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Gilbert Murray MP's Westminster Blog - New The Gypping in the Marsh Podcast - New The Gypping in the Marsh Village Website - New
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The SignwriterIn which Gilbert Murray, a forgetful and somewhat hapless signwriter, is offered yet another chance to stand as the next of kin to someone who has died in a car accident along with all of his family, etc etc. How will this particular scammer react to Gilbert's curious mixture of carelessness and pedantry? Cast of characters
From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Private Message To Gilbert Murray Sent: Mon, 17 Apr 2006 06:10:53 -0700 (PDT) BARRISTER ZENG SEZIER ESQ Attn Gilbert Murray, I am Barrister Zeng Sezier, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to ENGR JC Murray, a national of your country, who is a contractor and have spent most of his life in my country (Togo). Hereinafter shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2004, my client, his wife and their only son were involved in a car accident along Bagida Express Road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my client's extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the assets and capital valued at $24.5 million left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the management of the finance/security company, where these huge deposits were lodged. The said finance/security company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next twenty official working days. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over two years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer. I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim. All I require from you is your honest co-operation to enable us to see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Awaiting to hear from you. Best regards, Barrister Zeng Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Re: Private Message To Gilbert Murray Sent: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 12:05:26 Dear Mr Sezier, I have just read the astonishing email you sent to me the other day. Do I understand this right: are you telling me that you can arrange for your dead client's money to be transferred into my bank account? Surely that's not possible; there must be rules and regulations in place to prevent things like that from happening. And even if it was possible, it sounds a bit dodgy to me: are you sure we'd get away with it? To be perfectly honest with you, I've been looking for a source of capital to expand my business for some time now - my bank's not being very co-operative - so if what you are saying is right, I might be interested in pursuing this further. But before I do anything, I think I need some more information from you, as well as a concrete assurance from you that if I went along with this scheme I wouldn't be putting myself at any risk. Please get back to me - I'm intrigued. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Get back to me immediately!! Sent: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 10:58:26 -0700 (PDT) Hello! Gilbert Murray, I am very glad you have a very reasonable mind and asked very important question which is needed. It may seem very complex and impossible to you, but I have no much words to tell you because I believe everything will be clear to you on the process. Keep your chin up and co-operate with me honestly and frankly. Had it been it will be impossible, I don't think to be here in my office wasting time to mail you, but I know how beneficiary this is going to be for both of us; I mean you and I. Let me assure you:
In short there are so many proofs to let you know that you are into NO risk and there will be anything that should make you entertain any atom of fear. Below are the informations needed to present to the bank to start the claim:
Hence I get the above informations, I will forward them to the bank to take an immediate action towards the transfer. I assure you that you might be contacted by the bank just from any moment as I receive the information. They are the main informations needed to for the procedure and the changing of the ownership, nominating you as the new benefactor of the said funds. I am also advising you to call me on my direct phone line as soon as you read this mail for a very important and confidential informations regarding the deal: 00228 9113353. Thanks for your good understanding and hoping to read from you soon. Sincerely yours, Mr Zeng Sezier From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: I NEED AN UPDATE??? To Gilbert Murray Sent: Thu, 27 Apr 2006 07:59:36 -0700 (PDT) Dear Gilbert Murray, How are you doing? Hope all is well with you. Please could you be kind enough to let me know what is going on. Hope to hear from you soonest. My regards, Barr Zeng Sezier From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Find below application letter and also confirm receipt of this mail asap! Sent: Fri, 28 Apr 2006 06:34:21 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, Greetings from here! I am in receipt of ur response email, contents quite noted. As I have earlier assured u concerning the scheme which I am initiating u with, every arrangement is set for us to proceed towards the realisation hence ur co-operation and honesty. The mandate given by the bank is fast approaching, while ur recent interest I think we just need to be swift. Having resumed full communication it's assumed that u have agreed to champion this course with me? Now listen, I