricks? Well I want to know what you're planning to do about this, Mrs Okoye. At the very least, I presume that you are going to sack the individual in question. After all, the reputation of your security company is at stake. On top of that, I'm presuming that you're going to go to the police and report this crooked revenue collector. Mind you, from reading between the lines of that BIAFRA report I sent you, it sounds as if the authorities are closing in fast already on your revenue collector and his criminal gang. And a good thing too, I'm sure you'd agree. String 'em up, that's what I say. So, Mrs Okoye, what are you planning to do about this crooked individual? I demand to know. Gilbert Murray PS. There is no need for me to withdraw my money from that fraudster's bank account: my bank automatically stopped the transfer as soon as it became apparent that something was wrong. You'd have known that already if you'd have bothered to read my emails properly. Given that you work in the high pressure world of international security, you're not very meticulous, are you? From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: So you think that the security company is involved in sponsoring terrorism, do you? Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 13:04:38 Dear Mr Mah, So you think that the security company's agents are involved in sponsoring terrorism, do you? That's an appalling state of affairs, my friend! Why on earth are we getting involved with such a bunch of criminal scum? And what about the fraudsters that were mentioned in the BIAFRA report? Do you think that the security company is riddled with fraudsters? Is that what you're telling me? Something very fishy is going on around here Mr Mah. I repeat, I'm not prepared to transfer any more money to anybody until we've got to the bottom of it. I'm not prepared to condone the sponsoring of terrorism, and neither should you be, for God's sake! I'm still not convinced that this security company is on the level. Do you think we should go to the police, Mr Mah? Do you? Well? DO YOU? Gilbert Murray From: Stella Okoye To: Gilbert Murray Subject: HOLD ON Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 13:13:06 +0100 GLOBAL SECURITIES/FINANCE LIMITED SIR, HOLD ON. Note that we have sent this unpleasant report to the Managing Director to look into and he is already making contacts with our mother company in China as delay in this may cause a detrimental impression to this honourable company. We advise that you hold on and let him dig in to find out what is actually going on since this particular agent also has their main office in China. Also be aware that this security company cannot and will never be a party to criminal activities and be rest assured that at the end if it is proven that such our agent has such criminal intentions that we shall stop our contract with them and at the same time let the Chinese authorities to get hold of them. Our regrets. Yours faithfully, STELLA OKOYE (MRS) Secretary to the Operations Manager From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: They cannot be Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 05:28:35 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, I really do not think that the security company can be supporting terrorism because that will be so bad of them. About two minutes ago I got their Operations Manager on his direct number and alerted him of this development and he sounded so bad though he is a Nigerian and a Christian by faith and he told me that from the time he was employed in the company that something of this sort has never happened and that whatever the case may be that their money collectors' agents may have the answer to this and that his manager who hails from Asia should know the agents. Anyway, I am happy that your bank was fast to have noticed that the account was associated with terrorism or something like that and stopped the transfer but my friend this is a blessing to us, note that. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye; Cc: Williams Mbah Subject: But what about the fraudsters in Africa? Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 14:20:02 Dear Mrs Okoye, Thank you for your email. Although I am pleased to see that you have started to investigate this disgraceful lapse in security (one that is almost unforgiveable, given the fact that you are in fact a security company), from what you are saying, it sounds as if you are confining your investigation to your crooked associates in China. Have you forgotten that the BIAFRA report referred to the fact that the account was "known to be used by West African 419 advance fee fraudsters"? This suggests to me that your crooked asian associate must have one or more contacts in West Africa... possibly within your own security company. The way things stand at the moment, I am extremely disinclined to transfer any more money to your company. If it does indeed turn out to be riddled with fraudsters, what guarantee do I have that my money will be safe? I think you need to widen the net of your investigation, Mrs Okoye. It sounds to me as if your company is rotten to the core. I for one will not be transferring any more money to your company until I am confident that you have taken steps to stamp out any hints of criminality throughout your organisation. I need convincing that my money will be safe if I transfer it to you, Mrs Okoye. A signed statement from your Managing Director, guaranteeing the safety of my money, might do the trick. The ball is in your court. I shall await developments. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Let us wait and see what the security company comes up with Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 14:25:42 Dear Mr Mah, This whole affair has been a huge shock to me. To think that I came so close to sending my money to a fraudster... and one who was employed by a so-called "security company". Mrs Okoye appears to be taking steps to get to the bottom of this matter. I am not convinced that she is doing enough, but all the same, I think we should do as she suggests and await the outcome of the security company's investigations. I will be unavailable for the rest of the day: I have to attend the meetings that I postponed this morning. Hopefully when I check my emails again tomorrow morning, Mrs Okoye will have got back to me with some good news, and with the reassurance I have asked for. If this affair proves anything, my friend, it's that you just can't trust anybody these days... present company excepted, of course. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: A SOLUTION Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 22:09:35 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Good morning. I had a restless night and I kept thinking about a solution out of this ugly situation and I think that there is a way out. I suggest that since we already have an appointment with Mr Debie and the security company today that I should go on with the appointment to sign the final documents. What I mean is that it will be good for you to write to the security company and openly tell them that you are sending the lawyer and your representative for the signing as agreed before with the processing fees cash. Tell them that you do not want to transfer any money through any account and that you want to pay them cash. To this effect I will then go to my bank and get money from my account and hand it over to Mr Debie to pay for the processing fees. Why I suggested this is because time waits for no man and I know what I have passed through in planning this deal and I do not want the security company's internal problem to affect my life and after all if we move this $40.5 million out of the security company we will have nothing to do with them again. Please write to them this morning and inform them so that Mr Debie and I will conclude with them today. Digest this suggestion because I believe it is a way out for us. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WAITING Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 00:43:00 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please where are you? Get back to me let me know what step to take today. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Please clarify exactly what you mean Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 09:21:16 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I was so worried about what has happened with the security company that I too was barely able to sleep last night. My wife complained that she was finding it difficult to sleep as well, with me lying next to her tossing all the way through the night. I'm afraid that I don't quite understand what you are suggesting. Are you suggesting that I don't transfer any money to the security company, but that you will withdraw the $9,700 from your bank account and pay the security company in person when you visit them today with Mr Debie? Is that what you are suggesting? How is that possible, my friend? I thought you didn't have the $9,700. Given that last week we were scraping around to raise enough money to pay all the various fees relating to this transaction, how come you are suddenly able to withdraw $9,700 from your bank account to pay the security company? Where has this money suddenly appeared from? Or have I misunderstood you? If this is indeed the case - that you do in fact now have the $9,700 readily available - then this is excellent news: we will be able to get the money to the security company without going through their crooked revenue collector. Please get back to me as soon as you can with clarification so that I can write to Mrs Okoye and let her know what is going on. I will be waiting to hear from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: REMEMBER Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 02:10:50 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Have you forgot that last week I raised $10,000 from Joe my in law and raised $20,000 from the mortgage of my jeep? Have you forgot that Joe later sent me $3,000 instead of the $6,500 he promised? Have you forgot that my junior brother sent me $2,000? Have you forgot that all this money is still intact with me waiting to be disbursed? Why I suggested that I go on with the security company this morning is for us to move ahead so that if you send to me by Western Union later today I will use it to replace the $9,700 and the $8,500 for make up and pay to the diplomatic unit for transportation of the consignment. Please think back and you will understand this arithmetic very well. I suggested to move on with the security company this morning because of the delay in sending money to me. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: REMEMBERED Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 10:40:11 Dear Mr Mah, Ah, now I see what you mean. I do indeed remember that last week you raised $10,000 from Joe your in law and raised $20,000 from the mortgage of your jeep. I do indeed remember that Joe later sent you $3,000 instead of the $6,500 he promised. I do indeed remember that your junior brother sent you $2,000. I do indeed remember that all this money is still intact with you waiting to be disbursed. Now that I understand what you mean, I think you have come up with an excellent plan. I will contact Mrs Okoye immediately and let her know that she can expect you and Mr Debie sometime later this morning with the $9,700. Do get back to me as soon as you have completed things with the security company... and please forward on scanned copies of all of the signed documentation once you and Mr Debie have finished your business. I also expect to receive a scanned copy of a receipt, showing that the security company has received the $9,700 from you. I don't mind telling you that after everything that happened yesterday, I wouldn't trust the people in that security company as far as I could throw them. Whatever you do, DO NOT leave their offices without a receipt that you can send to me. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye; Cc: Williams Mbah Subject: A change of plan Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 10:40:38 Dear Mrs Okoye, There has been a change of plan. Rather than transferring the $9,700 to you via some other bank account which may or may not have been compromised by fraudsters and other criminals, I have arranged with Mr Debie, my lawyer, that he will bring you your fees in cash. Therefore, please expect to see Mr Debie walk through your door (along with my associate, Mr Mah) later this morning to sign all of the relevant paperwork and to hand over your fees to you. Please ensure that you give Mr Debie and my associate a receipt for the $9,700. I have instructed them to forward me a copy of the receipt as soon as they have completed their business with you. Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THANK YOU Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 03:01:55 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Now that I have put you clear, go and send to me in my name as I guided you yesterday the $9,700 and $8,500 so that as soon as I come back from the security company then I will proceed with the security company to pay their $38,000 for the transportation of the consignment to Madrid because as far as I am concerned Thursday is still a reality to be in Spain. You can send the money in two instalments of $9,000 and $9,200. Please do this immediately so that I will pick them up as soon as I come back. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WE ARE GOING NOW Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 04:45:39 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Mr Debie has arrived in Enugu and I am going to meet up with him. From there we will proceed and I hope to give you good news before the end of today. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Don't forget to get a receipt Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 13:16:38 Dear Mr Mah, That is excellent news. Good luck to you both at the security company... and whatever you do, don't come away without a receipt from them. I want to see a copy of that - and of the documents that Mr Debie signs - before we go any further, to ensure that things are on track. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: How did it go at the security company? Sent: Tue, 09 May 2006 16:24:18 Dear Mr Mah, How did it go at the security company? Did things run smoothly for you and Mr Debie? I do hope that the security company staff didn't have any suspicions about my relationship with your dead boss. Presumably if they did, Mr Debie was able to persuade them that we were indeed related. I am looking forward to receiving the scanned copies of the signed documents and the receipt from you. I've got to leave the brewery now to interview a potential new Marketing Manager, and I won't be back in the office until the morning. I look forward to perusing the documents first thing tomorrow. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Good news: my credit controllers, Grant and Phil, have just got back. They've done an excellent job of persuading some of my creditors to pay up - it's amazing how persuasive two large men with baseball bats can be - and as they collected in cash as instructed, we now definitely have all of the money that we require to complete this transaction. From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Did everything go to plan? Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 08:57:19 Dear Mr Mah, How did it go at the security company? I'm surprised that you didn't get back to me yesterday to give me a progress update. Did Mr Debie get all the documentation signed as planned? Get back to me as soon as you can, my friend - with scanned copies of the documentation and the receipt from the security company: I'm on tenterhooks here, waiting to find out if everything went well. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attached is the receipt Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 01:01:31 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, Good morning. Yesterday was fine and smooth. We excelled through, there were no stumbling blocks. The booklet where the forms and documents signed are with me now and I will come along with it to Madrid and there is no need tearing them to be able to scan. The consignment is waiting for lifting and you must send the required money this morning as I directed you yesterday so that I will pick them up and make up for the $38,000 to pay to the diplomatic unit. Attached is the receipt from the security company. I also completed Mr Debie's fees yesterday and he promised to send to me the receipt by email attachment this morning as soon as he gets to his office and I also gave him your own email address so that he will forward it to you. Please do not waste time to get back to me with the details of the Western Union transfer. WILLIAMS  From: John Debie To: Williams Mbah; Cc: Gilbert Murray Subject: FROM MR JOHN DEBIE Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 01:32:17 -0700 (PDT) DEAR MR WILLIAMS, Find attached the cash receipt as we agreed yesterday. I also sent across the receipt to Mr Gilbert as you suggested. The original will come to you today by IFEX COURIER SERVICE so please keep us informed as soon as you pick it. Thanks a lot for your understanding. Kind regards, Debie JU  From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: OK Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 01:50:54 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please confirm to me if you received the receipt from the security company and also the one I forwarded to you from MR DEBIE. I will come along with me the booklet containing the forms and documents to Madrid because there is no need tearing it to scan. I am waiting for you to get back to me with Western Union details to enable me to pay the diplomatic unit today. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I will go straight to the Western Union office Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 09:53:53 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I'm delighted to hear that things went well yesterday. Please give Mr Debie a pat on the head from me when you see him by way of thanks. Thank you also for sending me a copy of the receipt. I trust that you can understand why I was so keen to see it: after what happened the other day, I don't trust that security company at all. I'll be happy when we've concluded our business and we don't have to have anything more to do with them. I received the copy of Mr Debie's receipt too, by the way. I was extremely disappointed to see that you hadn't scanned in the rest of the documentation as I requested. Still, as long as you bring the documents along with you to Madrid, I suppose that will be alright. Right, to business. I will go straight to the Western Union office to transfer the money to you. I'll get back to you as soon as I return. My nearest Western Union agent is quite some distance away, so I might be some time: I will probably be away for most of the morning. I don't mind telling you that I'm getting very excited now: I feel as if I can almost taste the money! Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WAITING Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 02:00:20 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please remember to transfer the money in two instalments as follows: $9,200 and $9,000. Just tell the agents that you are sending the money to your schoolmate that resides in Africa. Do not go discussing much with them or telling them about this deal.
I am waiting. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: A major problem Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 11:48:41 Dear Mr Mah, I've just got back from my nearest Western Union office - which isn't actually very near at all - and I'm afraid there's a major problem: I won't be able to transfer the money to you via Western Union. I explained to the Western Union agent that I wanted to transfer a large amount of money to someone in Nigeria, but the agent told me straight away that I wouldn't be able to. Apparently there is a 500 limit on the amount anyone can transfer from the UK to someone in Nigeria within a thirty day period. The Western Union agent told me that this limit had been introduced to cut down on the number of fraudulent transactions that originate from Nigeria that involve Western Union transactions. She handed me a leaflet called "Consumer Fraud Awareness" which explained all about it. I've had a quick read through it, and by the sound of it there are an awful lot of fraudsters over there in Nigeria. It must make you feel terribly ashamed to know that there are so many criminal scumbags in Nigeria who are besmirching the good name of your country around the world. Once she had handed me the leaflet, the Western Union agent started asking me an awful lot of questions about who I was transferring all this money to. I may have been mistaken, my friend, but I got the distinct impression that she thought that I was in danger of falling victim to a fraudster! Of course, I laughed off her concerns, and assured her that I would trust the person I was transferring money to with my life. Anyway, that's beside the point. What concerns me is that I won't be able to use Western Union to transfer this money to you. Well, I could do, but as I can only transfer 500 every thirty days, I reckon that it would take me about a year and a half to get all of the money to you! And I don't think the security company will be willing to wait that long for us. I do have a suggestion though. If you can persuade the diplomatic unit to accept cash on delivery, I could bring the money with me to Madrid - in cash - and we could pay them when we collect the consignment. That wouldn't be a problem for me; I've withdrawn the money from the bank already and it's sitting here in my desk drawer. What do you reckon, Mr Mah? Do you think you'll be able to persuade the diplomatic unit to accept cash on delivery? Or do you have a better idea? Please get back to me as soon as you can: this is extrememly troubling. What's more, we're supposed to be in Madrid tomorrow, but I still haven't booked myself a ticket. If the diplomatic unit can still make the delivery to Madrid tomorrow, we need to get things sorted out as quickly as we can so that I can get myself a last minute ticket. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Just relax Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 04:23:09 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, In order not to waste more time I am going off now to pick a local flight to Abuja to discuss this issue with the diplomatic unit and if they agree I will pay to them with the leftover in my account and then ask them to hold on so that we pay them cash on delivery in Madrid. Just go back to the Western Union office and transfer 500 to me now so that I will use it to get the stamp duty in Abuja. I hope that by the time I get to Abuja in the next 1 hour 30 minutes you must have transferred it. I will get back to you after discussing with their boss through a nearby internet centre there. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: You've never mentioned stamp duty before Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 12:42:23 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I'm glad to hear that you seem confident that you will be able to persuade the diplomatic unit to accept cash on delivery. However, what's all this about stamp duty? You've never mentioned this to me before. Is this some new charge that we've got to pay? Given that we're strapped for cash anyway, I must insist that you tell me about any new charges that come our way as soon as you are aware of them: we can ill afford to pay anything extra. Unfortunately, it's not going to be possible for me to go back to the Western Union office today; as I have told you on a number of occasions, it's actually quite some distance away from me, and I have meetings that I simply cannot afford to miss this afternoon. However, this shouldn't be a problem for us. Have you forgotten that last week you raised $10,000 from Joe your in law and raised $20,000 from the mortgage of your jeep? Have you forgotten that Joe later sent you $3,000 instead of the $6,500 he promised? Have you forgotten that your junior brother sent you $2,000? Have you forgotten that apart from the $30,700 you paid out yesterday to Mr Debie and the security company, this money is still intact with you waiting to be disbursed? By my reckoning, you must still have a good few thousand dollars in your bank account, so you can easily afford to pay for this stamp duty yourself: you don't need me to transfer 500 to you. Now then, Mr Mah, please get back to me as soon as you can this afternoon and let me know if we're still on for a meeting tomorrow in Madrid. If you ask me, we're cutting it a bit fine. Personally, I think we'd be better off postponing things for a couple of days to enable us to make proper arrangements. I mean, neither of us have actually booked our flight tickets to Madrid yet. What do you reckon? Should we put it off until next week? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WE ARE STILL GOING Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 06:36:36 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Things are not going bad anyway. Mr Paya who is heading the unit said that their payment must be complete for them to deliver the consignment for us and he accepted the conditions that I pay to them here if I can but I explained to him that I am only representing you who is the beneficiary to the family treasures so we made the agreement that I will pay to them today the $18,000 remaining in my account cash and then you transfer to his account today the remaining $20,000 for them to carry on the transportation. He gave me the account to be transferred the money into in Madrid, Spain as follows:
Please for us to be on the fast side try and transfer the $20,000 to his account today and let me have the slip by attachment so that I will give it to him here in Abuja handy because what it means is that I will stay back here till you send to me the transfer slip to enable me to hand it over to him because after writing this mail to you I will take his second to the nearest branch of my bank here in Abuja and pay them the $18,000 that is left there in my domiciliary account (my dollar account). WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THIS IS TO PUT YOU CLEAR Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 06:39:01 -0700 (PDT) This mail is to put you clear. Remember that before paying $9,700 to the security company yesterday that I had a total of $35,000 in my account. And after paying $9,700 I paid $6,000 to complete Debie's fees. Remember that I had paid Debie $15,000 as a deposit for this work which he said that he will not give me a receipt until I complete his fees so yesterday I completed it by paying $6,000 to him after the signing of the documents. I have to put you clear so that you do not get confused because you thought that I paid Debie's complete money from the $35,000. I only spent $15,700 out of it yesterday. The $15,000 that I used to pay to Debie last week was from my savings. I gave you these details so that you don't get confused. All that we need now is for you to transfer to the diplomat's account $20,000 to complete for the transportation cost and let me have the slip to hand over to them here before I go back to Enugu to get prepared for Madrid. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Your email has only served to confuse matters Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 15:47:03 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I am glad to hear that you arrived safely in Abuja, despite the lamentable safety record of your country's airlines. No doubt your heart must be in your mouth each time the plane jolts, not knowing whether you are about to fall straight to the ground like a stone or whether you have merely hit a spot of turbulence. Now then, you say that the diplomat is demanding cash in hand before he will arrange for the transfer of the consignment. Well if I transfer the money into his bank account, he won't have cash in hand; my bank has advised me that it takes between three to seven working days for international bank transfers to be completed. This means that even if I transferred the money today, it might not appear in his account for over a week. If you ask me, it would be far better for me to take the cash with me to Madrid and to hand it over to the diplomat in person. It would be easier for all of us... and much quicker too. Transferring the money into his bank account would take far too long. As for the question of money, I'm sorry to say that your attempt to clarify the situation has only served to confuse matters further. You said in your last email that I need to come up with $20,000 to complete this transaction. But up until then, I was only expecting to have to pay $18,200. How has this amount suddenly increased from $18,200 to $20,000, Mr Mah? I'm having to effectively steal money out of the brewery's current account as it is to come up with the $18,200... I certainly can't afford an extra $1,800! I thought you had the rest of the money, Mr Mah. What's happened to it? Why are we suddenly $1,800 down? You haven't squandered it on wine, women and song, have you? This money is important, for heaven's sake: the success of this transaction rests on it! We can't afford to have you go pissing $1,800 up the wall right in the middle of things! Furthermore, it's all very well for you to tell me that we are still going to Madrid tomorrow, but let us look at the facts of the matter:
I am sorry, Mr Mah, but this is turning into a complete shambles. If you don't mind me saying so, your organisational skills leave something to be desired. Well, first things first: the money. I can only come up with $18,200. I cannot come up with a penny more. Do you have the rest of the money that we need to complete this business, or not? Because if you don't have it, we're stumped. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. What on earth is a Spaniard doing working as a diplomat for the Nigerian presidency anyway? From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 08:45:32 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, This is not the time for you to be laying blames on me after all I have been very careful in spending the monies that I got. I am just coming out from the bank and what was left in my domicilliary account was $19,000, out of which I withdrew and paid $18,000 to him. Please Gilbert, even though that you are not here but you can still imagine what I am going through trying to put things in order. Listen to me, please find means and transfer to their account the $20,000 today so that this deal will be concluded this week because from what I am seeing we are not moving tomorrow but let it not exceed this weekend so that by this time next week we shall be resting and talking of investment. To make things easier, take that money to another bank and transfer it. Do not use the online bank because it seems that they delay in transfers. Use a ground bank instead and not online so that we can be fast. I am waiting for the slip please. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: So, we are not going to Madrid tomorrow after all Sent: Wed, 10 May 2006 16:59:12 Dear Mr Mah, So, we are not going to Madrid tomorrow after all. Didn't I tell you that I thought we were rushing ahead of ourselves? In fact I've told you that on a number of occasions if my memory serves me correctly. Look, Mr Mah, I'm getting sick of all these long emails that don't seem to get us anywhere. Let us cut to the chase. Here are the facts:
