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The Gypping in the Marsh Village Website Gypping in the Marsh in Times Past
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Home - The Chronicles - The Orphanage Director III The Orphanage Director III - NewIn which Gilbert is contacted by a dying woman who wishes to donate a large amount of money to British orphanages. It's been over 20 years since Gilbert last attempted to raise funds for Saint Bunty's with the help of a dubious donation from abroad, and the state of the orphanage's finances have not improved in the meantime. Given that Gilbert's recent investments in cryptocurrency haven't quite worked out as he would have hoped, Mrs Brown's offer has come at exactly the right time to prevent the poor little orphans of Saint Bunty's from starving. Cast of characters
From: Donna Brown To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Dear friend, smile. You are favored Sent: Tue, 03 Feb 2026 06:18 Dear friend, smile. You are favored. My name is Mrs Donna Brown. I was directed to you by the spirit of the Lord in my dreams. I believe you are the only honest and trusted person who can handle my charity donation funds, to help the orphanages in your home country, which will benefit you and the poor people in your city. Please get back to me once you receive this message for more details. Lord bless. Mrs Donna Brown From: Gilbert Murray To: Donna Brown Subject: Regarding your generous email Sent: Wed, 04 Mar 2026 16:24 Dear Mrs Brown, I have just read the email that you sent me in February. I must apologise for the delay in replying to you: for some reason, your email was delivered into my 'Spam' folder rather than into my Inbox - I cannot think why - and I have only just come across it and read it. I must say, I don't know how you came across my personal contact details, but your email has certainly arrived at a most opportune moment. As you must know, I am Financial Director of Saint Bunty's Home for Parentally-Challenged Children in Lincolnshire, and we at the orphanage are always delighted to accept donations from generous individuals such as yourself. And I don't mind telling you that the orphanage could certainly use a boost to its funds right now. Forgive me, but you did not provide many details in your email. How much money are you considering donating to the orphanage? Whereabouts are you based? What has prompted you to make a donation to Saint Bunty's? Is there perhaps a family connection? Saint Bunty's has a long and storied history. Was someone in your family perhaps under our charge at some point in the past? I would be fascinated to know. Once again, apologies for the delay in responding to your email. I look forward to hearing back from you. If you send me more details, I can send you a donation form by return for you to complete. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Donna Brown To: Gilbert Murray Subject: My dearest friend Gilbert Murray Sent: Mon, 09 Mar 2026 15:56 My dearest friend Gilbert Murray, thanks for your quick response to my message. I am so grateful. Meanwhile, I am very sorry for getting back to you late, it was due to my present health condition in the hospital now, as I have not been able to face my computer for a while. I know how you might feel about this message, but I want you to remember that everything is possible with the Lord as he alone knows why he chooses you as the rightful person to have my fund for this very orphanage project. Please I need you to do me a little favor, just keep this very business to yourself alone for security reasons. Please, do not disclose this to anybody around you, being your CHILDREN, FAMILY MEMBERS or even your best FRIENDS about this fund, until you receive the money in your position, because sometimes people you trust so much can turn around to be the devil or enemy behind your success in life. I instructed my personal doctor, Donald Bouma to email you on my behalf due to my illness at the moment, because right now, I can hardly face my computer nor answer telephone calls. I want you to know that it is the spirit of the Lord in me that directed me to choose you as the only beneficiary of the funds I have left in my account, for you to help the poor orphans in your home country. I also want you to believe and understand with all your whole heart that this is real and has nothing to do with online scam, because I do not want anything from you in return except your prayers and trust. My name is Mrs Donna Brown; I'm an 82 years old woman. I was a merchant and owned two businesses in Dubai. I was also married without children. Upon that I found out that I have breast cancer. My husband contracted a strange illness, when he discovered that I have blood cancer which took his life. And ever since I got this strange illness of mine, I strongly devoted my life to god and I have been using my funds to support charity organizations around the world, and some individuals that the spirit of god leads me to. Please note that the total amount that I am willing to you is $12,500,000.00 USD and 60% of the money must go to the charity organizations orphanages in your city, while the remaining 40% of the money is for you to support your own family financially, as directed by the spirit of god in me. This is god's blessing to you and myself too, listen, before I got this strange illness, making money and my business was all I cared about, I never really cared about other values in life. But since the death of my lovely husband and the arrival of this strange illness, I have found a new desire to assist helpless families and motherless homes around the world. Presently, I am in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment, and my last wish is to see that the remaining $12,500,000.00 USD left in my name is willed to a god-fearing person before I die which happens to be you. Because family, relatives and friends have taken so much of my wealth since my illness, and I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them again. Remember, I willed this money to you with all my heart, and I believe it is the will of god for me to meet you in good faith. Please I want you to be praying for me because my health is getting worse every day, but keep on praying for me, I believe there is nothing lord cannot do. I have remitted the total $12.5 million dollars into an ATM MASTER CARD, sealed inside an envelope which I deposited in Colonial Express Delivery Company, and I have already instructed the company management to have the ENVELOPE delivered to you as my beneficiary. Please, all I want is for you to start up a good orphanage home for the less privileged in your country immediately you receive the ATM CARD and use it to withdraw money, as that is the only thing that will please my spirit and soul. Do get back to me immediately you receive this message, for more information on how to claim the ATM CARD sealed ENVELOPE in Colonial Express Delivery company, for the orphanage charity project. More importantly, please keep this transaction very secret to yourself alone for security reasons, until you receive the ATM CARD in your disposal, because I don't want any other person to be aware of this very business except you and Colonial Express Delivery management for security reasons. I need you to send me the below information so that I will mail it to the delivering company, for self-keeping, and proper identification of you.
Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you soon. You are blessed. Mrs Donna Brown From: Gilbert Murray To: Donna Brown Subject: I am stunned by your generosity Sent: Tue, 10 Mar 2026 16:36 Dear Mrs Brown, Thank you for getting back to me. Firstly, please accept my condolences for the desperately sad situation in which you find yourself: I cannot imagine quite how awful it must have been for you, not only to have been diagnosed with cancer, but also to have had your husband take his own life. You have my deepest sympathy. I must say, I am stunned by your generosity: I can barely believe that you are willing to donate twelve and a half million dollars to charity - and, what is more, to this particular charity. Mrs Brown, you have no idea how much good this money will do for the poor, pathetic orphans that we care for here. As Financial Director of Saint Bunty's, I do not mind telling you that the orphanage's finances are in dire straits right now. Firstly, we suffered greatly when the ex-Duke of York recently stood down as one of our patrons. When he left, a number of extremely generous donors with connections to the ex-Duke - all well-connected, well-off gentlemen, who used to take great pleasure in visiting the orphanage and staying overnight in our guest accommodation on a regular basis - unfortunately left with him. Following that, I did my best to boost our finances by investing the orphanage's funds in something called "cryptocurrency". I do not know if you are aware of such a thing, my dear lady, but I would not recommend it. After a most promising start, things went very wrong, very quickly, and I ended up losing everything. I would have been better off investing the orphanage's money on the favourite in the 4:15 at Newmarket, an investment vehicle that I have used - with somewhat mixed results - in the past. Anyway, back to your more than generous offer. You say that you have loaded the money that you wish to donate onto a Mastercard. This is not a method of donation that I have come across before, but I am sure that we will be able to work things out. Kindly post the Mastercard to me at the following address, together with the PIN and any other necessary instructions on how to withdraw the money from the card, and we will take it from there: Gilbert Murray I note your request that I keep this matter strictly to myself. You need not concern yourself on that matter, my dear lady; we keep details of all donations to the orphanage strictly confidential, unless donors specifically request that details of their largesse are made public. If you wish to remain as an anonymous donor, that is perfectly fine by me. Sending my very best wishes to you in your hospital bed. Hang on in there - at the very least, until you have managed to pop that Mastercard in the post to me. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Donna Brown To: Gilbert Murray Subject: My beloved friend Gilbert Murray Sent: Wed, 11 Mar 2026 12:13 My beloved friend Gilbert Murray, thanks for your understanding. Please, my good friend, at the moment I can hardly face the computer to attend to messages from people, due to my health condition. So my personal doctor Mr Donald Bouma, will be responding to you on my behalf until I recover fully from this sickness. Anyways, I am so happy to receive your quick response to my earlier message to you, and I thank you once again for your willingness to help me carry on my last wishes, which is to help the homeless orphanages, and less privileges in your home city. I really appreciate your kind understanding on this matter. My trusted friend, it will interest you to know that i am a dedicated Christian, and I love working in the house of god, because I have asked myself this very question, what shall it profit me to gain all the money and properties on this earth, and lose my precious soul to devil, absolutely nothing, because everything we have here on EARTH is vanity upon vanity. So I think what every human being should do is to arrange his or her ways to be at peace with god, which is the main reason I have been doing all I can to make sure I make peace with god now that I am still alive, by using the last money I have in my position to help the poor homeless orphanages through you, as I was instructed in my dream by the spirit of god in me. Like I have explained to you on my last message, the $12.5 million dollars which I willed to you has been transferred into an ATM MASTER CARD in a sealed envelope, which I registered with Colonial Express Delivery Company for safe keeping, and I have also instructed the company management to immediate make an arrangement to deliver the ATM CARD envelope to your house address without delay, for you to start up the charity project as I was instructed by the spirit of god in me. Please remember Colonial Express Delivery management does not know what is inside the ENVELOPE I deposited in their office, because I did not allow them to know what was inside the envelope for security reasons. So you must not let them know there is an ATM CARD inside the sealed envelope, just email the company for your claim only. Please, keep the below information highly confidential to yourself only. Company Envelope Registration Number: CED1008 ATM Card Activation Code (DB9090) ATM Card Pin Code (8282) Use below information to contact the company immediately and make a demand for my envelope with them which I registered in your name as the beneficiary. Company Name: Colonial Express Delivery Official Email: (colonialexpressdelivery@gmail.com) Personal Email: (Mr.stpatrick@hotmail.com) Admin Director: Mr St Patrick Thank you once again for your effort and understanding, I am so grateful and I pray that my god will continue to bless you and your lovely family. Thank you, remain blessed. Mrs Donna Brown From: Gilbert Murray To: Dr Donald Bouma Subject: I shall contact the delivery company immediately Sent: Wed, 11 Mar 2026 16:21 Dear Dr Bouma, I assume from what Mrs Brown has said that you are monitoring her email account at the moment, as she appears to be too far gone to write emails herself. I would be grateful if you could pass on this message from me to the dear lady:
Now Dr Bouma, here is a message for you personally. Please, please, do whatever you can to keep Mrs Brown with us for as long as possible - at the very least until we have concluded this business. I presume she has told you about her wish to donate her vast fortune to my orphanage before she dies. The last thing we want is for her to shuffle off this mortal coil before her money is safe in the coffers of Saint Bunty's. The fate of a large number of poor little orphans rests in your no-doubt capable hands, Dr Bouma. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Mr St Patrick Cc: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Regarding an envelope that has been left in your care Sent: Wed, 11 Mar 2026 16:36 Dear Mr St Patrick, I am writing to you concerning an envelope that I gather has been left in your safekeeping by my dear friend Mrs Donna Brown. The envelope contains a Mastercard onto which $12.5 million dollars has been loaded. Here are the details of the envelope: Company Envelope Registration Number: CED1008 Could you please arrange for the envelope to be delivered to me at the following address as quickly as possible: Gilbert Murray Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: For the Kind Attention of Gilbert Murray Sent: Wed, 11 Mar 2026 20:57 Dear Sir/Madam, We, the Management of Colonial Express Delivery Company Istanbul Turkey, hereby acknowledge receipt of your email regarding an envelope package deposited with our company by our esteemed customer, Mrs Donna Brown. Mrs Donna Brown is a well-known merchant with business engagements in India, Dubai and China, and she is a citizen of the United States of America. We confirm that an ENVELOPE registered in your name, with Company Registration Number: CED1008, is currently in our custody and scheduled for delivery to your designated country house address. Furthermore, following the verification of your claim, we are pleased to inform you that our honorable delivery company is fully ready and equipped to render our services to your satisfaction, provided all company rules and regulations are duly observed by you. However, to enable us to expedite processing and ensure immediate delivery of your envelope package, you are kindly requested to reconfirm the details listed below for official verification and identity confirmation. This is necessary to cross-check the authenticity of your information with the records provided by the depositor, Mrs Donna Brown. Please reconfirm the following:
Once we receive the above information and it corresponds with the records in our possession, our assigned delivery agent will proceed immediately with the delivery to your designated address without delay. You may also contact our 24/7 Emergency Customer Service via WhatsApp using the number provided below or above for live assistance. We look forward to your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Management Colonial Express Delivery Company From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Cc: Mr St Patrick Subject: Regarding package CED1008 Sent: Thu, 12 Mar 2026 12:39 Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your prompt response regarding package CED1008, which you are currently holding on behalf of Mrs Donna Brown. You requested that I confirm my personal details. My full name is Gilbert Arnold Murray. My date of birth is 27th June 1952. My contact address - I will give you my business address, as this is the address to which I would like the package to be delivered - is Saint Bunty's Home for Parentally-Challenged Children, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, United Kingdom. I am the Financial Director of Saint Bunty's. You may not be aware, but we do not have such a thing as identity cards in the United Kingdom, so I am unable to provide you with a copy of one. However, I do have a UK driving licence, and we often use these to prove our identity in this country in lieu of a full identity card. My driving licence number is MURRA506279GA8KY. I regret that I am unable to provide you with a telephone number. My own telephone line, and that of Saint Bunty's, were sadly disconnected last month following an unfortunate disagreement with the telephone company over the non-payment of some recent bills. On top of this, I do not have a mobile telephone. Nobody in the village has a mobile telephone, as there is no mobile coverage in this area. We did used to have a mobile signal here, but it failed about a year and a half ago and the mobile telephone companies have been unable to restore it. We in the village think that the local airbase, RAF Felchingham, probably has something to do with it. Nobody knows exactly