Beaker's Story - New

Throughout his long and varied career, Gilbert Murray has had a faithful - and sometimes not so faithful - companion in Beaker. Beaker has been aiding and abetting Gilbert right from the start, when he first appeared as Gilbert the inventor's trusty, but disturbed assistant.

Over the years, Beaker has had a variety of jobs in and around Gypping in the Marsh, moving effortlessly from one to another and carrying out each new role to the best of his - admittedly somewhat limited - abilities.

Despite being hampered by an inability to express himself very well, and a unique combination of body odour and bad breath that could fell a horse at 10 paces, Beaker has always done his best to help Gilbert... when he's not attempting to kill him or steal his wife, and when he's not been distracted by an attractive woman or a cage full of typewriting monkeys, that is.

Now, for the first time, the chronicles in which Beaker plays a part have been collected together in one place. Use the links below to explore the highs and lows - or perhaps just the lows - of Beaker's story.

The Inventor

Whether he's busy wooing a bogus lawyer's daughter with self-penned poetry, poisoning a pair of police inspectors with cooked dog laced with rat poison, or escaping justice with Gilbert by flying to Nigeria in a revolutionary self-powered aeroplane, Beaker plays a key role in this chronicle of unrequited love, electrocuted dogs and truly execrable poetry.

The Inventor II

Having returned from Nigeria with three monkeys in tow, Beaker begins his quest to discover whether, given an infinite amount of time and an infinite number of monkeys, one of them will eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare. But when one of Beaker's monkeys falls into the invisible paint that Gilbert is inventing, chaos ensues.

The Inventor III

A new romantic interest arrives in Beaker's life in the form of an immensely rich African orphan. But when Beaker discovers that Gilbert is planning to murder his sweetheart to get his hands on her fortune, relations between the two men go downhill fast, with tragic consequences. This rollicking tale involves a more terrible poetry, repeatedly soiled bedding, and some very surprised-looking chickens.

The Inventor IV

Having just arrived from the Human Cloning Department of Cleethorpes University, Gilbert's newly-cloned assistant, Beaker, attempts to help Gilbert syphon money out of a dead person's bank account. How will Beaker cope when Gilbert sends him all the way to Nigeria with a briefcase full of money to meet the scammers? All does not go according to plan... according to the scammers' plan, that is.

The Vicar V

With the old verger of Saint Bodkin's church away serving a seven year stretch polishing the silverware at Pentonville chapel, Reverend Murray, in need of a new verger, engages Beaker's services. But when Beaker uncovers some dubious pictures of children that have been left behind by the old verger, confusion reigns, and Beaker discovers that Reverend Murray punishes supposed transgressors extremely harshly...

The Aristocrat II

Having tired of being punished severely for every minor transgression, Beaker gives up his job as verger at the church and takes on a new role as Lord Murray's butler. After accidentally shooting Lord Murray in the backside, Beaker discovers that Lord Murray has been having a dalliance with the sultry Lady Anne Detrampe, and falls in love with Lady Murray. Will her ladyship fall for Beaker in return... or will his appallingly bad breath put her off?

The MP's Personal Assistant

Having managed to put past scandals behind him, Gilbert Murray regains his Gypping in the Marsh parliamentary seat and writes a Westminster blog about his experience as a Deform UK MP. Who should he choose to take on as his personal assistant? Thanks to a dearth of alternative candidates, Beaker gets the job.

With a heady mix of Russian intrigue, jealous girlfriends, typwriting monkeys, arcane religious festivals, ruined mattresses - and a feather duster that ends up where it really doesn't belong - read on to find out how Beaker helps and hinders Gilbert as he struggles to serve his constituents.

The Lottery Winner II

After an absence of 18 years, Gilbert Murray is fortunate enough to win millions of dollars in a lottery that he never even entered... and for the second time, believe it or not! Life is full of such pleasant surprises. Although Gilbert's wife doesn't seem quite so pleased; she would rather have won a bottle of liebfraumilch in a raffia basket in the church raffle...

When Gilbert's buboes prevent him from claiming his winnings, will his carer, Beaker, be able to complete the process?

The Anchorite - New

Gilbert Murray, a modern-day anchorite with serious digestive issues at Saint Bodkin's church, Gypping in the Marsh, is contacted by a banker from Burkina Faso who is looking for someone to share millions of dollars that belonged to a deceased client. With Gilbert walled up inside his anchorhold, repeatedly dreaming of toilets and soiling his hairshirt, will his helper, Beaker, be able to provide the banker with the assistance he is seeking, or will Beaker's pet monkeys prove to be too much of a distraction?