have an application letter which will give a nice composition towards this claim, though u have to file some part which is meant for u and then send to the bank officially for them to commence operation, instead of my previous request on ur informations. I think it's better when u send this application directly to the bank. Having read from ur mail in regards to ur new business setup which will require financial aid I think this is an avenue for u to fully achieve ur set goal in this direction, because this is an enticing prospect. Be rest assured that after the deal the docs involved will be destroyed as I am very close with an officer who is working with this bank to avoid future problems as I would not like to be linked with such base on my reputation here. The officer in charge in the bank has assured me that with his position in the bank he will do everything possible to ensure the safety of all. You should as a matter fact keep this idea with u to avoid spreading the information across so that we does not lose track as our respective positions in life is very important. Upon filing the application letter prior sending to the bank I will advise that u send a copy for my records. I will be glad having further dealings with u in the near future, while I count on u for now! I will be expecting ur speedy actions towards the closing of this deal very soon. I wish u and ur family all the best. My regards, Barr Zeng Sezier
From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Re: Find below application letter and also confirm receipt of this mail asap! Sent: Fri, 28 Apr 2006 14:58:01 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your informative email. I will be pleased to move forward as you suggest. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Good morning! Sent: Sat, 29 Apr 2006 04:30:59 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, Many thanx to your response. Endeavour to send the filed application letter as was sent to u, directly to the bank as was outlined in my mail. Also send a copy to me for record purpose. I will be happy when the bank will go into full swing for the processing of the transfer to ur account. Pls u should do me this favour, I will like to have ur phone number it's very important, I hope u have mine. I wish u a happy weekend! Regards, Barr Zeng Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Re: Good morning! Sent: Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:51:45 Dear Mr Sezier, I do not seem to be in possession of such a letter as noted by yourself. Please forward such letter on immediately for immediate action. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Find below my mail the application letter! Sent: Mon, 01 May 2006 06:42:35 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Gilbert, You can now see the application letter as sent. Pls endeavour to send it to the bank by tomorrow morning. Thanks and God bless! Barr Zeng Sezier
From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Response to you! Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 01:33:18 -0700 (PDT) Dear Gilbert Murray, I wonder why you did not get back to me since then. I hope there is nothing bad at your end?? Nice, hope to hear any word from you. Thanks, Barrister Zeng Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Re: Response to you! Sent: Thu, 04 May 2006 09:39:09 Dear Mr Sezier, There is nothing wrong at this end. I trust that things are progressing well at your end? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: FILL THIS APPLICATION AND SEND IT TO THE BANK Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 13:44:43 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, Thanks for your urgent respond this is the most important step I want you to take, please fill this application and send it to the bank by the bank email address as soon as you send it do let me know. I wish u and ur family all the best. My regards, Barr Zeng Sezier
From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Re: FILL THIS APPLICATION AND SEND IT TO THE BANK Sent: Fri, 05 May 2006 22:03:41 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your email. Please be assured that I will act on your advice as soon as is likely. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: FILL THIS APPLICATION AND SEND IT TO THE BANK Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 05:12:34 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Gilbert Murray, Thanks for your mail. I called the bank this morning and they told me that you have not submitted your application. Why?? Please fill the application and send it to the bank. ZENG From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Re: FILL THIS APPLICATION AND SEND IT TO THE BANK Sent: Mon, 08 May 2006 13:37:07 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your email. I apologise for the slight delay which was caused by matters outside of my control. Rest assured that things will be back on track presently. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: FILL THE APPLICATION AND SEND TO THE BANK Sent: Thu, 11 May 2006 03:20:02 -0700 (PDT) Hello Mr Gilbert, How are u my good friend? What is going on? Why haven't u sent the application yet? This is no joke matter. $24 million is no child's play. Why do u want to let go the whole of my efforts for years? Try as much as u can to send letter pls. Thanks and GOD bless, Barr Zeng From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Re: FILL THE APPLICATION AND SEND TO THE BANK Sent: Fri, 12 May 2006 14:33:09 Dear Mr Sezier, Please bear with me: this is taking more time than I thought it would. How are things progressing at your end? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Mail Sent: Sat, 13 May 2006 06:22:30 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Gilbert, In fact I am pleased with the way u are suspending this negotiation. If u should know what $24.5 means to me then u will ensure that the bank does not get hold of my efforts of years. If $24.5 is nothing to u, it's quite a great thing to me and my entire village. Expedite action by sending this application letter to the bank. My dear brother we all need money let us not pretend as if it's nothing to us. This is the new email address of the bank as contained in the application. Regards, Barr Zeng Sezier
