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Home - The Chronicles - The Inventor IV The Inventor IVIn which Gilbert the inventor, aided and abetted by his newly-cloned assistant, attempts to help yet another crooked Nigerian banker syphon money out of a dead person's bank account. How will Beaker cope when Gilbert sends him all the way to Nigeria with a briefcase full of money to meet the scammers? All does not go according to plan... according to the scammers' plan, that is. Cast of characters
From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: From Mr Felix Okafor Sent: Wed, 01 Feb 2006 09:39:16 +0000 Dear Sir, I am making this contact with you in good faith. I got your mail address from the Foreign Department in our Ministry of Foreign Affairs Office. I am working with the Standard Trust Bank PLC, Apapa Branch, Lagos. My purpose of writing you is to ask for your assistance to provide a virgin bank account or your account that contains little or no money where we can successfully secure the sum of $10.5 million (ten million five hundred thousand United States dollars). For your information, there is one America business merchant based here in Nigeria and his name is Mr Jeremiah. He was the owner of JC Fisheries Nig Ltd, located at No 125 Industrial Zone, Oshodi Expressway, Isolo, here in Lagos, now have been taken over by government of Nigeria because nobody came for this company after the death of Mr Jeremiah. This man died in a plane crash in 2001 together with his wife here in Nigeria. He was banking with my bank and I am his accounting officer. However, since the death of Mr Jeremiah, I have been trying to contact any of his relative in the city of Chicago, his home country America, through his address with me, to let his people know about his money in our bank but I did not receive any response. I later remembered that Mr Jeremiah came to my country out of shame he was receiving from his country because he was impotent. This secret he revealed to me when he was alive because I pestered him to introduce his children to me. Now I have decided to link anybody to stand as Mr Jeremiah next of kin in order to claim the money he deposited here as fixed solid investment since nobody knew about it. Government of my country will pay it to Federal Reserve purse if I should declare to them about this fund. Note that there is no risk involved in this transaction, as I will give you all information you may need about Mr Jeremiah and his banking relationship with my branch to enable you to stand as his next of kin to receive this money in your account. This transaction will go through normal banking process only that you have to stand firm as the next of kin to Mr Jeremiah just to claim this money. I will direct you on how to apply for the claims of this money. Please if you are interested and capable to carry out this deal with me, reply me or call phone +234-8028442066. I will require the following information from you for procession of the fund in your favour:
Note that we can conclude this transaction within two weeks upon your compliance in applying for the claims to our head office, as I will direct you. I will give you $2.5 million after we conclude this transaction. Be duly informed that I will be resigning from this banking work to come over to your country after the transfer of this fund to your account. I will then engage myself in international business since I will have enough money for any kind of business after this transaction. You need not to be afraid because inasmuch as I would want my reputation protected, I would also want yours to also be protected. I am waiting for your urgent response. Best regards, Mr Felix Okafor Tel: +234-8028442066 Email: felix_okafor2006@yahoo.co.uk From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: Regarding your remarkable email Sent: Wed, 01 Feb 2006 16:18:45 Dear Mr Okafor, I have just read the remarkable email you sent to me regarding the $10.5 million that has been left by your late client, Mr Jeremiah. I cannot think what prompted you to contact me personally on this matter - and I'd be very interested to know who passed my details onto you - but I have to say that I'm extremely glad that you did so. Could I really stand in as your late client's next of kin, Mr Okafor? It's not that I'm doubting your word or anything like that, but it sounds almost too good to be true. I mean, my name is different, I've never been to Chicago... and I'm certainly not impotent. You weren't suggesting that I was impotent, were you? I may not have any offspring of my own, but I can assure you that I'm not. Anyway, as you presumably already know from your contacts in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, I am an inventor, and as it happens I am currently on the lookout for a source of funding for my next venture. With this in mind, this proposition of yours may have come at just the right time for me. If you can provide me with some kind of proof that what you're telling me is for real, I can tell you right now that I would be extremely interested in working with you on this matter. Please get back to me with proof as soon as you can. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Thanks for your reply Sent: Wed, 08 Feb 2006 12:23:53 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I am indeed very happy for your reply. What I am talking about is that there is one America business merchant based here in Nigeria and his name is Mr Jeremiah Murray, this man died in a plane crash in 2001 together with his wife here in Nigeria. He was banking with my bank and I am his accounting officer. As a matter of fact I know you are not in any way related to the deceased but I want to use my position to present you as the next of kin to my late client because both of you share the same whether first or last name (Jeremiah Murray), it does not really matter. All I need is for you to stand as the next of kin to my late client so that the fund which he left behind will be transferred to you. I don't want the fund to go to the bank purse that is my reason of contacting you. For us to get started you will have to send me your data to include:
I personally need your home address because I do not know you too well before now only that I decided to work with you on trust believing God that you will not cheat on me. I will also appreciate if you call me on my cell as I bought a new line for this where you can always reach me. You can call me once you receive this email on +234-8028442066. This transaction requires utmost trust and confidence so please, let us really assure ourselves that is why I will like you to call me once you get this email. After we might have discussed on phone then I shall send you a text of application which you shall send to the bank for them to make a review of the claim as well as open communication with on how the funds will be transferred to you. Please, I would be most grateful if you can be replying to mails on urgent basis so that we can conclude this transaction within the shortest possible time. I assure you once more that this transaction is 100% risk-free. Expecting to hear from you. Best regards, Mr Felix Okafor From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: My personal details Sent: Wed, 08 Feb 2006 17:31:55 Dear Mr Okafor, Thank you for your email and for explaining matters so clearly. If you are absolutely sure that there will be no risk involved in this transaction, then I am happy to move forward as you suggest: I would be a fool to turn down that much money for so little work! You asked for my personal information. Here it is: Name: Gilbert Arnold Murray Age: 54 Occupation: Inventor Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK Telephone number: 01927 58367 You mentioned that you would like to speak to me on the telephone. Nothing would give me greater pleasure, but unfortunately I am having a problem with the telephone line at the moment: we had some extremely strong winds the other day and they brought down the telegraph wires to the village, so my telephone is out of order at the moment. Luckily my satellite internet connection has been unaffected by the bad weather, so I suggest that we continue communicating via email until the telephone company get around to repairing the line. This is all most inconvenient, but hopefully continuing to communicate via email until my telephone is reconnected will not present us with too much of a problem. I must return to my latest experiment. I am currently working for the Iranian government, developing a revolutionary new small-scale nuclear reactor for them. Things are reaching a critical stage right now and I am expecting fission to occur at some time within the hour. I am expecting a visit tomorrow morning from my current project's financial backer, Mr Ahmadinejad, and I am keen to be able to show him that I have made good progress on the project. Do get back to me as soon as you can with further details of what we need to do in order to make some progress. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: I HAVE HIRED AN ATTORNEY TO GUIDE YOU CLAIM THIS FUND Sent: Thu, 09 Feb 2006 12:06:58 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I have received your mail and your personal information, I have also hired the service of an attorney (Barrister Mark Murray) who will assist and guide you legally claim this fund. With your personal informations I have directed him to file in a letter of claim in your favour with the bank. Please note that the bank will contact you to verify this information by sending an application form which you will fill and return it back to the bank. Once again I want to assure you that all modalities to save you and I from any breach of the law has been put into consideration before now. Yours faithfully, Mr Felix Abua From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: FROM MARK MURRAY CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATES Sent: Thu, 09 Feb 2006 12:14:14 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, My name is Mark Murray Esq. I am an attorney by profession, I have been contracted by Mr Felix Okafor to guide and direct you on modalities to follow to claim your inheritance fund valued at $10.5 million presently lodged with Standard Trust Bank Plc. Please find below via email attachment a specimen copy of a demand letter of claim, which I have filled and sent to the bank on your behalf. Please note that Standard Trust Bank Plc will contact you any moment from now. You can reach me on my cell phone for more details: +234-8033863087. For your perusal please download the form on a system that has Microsoft Word. Regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates ![]() From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: Your attorney has been in touch Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 11:10:26 Dear Mr Okafor, Thank you for your email. I must apologise for the delay in getting back to you, but I had a terrible day yesterday. Things did not go well in the workshop at all; unfortunately the reactor I am developing on behalf of the Iranian government developed a small crack during a test run yesterday, and as a result of the pressures involved the reactor suffered a core meltdown. It caused a terrible mess: it took me all day to scrape the plutonium off the walls of the shed. Worse still, the project's financial backer, Mr Ahmadinejad, was on hand to witness the disaster. He was not impressed, I can tell you. However, I am hoping that things will improve as from next week: I am expecting my new assistant to arrive first thing tomorrow morning from the Human Cloning Department of Cleethorpes University. My last assistant left my employment in somewhat unfortunate circumstances last year, and I have been waiting for a whole year now for his replacement. Hopefully, my new assistant, Beaker, will be a chip off the old block. It will certainly help to have another pair of hands around the place. Anyway, back to business. You will be pleased to hear that your attorney, Mr Murray, has been in touch. He has sent me a copy of a letter that he has sent to the bank in which your late client's funds are deposited. I am about to send Mr Murray (what a coincidence that we should have the same name!) a brief acknowledgement before I return to my work. I will keep you informed as and when we make progress. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. You signed your last email "Felix Abua". I thought your name was Felix Okafor. Is Abua your maiden name? Click here to read how Gilbert came to lose his last assistant and how he came to have him cloned. It's a tragic tale of unrequited love, repeatedly soiled bedding... and some very surprised-looking chickens. From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray Subject: Regarding the letter you sent to the bank on my behalf Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 11:14:51 Dear Mr Murray, Thank you for forwarding on that letter that you sent to the bank on my behalf yesterday. Having read through the letter, I am afraid to say that you appear to have made a mistake: in the letter, you referred to Mr Okafor's late client dying in a car crash; however, Mr Okafor has informed me that his late client died in a plane crash. Do you think this will matter? I do hope not. You say that the bank should be in touch shortly. I shall wait to hear from them. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I note that we share the same surname: what a delightful coincidence! I wonder if we could be distant relatives... are you by any chance related to the Murrays of Frottagesham? They are distant cousins of mine, and I am sure that their branch of the family had some connection with Africa a few generations ago. From: Raphael Ebube To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: CLAIM OF US$10.5 MILLION DUE TO US FOR NEXT OF KIN PAYMENT Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 11:40:19 +0000 STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC From The Desk Of Mr Raphael Ebube, the Foreign Operations Manager, Standard Trust Bank Plc, Lagos, Nigeria Attn: Gilbert Arnold Murray, CONDOLENCE/CONGRATULATORY MESSAGE We the members of the Board of Directors, on behalf of the Honourable Chairman and the entire staff of Standard Trust Bank Plc write to acknowledge the receipt of your letter of application sent to this bank on your behalf by one Barrister Mark Murray for the release of your late relative's fund Mr Jeremiah Murray into your bank account. The death of Mr Jeremiah Murray was a terrible blow to this bank because of his outstanding patronage to us getting back to the days when this bank was established. We are now using this medium to express our sympathy to you over this great loss. We have been very worried that no one showed up as the next of kin until now, and we were entertaining serious thoughts of giving this fund out as donation to the Military War College in Kaduna State if by the end of this quarter of this financial year and nobody turns up for the fund. We are now rest assured that we have located the next of kin to Mr Jeremiah Murray and we have taken it upon our good selves to see that the fund $10,500.000.00 (ten million five hundred thousand United States dollars) is remitted into your nominated bank account without delay. As soon as we receive the necessary approvals from the Federal Ministry of Finance and the Federal High Court of Justice to pay out the fund, then your account will be credited with the above stated sum. Accept our congratulations for being a beneficiary to this great fortune, which we know will boost your business. Thank you for your co-operation and anticipated understanding in this matter as we work tirelessly towards ensuring a speedy remittance. Congratulations!!! Mr Raphael Ebube Manager, Foreign Remittance Dept, Standard Trust Bank Plc From: Raphael Ebube To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PLEASE SEND TRANSFER APPROVAL DOCUMENTS Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 11:43:56 +0000 Attn: Gilbert Arnold Murray, Please note that it is very imperative for you to provide us with these below stated items as contained in section 12c of the Fixed Deposit Agreement booklet of Standard Trust Bank Plc as this account was an open beneficiary one. Items listed and needed are:
You are expected to secure an affidavit of claim and a letter of administration at your own cost from the Federal High Court here in Nigeria authorising our bank to remit the fund to you as the next of kin to the deceased. The original copies should be sent to our bank for notification. If you have NOT obtained the affidavit of claim, you are to do so by contacting the Federal Ministry of Justice by mail on (fedminofjusticeng@yahoo.com) for the attention of Justice Kayode Esho. All these aforementioned requirements are needed by the Document Processing Unit of Standard Trust Bank Plc for verifications and approval of your claims. Thank you for your co-operation and anticipated understanding in this matter as we work tirelessly towards ensuring a speedy remittance. Congratulations!!! Mr Raphael Ebube Manager, Foreign Remittance Dept, Standard Trust Bank Plc From: Raphael Ebube To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM FILL AND SEND BACK ASAP Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 11:55:58 +0000 Attn: Gilbert Arnold Murray, I have enclosed with this mail a PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM via attachment, and you are expected to complete this form as directed and returned back as soon as possible to allow the early processing and payment of your inheritance fund. NOTE: You are required to download on a system that has Microsoft Word and returned back by attachment immediately. As soon as we receive the necessary approvals from the Federal Ministry of Finance and the Federal High Court of Justice to pay out the fund, then your account will be credited with the above stated sum. We look forward to hearing from you soonest. Mr Raphael Ebube Manager, Foreign Remittance Dept, Standard Trust Bank Plc ![]() From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Your attorney has been in touch Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 11:58:05 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, Please accept my sympathy for the problems you are facing in your workshop. I am very happy the attorney who happens to be your namesake has been in touch with you, we are working according to schedule. Let us wait to hear from the bank. Please do keep us informed immediately the bank contacts you on this transaction, so that the attorney can direct you on the next line of action. OK? My full name is Felix Abua Okafor. Abua is my maiden name. Warmest regards, Felix Abua Okafor From: Gilbert Murray To: Raphael Ebube Subject: Regarding the late Jeremiah Murray Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 14:23:11 Dear Mr Ebube, Thank you for your emails, and for your kind words regarding the late Jeremiah Murray. Although we were not at all close, his unfortunate death was a grave blow to me. However, one must look on the bright side: at least the vast fortune that he left behind will be going to a good cause: as you know, I am an inventor and I shall be using the money to fund my next project. I have to admit that I found the wealth of information that you provided in your emails a tad confusing: I am a practical, "hands on" type of chap and paperwork is not exactly my forte. I will therefore forward on your emails to my lawyer. I am sure that he will be able to explain everything to me in layman's terms. I will get back to you once my lawyer has explained things to me and we have worked out the best way forward. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray; Cc: Felix Okafor Subject: The bank has been in touch Sent: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 14:32:28 Dear Mr Murray, As you will have seen from the emails I have forwarded on to you, a Mr Ebube from the bank has been in touch with me regarding the late Jeremiah Murray's fortune which I am claiming as my own. To be perfectly honest Mr Murray, paperwork is not my thing, and I found Mr Ebube's emails rather confusing. There seems to be so much that we have to do in order to have this money transferred into my bank account. Could I ask you to cast your legal eyes over the emails that Mr Ebube sent me earlier today and to summarise their contents for me? If you can provide me with a simple list of what we need to do, I think that I will understand this whole thing a lot better. I will be rather busy this weekend - on top of my current experiment, I am expecting my new assistant, Beaker, to arrive first thing tomorrow morning and I shall be spending the weekend showing him around the place and helping him to settle in - but if you could get back to me at some point over the weekend I will give this matter my full attention first thing on Monday morning. Thank you in advance for your help, and may I wish you a pleasant weekend. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: I HAVE TWO OF THE DOCUMENTS YOU WILL APPLY FOR THE REMAINING TWO DOCUMENTS Sent: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 09:30:22 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I have received all the mails forwarded to me which was sent to you from the bank, I am very happy the bank have contacted you and what is required from us now is to send the relevant papers that authorises you to claim this fund. For the documents needed by the bank:
I have 3 and 4. For the remaining 1 LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION and 2 AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM you the next of kin and beneficiary to the inheritance fund will have to apply through the Federal Ministry of Justice for the 1 and 2. So right now to facilitate everything I will direct the attorney to send you a specimen text of application which you will fill in your name, address, telephone, age, occupation and send to the Federal Ministry of Justice (PROBATE REGISTRY) for a SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM and a LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION. Please note that the two documents will attract some charges. You will be required to send to the ministry the document fees so make arrangement down for the document fees although I don't know how much the two documents will cost. However go ahead and email the Probate Registry via their email address - fedminofjusticeng@yahoo.com - so that they can procure the two documents for us. Please fill the text of application which the attorney will send you and send to the Federal Ministry of Justice via their email address - fedminofjusticeng@yahoo.com - immediately you secure the affidavit of claim and a letter of administration I will send you the deposit certificate and the death certificate so that you can send all together with your ID for identification to the bank. Regards, Felix Abua Okafor From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: APPLICATION FOR AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM AND LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION Sent: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 09:39:45 +0000 (GMT) Attn: Gilbert Murray, Please find below a specimen copy of an application letter which you will fill and send to the Federal Ministry of Justice, so that the agency can secure a letter of administration and a sworn affidavit of claim for the release of your inheritance. You will have to fill in your data to include:
And send this application via the email address of the Probate Registry: fedminofjusticeng@yahoo.com. Regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates
From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray Subject: A couple of queries regarding the application letter Sent: Mon, 13 Feb 2006 09:53:19 Dear Mr Murray, Thank you for sending me the text of the application letter that you say I need to send to Justice Esho at the Probate Registry. Before I send the letter, I have a couple of queries. Firstly, should I give my business address or my home address on the letter? Secondly, at the bottom of the letter of application it says "for the family". I have no family. Should I therefore delete these words from the application letter? I would appreciate it if you could get back to me with answers to my queries as soon as possible so that I can send the application letter to the Probate Registry without delay. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: Regarding the documents I need to obtain Sent: Mon, 13 Feb 2006 09:55:21 Dear Mr Okafor, Thank you for your email and for explaining things to me so well. Everything is now a lot clearer in my head. You will be pleased to hear that your attorney Mr Murray has sent me the text of an application letter that he tells me I need to send to the Probate Registry (whatever that is). I have just sent Mr Murray an email with a few queries regarding the text of the letter. As soon as I receive a response from him, I will send the application letter off to the Probate Registry. My new assistant, Beaker, arrived on Saturday morning, so much of the weekend was taken up with showing him around the place and making him feel at home. It really is remarkable how similar he is to my last assistant - of course, genetically speaking he's absolutely identical - and it feels good to have his familiar face around the place once more. Astonishingly enough, not only does he look identical to my last assistant, he even shares some of his personal habits. For example, I couldn't help but notice during supper last night how Beaker quite unselfconsciously blew his nose into the tablecloth, just like his predecessor used to do. Unfortunately, he also seems to have inherited my last assistant's body odour problem. I will have to see what I can do about that. Anyway, I must get back to my work. Most of today will be taken up with showing Mr Ahmadinejad the entire nuclear fission process, from start to finish: he is keen to see at first hand that the revisions I made to the reactor after last week's little accident mean that it is able to cope with the massive pressures involved without breaking up again. Fingers crossed that all goes well. Now that I have Beaker to help me in the workshop, I am hoping that we will be able to get through the day without any major problems. It is most important that we make a good impression on Mr Ahmadinejad today: if we don't, it is possible that the Iranian government will look elsewhere for an alternative design for a mini-reactor. I will get back to you as soon as I have any news. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: A couple of queries regarding the application letter Sent: Mon, 13 Feb 2006 14:11:32 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, In line with your questions as to the address you should use, to avoid complications please use this initial address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK. You will have to use it as it has been used to file in for your claim with Standard Trust Bank Plc, and remember all relevant informations/documents will be sent to you via the same address. Secondly, at the bottom of the letter of application which says "for the family". You will have to put your full names: Gilbert Arnold Murray. Without further delay go ahead and contact the Probate Registry via email (fedminofjusticeng@yahoo.com) so that they can procure these two documents for the release of your fund to you this week. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray Subject: I will contact the Probate Registry immediately Sent: Mon, 13 Feb 2006 14:59:16 Dear Mr Murray, Thank you for your email and for clarifying which address I should quote when I contact the Probate Registry. I have to say, the advice that you gave me regarding the section of the application letter that stated "for the family" was rather unclear. I asked you - bearing in mind that I do not have a family of my own - whether or not I should delete these words from the letter that I send to the Probate Registry, but you did not give me a precise answer. I would hate to give the impression that I have a family when I do not: after all, if the Probate Registry were to find out that I had given them misleading information, that could cause us problems, and I want to avoid problems at all costs. I shall therefore make it clear in my application letter that I do not have a family. I think that is for the best. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. You did not tell me whether or not you were related to the Murrays of Frottagesham. It would be a very strange coincidence if we turned out to be related. From: Gilbert Murray To: Justice Kayode Esho; Cc: Mark Murray Subject: ATTN: JUSTICE KAYODE ESHO Sent: Mon, 13 Feb 2006 15:03:42 ATTN: JUSTICE KAYODE ESHO APPLICATION FOR A LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION AND AN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM I Gilbert Arnold Murray ADDRESS Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK AGE 54 OCCUPATION Inventor HEREBY HUMBLY APPLY FOR PROCUREMENT OF AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM AND LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION. THIS DOCUMENT IS NEEDED BY STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC FOR AUTHENTICATION OF CLAIM OF MY LATE RELATIVE'S JEREMIAH MURRAY INHERITANCE VALUED AT $10.5 MILLION. I WILL BE GRATEFUL IF THIS REQUEST IS GRANTED. YOURS FAITHFULLY, Gilbert Arnold Murray PLEASE NOTE THAT I DO NOT HAVE A FAMILY. From: Justice Kayode Esho To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: APPLICATION FOR A LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION AND AN AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM Sent: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 02:17:34 -0800 (PST) Federal Ministry of Justice, Attn: Gilbert A Murray, This is to confirm receipt of your mail to our agency. In line with your application for procurement of a sworn affidavit of claim and a letter of administration you will be required to arrive in Nigeria to swear an affidavit in the Federal High Court, after which the original copies should be sent to STANDARD TRUST BANK Plc for notification. Be informed that the affidavit of claim and the letter of administration will cost you a total of $1,900 (one thousand nine hundred United States dollars only). Be advised that if it will not be possible for you to travel down for the swearing of the affidavit, we can assist you further through our legal department. In that case, you are advised to make the affidavit payment of $1,900 (one thousand nine hundred United States dollars only) to our legal department to enable them assist you in normalising of the affidavit in the court for the prompt release of the fund to your account. The payment should be made by MoneyGram money transfer or Western Union money transfer to the Exchequer Officer (PETER OKOCHA) of this ministry as follows:
You are expected to make the payment and get back to us immediately with the MoneyGram or Western Union payment information to enable the legal department to conclude your matter with this ministry for the prompt release of your fund. Your prompt response is expected. Yours faithfully, Justice Kayode Esho NB. How to send money through Western Union:
Assuring you of our best services at all times. From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION Sent: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 10:49:55 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I am glad you now understand everything, and I assume your namesake Barrister Mark Murray has answered your queries? Please without waste of much time contact the Probate Registry for the affidavit of claim and letter of administration. With the pace we are moving now you will receive this fund before or by the weekend. Please remember the two documents will attract some charges, you will deduct this expense first immediately you receive this fund in your account before we commence sharing. Thank you very much for your input and efforts towards successful actualisation of this transaction. My regards to your new assistant Beaker. Please notify me immediately you secure the two documents so that I send you the ones with me. Regards, Felix Abua Okafor NB. Remember to send your ID as means of identification to the bank. Your ID will be attached to your payment file. From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I will contact the Probate Registry immediately Sent: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 11:38:56 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, Regarding the section of the application letter that stated "for the family". That section does not refer to you as an individual per se. That section refers or implies that you who is the next of kin/beneficiary to the inheritance fund is representing the late Jeremiah Murray's family. Secondly in line with your last question I am not related to the Murrays of Frottagesham. It's just a coincidence we happen to be namesakes. Finally I will advise you mail the Federal Ministry as soon as possible for the relative documents as that is the only thing delaying the release of your inheritance. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: The man from the Probate Registry wants me to travel to Nigeria Sent: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 16:14:20 Dear Mr Okafor, Thank you for your email. I must apologise for the slight delay in getting back to you, but things have been hectic here for the past couple of days and I have not been able to devote as much time as I would have liked to this business. Unfortunately my new assistant Beaker has been playing up. In fact, he has been more of a hindrance than a help: despite my warnings, he wouldn't stop fiddling with the dials and buttons on the reactor's control panel. I tried to impress upon him that fooling around like that is never a good idea when you are dealing with a nuclear reactor, but it didn't make a jot of difference. The final straw came midway through this morning, when Beaker pressed the big red Self-Destruct button "just to see what would happen". I was back in the cottage making a pot of tea at the time, but as soon as I heard the warning sirens I dropped everything and raced back over to the workshop. Fortunately my quick reactions meant that I was just able to cancel the self-destruct order before the reactor core was breached. Mr Ahmadinejad was not impressed, I can tell you. I was extremely disappointed by Beaker's behaviour, and I have sent him up to his room with no tea as a punishment. Hopefully missing his evening meal will teach him a lesson. I think for the moment I will have to keep him away from anything potentially dangerous in the workshop. In the meantime, I will give him the relatively easy task of disposing of the spent fuel rods from the reactor once it has cooled down each night. He should be able to carry out that task without anything going wrong. Anyway, enough of my wittering. Back to business. I have heard back from Mr Esho at the Probate Registry. He tells me that I will have to travel to Nigeria to swear an affidavit in the Federal High Court. I have to say, Mr Okafor, given my current workload, I am not sure that I will be able to spare the time to travel to Nigeria to do this. If I do not meet my deadlines, the Iranian government might withhold payment for work I have carried out. Do you think there is any way we will be able to complete this business without me having to travel over to Nigeria? Please consider this and get back to me as soon as you can. If there is no way around this, perhaps I could send Beaker to Nigeria on my behalf? He's not being much use around here at the moment, and given the fact that I am at a crucial stage in my current project, it would be good to get the man out from under my feet for a few days. What do you think? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Justice Kayode Esho Subject: Regarding your email Sent: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 17:05:18 Dear Mr Esho, Thank you for your email. Unfortunately I am extremely busy at the moment, so I doubt that I will have the time to travel all the way to Nigeria myself in order to swear the affidavit in the Federal High Court. However, I am currently looking into the possibility of sending my assistant, Beaker, to Nigeria to swear the affidavit on my behalf. I will get back to you as soon as I have decided on the best course of action. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray Subject: The Probate Registry's requirements Sent: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 17:10:28 Dear Mr Murray, I am pleased to report that I heard back from Mr Esho at the Probate Registry earlier today. He tells me that I need to travel down to Nigeria in order to swear an affidavit in the High Court. However, due to the pressure of work at the moment I do not think that I will be able to spare the time to do this. All is not lost though; I am considering sending my assistant, Beaker, to Nigeria to swear the affidavit on my behalf. To be perfectly honest with you he is getting under my feet a little here and it will be good to get him out of the way for a few days to give me a chance to complete the current phase of my latest project in peace. I will instruct Beaker to contact you directly and make all the necessary arrangements. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I was disappointed to hear that you are not related to the Murrays of Frottagesham. Perhaps your branch of the family is related to the Murrays of Felchingfield instead? I have heard that they are an extremely old branch of the Murray clan. Are you aware of any link there? From: Beaker To: Mark Murray Subject: MESSAGE FROM BEAKER Sent: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 17:20:28 Hello Mr Murray, My name is Billy Beaker but everybody just calls me Beaker. You can call me Beaker too if you like. I work for Mr Murray. Not you, the other Mr Murray. I am his assistant. Mr Murray has told me that he has a very important job for me to do and that is to go to Nigeria to do some swearing in a court or something like that. He was in a hurry so he did not give me all the details but he asked me to get in touch with you and ask you about it and he told me that you would tell me everything that I need to know about why I need to come to Nigeria and who I will have to swear at when I get there. So Mr Murray when do you want me to come to Nigeria and what do you want me to do when I get there? Please tell me. I am looking forward to coming to Nigeria because I have never been to Nigeria or Africa or anywhere much really. Mr Murray tells me that his last assistant had a girlfriend in Nigeria but that things did not turn out very well for him and that is sad. I do not have a girlfriend at all and that makes me even sadder especially because it is valentines day and I did not get a card. Do you have a girlfriend Mr Murray? I hope you do and I hope that she sent you a card on valentines day and that you have bought her some roses. I have to go now because it is time for me to clear the fuel rods out of the reactor that Mr Murray is working on. He has told me to clean the fuel out of the reactor at the end of every day and to get rid of it and he says that is a very important job. I look forward to getting an email back from you so that I can make plans to come to Nigeria. Thanking you, Beaker From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: The man from the Probate Registry wants me to travel to Nigeria Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 08:17:42 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I have received your mail and am happy the Probate have reached you. I will direct the attorney to enquire from the Probate Registry if there is any other alternative way to avoid you coming down to swear the affidavit. I will get back to you soon. Regards, Felix Abua Okafor From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: I have decided to send Beaker to Nigeria Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 09:30:49 Dear Mr Okafor, Thank you for your email. Please do not worry about my having to travel to Nigeria to swear an affidavit. Having given the matter some considerable thought, I have decided that I will definitely send Beaker to Nigeria on my behalf. He seems to be finding it difficult to settle in here, and as well as getting him out of my hair for a few days, I think the trip might do him some good. I instructed Beaker yesterday to contact your attorney, Mr Murray, in order to make whatever arrangements are necessary. As far as I am aware, Beaker did so last night. I don't know if Mr Murray has responded to Beaker as yet. I have sent Beaker into the village this morning to pick up some provisions. As soon as he returns I will ask him to check his email and see if Mr Murray has got back to him. I must go: I have an extremely busy day ahead of me today. Mr Ahmadinejad is insisting that we run the reactor at full capacity in order to check its potential power output. Apparently he has been instructed to prepare a comprehensive report on my progress during his visit, so that he can update his superiors in the Iranian government on how things are going when he returns to Tehran next week. I will have to try and keep Beaker out of the way as much as possible today: the last thing I want is a repeat of yesterday's fiasco. The man is nothing but a liability sometimes. Hopefully giving him some responsibility in this business transaction of ours will help him to get his feet planted firmly on the ground. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Justice Kayode Esho To: Gilbert Murray Subject: ALTERNATIVELY YOU CAN HIRE AN ATTORNEY TO ASSIST YOU Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 05:00:09 -0800 (PST) Federal Ministry of Justice, Attn: Gilbert A Murray, Be advised that if it will not be possible for you to travel down for the swearing of the affidavit, you can hire the service of an attorney accompanied with a letter of authorisation, or we can assist you further through our legal department at your own cost. Furthermore, you are advised to make the affidavit payment of $1,900 (one thousand nine hundred United States dollars only) to our legal department to enable them to assist you in normalising of the affidavit in the court for the prompt release of the fund to your account. The payment should be made by MoneyGram money transfer or Western Union money transfer to the Exchequer Officer (PETER OKOCHA) of this ministry as follows:
Make the payment and get back to us immediately with the MoneyGram or Western Union payment information to enable the legal department to conclude your matter with this ministry for the prompt release of your fund. Your prompt response is expected. Yours faithfully, Justice Kayode Esho From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: The Probate Registry's requirements Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 13:19:59 +0000 (GMT) Attn: Gilbert Murray, In view of the prevailing circumstance I have enquired from the Probate Registry as to alternative options to avoid you or your assistant Beaker coming down to Nigeria. I was informed by the Probate that to save you your time and the footwork that you should send the document fees of $1,900 to the agency in the name of the accountant as directed together with a letter of authorisation after which I will be allowed to stand on your behalf. I have included via email attachment a specimen copy of letter of authorisation. You will have to fill in the spaces and send a copy back to me, a copy of the authorisation letter will also be sent to the Probate Registry. Please send the filled authorisation letter and the document charges of $1,900 to the Probate Registry as directed so that I can move to the registry to normalise the affidavit on your behalf. Please treat as very urgent. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates ![]() From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 13:33:31 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I was informed by the attorney that there is an alternative considering the time restraint. Have you read from the attorney? If you have not please go ahead and contact him immediately. He will send you a specimen copy of an authorisation letter which you will endorse and send to the agency. I want us to conclude this transaction this week. Regards, Felix Abua Okafor From: Mark Murray To: Beaker Subject: Re: MESSAGE FROM BEAKER Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 13:39:42 +0000 (GMT) Attn: Billy Beaker, Acknowledging your mail. I have reached your boss on the alternative option to save you or your boss the cost, time and footwork of travelling down. Thanks for your concern. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates From: Beaker To: Mark Murray Subject: ANOTHER MESSAGE FROM BEAKER Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 14:37:17 Hello Mr Murray, It is me Beaker again. I read the email that you sent to me when I got back from the village where Mr Murray, not you, the other Mr Murray, sent me this morning to buy some milk and some bread and some butter and some meat and some vegetables. It was the first time I have been shopping in the village and I got to meet lots of nice people in the shops although some people gave me some funny looks but that seems to happen to me wherever I go so I don't mind too much now that I have got used to it. Anyway the basket on my bicycle was very full when I rode back from the village and when I got back I made Mr Murray and the man with the beard whose name I cannot spell some sandwiches for lunch and I took them into the workshop and when I did Mr Murray told me to check my emails and see if you had sent me an email and so I did and that is when I read the email that you sent me. I was expecting you to send me details of what I will need to do when I come to Nigeria and so I was surprised to see that you had not sent me those details and I didn't know what you meant when you talked about the alternative option so I printed off your email and took it to show Mr Murray in the workshop. Mr Murray was very busy when I got there and he was angry when I knocked on the door of the workshop and he would not listen to me and he shouted at me and he told me to go away and he told me to send you another email and tell you that he has definitely decided to send me to Nigeria to swear in the court for him and to tell you that you should make arrangements with me right away because there is no time to waste. Mr Murray also told me to tell you that he would be busy all day and that he probably will not get the chance to check his emails until late tonight or early tomorrow and that you should go ahead and make arrangements with me anyway and that he will get back to you as soon as he can. I was very sorry that Mr Murray got angry like that. Mr Murray gets angry very quickly especially when I am around but I think he is a good man really. I want to show Mr Murray that I can be a good assistant and I want to prove when I travel to Nigeria that he can trust me with important jobs like he has trusted me with cleaning the reactor and disposing of the old fuel rods each night. I am determined to do that job very well. Please send me another email as soon as you can with details of when you want me to come to Nigeria and who you need me to swear at when I get there. Thanking you, Beaker From: Gilbert Murray To: Justice Kayode Esho Subject: My assistant will be travelling to Nigeria Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 17:26:09 Dear Mr Esho, Thank you for your email. I am pleased to be able to tell you that although I will be unable to travel to Nigeria in person, my assistant, Beaker, will be travelling to Nigeria to sort things out on my behalf. Beaker is currently making arrangements for his trip and I shall be in touch with you when I have more concrete information regarding the date of his arrival etc. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray; Cc: Felix Okafor Subject: Please make all necessary arrangments with Beaker Sent: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 17:28:10 Dear Mr Murray, I am taking a short break from a long day working on my current project and I have taken the opportunity to check my emails. Thank you for sending me the letter of authorisation. However, you will be pleased to hear that this will not be necessary, as I have made up my mind to send Beaker to Nigeria to sort things out on my behalf. I will be extremely busy for the next few days, so I would appreciate it if you could make all the necessary arrangements with Beaker. He has my full authority to act on my behalf. I look forward to hearing that some progress has been made in the very near future. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray; Cc: Felix Okafor Subject: What is the reason for this delay? Sent: Thu, 16 Feb 2006 12:10:52 Mr Murray, I am just taking a brief break from today's work. I am extremely disappointed to have heard from Beaker that you have not yet been in touch with him to make arrangements for his forthcoming trip to Nigeria. Do you not realise the importance of this business, Mr Murray? Time, as well as being money, is not on our side, and we have none of it to waste. Kindly start doing the job you are paid for and make arrangements with Beaker at once. If I do not hear that progress has been made by the end of the day I will have no alternative but to start looking around for another lawyer. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: The lawyer is not being co-operative Sent: Thu, 16 Feb 2006 16:45:15 Dear Mr Okafor, You may not be aware of this yourself, but that attorney you put me in touch with - Mr Murray - is not being co-operative. I have told him on a number of occasions to liase with Beaker to make arrangements for Beaker to travel to Nigeria, as requested by Mr Esho at the Probate Registry, but Mr Murray has so far completely failed to do so. On top of this, he has not even deigned to reply to my last few emails. I can understand that as a lawyer he must be a busy man, but does he not understand the importance of this transaction? If he carries on delaying things in this manner, how on earth are we ever going to get this transaction concluded? Is there anything you can do to prompt the lawyer to take action, Mr Okafor? I have the $1,900 all ready for Beaker to take down to Nigeria with him, but unless Mr Murray gets in touch with him and makes arrangements, this simply isn't going to happen. I am most disappointed in Mr Murray's performance in this matter so far. Please get back to me with your thoughts. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: The lawyer is not being co-operative Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 08:29:47 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I tried all through to reach the attorney the day before yesterday and yesterday but he was not on site, I was told by his secretary that he went to court. However I will call the attorney right away so that he will reach you immediately. Regards, Felix Abua Okafor From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: AM SORRY FOR MY LATE REPLY (Please this is my suggestion) Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 08:38:39 +0000 (GMT) Attn: Gilbert Murray, Am sorry for my late reply to your last mail, I have been shuttling the court room all through the day, I have a court session. Sequel to your last mail to my chambers, I assume you have made up your mind for Beaker to come down to swear to an affidavit on your behalf, I hope you know that even if Beaker comes down he will still require the service of an attorney as he is not the bonafide next of kin and authorised signatory. It would have been better for you who is the rightful beneficiary to come down. Secondly if you insist Beaker should come down it will cost you more money to pay his air ticket fee to and from, lodging and accommodation, and some other miscellaneous expenses he might incur down here. And I don't think he has his visa at hand, he will have to apply for a visa to Nigeria and wait for it to be granted, which will take some time. From all indication the time allowed for you the next of kin to take possession of this inheritance will soon elapse. I would have suggested you send the document fees of $1,900 and fill the authorisation as directed by the Probate. This will go a long way to save our precious time and cost. On the other hand if you still insist that he must come down then let him go ahead and conclude arrangements and confirm to us his travel itinerary, his date of departure and arrival. Thanks. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates From: Mark Murray To: Beaker Subject: FROM BARRISTER MARK MURRAY Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 08:51:02 +0000 (GMT) Attn: Billy Beaker, Sorry for my late reply, I have a court session, I have reached your boss, it is now left for him to decide if he still insist you are to come down or not, to save you the footwork and him the cost and considering the time frame we have I have suggested we use the alternative option of the Probate Registry. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray; Cc: Felix Okafor Subject: I will instruct Beaker to look into obtaining a visa Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 10:52:21 Dear Mr Murray, Thank you for your email. I accept your apology for the delay in responding to me: I can quite appreciate that as a lawyer you must be a very busy man. However, having said that, I would appreciate it if you could do your best to respond to my emails in a more timely manner from now on. Regarding the advice that you gave me in your last email, I appreciate that sending Beaker to Nigeria on my behalf will be more expensive than authorising you to act on my behalf. However, although I am sure that you would do a sterling job on my behalf, for my own peace of mind I would prefer to have my own "man on the ground", as it were. Also, when you take into account the large amount of money that I am claiming from the late Mr Murray, the costs involved in sending Beaker to Nigeria are negligible in comparison. I have to say that I was unaware that Beaker would require a visa to enter Nigeria - thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will instruct Beaker to look into obtaining a visa immediately. I will also instruct Beaker to look into flights to Nigeria. Given that it may take a few days for him to obtain a visa, I would suggest that we plan for Beaker to fly over to Nigeria either late next week or early the week after. In order that Beaker can plan his itinerary and make adequate plans, I will need the following information from you:
I would appreciate it if you could get back to me as soon as possible with answers to the above questions. I will instruct Beaker to look into obtaining a visa right away. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Raphael Ebube To: Gilbert Murray Subject: REMINDER PLEASE SEND APPROVAL DOCUMENTS Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 14:01:53 +0000 Attn: Gilbert Arnold Murray, I wish to use this medium to notify you that you have only three official banking days left to send the relevant transfer approval documents to the Document Processing Unit of Standard Trust Bank Plc for claim your long overdue inheritance with Standard Trust Bank Plc. I advise you on your own interest to expedite actions towards sending the authentication documents and claiming your inheritance as this bank shall not be held liable for any losses you might suffer in case you did not meet up with its deadline date of Tuesday 21st February 2006. Items listed and needed are:
These aforementioned requirements are needed by the Document Processing Unit of Standard Trust Bank Plc for verifications and approval of your claims. Thank you for your co-operation and anticipated understanding in this matter as we work tirelessly towards ensuring a speedy remittance. Mr Raphael Ebube Manager, Foreign Remittance Dept, Standard Trust Bank Plc From: Gilbert Murray To: Raphael Ebube Subject: Everything is being taken care of Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 14:36:16 Dear Mr Ebube, I have just read the email you sent me earlier today. Please allow me to reassure you that I have not forgotten about the documents that you need from me. Everything is being taken care of and I am confident that I will have all of the documents you need in the very near future. I am in contact with a Mr Esho at the Probate Registry and I am in the middle of making arrangements for my assistant, Beaker, to travel down to Nigeria to obtain the documents in person. However, please note that there is no way that I will be able to procure all of the documents you need by next Tuesday. I estimate that the documents will be available within the next two weeks. To be frank, Mr Ebube, I find the fact that you have suddenly decided to impose a three day deadline on me extremely unhelpful, and quite baffling. Given the fact that the late Mr Murray's funds have been lying in your bank for the past five years or so, I cannot for the life of me see why there is such an urgent need for me to claim the money within the next three days. Surely waiting another week or ten days cannot do any harm? In any case, we will have no choice but to wait a little bit longer: as I have said, there is simply no way I will be able to obtain the required documents in three days. My assistant is currently arranging to obtain a visa to enable him to visit Nigeria. I am confident that we will be able to conclude this business within the next week to ten days. Until then, please sit back and wait. I will keep you informed of progress. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I will instruct Beaker to look into obtaining a visa Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 14:44:52 +0000 (GMT) I have directed your mail and questions to the attorney. He will reach you soon. From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I will instruct Beaker to look into obtaining a visa Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 14:59:28 +0000 (GMT) Attn: Gilbert Murray, Thanks for accepting my apology. I have also received your mail. Sequel to your queries:
I will wait for Beaker to send me his travel itinerary. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray Subject: Thank you for answering my questions so comprehensively Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 15:25:24 Dear Mr Murray, Thank you for answering my questions so comprehensively. You will be pleased to hear that the wheels are in motion at this end: I gather that Beaker has already been in touch with a Dr Kolade at the Nigerian High Commission in London via email regarding applying for a visa. Beaker tells me that he has downloaded a visa application form from the internet and that he is going to post it this afternoon. According to Dr Kolade, his business visa should be available for collection at the High Commission on Tuesday of next week. I have instructed Beaker to travel down to London on Tuesday so that he can collect his visa as soon as possible. He will then be free to fly down to visit you and to do whatever is required to obtain the necessary documents. I will instruct Beaker to liase directly with you regarding any specific queries he has and to send you a copy of his travel itinerary as soon as it is arranged. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: Beaker should have a visa by Tuesday next week Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 15:31:03 Dear Mr Okafor, You will be pleased to hear that matters are progressing nicely. Beaker is filling in a visa application form as we speak and is making arrangements to travel down to London on Tuesday to collect his visa from the Nigerian High Commission. For my part, I have realised that Beaker will need a power of attorney in order to be able to act on my behalf. I will therefore be visiting my own lawyer, Welsby, on Monday morning to obtain such a document. Talking of lawyers, I was wondering whether it might be worth getting my own lawyer involved in this business? Your attorney Mr Murray seems to be rather a busy man, and I did think that if we got Welsby involved, he might be able to take some of the pressure off Mr Murray. Welsby's a fine lawyer, and very well-respected in Lincolnshire legal circles. He also charges extremely reasonable fees. Welsby's got the sharpest legal brain I've ever come across. He proved invaluable last year after an unfortunate incident involving a radical new cable-free, electron magnet-powered passenger lift I had designed, an absent-minded omission on my part to provide it with any safety backup systems during the design stage, and a power cut in the fifty storey skyscraper in which it was installed. Welsby worked wonders in the ensuing court case. Not only did he manage to get all charges dropped, he also persuaded the judge to award me costs against the bereaved families. I can't recommend Welsby highly enough. Let me know if you'd like me to contact him, my dear fellow. It might be useful to have him on board. I will be extremely busy this weekend, working with Mr Ahmadinejad in the workshop. I have therefore instructed Beaker to liase directly with Mr Murray regarding his visit to Nigeria. I am glad to report that Beaker seems to be settling down at last. He is certainly making a fine job of cleaning out the reactor and disposing of the spent fuel rods at the end of each day. If I can only get him to do something about the body odour problem, things will be looking up all round. Do have a pleasant weekend. I will be back in touch next week. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Beaker To: Mark Murray Subject: I HAVE JUST APPLIED FOR MY VISA Sent: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 16:09:30 Hello Mr Murray, It is me Beaker again. Mr Murray, not you, the other Mr Murray, told me that I would need something called a visa before I could fly to Nigeria so I looked it up on the internet and I found out that he was right and I printed off a form to apply for a visa and I filled it in and I have just got back from the village where I posted it to the Nigerian High Commission in London. I emailed someone called Dr Kolade and he told me that if I posted my application to him today I would be able to pick up my visa on Tuesday and so that is what I am going to do because Mr Murray told me that it is very important that we do things quickly. Mr Murray tells me that you have said that you will meet me at the airport when I fly to Nigeria and that is very kind of you so thank you very much. I have not been abroad before in fact I have not been on a plane before so this trip will be very exciting for me and I am looking forward to it a lot. Mr Murray tells me that I will need to be in Nigeria for three days. He told me to ask you if you knew any good hotels that I could stay at in Nigeria so could you recommend any to me? Mr Murray told me to make sure that I stayed in a good hotel that has three or four stars and not in some flea ridden doss house as he put it although I do not know what a doss house is. I will be looking on the internet this weekend at flights to Nigeria and Mr Murray has said that when I find a good flight I am to book it and put the flight on his credit card and to tell you when I will be arriving in Nigeria so that you can come and pick me up at the airport. There is one more thing Mr Murray. Can you tell me what the weather is like in Nigeria at the moment because it is very cold here but Mr Murray told me that it might be a lot hotter in Nigeria because it is in Africa and he told me to make sure that I bring the right clothes with me because he said that the way I sweat things are bad enough anyway without me making them worse by walking around in the heat in my thick winter thermals. Thanking you, Beaker PS. Do you know any hotels that have three or four stars that have satellite television in the bedrooms because I do not want to miss Chucklevision when I come over to Nigeria? From: Beaker To: Mark Murray Subject: I HAVE BOOKED A FLIGHT TO NIGERIA Sent: Mon, 20 Feb 2006 09:27:51 Hello Mr Murray, It is me Beaker again. I have done what Mr Murray, not you, the other Mr Murray, asked me to do and I have booked myself a flight to Nigeria for later this week. Mr Murray told me to email you and tell you when I will be arriving so that you know when to come and meet me at the airport. Because I am going to London tomorrow to pick up my Nigerian visa from Dr Kolade I am going to fly to Nigeria tomorrow night from Heathrow airport which is far away from here but very near London. I am flying with British Airways and I am leaving Heathrow at 21:30 tomorrow night and my flight arrives at Lagos airport early on Wednesday morning at 04:55 and the flight number is BA0137. I have booked myself a flight back to London from Lagos as well and that is with British Airways too and that leaves Lagos at 08:15 on Saturday and it gets into Heathrow at 13:35 on Saturday which is good because it means that I should be able to get back to Gypping in the Marsh in time for my tea and that flight number is BA0136. You have not replied to my last email yet when I asked you if you knew any good hotels that I can stay in. Please send me a reply and suggest any hotels that you think I might like. I suppose I can book myself into a hotel when I get to Nigeria. Maybe when you pick me up from the airport on Wednesday morning you could drive me to a hotel and help me to check in because Nigeria is a foreign country and I have never been abroad before and I might have problems because I do not speak any foreign languages. What language do people speak in Nigeria? If you let me know I will buy a phrasebook at the airport and try to learn a few words like please and thank you and where is the toilet. Mr Murray has also asked me to ask you if there is anything else I should bring when I come to Nigeria. Is there? Thanking you, Beaker From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor Subject: Beaker has booked his flight Sent: Mon, 20 Feb 2006 09:33:16 Dear Mr Okafor, I trust that you had a pleasant weekend. I thought I would send you a quick email before I start work in the workshop this morning with Mr Ahmadinejad to inform you that Beaker has booked his flight to Nigeria. I have instructed him to email your attorney, Mr Murray, with the details so that he will be able to meet Beaker at the airport. As I mentioned last week, I will be visiting my own lawyer, Welsby, this morning to arrange a power of attorney which will enable Beaker to act on my behalf while he is in Nigeria. I note to my dismay that you have not yet responded to the email that I sent to you on Friday, in which I asked you if you thought it would be worth our while getting Welsby involved in this business transaction of ours. Please let me know your thoughts before lunchtime so that I can approach Welsby on the matter if you think it appropriate. I have a good feeling about this week, my dear fellow. Now that Beaker has arranged his flights, I see no reason why that $10.5 million should not be safely in my bank account by the end of the week. We will be toasting each other with champagne before too long, you mark my words. Do get back to me as soon as you can and let me know what you think about getting Welsby involved. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray Subject: Could I ask a favour of you? Sent: Mon, 20 Feb 2006 09:45:25 Dear Mr Murray, I do hope that you had a pleasant weekend. Beaker has just informed me that he has emailed you with details of the flight he has booked to Nigeria. I trust that Beaker has given you all of the details that you require. Now that Beaker's travelling plans have been made, it struck me that I should ask a small favour of you. Could I ask you to look after Beaker while he is in Nigeria? I'm not expecting you to hold his hand all the time, but I would appreciate it if you could do your best to ensure that he doesn't get into any trouble. Beaker is a bit of a simple soul at heart, you see, and is rather too easily inclined towards taking people at their word. I am rather concerned that any unscrupulous people he comes across may try to take advantage of him as a result of this. If you could see your way towards ensuring that he is alright during his stay, I would be extremely grateful. Incidentally, even though my telephone is still out of order, Beaker will be travelling to Nigeria with a small long-distance radio transmitter and receiver in his baggage, which he will be able to use to keep in touch with me back here in Gypping in the Marsh. Once you have met up with Beaker, I would very much like it if you could give me a call on the equipment - Beaker will be able to show you how to use it - so that we will be able to talk in person, one to one, at last. Please do remind Beaker about this when you meet him at the airport. Finally, Beaker mentioned that you have not yet got back to him and recommended a decent hotel. I would appreciate it if you could do so as soon as possible so that Beaker knows where he will be staying while he is in Nigeria. He is much happier if everything is planned out neatly. I look forward to speaking to you on Wednesday, and to a successful conclusion to this transaction. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray; Cc: Felix Okafor Subject: What is going on at your end? Sent: Mon, 20 Feb 2006 16:47:17 Mr Murray, I have just checked my emails and I am disappointed to discover that you have not seen fit to respond to my recent emails. On top of this, Beaker informs me that you have not responded to his emails either. What on earth is going on at your end? Beaker is travelling over to meet you in Nigeria on Tuesday evening. There are arrangements to be made, Mr Murray, and quickly. This is no time to be idly sitting back in your chair, fantasising about the contents of your secretary's undergarments; this is a time for action. I expect better from a first-class lawyer such as yourself. Kindly get back to me immediately, and set about restoring what is left of your reputation in my eyes. Gilbert Murray From: Mark Murray To: Beaker; Cc: Gilbert Murray Subject: Memo (Urgent) Sent: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 10:42:01 +0000 (GMT) I have received your email message with contents well noted, I have as well noted your flight schedule details and have already made a hotel reservation on your behalf. Several arrangements is being put to place here to ensure that your trip to Nigeria is not in vain. As you know there is not much time to this transaction despite the fact a concrete arrangement is being put to place here to facilitate whatever that is to be done. I will advise that you come along with some gift items for the officials involved to enable them to endorse their signatories on the required documents without much questionings. I will advise that Mr Billy Beaker should put on a black jacket with a red face cap and approach any person that carries a signpost bearing Mr Beaker welcome to Nigeria, then he should know that the person is from me. I hope he has the $4,100 with him. He should also come with some gift items like as I have stated above ie wristwatches and Panasonic cameras and two female wristwatches for the Finance Minister (Mrs Ngozi Iweala) who will be endorsing the final release document from the Federal Ministry of Finance. Please scan and send via email attachment your passport copy or an ID for identification at the airport. I will appreciate if you or Beaker give me a call. I will also want you to send me a telephone number where I can reach you or Beaker before his departure to the Federal Republic of Nigeria. It is paramount that I speak with any of you, OK. Waiting for your telephone number urgently. Best regards, Mark Murray CEO, McMurray Chambers & Associates From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray Subject: Beaker is on his way to the airport Sent: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 12:25:17 Dear Mr Murray, I am pleased to see that you have finally deigned to respond to one of my emails. Better late than never, I suppose. I have to say, Mr Murray, you have not been very helpful over the past few days. Beaker tells me that he emailed you with quite a few questions about his visit to Nigeria, and that you did not have the decency to respond to a single one of them. I only hope that your attitude improves over the next few days while Beaker is over there with you in Nigeria. Now then, thanks to your delay in responding to my emails, you are too late to get in touch with Beaker. As you would already know if you had read my emails properly, Beaker travelled down to London early this morning to pick up his visa from the Nigerian High Commission. He contacted me earlier using the radio transmitter he is carrying with him to tell me that he had picked up the visa without any problems. Beaker is spending this afternoon doing some sightseeing around London, and will be travelling to Heathrow airport early this evening in time to catch his flight. As Beaker has already left Gypping in the Marsh, he will be unable to send you a scanned copy of his passport: obviously, he has it with him. However, this should not be a problem, as you will be able to recognise Beaker by his clothing: he will be wearing a beige safari suit and he will be carrying a large leather briefcase, containing the $4,100. I will contact him using the radio transmitter this afternoon and instruct him to purchase a red baseball cap as you requested, and to wear that when he arrives in Nigeria. I will also instruct him to look out for you in Arrivals. Please make sure that the sign you are holding is large and clear. Regarding the gift items that you mentioned, I will instruct Beaker to purchase some watches from the duty free shop at the airport. You asked for my telephone number. How many times do I have to tell you that my telephone is out of order at the moment? However, as I have already said, you will be able to contact me using the radio transmitter that Beaker is carrying with him. I must go: work beckons. I will tell Beaker that you have been in touch. Please ensure that you are not late to meet him at the airport: as I said the other day, Beaker can get flustered easily if things do not go according to plan, and he has never been abroad before. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I just thought: could I ask you to remind Beaker to take his medication while he is in Nigeria? He has to take it three times a day, and he is somewhat prone to forgetting unless he is reminded. Believe me, Mr Murray, you do not want to see what happens if Beaker doesn't take his medication. It is not a pretty sight. From: Gilbert Murray To: Raphael Ebube; Cc: Mark Murray Subject: My assistant is arriving in Nigeria tomorrow morning Sent: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 12:44:18 Dear Mr Ebube, A quick note to inform you that my assistant, Beaker, is arriving in Nigeria tomorrow morning to obtain the documents that I need in order to retrieve my inheritance. He is being met by my lawyer, Barrister Mark Murray (no relation) at the airport early tomorrow morning. Mr Murray will then accompany Beaker as he sorts everything out. I am assuming that Mr Murray will be in contact with you in the very near future to arrange a meeting with Beaker at the bank. I would appreciate it if you could offer Beaker whatever assistance is necessary during his stay in Nigeria. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Beaker To: Mark Murray Subject: I HAVE GOT MY VISA Sent: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 13:42:28 Hello Mr Murray, It is me Beaker again. I am in London today because I came down here this morning to go to the Nigerian High Commission and pick up my visa which I did and so I have now got my visa so I will be able to come and visit you. Right now I am in an internet cafe in London. London is a very big place. It is a lot bigger than Gypping in the Marsh and there are a lot more people. I get nervous when there are lots of people about who I do not know. I hope I do not get too nervous when I come to Nigeria. Mr Murray, not you, the other Mr Murray, called me a bit earlier on the radio transmitter he has given me and he told me that you would be meeting me at the airport and that you would be carrying a sign with my name on it so I will look out for you. I will be wearing a brown safari suit, Mr Murray told me to buy a red hat and wear that so I will look for one this afternoon and I will buy one if I can find one. Mr Murray also told me to buy some watches when I get to the airport so that I can give them to people as little presents when I meet them. I will buy you a little present too because Mr Murray said that you are going to look after me while I am in Nigeria and that will be my way of thanking you. Mr Murray told me that you have booked me into a hotel. That is very nice of you so thank you very much. I hope it is a nice one and that it has satellite television so that I do not miss Chucklevision because that is my favourite programme because it is very funny. I am going to visit the Tower of London now because I have heard that it is very nice. Then I will go to the airport. I will make sure that I get there very early so that I do not miss my flight. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow morning in the airport. Thanking you, Beaker From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: LET US WAIT HIS ARRIVAL Sent: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 17:10:06 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, From all indications I assume we are at the verge of breakthrough, Mr Murray (the attorney) informed me that Beaker has left for Nigeria. I am very happy for this new developments and I want to thank you for all your effort and concerns so far. I assure you that I will take good care of him all through the days he will be here in my country. Immediately he arrives the attorney will go and pick him up at the airport. We have also arranged a hotel where he will lodge for the number of days he will be here. I will buy him gifts to send to you when he is through with his assignment here, when he will be going back. Finally I want you to remind him that he must disclose or discuss this transaction with any third party (sic) while he is here. This is for security reasons. I hope you understand what I mean? He must take instructions, directives and adhere strictly to the directives of the attorney. Let us wait for his arrival. Best wishes, Felix Abua Okafor From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: THERE IS NO NEED Sent: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 17:17:26 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, There is no need for you to involve your own lawyer as the claim is not in your country. The claim is with Standard Trust Bank Plc here in my country. Mr Mark Murray will handle all legal aspect for a successful transfer of this fund to you. I will also follow up things from my office. And remember this transaction must not be disclosed to any third party until we conclude. This is to avoid any problem of any sort. Best wishes, Felix Abua Okafor From: Gilbert Murray To: Mark Murray; Cc: Felix Okafor Subject: Beaker was detained by Customs officials at the airport Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 09:52:17 Dear Mr Murray, I have just received a call from Beaker on the portable radio transmitter. Apparently he was detained by Customs officials when he arrived in Lagos and he has only just been released. The poor man sounds extremely distressed. Apparently the Customs officials searched Beaker's baggage and when they found the $4,100 he was carrying they demanded to know why he was carrying such a large amount of money. They also wanted to know why he was carrying a portable radio transmitter. Beaker is not good at explaining things at the best of times, and he tells me that he got extremely flustered. Apparently the Customs officials detained him for just over four hours, and questioned him remorselessly. Beaker assures me that he told them nothing at all about our transaction, and that he just about managed to persuade them that he was engaged on a business transaction. Finally the Customs officials let him go, but only after he had agreed to give them the watches that he purchased at Heathrow airport as a small bribe. By the time Beaker was released by the Customs officials, he found that you were nowhere to be seen in the airport, which distressed him even more. That is when he contacted me using the radio transmitter. I can only assume that you left the airport when Beaker failed to emerge into the arrivals hall. That is quite understandable: how were you to know that he had been detained by Customs? However, this now leaves us in an awkward situation. Beaker is now at the airport and sounds extremely upset and worried. By the sound of things, I don't think he has taken his medication, and that is not a good thing. I have tried to calm Beaker down as much as possible, but what we really need to do is for you to meet up with him as soon as possible. To this end, I have instructed Beaker to wait in the arrivals hall, and I have told him that I would contact you and ensure that you got back to the airport as soon as possible to pick him up. I do apologise for any inconvenience this must have caused you. This has not been a promising start to our transaction. However, now that Beaker has been released, it is now imperative that you go to collect him as soon as possible. I am extremely worried about him: he does not react well to stressful situations, especially when he hasn't taken his medication. Please get back to me immediately and let me know what time you expect to be back at the airport. I will then contact Beaker and let him know what time you will be arriving. If you could also suggest a place in the airport to meet Beaker, I will pass this on to him and ensure that he is there when you arrive. I hope to hear from you as soon as you read this email. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. As soon as you meet up with Beaker, could you please ensure that he takes his medication immediately? He must take two of the red pills, one blue capsule and three of the small green pills. From: Mark Murray To: Gilbert Murray Subject: BEAKER WHERE ARE YOU? Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:03:43 +0000 (GMT) DEAR GILBERT MURRAY, WHAT EXACTLY IS HAPPENING? BEAKER WHERE ARE YOU??? WE HAVE BEEN IN THE AIRPORT SINCE 4AM WAITING FOR YOU TO ARRIVE. THE BRITISH AIRWAYS BOA PLANE ARRIVED BUT WE CANNOT SEE BEAKER. YOU SAID BEAKER WILL BE WEARING A BEIGE SAFARI SUIT AND HE WILL BE CARRYING A LARGE LEATHER BRIEFCASE, THERE IS NOBODY PUTTING ON THIS TYPE OF ATTIRE. WHAT IS YOUR FLIGHT SEAT NUMBER? PLEASE GET BACK TO ME IMMEDIATELY. RIGHT NOW I AM SENDING YOU THIS MAIL FROM AN INTERNET CAFE IN THE AIRPORT. PLEASE CALL BEAKER ON THE RADIO TRANSMITTER SO THAT WE KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. ARE YOU SURE BEAKER BOARDED THE FLIGHT??? YOU CAN AS WELL USE A PUBLIC PHONE TO CALL ME IMMEDIATELY ON TEL: +234-8033863087. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME IMMEDIATELY. MY TEMPERAMENT IS WEARING THIN. MARK MURRAY From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PLEASE REACH BEAKER ASAP Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:09:18 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, Due to my work, I was unable to go to the airport with the attorney. The attorney and some colleagues have been arranged to pick Beaker up this morning from the airport. But however I just received a call now from the attorney Barrister Mark Murray that they have been in the airport since 4 o'clock am waiting for Beaker's arrival and that to their greatest surprise Beaker is not among the passengers that arrived at Lagos airport early on Wednesday morning at 04:55 with flight number BA0137. Could you please as a matter of urgency reach him via the radio transmitter with him to know the present situation of things and where he is right now? Please get back to us immediately. Regards, Felix Abua Okafor NB. I am not happy about the issue of poor communication network between us. Why can't Beaker call me or the attorney? From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Beaker was detained by Customs officials at the airport Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:24:05 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I just received your email, stating that Beaker was detained by the Customs. I hope he did not disclose this transaction to them??? Please remind him again that on no account must he disclose anything relating to this transaction to anybody no matter what. I will reach the attorney immediately and notify him of this development, I pray he is still at the airport. Meanwhile reach Beaker through the transmitter and tell him to wait at the arrival of the airport. The attorney will come for him any moment from now. Please tell Beaker to be patient. They will be right there on time to pick him up. Best wishes, Felix Abua Okafor From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor; Cc: Mark Murray Subject: Beaker is now on his way to a hotel Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:42:57 Dear Mr Okafor, I have just received your emails, and one from Mr Murray. I am terribly sorry for all this confusion. I did not realise that Mr Murray had been waiting at the airport for all this time. I cannot understand why Beaker failed to meet up with him. I can only assume that in his distressed state he failed to see the sign that Mr Murray was holding. I have just spoken to Beaker on the radio transmitter, and I am afraid to say that things appear to be going from bad to worse. Beaker is now in a very distressed state. He told me that a strange man started bothering him at the airport. Apparently he simply wouldn't leave Beaker alone. In the end, Beaker said that the only way he could get away from the man was to leave the airport and get into a taxi. He was in the taxi when I spoke to him on the radio transmitter. Beaker tells me that he has asked the taxi driver to take him to a hotel where he will feel safe. He tells me that the hotel he is going to is called the Eko Hotels And Suites and that according to the taxi driver it is located on Adetokunbo Ademola Street on Victoria Island (I apologise if I have not spelled that correctly). The taxi driver has assured him that it is a good hotel and that he will be fine there. I have told Beaker that as soon as he gets to the hotel he should go to the hotel lounge, sit down, take his medication, calm down and wait for Mr Murray to pick him up there. Please, Mr Okafor, there is no time to waste. Beaker is in a terrible state. He has definitely not taken his medication: he is starting to become confused and his words are becoming slurred. Please contact Mr Murray immediately and ask him to hasten to the hotel right away with his colleagues to pick up Beaker from the hotel lounge. Please get back to me immediately to confirm that Mr Murray will meet Beaker in the hotel lounge. I will then call Beaker back on the radio transmitter and let him know that Mr Murray will be arriving soon. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Beaker tells me that he was not in fact wearing his beige safari suit when he arrived at the airport. Apparently he spilled coffee down the front of it while he was waiting for his flight, so he changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt which is what he is wearing now. I suppose that could explain why Mr Murray failed to spot him. From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor; Cc: Mark Murray Subject: What is going on over there? Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 12:05:12 Dear Mr Okafor, What is going on over there? I have just had another call from Beaker to tell me that Mr Murray and his gang have still not collected him from the hotel lounge. There is no time to waste, Mr Okafor. Beaker is sounding increasingly incoherent and confused and I am seriously worried about him. He needs someone to make sure that he takes his medication. Please send Mr Murray and his henchmen to the hotel immediately, and get back to me as soon as you have done so. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: ARE YOU PLAYING GAMES WITH ME??? Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 12:47:30 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I am sick and tired of all this whole bullshit!!!!!!!!!! What exactly is happening? I called the attorney to notify him of the reason why they were unable to meet with Beaker. The attorney is presently in Eko Hotel and Suites and Beaker is nowhere to be found. Are you sure you are not playing over my intelligence? In fact I am beginning to conclude within my mind that Beaker never boarded the flight in the first place? If he did how come his name (BILLY BEAKER) is not in the passengers list? HOW COME HE DID NOT PUT ON THE AGREED DRESS CODE??? And when and where did Customs pick him from? I just called the Controller of Customs attached to the airport but no Beaker was picked or detained. Please reconfirm the flight Billy Beaker boarded, and when did he arrive? How come he cannot call me or the attorney at least to notify us of his arrival and where he is presently? Your last mail to me is that he has taken a taxi to EKO HOTELS AND SUITES, I had to take permission from my office to join the attorney in the airport and we left to the Eko Hotels and Suites only for us to get there and he is not there. All enquiry within the lounge as to know if there is any customer by the name Billy Beaker shows there is no such person in the entire hotel. Mr Gilbert I must be frank with you. I am sick and tired of all this trash. I told you to send this money through Western Union money transfer but you insisted that Beaker will come down, now can you imagine all the stress we are passing through? Moreover the bank have issued me another ultimatum which I am sure they have also sent to you to notify you that if by the end of Wednesday 22nd 2006 you could not send the required documents to the document processing unit of the bank for authentication and approval, the bank will be left with no other option other than to cancel this fund. And I hope you know if they cancel this fund it will be very hard to resuscitate. If you are serious please go to a public phone booth and call me or the attorney now. Or tell Beaker to call. Worried, Felix Abua Okafor From: Felix Okafor To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: What is going on over there? Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 12:56:11 +0000 (GMT) Dear Gilbert Murray, If really Beaker is in Eko Hotels and Suites ask Beaker to send us the hotel lounge phone number so that we can call him and know where he is. I await the hotel lounge telephone number so that we can speak with him. Worried, Felix Abua Okafor From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor; Cc: Mark Murray Subject: We need to work together to sort this out Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 14:22:31 Mr Okafor, I have just read your most recent emails. To be frank, sir, I found both the insinuations that you chose to make and the language in which you chose to make them insulting in the extreme. I do not take kindly to foul language. Nor do I take kindly to having my word - the word of an Englishman - doubted. However, for the sake of our business relationship, I shall deal with the points that you have raised. Firstly, you asked why Beaker's name did not appear in the airline's passenger list. That is probably because Beaker would have booked the flight using his first name: Billy - or William to be exact - is his middle name, which he prefers to use. Secondly, you asked why Beaker did not wear the agreed dress code. I have already told you that he apparently spilled coffee down the front of his safari suit at Heathrow airport and therefore had to change clothes. Thirdly, you asked why Beaker cannot call you or the attorney. Believe me, Mr Okafor, I have given Beaker your telephone number, and that of Mr Murray, and I have asked him to call you. I can only put the fact that he has obviously not done so down to his increasingly confused state which has been brought on by his failure to take his medication. Fourthly, you asked why the Controller of Customs denied having detained anyone called Beaker this morning. Given the fact that the Customs officials only let Beaker go after he had bribed them with the watches he had bought, do you really think that the Controller of Customs would admit to this? It would not surprise me at all if the Customs agents had erased all mention of Beaker's detention from their records, in order to prevent people from finding out about their corrupt activities. Fifthly, you asked why Beaker is not in the hotel where he said he would be. I have to admit, this was as much of a mystery - and a concern - to me as it was to you. I have just called Beaker using the radio transmitter to find out exactly where he is. Unfortunately, he seems to be in an even worse state than he was before, and he rambled somewhat incoherently when I spoke to him. From what I can make out, Beaker did indeed arrive at the hotel by taxi. However, he said that he quickly became worried that the hotel staff were watching him for some reason - Beaker does tend to feel paranoid if he does not take his medication - and he told me that he felt so deeply uncomfortable that he left. From what I can understand, Beaker is now walking the streets of Lagos. I tried to make him understand that he should return to the hotel and call you, but I could not make him see sense in the state he is currently in. At this point, Mr Okafor, I would like to emphasise the gravity of the current situation. Because he has not taken his medication, Beaker is now in a paranoid, incoherent and confused state. If he does not take his medication again soon, he will quickly become delusional: I have seen this happen to him before. To make matters worse, Beaker is currently wandering around the streets of Lagos, carrying $4,100 of my money in a briefcase. As I am sure you can appreciate, I am extremely worried about Beaker... and about my money too. Who knows what rogues and rapscallions there are on the streets of Lagos? Anything could happen to the man if we cannot make him see reason. Mr Okafor, we need to work together on this. The last thing we need is for us to fall out and start apportioning blame to each other. What we need to do is to deal with the situation in which we find ourselves. I am going to call Beaker again as soon as I have sent you this email. I am going to instruct Beaker to enter the first hotel he comes across, to sit in the lounge and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES to move out of the lounge. I will instruct him to call me once he has found a hotel. I will then forward the hotel details on to you. Hopefully you and Mr Murray will then be able to go and meet Beaker. Mr Okafor, Beaker is sick. Please try to understand that he needs our help. If we do not work together on this, not only are we in danger of losing the $4,100 and jeopardising this whole transaction, but I am deeply worried about Beaker's health and safety. I only hope that I can get through to Beaker and make him see sense before his condition deteriorates too far. I will get back to you as soon as I know exactly where Beaker is. Do I have your agreement to work together on this? Please let me know by return. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor; Cc: Mark Murray Subject: I have managed to get through to Beaker Sent: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 16:31:09 Dear Mr Okafor, Good news, my dear fellow. I have managed to get through to Beaker on the radio transmitter, and what is more I have managed to make him understand the situation. It wasn't easy, given Beaker's current condition, but I must have caught him at a relatively lucid moment, as I was able to make him understand that he needed to get to a hotel and stay put there and wait for you and Mr Murray to come and pick him up. I also managed to persuade him to take his medication. I am happy to report that Beaker has now complied with my instructions. He has since contacted me again and he tells me that he has found his way to a hotel called the Sheraton Hotel and Towers, and that he has indeed taken his medication. He seemed far more coherent than he has been all day. Beaker tells me that he is now seated in Goodies Pub within the hotel: he said that he was attracted to it because it has satellite television. He tells me that he is hoping to be able to catch today's episode of Chucklevision (whatever that is). Apparently he has made friends with a jolly nice fellow called Mr Abacha, who Beaker tells me has some very interesting business ideas. Beaker certainly seems to have calmed down significantly since this morning. I think that his experience in Customs this morning must have shaken him up somewhat, and the confusion of the rest of the day, exacerbated by his failure to take his medication, just seemed to make things worse. Anyway, now that we know where Beaker is located, I would appreciate it if you and Mr Murray and his gang could please do your best to go and meet Beaker as soon as possible. Kindly get back to me as soon as you have met up with Beaker. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the trials and tribulations of the day are all behind us now. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Felix Okafor; Cc: Mark Murray Subject: I have been extremely disappointed by your attitude Sent: Thu, 23 Feb 2006 10:19:28 Dear Mr Okafor, I have been extremely disappointed by the attitude you have adopted over the past couple of days. Beaker took the time and trouble to travel all the way over to Nigeria to work on your transaction, yet he told me this morning that you and Mr Murray did not have the common decency to travel to meet him at the Sheraton Hotel and Towers yesterday. Happily though, it appears that Beaker's time has not been completely wasted. As I mentioned yesterday, he got chatting to a very nice fellow called Abacha, who has put forward what appears to be a very lucrative business proposal. If things are as they seem, it would appear that Mr Abacha's proposal will be even more profitable than the one that you put forward. Given the fact that you have let Beaker and I down disgracefully, and the fact that Mr Abacha puts himself forward in a far more businesslike manner than you and Mr Murray have ever done, I have instructed Beaker to move forward with Mr Abacha's proposal. If what Mr Abacha says is correct, I am confident that I will see a decent return on my investment in a very short time. Incidentally, Beaker tells me that he explained everything that happened yesterday to Mr Abacha, and he tells me that in Mr Abacha's opinion you and Mr Murray are "a pair of mugus". He is also of the opinion that the two of you are "bingo mumu mahus". I have to admit that I am not entirely sure what these phrases mean. Perhaps they are Nigerian banking terms. I wish that I could say that it has been nice doing business with you. However, I cannot. You and Mr Murray are entirely to blame for fouling up this transaction. If the two of you are incapable of carrying out the simple task of picking up a man at an airport, God only knows how you expected to complete the rest of that complex transaction. I would be surprised if you are capable of putting your trousers on in the morning without falling over. Finally, may I suggest that you and Mr Murray consider looking for an alternative careers... ones more suited to your obviously limited mental capacities? There must be plenty of toilets that need cleaning in Lagos. With a considerable amount of training and dedication, I am sure that you and Mr Murray would be able to master that job... well, maybe after a year or two. Best regards, Gilbert Murray Copyright 2003-2025 www.gilbertmurray.co.uk. All rights reserved. Copyright notice |
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