I have the cash here in my desk drawer, Mr Mah. If you can come up with the $1,800 that you seem to have somehow squandered, and if you can persuade the diplomat to accept cash in hand as I suggested, then I will hand over the cash to him in Madrid. That would be far simpler and far quicker than transferring the money from bank to bank. It's up to you now, Mr Mah. Go back to this Paya chap and use your powers of persuasion to get him to accept cash on delivery. Then we can make arrangements to travel to Madrid one day next week and complete this business. I am going out for the evening, so I won't be checking my emails again until the morning. Hopefully you will have some good news for me by then. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Urgent urgent Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 01:12:31 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Good morning. Please as soon as you read this mail kindly write to the security company and inform them officially that diplomats from the diplomatic unit of the presidency headed by Mr Manuel Paya will be arriving in their office at 10am this morning to lift your inherited family treasures for delivery to Madrid, Spain. Get yourself ready to be in Madrid tomorrow (12/05/06) because I will be arriving late because of distance. All you need to do is to get your ticket ready this morning and tidy up anything that might delay you because the consignment will leaving in your name and you are supposed to be there ready before any other person for clearing, signing and collection. Later this morning I will give you the procedures on how we will meet in Madrid because the diplomats said that they will give me phone numbers and the hotel address where we shall meet with proper directions so do not worry about this. Please note that this is the last stage and that we are all here in Abuja all through the night tidying the process. Gilbert, I have longed to meet you in person and in less than 24 hours from now we shall be jubilating. Get your ticket now and let me have your flight name and arrival time so that I will let them know. WILLIAMS From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: DIRECTIVES Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 01:13:48 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, This is directives on how things will work out for us. I agreed with the diplomats that on arrival that we will hand over to them the remaining $18,500 as I will give them $1,000 this morning when we get to Enugu because they have waived the $500 on top after my pressures and a lot of explanations yesterday night. Please Gilbert, do not go about engaging them in arguments because they are considerate enough to have agreed with me to this extent. Please take note to have 100% co-operation with them because they will give us all the assistance we may need until the funds are lodged in a bank in Madrid. I agreed with them that they will give me details of a hotel and phone numbers and an address of how we will meet on arrival and I will forward to you all these details later today. Please note that as soon as you meet with them that you will hand over to them the remaining $18,500 before they will release the consignment to us. According to them they will use part of it to clear the consignment and pay for landing tax there because this is why they charged us up to $38,000 to deliver to us the consignment. Please note that this time you and I need 100% co-operation because for me I am looking at myself as a millionaire now. Gilbert, my days of lacking money has expired and I am now a millionaire. I will see you tomorrow. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: This is excellent news! Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 09:51:16 Dear Mr Mah, This is excellent news! Thank heavens that you were able to persuade the diplomats to accept cash on delivery! I knew you'd be able to do it if you tried hard enough, my friend. Well done! This is all terribly exciting. I will write to Mrs Okoye immediately and inform her that Mr Paya and his associates will be collecting the consignment this morning. I have cancelled all of my meetings for tomorrow. But before I go ahead and book a flight to Madrid, I will need to know what time I need to get there, and how long I will need to be in Madrid for: will I be able to fly home later tomorrow, or should I leave my return flight open? I have a good mind to leave the flight open so that you and I can have a night out on the town in order to celebrate our good fortune. Please advise me about this as soon as you can. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Stella Okoye Subject: Information Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 09:53:55 Dear Mrs Okoye, Please be advised that diplomats from the diplomatic unit of the presidency headed by Mr Manuel Paya will be arriving in your office at 10am this morning to collect my inherited family treasures for delivery to Madrid, Spain. I would appreciate it if you could give them all the assistance they require. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. How are your investigations into that fraudster going? Have you handed the man over to the Chinese authorities yet? From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: SO FAR Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 02:54:01 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please note that we will be in Madrid for not more than 48 hours and I want you to make sure that you arrive Madrid at the early hours of tomorrow because the diplomats are leaving today so that you will be with them before my own arrival. You are the principal person now because the consignment is in your name and you are the person to hand over the $18,500 to them. I am waiting for them to communicate me with the details of how you will locate them on arrival and I will detail you also. Please go straight and get your ticket and let me have your travel details so that I will also let them know. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I have booked a flight to Madrid Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 11:28:56 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. As soon as I received it I logged on to British Airways' website to book myself a flight to Madrid. You told me to get there as early as possible. Well, the first flight tomorrow doesn't get into Madrid until nearly midday, so I have actually booked myself onto a flight later today that gets into Madrid late this evening. I have booked myself onto British Airways flight number BA0462, which leaves London Heathrow at 19:50 this evening and arrives in Madrid at 23:00 (local time). I have left my return flight open so that I can travel back whenever is suitable. Tell me, Mr Mah, who will I be meeting in Madrid? And what time do you think you will be able to arrive in the city tomorrow? I thought maybe we could go out for a meal and a few drinks tomorrow night to celebrate. We will certainly have a lot to celebrate! What do you think? Please let me know as soon as you receive more information from the diplomatic unit: I will need to know who to look out for. Given that the diplomats are travelling today, do you think there is any chance that they could meet me at the airport when my flight comes in tonight? I'm terrible at foreign languages and it would make it a lot easier for me if they could. Perhaps they would be willing to take me to a decent hotel - perhaps the one where they will be staying - ready for us to conduct our business in the morning? It would be useful if you could send me the contact details of the diplomats. Well, come to think of it, send me as much information as you possibly can, to make things easier. I am so excited, Mr Mah! This time tomorrow we will be millionaires! The first drinks tomorrow night will be on me, my friend! Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Please get back to me as soon as you can, my friend: I will have to leave midway through the afternoon to get down to Heathrow in time for my flight. From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I need those details from you urgently Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 13:57:17 Dear Mr Mah, I am distressed to see that you haven't yet got back to me yet with details of who I will be meeting in Madrid - and when and where I will be meeting them. I need to leave for my flight in two hours, Mr Mah, so you need to get back to me before then with details of the arrangements you have made. I will take my laptop with me, so we should be able to keep in touch by email during my travels, but I need to know the basics before I leave. First and foremost, will somebody be able to meet me at the airport tonight? I am waiting to hear from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Contact in Madrid Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 06:09:08 -0700 (PDT) DEAR GILBERT, They have concluded with the security company and they are now boarding at the PORT HARCOURT INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. It will take them at least five hours from now to land. Below is the hotel where they want you to call now and make reservations for the two of us. NH Mercader Crta Villaverde-Vallecas Km 3,800, 28053 Madrid Tel: +34-917-866-320 Overview Photos How to Book or Cancel Guest reviews More photos Score from 29 reviews: 8.5 Newly built hotel located in the vicinity of Mercamadrid, the biggest food supplying centre of Madrid. Very close to the M40 highway, offering easy access to the city, the airport and other roads. The hotel has 124 fully equipped rooms, fitness room, sauna and jacuzzi. Rooms: 124 Hotel Chain: NH Hoteles Availability: please enter the dates of your stay to check availability When would you like to stay? From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: More info Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 06:10:30 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please they instructed that as soon as you land in Madrid and check into the hotel that I sent to you in my last mail that you should contact me on phone and email and let me have your hotel room and phone number so that they will come and take you. My phone number remains +234-80-59881154. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Kindly answer my questions Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 14:23:12 Dear Mr Mah, What was that tripe you sent me about hotel photos and reviews and such? If you are going to copy and paste information from a website, at least take the time to get rid of any extraneous information before you send it to me. And how on earth do you expect me to phone ahead and book a hotel room when you know that my telephone is out of action? Your telephone is in full working order, so why not make life easier for us, my friend? You call the hotel and book us a couple of rooms. Besides, all this stuff about hotels is nonsense. You haven't answered my questions. Who will I be meeting in Madrid? I want names and descriptions to help me to recognise them. And when will you be arriving in Madrid, my friend? Have you booked your flight yet? Send me your flight details immediately. And most importantly, I asked you to see if there was any chance that the diplomats could meet me at the airport. They're going to be arriving in Madrid considerably earlier than I am, so presumably this won't be a problem for them. I presume that you have their contact details. Well kindly contact them and instruct them to meet me at the airport when my flight lands at 23:00 tonight. I'm no good on my own in a foreign country and I tend to get rather confused by everyone gabbling at me in a foreign language. I shall expect to be find the diplomats waiting for me in the arrivals hall when I touch down in Madrid. Now send me their names and descriptions at once. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Let me know when you've reserved us our hotel rooms, won't you? If you put the rooms on your credit card we can sort it out when we meet up. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: More info Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 07:16:11 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, JAMES IGWE is the diplomat you will meet in Madrid. He instructed that you copy out the hotel address and give it to any taxi driver on your arrival and the taxi driver will bring you to the hotel for you to check in. He made me understand that they will not go out to pick you up on arrival and that they will be close to the consignment to avoid misplacements and any unforeseen cases. He instructed that once you arrive and pick any taxi and give the taxi the hotel name and address that you will arrive at the hotel safely and check in. Right now I am going to pick up my passport from my travel agency to be able to know the ticket he bought and flight time but I know that I will land in Madrid on time tomorrow. Please do not leave the reservation for me because I still have many other things to tidy here so that you don't be stranded please. The hotel address again: NH Mercader, Crta Villaverde-Vallecas Km 3,800, 28053 Madrid Tel: +34-917-866-320 WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Please send me Mr Wigwe's contact details Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 15:53:42 Dear Mr Mah, Thank you for your email. I am disappointed to hear that the diplomats will not be there to meet me when my flight lands in Madrid. As I said before, I don't speak any Spanish and I do tend to get rather flustered when I find myself in a foreign country where nobody speaks my language. I suppose I will just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best. Nevertheless, provided I manage to find the hotel without any problems, I should be able to meet up with Mr Wigwe tomorrow morning. As I am arriving in Madrid so late tonight, I won't email you after I land until tomorrow morning; I'll probably be so tired when I arrive that all I will want to do is fall into my bed and go straight to sleep. It might be useful if you could send me Mr Wigwe's direct contact details though... and will I be meeting up with Mr Paya as well? As it happens, I was chatting to one of our forklift truck drivers just now and I mentioned that I was travelling over to Spain later today. When I mentioned that I was worried about not speaking a word of Spanish, he told me that he'd been to Spain quite a few times, and he very helpfully wrote down a few handy Spanish phrases that he thought might come in useful over the next few days:
What a helpful chap he is. I'm sure those phrases will come in very useful. Perhaps you would like to make a note of them too for when you arrive in Madrid tomorrow? I am just going to finish off here, then I am going to leave for the airport. I look forward very much to meeting you tomorrow, Mr Mah. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave making the hotel reservations to you: for one thing I've got no phone and for another thing I'm just about to leave for the airport. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: FORWARD Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 18:53:39 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, I read this your mail when you must have gone or on the air. You forgot that this is Africa where we do not operate credit cards like Europe or America. Up till this moment I have not gotten any other information yet from the diplomats but I know that when I wake up from bed in the morning that they must have written me but my agreements with them is that since you will land before me that you have to give to me your room number and your room phone number so that they will contact you and meet up with you before my arrival. From the look of things you people will be on business before my arrival and my arrival will be for our celebration and travelling back together to Lincolnshire. Please as soon as you wake up forward me the details of how they will meet up with you so that if they contact me early morning I will give to them for them to meet up with you. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Please send Mr Wigwe to meet me at once Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 08:45:21 Dear Mr Mah, Well, here I am in Spain. I don't mind telling you that I haven't had a very easy time of it so far. My flight arrived on time, and I found a taxi driver without any problems. My problems began when I arrived at the hotel. It was gone midnight by the time I got there. I introduced myself to the chap on reception, using one of the phrases that my forklift truck driver had taught me. I couldn't work out what the man said in response to me, but I know for a fact that it wasn't anything pleasant. He was terribly rude for some reason. I then found to my dismay that you hadn't made any reservations for us! What were you thinking of, Mr Mah? I told you I wouldn't be able to do that myself, so I was relying on you there. Do I have to do everything myself? Anyway, when I told the chap on reception that I would like a room (using another one of my forklift driver's handy phrases), he gave me such a black look that I thought for a moment that he was going to strike me! He was so unpleasant to me that I decided to leave and find myself another hotel. I hailed another taxi, and asked the driver (who just about understood English) to take me to another good hotel. And that is how I ended up here, at the Hotel Silken Puerta Castilla on the Paseo de la Castellana. It was extremely late when I arrived here. When I introduced myself to the receptionist and told her that I would like a room, I found to my surprise that she was just as rude and unpleasant as the receptionist at the NH Mercader. Perhaps it is a Spanish trait. Who knows? Anyway, I was tired out, so I persevered and - ignoring the glares of the receptionist - I booked myself a room for the night. Thankfully I slept very well, so I am feeling well refreshed and ready to meet the challenges of the day. I have just finished my breakfast and checked out of the hotel. I am currently waiting in the hotel lounge with my luggage, and with a briefcase containing the money. Hopefully when you arrive in Madrid we will be able to find ourselves a hotel where the staff aren't quite so surly and insolent. Even the waitress was giving me black looks at breakfast, when all I did was ask her for a table for two and a cup of coffee. What is it with these people? I'm certainly not staying in this hotel for another night, that's for certain. Anyway, please contact Mr Wigwe and ask him to meet me here in the hotel lounge as soon as possible. Please tell Mr Wigwe to hurry: I feel uncomfortable sitting here with such a large amount of money on me. The sooner I can get it off my hands and safely into Mr Wigwe's custody, the better. Please tell Mr Wigwe that he will be able to recognise me as I am wearing a dark business suit with a white shirt. Please tell him to be as quick as he can. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. What time does your flight leave for Madrid? What time will I see you today, my friend? From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 03:31:50 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Please hold on for me because I will arrive with evening flight. I got across to the diplomatic unit to get information and I was told that they are still trying to bring out the consignment to come and meet with you. They instructed that you should check into a hotel room and send to me by mail immediately the hotel name, hotel room number and hotel phone number because they cannot transact with you in a hotel lounge. Please no matter what the condition is check into a hotel room and forward to me the details as they requested so that we will have a smooth transaction. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I'm not staying another night in this hotel Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 11:50:16 Dear Mr Mah, I am not a happy man. I have been waiting here in this hotel lounge all morning, and Mr Wigwe still hasn't had the courtesy to show up. I have already told you that I am not prepared to stay another night in this hotel; the staff have all been extremely rude to me. Why, I asked the concierge where the toilets were a while ago (using another one of the phrases that my forklift truck driver helpfully wrote out for me) and the man swore at me and looked as if he was about to punch me. I really don't know what their problem is. I had to find the toilets myself in the end. And what on earth does Mr Wigwe mean when he says that he cannot carry out this transaction in the hotel lounge? It's a very nice lounge. It's very spacious, and there have been a number of other business people coming in and out throughout the morning, none of whom seem to have had any problem at all conducting their business here. In fact, I got talking a bit earlier to a very nice Nigerian chap called Mr Adaba. What a coincidence, to bump into another Nigerian here in Spain. He put forward what sounded like a very attractive business proposition. It was a shame that I wasn't able to take him up on his offer. It sounded as if it would have been extremely lucrative. My patience is running out, Mr Mbah. I repeat, I am in the lounge of the Hotel Silken Puerta Castilla on the Paseo de la Castellana. Kindly inform Mr Wigwe to make his way here immediately. It's very rude of him to keep me waiting like this. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. What time does your flight get in? Send me the details at once. We need to make arrangements to meet up tonight. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PLEASE Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 04:27:54 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, The instruction is that you check into a hotel room and stay in there for them to come and meet with you. Please follow the instruction given to you. Do not do things the way you like. These diplomats know why they asked you to check into a room. Understand that unless you do what they say and follow their instructions that they will not meet with you. Please I beg of you to co-operate with them so that I don't regret over this deal. Please do exactly as they instructed. WILLIAMS From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: I am sick and tired of all this messing about Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 12:41:53 Mr Mah, I am sick and tired of all this messing about. I am not, repeat not, wasting my money by booking myself into this damn hotel for another night. The staff are just too insolent. I cannot for the life of me see why Mr Wigwe is insisting on meeting me in a hotel room. There are plenty of quiet corners in the hotel lounge where we can conduct our business in private. I am quickly losing patience. Tell Mr Wigwe to make his way to the hotel to meet up with me AT ONCE, and let's have no more of these ridiculous delays. If he's not here within an hour and a half, I am seriously tempted to get in touch with Mr Adaba and pursue the proposal he put to me this morning. I am off to get some lunch. Mr Wigwe had better be here when I return... or else. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Period Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 04:52:08 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, If you cannot do as you were told then you can go back to Lincolnshire. From: Williams Mbah To: Gilbert Murray Subject: FOLLOW THIS Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 05:07:06 -0700 (PDT) GILBERT, Simply go to the hotel they directed you yesterday and check in if you have come to receive the consignment and this your behaviour is suspicious to me. I feel you have another thing at the back of your mind. Do you have the intention to run away with the consignment before my arrival or what? I have instructed to them not to release it to you until you go back to the hotel that was given to you yesterday and check in and let me have your room number and phone number of the room. I demand that you call me now so that we talk or else no business between us. From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: How dare you address me like that? Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 14:22:38 Mr Mah, How dare you address me like that? We are supposed to be business partners, for heaven's sake, you you are addressing me as if you are addressing a small child. And how dare you accuse me of wanting to steal this consignment? How dare you accuse me of having dishonest intentions. I am as honest a man as you are, Mr Mah. And as for my behaviour being suspicious, if anyone's behaviour here is suspicious, it's yours and Mr Wigwe's. You, for one thing, are supposed to be travelling over here to meet me in Madrid today, but despite me asking you on numerous occasions, you have consistently failed to provide me with details of the flight you are supposed to be taking... and you are showing no sign whatsoever of leaving for the airport. Are you coming to Madrid, or not? As for Mr Wigwe, why the hell won't this tedious little man come and meet me in the hotel lounge? I cannot think of a better place in which to conduct business: it is comfortable, spacious, and discreet. Why is he insisting on meeting me in a hotel room? That makes me suspicious of what his intentions are: what is he planning that he can't do in public? I did actually think that Mr Wigwe had deigned to turn up a little while ago, when a short, sweaty, smelly man in a cheap and dirty suit shambled his way over to me and started gibbering at me incomprehenibly. But he turned out to be nothing but a passing vagrant, so the hotel staff threw him out into the street. Funnily enough, I got chatting to another Nigerian fellow over lunch: a chap called Abacha. As it turns out, he too has a very profitable business proposal which he explained to me over a shared dish of paella. I'll tell you what, Mr Mah, you Nigerians with lucrative business proposals are like buses: you can wait around for ages without seeing one, and then three turn up together. Well, I don't mind telling you that Mr Abacha's business proposal sounds extremely tempting... and as I'm over here in Spain with a briefcase full of cash - and as Mr Wigwe shows no sign whatsoever of wanting to do business with me - I am very tempted to drop this transaction of yours and move forward with Mr Abacha instead. But I have decided to give you and Mr Wigwe one last chance. I have told Mr Abacha to come back two hours from now. If Mr Wigwe still hasn't shown up by then, I will take up Mr Abacha's proposal. It's up to you, Mr Mah. Either you instruct Mr Wigwe to get his lazy arse down here on the double, or you can wave goodbye to me and my money. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Mr Wigwe has twenty minutes left to get here Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 16:01:54 Mr Mah, The two hours is nearly up, and there is still no sign of Mr Wigwe. I can't believe that we're paying this chap $38,000 to deliver this consignment when the lazy tike can't even be bothered to drag his fat arse across town to come and meet me. Well Mr Wigwe only has twenty minutes left. After that, I'm expecting Mr Abacha to return. If Mr Wigwe hasn't shuffled in through the hotel door by then, I've made up my mind to go ahead with Mr Abacha's proposal. Seeing as Mr Wigwe is proving to be an incompetent, unco-operative moron, I think I'd be a fool not to. The clock is ticking, Mr Mah. If Mr Wigwe doesn't hurry up, all our hard work will go up in smoke. And it will be all your fault. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Williams Mbah Subject: Time's up, Mr Mah Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 16:35:22 Mr Mah, Time's up, Mr Mah. I've wasted the best part of a day here in this hotel lounge, waiting for the execrable Mr Wigwe to turn up. I don't appreciate being treated like that. Well, I did warn you what I'd do if Mr Wigwe didn't show up. Mr Abacha has just returned, and I have made up my mind to work with him on his business proposal. Before too long, Mr Mah, I will be an extremely rich man. Even though I was annoyed at first that you had persuaded me to travel all the way to Madrid seemingly on a wild goose chase, I suppose I should thank you really: if it hadn't have been for you, I would never have met up with the charming Mr Abacha... a man who has promised to make my fortune. What a shame that your own business proposal came to nothing. If you ask me, it's partly down to your business associates: your cretinous lawyer, that dubious security company and the egregious Mr Wigwe. If only you'd had the common sense to pick yourself more reliable, decent and honest business associates - people more like myself, for example - I'm sure you wouldn't have come across quite so many problems. Mind you, we can't blame all of this on the people you've chosen to work with. I think we can ascribe a large part of our failure directly to your own appalling organisational skills. I can barely believe that the late Mr El-Sahedi employed you as his personal assistant. I'd be surprised if you were capable of putting your trousers on in the morning without falling over. Oh well, such is life. Think of me counting my millions while you're scrabbling around looking for a new way to get your hands on your late employer's money, Mr Mah. Gilbert Murray PS. I have explained all of this briefly to Mr Abacha. He has asked me to tell you that in his opinion you are a "bingo mumu mahu" and a "mugu". I'm not at all sure what those phrases mean... but then my command of Spanish is almost as bad as your command of English. Copyright 2003-2026 www.gilbertmurray.co.uk. All rights reserved. Copyright notice |
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