From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Are you sure you have spelled the man at the bank's name correctly? Sent: Mon, 15 May 2006 09:08:22 Dear Mr Sezier, Regarding the application letter I have to send to the bank, are you sure you have spelled the man's name correctly? You have told me that he's called "Cristain", but that doesn't sound like any name I've ever heard of. Did you mean "Christian"... or maybe "Crispin"... or perhaps "Christine"? Please advise. I wouldn't want to annoy this chap by getting his name wrong. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: Are you sure you have spelled the man at the bank's name correctly? Sent: Mon, 15 May 2006 10:19:36 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Gilbert, Thanx to ur response. Time is of essence on our side, as contained in the complimentary card I have with me the actual spelling is Christian Helmut I did a mistake. You are really correct with ur question. Pls endeavour to send the application letter as soon as possible. Thanks and God bless all on this venture. Barr Zeng Sezier
From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: So shall I send off the application to the man at the bank? Sent: Tue, 16 May 2006 09:12:11 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank for your email. It's a good job I noticed that mistake of yours in the application letter, isn't it? Some people can get very shirty if you get their names wrong. If we'd have sent off that application to Mr Helmet and spelled his name wrong he might have got very annoyed and he might not have answered me. I am a signwriter by profession and you've got to be especially careful with things like that: the smallest mistake with peoples' names can cost you dearly in my business. I'll never forget what happened a few years ago when I got one of my customer's names slightly wrong on a new sign I had made for the front of his shop. I only got one letter of his name wrong, but he wasn't happy at all; in fact he threatened to sue me. He was most unpleasant to me over the whole matter, when it was all just a simple mistake. I'll tell you what, that's the last time I do business with Mr Focker: if he ever wants another sign writing, he can go somewhere else. Anyway, now that we've got all that sorted out, shall I send off the application form to the man at the bank? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Thanx for ur message... Sent: Tue, 16 May 2006 12:55:35 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Gilbert, Thanx to ur mail. Having gone through ur mail I discovered that such mistake might cause a very big damage. All the same you were fast enough to dictate that mistake out and thanx for that. You should go ahead to send it as planned and do send a copy for my perusal OK. I will also like to have ur phone number since u cannot call knowing fully well what is involved. Afternoon calls are better for me since I am always busy during morning hours. Sincerely, Barr Zeng Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: I will send off the application right away Sent: Wed, 17 May 2006 09:03:44 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your email. I will send off the application to Mr Helmet right away. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. While we're on the subject of names, I notice that you've been calling me "Mr Gilbert". "Gilbert" is obviously my first name, not my surname, so calling me "Mr Gilbert" is just plain silly. My business associates call me "Mr Murray", but my friends call me "Gilbert". I'd be honoured if you could call me "Gilbert" too, my friend. From: Gilbert Murray To: Christian Helmut; Cc: Zeng Sezier Subject: Regarding my dead uncle's money Sent: Wed, 17 May 2006 10:32:26 Dear Mr Helmet, Please find attached an application letter regarding some money that belonged to a relative of mine. He's dead now and I'm his next of kin so I'm claiming his money as mine. I hope that's OK. Please get back to me with details of how you're going to send me the money. A cheque would be fine with me, as long as it doesn't bounce. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Mrs Bennadate Ego To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Find details as contained in the file Sent: Wed, 17 May 2006 12:17:09 GMT Attention: Mr Gilbert Murry Sir, Find as an attached document from the Foreign Remittance Department of Ecobank and please you are advised to confirm the following questions as contained in the attachment file in affirmative. Yours sincerely, Mrs Bennadate Ego Secretary to the Director, Ecobank, Lome, Togo From: Gilbert Murray To: Mrs Bennadate Ego; Cc: Zeng Sezier Subject: There must be some mistake Sent: Wed, 17 May 2006 14:31:55 Dear Mrs Ego, I have just read the very professional-looking letter that you sent to me. I can only assume that there must be some mistake. Firstly, my name is "Gilbert Murray". The letter that you sent to me was addressed to someone called "Gilbert Murry". That is not my name. Was this letter meant for someone else - someone with a very similar name to me? Secondly, the dead relative I wrote to Mr Helmet about was called "JC Murray". The letter that you sent to me referred to someone called "JC Murry". I am not related to anyone with that name. Thirdly, the dead relative I wrote to Mr Helmet about was my uncle. The letter that you sent to me referred to "JC Murry" being the brother or cousin of "Gilbert Murry". I can only assume that the letter that you sent to me was meant for someone else (someone with a very similar name to me) who also had a rich relative (one with a name very similar to my dead uncle's) who also banked with you and left $24.5 million on their death. What a strange coincidence. Isn't it a small world? Now that I have let you know about this mistake, you should be able to send off the letter to the "Gilbert Murry" for whom it was meant. Perhaps once you have done that you could send me a response to the letter I sent to Mr Helmet today? Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Sorry to be pedantic, but I did note two errors in the letter you accidentally sent to me. Not only did you spell Mr Helmet's first name incorrectly (I am reliably informed that your boss is called "Christian", not "Christain"), but you also wrote down $25.5 million as "$24.5 000.000.00", which is obviously incorrect (it should be written as "$24,500,000.00"). It pays to be exact where financial matters are concerned, my dear lady. You should know this, working for a bank. Take note. From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: There must be some mistake Sent: Wed, 17 May 2006 08:18:20 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, In fact there was truly a mistake according to what u saw on the message the bank sent to u. Despite the pressing situation I am facing right now I could have just gone to the bank to make report against this. My wife has been referred to the intensive ward of the general hospital a few hours ago and I am trying to see what I can do. In fact I am confused Mr Murray. I just came to my office to pick a file and my daughter called with this sad news. All the same God will take control. Have u informed the bank concerning this issue? Just keep trying ur best on my behalf for now, but tomorrow I will skip out time to visit the bank with this complaint OK. Keep fit my dear brother. Barr Zeng Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Hopefully Mr Helmet will get back to me today Sent: Thu, 18 May 2006 08:43:19 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your email. I must say, I was rather surprised when Mr Helmet's secretary sent me that letter which was obviously intended for someone else. I suppose it was an understandable mistake, what with this person having a name so similar to mine and having a rich cousin having a name so similar to JC Murray's who had died in similar circumstances leaving the same amount of money in the same bank with no surviving relatives. Maybe Mrs Ego is new at her job. Or perhaps she is merely a temp, standing in for Mr Helmet's normal secretary for some reason. That would explain her mistake. Anyway, whatever the reason for the woman's incompetence, hopefully Mr Helmet will get back to me today regarding the late JC Murray's fortune. You mentioned that your wife had been called into the intensive ward of the hospital. Is she a nurse, my friend? I have always admired nurses. If you ask me, they don't get nearly as much credit as they deserve for the difficult job they do. Please pass on my regards to your wife, my dear fellow. Tell her that I am full of admiration for her choice of career. I have a busy day today: I am halfway through painting a new shop sign for the local seamstress, Miss Cant. I must do my best to get it finished today, as I promised Miss Cant that it would be ready tomorrow. I will check my emails later on, and I will get back to you as soon as I hear back from Mr Helmet. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Thanx to ur response! Sent: Thu, 18 May 2006 06:55:01 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, Many thanx to ur explanatory response. I confronted the bank with the outcome of the mail the secretary to Mr Helmet sent to u yesterday, and was informed by the protocol officer of Ecobank that due to the report of that mistake Mrs Ego has been sanctioned by the disciplinary committee of the bank this morning. I was informed by the protocol officer Mr Jean Koffi that due to the influence of Mrs Ego's husband with the bank manager she was employed recently with not much of banking experience. I tried to reach Mr Helmet on this matter but was informed that he was too busy. Though Mr Koffi did not expand much concerning further action or what shall be done to rectify the matter, but promised that u will be communicated upon as soon as ur file gets to Mr Helmet's desk for ratification. This is a matter that involves a huge sum of money so carefulness must be applied to avoid mistake. I complimented ur cleverness in dictating that mistake Mr Murray. It seems u did not get me clearly concerning what I wrote about my wife! I was explaining to u that my wife took ill and was hospitalised. Presently, the report of her text indicates that she is suffering from acute malaria and typhoid fever which is so prevalent here. I do not mean that she is a nurse, it's only my daughter who is attending school of nursing in Ghana. My wife's illness has created a lot of concern as I am writing now, my relatives are all there in the hospital so I took a lick to enable me to meet the people in the bank for this matter. Though my wife is responding to treatment as at the time I visited the hospital this morning. Whenever the bank reaches you kindly get me informed if need be. My regards, Barr Zeng Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Nepotism is never a good thing Sent: Thu, 18 May 2006 16:19:53 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your email. So, Mrs Ego was only given a job at the bank because her husband put in a good word for her, was she? I was only saying to my sales manager the other day (my son Gilbert Jnr - he can be a bit of a duffer at times, but his heart's in the right place) how nepotism is never a good thing for a business. You should employ people because of their ability, not because of who they are related to. Mrs Ego would appear to be prime example of the problems that nepotism can cause in a business. While we're on the subject, does Mr Koffi's wife work at the bank too? Given her name, I wondered whether perhaps she might work on the tea trolley or something like that. Well, let us hope that the bank's disciplinary committee sack the useless Mrs Ego without any further ado. She gives a very bad impression, and that's never a good thing for a business. Anyway, enough of the incompetent Mrs Ego. I am sorry that I misunderstood you over your wife's condition, my dear fellow. I do hope that things aren't too serious and that she makes a speedy recovery. I'm no doctor, you understand, but I do have a layman's knowledge of the basics of preventative medicine. You might like to suggest to your wife once she has recovered that all this trouble could have been avoided if only she had taken precautions to avoid being bitten my mosquitos and if she had avoided drinking infected water. Getting bitten by mosquitos and drinking infected water is never a good thing for your health. Please do give your wife my regards. I must get back to Miss Cant's sign: the way things are going, I will be working late into the night to get it finished for tomorrow. I will get back to you as soon as I hear from the bank. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Christian Helmut To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Find attach doc From Ecobank Sent: Fri, 19 May 2006 10:27:08 GMT Attention: Mr Gilbert Murray From the desk of Mr Christian Helmut Sir, I acknowledge the receipt of your complaint and wish to apologise here on behalf of Ecobank management. We have taken steps to avoid such in the future and we are sorry for such unprofessional act which might cause some harm in our institution. Disciplinary action has been taken against my secretary who conducted the write up. Meanwhile, the areas where you noticed the mistakes correction have made and we look forward in serving you better as such mistake will be taken proper care of. My name is Mr Christian Helmut not Helmet like you did write in your protest mail. Thanks for your understanding! Mr Christian Helmut Director of Foreign Remittance Operation, Ecobank, Lome, Togo From: Gilbert Murray To: Christian Helmut Subject: There was no document attached to the email that you sent me Sent: Fri, 19 May 2006 11:39:32 Dear Mr Helmet, Thank you for your email. I am pleased to hear that disciplinary action has been taken against your secretary. Let me tell you, she did no favours whatsoever to the image of your bank. On the contrary, she rather gave the impression that your bank was some cheap, two-bit backstreet operation, rather than the fine, upstanding financial institution which I am sure it actually is. However, you can say what you like about your secretary's shortcomings, but one thing that she certainly did know how to do was attaching documents to emails. Contrary to what you wrote in your last email, there was nothing attached to it. Please get back to me by return and attach the document that you meant to attach to your last email. If you're finding it a bit difficult, perhaps you could ask one of your colleagues for some help. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: Mr Helmet has emailed me Sent: Fri, 19 May 2006 11:51:33 Dear Mr Sezier, Good news, my dear fellow: Mr Helmet has emailed me. However, he forgot to attach the document that he meant to send to me. I'll tell you one thing, Mr Sezier, Mr Helmet's secretary might have been as useful as a chocolate paintbrush, but at least she knew how to attach documents to emails. I hope Mr Helmet manages to find a suitable replacement before too long. Happily I managed to finish Miss Cant's new shop sign last night. I'm popping over there this afternoon to attach it to the front of her shop. I'm sure she'll be delighted with it. How is your wife, my friend? I trust that the hospital is giving her the best of care and that she didn't die overnight or anything like that. Do pass on my regards when you see her next. I will be thinking of her. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Christian Helmut To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Confirm receipt of attached file Sent: Sat, 20 May 2006 09:32:23 GMT Attention: Mr Gilbert Murray From the desk of Mr Christian Helmut Sir, I apologise for my message yesterday which attached file you could not see. While a new and competent secretary is being arranged to commence work on Monday, I maintained that I haven't been used to attaching files. I am resending it right now and please do confirm receipt to enable me to know that I have completed this very assignment. Please you should also forward an account where your claim will be transferred to as you did not indicate it in the application letter you sent on the 17th of May 2006. Thanks for your understanding! Mr Christian Helmut Director of Foreign Remittance Operation, Ecobank, Lome, Togo From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Sorry for my belated response Sent: Sun, 21 May 2006 09:47:11 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, I hope all is well with you and family? My wife was transferred to a specialist two days ago and since then I haven't been chanced to check my mail. I am trying to get the drugs prescribed by the doctor say by Monday I will be somewhat busy again. However, I hope everything is moving on well. Have u heard from the bank lately concerning the error made with the attached file? In case if I fail to respond in time never mind I will always spare out time to check and get back to u. Thanks and God bless, Barr Z Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Christian Helmut Subject: Document received Sent: Mon, 22 May 2006 10:04:19 Dear Mr Helmet, Thank you for your email. I trust that you had a pleasant weekend. I am pleased to report that I have now received the document you sent me. Congratulations on managing to attach it to the email successfully. It must feel good to know that you have learned a new skill. Well done. Incidentally, I couldn't help but notice that the relevant amount of $25.5 million was still written incorrectly in this latest letter (as "$24.5 000.000.00" and "U$D24,5.000.000.00", both of which are obviously incorrect). It really doesn't look good when the director of a bank makes a basic mistake like that. Hopefully your new secretary will have a better understanding of financial notation than you or your old secretary seem to have. While we're on the subject, I also noticed that in your letter you apologised for any inconvenience "this outrage" may have caused me. Please don't be too hard on yourself, Mr Helmet. Your command of the English language may not be quite up to scratch, but I certainly wouldn't go so far as to call your letter an "outrage". A travesty, maybe, but certainly not an outrage. Please get back to me by return and let me know where we go from here. Can I expect to receive a cheque in the post from you in the near future? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: The bank seems to be getting its act together at last Sent: Mon, 22 May 2006 10:06:42 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear that your wife is on the mend. I wish her a speedy and complete recovery. Remember to keep her away from those pesky mosquitos now, won't you? You don't want her contracting malaria again once she's better. Why not buy her a can of insect repellant the next time you go shopping? You never know when something like that may come in handy. I am sad to report that I have had to spend all weekend working. I delivered Miss Cant's new shop sign on Friday afternoon, and I decided to surprise her by putting it up above her shop window without telling her. Unfortunately, she was not best pleased when she came out of the shop to inspect my handiwork. In my haste to get the sign finished last week, I had accidentally misspelled her name. I was only one letter out, but it was enough to make her extremely displeased with the result. In order to keep her happy, I agreed to make her a brand new sign over the weekend, and that's what I've been doing all weekend. I'm exhausted. However, I'm happy to report that I've double-checked this new sign, and I'm sure that there are no mistakes on it. I'm going to deliver it straight after I've sent you this email. Anyway, back to business. On a happier note, the bank seems to be getting its act together at last. Mr Helmet managed to send me that document over the weekend, so everything seems to be nicely on track. No doubt I'll be receiving a cheque in the post from the bank any day now. I've got another busy week ahead of me: I've got a new shop sign to make for Mr Panis the greengrocer. He wants something quite complicated, with pictures of fruit and vegetables all over the sign, so I'm expecting this sign to keep me busy over the next few days. I'll keep you updated regarding this business. Do give your wife my regards... and give her a spray of insect repellant from me, my dear chap. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Check and get back my good friend Sent: Mon, 22 May 2006 03:45:27 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, Many thanx to ur response. When did the bank say they are going to transfer the money to u? In case if there is anything kindly write me OK? Can u assist me somehow financially? I need some little money to complete the one I have in order to purchase the injections the doctor recommended. If u can't there is no problem OK. I heard ur advice as regards to my wife's situation, the environment where I live is free from mosquitos, though u should know that it's a tropical disease. I will be happy hearing that the bank is set to transfer the money to ur account. Thanx and God bless, Barr Zeng Sezier From: Gilbert Murray To: Zeng Sezier Subject: I am surprised to hear that you can't afford a few drugs Sent: Mon, 22 May 2006 14:33:16 Dear Mr Sezier, Thank you for your email. I must say, my dear fellow, that I'm surprised to hear that you can't afford a few drugs. I thought you were a barrister? All of the barristers I've ever come across have been just about the richest people I've ever met... which isn't surprising, given the size of the fees that you chaps normally charge for the legal work you carry out. The lawyer in the village whose services I have been using for the past ten or twelve years - Welsby, of the firm Elton and Welsby - is absolutely minted, Mr Sezier... and his legal fees are about the most reasonable I have ever come across. Surely an experienced barrister such as yourself must be rolling in money? If not, may I suggest that you take a long hard look at your charging structure, my friend? Perhaps you are not charging enough for your legal services. Anyway, this is all beside the point. If your wife is in need of drugs and you're not in a position to be able to pay for them yourself, I'd be only too happy to help you out. Tell me, Mr Sezier, exactly what drugs has her doctor recommended that you can't afford? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Christian Helmut Subject: How is my application progressing? Sent: Tue, 23 May 2006 11:50:38 Dear Mr Helmet, I am surprised not to have heard back from you since the email I sent to you yesterday. No doubt you are busy helping your new secretary to settle into her new job... showing her where you keep the paperclips, instructing her how you like your tea, showing her how to adjust the height of her swivel chair, that sort of thing. I am sure that you are a busy man, but I would very much like to know how my application to have the funds from my late uncle's bank account transferred over to me is going. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you could get back to me with an update as soon as you have finished showing your new secretary the ropes. Can I expect to receive a cheque from you before the end of the week? I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Jean Koffi To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Your application is still being processed? Sent: Tue, 23 May 2006 13:03:15 GMT Attention: Mr Gilbert Murray From Mr Koffi, Protocol Officer, Ecobank, Lome, Togo Rep Sir, This is to inform you that we are still waiting to receive from you certain informations, according to the last message sent to you by the Director of Foreign Remittance Mr Christian Helmut which will be used for the update of your file to enable us get proper informations as regards to your request to release your late uncle's deposit with this bank. Your request for an issuance of a cheque in this regard will be determined upon our bureaucratic findings that you are genuinely related to our late customer Mr John Curtis Murray by the Security Document Dept (SDD) of this bank. Be informed that as soon as this informations reaches us, approvals of payment will be issued in your name as the original beneficiary of this deposit prior your instruction of payment can be attended to. Working towards improving our clientele services! Faithfully, Mr Koffi Protocol Officer, Ecobank, Lome, Togo From: Gilbert Murray To: Jean Koffi Subject: What information do you need from me? Sent: Tue, 23 May 2006 16:48:33 Dear Mr Koffi, Thank you for your email. I did not realise that you were still waiting for some information from me. Please advise me by return what information it is that you require and I will send it on to you by return. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Zeng Sezier To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Re: I am surprised to hear that you can't afford a few drugs Sent: Tue, 23 May 2006 13:02:17 -0700 (PDT) Dear Mr Murray, I am in receipt of ur mail. Thanx for ur surprise. Listen, my position as a lawyer or my involvement into this very matter does not make me a rich man OK. I am only trying to make ends meet here that's why I never wanted to lose track with the ongoing negotiation as u can see. Imagine the part of the world I came from and the salary of an individual of an average Togolaise. Take ur time and make studies concerning the economy of this small country called Togo for u to see for urself. I am just opportune, despite a schoolmate who is a marketing manager where my late works I wouldn't have been opportune to even come across this very deal. I was his introduction to my late client that necessitated my closeness with late Mr John Murray and his family. What do u think I got from him in spite of my position as a lawyer? Well, I wouldn't go far from here. I have taken my faith by my humble self and I wouldn't ask of any assistance apart from our ongoing negotiation. I don't really know what ur views are as against my request for assistance, do u think I was kidding to tell about my family problem? I will say again thank u and God bless u with ur views. How far have u gone with the bank though? Have they completed with the transfer process? It seems we are missing track in understanding ourselves as one can't even ask for an assistance from whom he is entrusting a very large fortune. I will try my best to see to my very problem since I am being ridiculed with questions. I am expecting hearing from you as soon as the transfer is done. Can't u send ur phone number since I have an access to call overseas through my in laws' phone since u can't call or find out things urself? Barr Zeng Sezier Click here to view the concluding part of this scambust. Copyright 2003-2024 www.gilbertmurray.co.uk. All rights reserved. Copyright notice |
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