what goes on in there, but five strange-looking metal towers were erected on the base, just inside the perimeter fence, right before the mobile signal failed, and we are sure that whatever those towers are doing - there is a most alarming humming noise coming from them, which is audible from a quarter of a mile away - they are disrupting the mobile signal in the local area. We have raised the matter with our local Member of Parliament, but so far he seems to have made no progress. By all accounts, he has his own issues to deal with at the moment. It is all most frustrating. But I digress. I trust that this will not be an impediment to the swift conclusion of this business. As soon as you have carried out any necessary checks, kindly post the envelope to me at the address I have given you without delay. I look forward to receiving it. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention: Gilbert Arnold Murray Sent: Fri, 13 Mar 2026 12:57 Attention: Gilbert Arnold Murray, The Management of Colonial Express Delivery Company hereby acknowledges receipt of your email once again. Following the general meeting held today, Friday, 13th March 2026, the Colonial Express Internal Board of Trustees (CEIBT) wishes to formally inform you that all necessary arrangements have been concluded for the immediate delivery of your sealed envelope to your designated residential address at: Saint Bunty's Home for Parentally-Challenged Children, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, United Kingdom. We assure you that you will not regret working with the Colonial authorities in this ongoing delivery process, provided that you strictly adhere to the rules and regulations of the company. Please be informed that the delivery cost, tax clearance duty, and customs clearance charges for this sealed envelope have already been paid in full by our customer, Mrs Donna Brown, at the time of registration of the envelope in our office one month ago. However, the only outstanding fees required from you at this time are the Non-Inspection Security Charge (NISC) and the Demurrage Storage Keeping Cost. These charges must be paid to the Management of this company before the delivery can be released from our office to your residential address today. The total amount payable is One Thousand Nine Hundred and Fifty pounds (£1,950.00) only. This amount is non-negotiable, and once payment is received from you today, the delivery of your sealed envelope will commence immediately. Kindly confirm your willingness to proceed with the payment so that we may provide you with instructions on how to make the payment without delay. Please note that, in accordance with company rules and regulations, the above payment must be made within seventy-two (72) hours for security reasons. Failure to comply within the stipulated time frame, will result in the package being confiscated by the government as unclaimed property. You are therefore strongly advised to ensure that payment is made before the expiration of this deadline. Thank you for your cooperation. We look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible regarding the required payment. Please remember that you may also contact our 24/7 emergency customer service via live chat on WhatsApp using the number provided below and above. Yours faithfully, Colonial Management Colonial Express Delivery Company From: Gilbert Murray To: Donna Brown Subject: The delivery company is demanding nearly two thousand pounds from me! Sent: Fri, 13 Mar 2026 14:17 Dear Mrs Brown, I have just received an email from the delivery company to which you entrusted your Mastercard. They are demanding nearly two thousand pounds from me before they will deliver the envelope to me! Two thousand pounds, Mrs Brown! That is a huge amount of money, especially given the parlous state of Saint Bunty's finances at the moment. Do you have any idea how much it costs to feed and clothe 72 poor little orphans, Mrs Brown? Like most things, gruel and rags do not come cheap these days, and the cost each week is astronomical! I do not have that kind of money hanging around personally. Granted, Saint Bunty's has an emergency fund, but I am having to dip into that each month purely to pay for routine costs at the orphanage, and I do not feel comfortable taking any money out of that fund to pay the delivery company. It would be highly irregular, and if the trustees of the orphanage were to find out that I had done so, I would have some serious questions to answer. I realise that you are at death's door, Mrs Brown, but do you think there is any way you could help me out here, by paying the delivery company the money they are demanding? I would very much appreciate your assistance. I am hoping to receive a positive response from you, Mrs Brown. 72 poor little orphans are depending on you. Do not let them down. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Dr Donald Bouma To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Dear friend Gilbert Murray Sent: Sat, 14 Mar 2026 17:03 Dear friend Gilbert Murray, My name is Dr Donald Bouma, the personal physician of Mrs Donna Brown. I regret to inform you that her health condition is currently very critical. At this moment, she is unable to communicate with anyone directly, as she is receiving oxygen support for breathing complications. Due to this situation, Mrs Brown has instructed me to contact you on her behalf. She strongly advises that you cooperate fully with the management of Colonial Express to ensure that her envelope is delivered to you without any delay. In response to your earlier inquiry, Mrs Donna Brown confirmed to me that she personally paid for the envelope delivery fee, customs clearance fee, and tax insurance duty charges. However, this additional fee of £1,950 which was required by Colonial Express, was not initially disclosed to her at the time she registered the envelope. As a result, this amount remains unpaid. Mrs Brown sincerely apologizes for this unexpected expense and humbly requests your understanding and cooperation by settling the £1,950, as this is the only outstanding issue preventing the immediate release and delivery of the envelope. As I mentioned above, her current medical condition is not encouraging. She has strictly instructed that the delivery of the ATM card must remain a highly confidential matter between you alone until the envelope is successfully handed over to you. She has also asked me to assure you that the management of Colonial Express will do everything within their authority to ensure the envelope is delivered to you exactly as she instructed at the time of registration. Kindly follow their guidance closely to avoid any complications. Mrs Brown further emphasized that 60% of the funds contained in the ATM card are intended to be used immediately to help poor and homeless orphans in your city, which is the primary reason she entrusted these funds to you, while the remaining 40% is meant for your personal and family financial support. Additionally, I must inform you of a recent laboratory test result which confirmed that Mrs Donna Brown's blood cancer has spread to both of her breasts. This condition requires urgent surgical intervention. Regrettably, based on my many years of medical experience, the surgery presents a life-or-death risk, and her chances of survival are very slim. Nevertheless, we continue to pray for her recovery, as she has been a compassionate and generous woman to the underprivileged throughout her life. Mrs Brown has already signed a life-and-death consent agreement with the hospital authorities, and the surgery is scheduled to commence today being Saturday, March 13th 2026, without further delay. Finally, Mrs Brown requested that you work closely with Mr St Patrick, her designated envelope manager and customer service representative at Colonial Express. Please follow his instructions carefully to avoid any mistakes during the delivery process. I strongly advise that you cooperate fully with the company to secure the envelope as soon as possible. Kindly view the attached images showing her current condition at the hospital. Remain blessed. Sincerely, Dr Donald Bouma Personal Physician to Mrs Donna Brown From: Gilbert Murray To: Dr Donald Bouma Subject: A proposition Sent: Mon, 16 Mar 2026 08:47 Dear Dr Bouma, I was devastated when I read about the serious deterioration in Mrs Brown's condition. Tell me, my good man, how did her operation go on Saturday? I can only hope that it has improved matters to a degree? Please pass on my sincere best wishes to the dear lady - provided she is in a fit state to receive them and that the operation has not left her a senseless, drooling wreck, or even worse. Dr Bouma, may I be frank with you? I do not know how exactly how much Mrs Brown has told you about the business we are conducting, but it seems as if you are aware of the basic facts of the matter. Essentially, Mrs Brown wishes to make a large donation to my orphanage, but unfortunately she has entrusted the Mastercard onto which the money has been loaded into the care of a delivery company that is demanding astronomically high fees in order to release the delivery. I cannot for the life of me work out why Mrs Brown decided to use such a company; I can only assume that her illness had affected her mental capacity in some form when she made the decision. The company is currently demanding £1,950 from me. Without going into too much detail, a series of unfortunate investments mean that I am not currently in a position to pay this money, unless I dip into the orphanage's emergency fund. I am loathe to do this: the orphanage's trustees would take a very dim view of it were they to find out that I had done so. Quite apart from that, I need the money in the emergency fund to pay our suppliers for next month's gruel delivery. The finances of Saint Bunty's are in a critical state. I have already had to cut the orphans' gruel rations down to the bone, and turn off the hot water and central heating - the cost of heating oil has risen to an unsustainable level in the past fortnight. This is already having an impact on our poor little orphans: Matron is currently dealing with seven cases of scurvy in the Savile Infirmary Wing, and she has warned me that more cases are probably on the way. On top of this, scabies and rickets are on the rise amongst our poor little charges. Things here are as bad as I have ever seen them. I have a proposition to put to you, Dr Bouma. You are a personal physician. You must be a man of some means. Would you be able to pay the delivery company's fee of £1,950 for me? If you would be so kind as to agree to do so, then once Mrs Brown's money has been delivered to me, I am prepared to pay you the sum of £10,000, which would more than compensate you for the inconvenience. Will you help us, Dr Bouma? I do hope so. The poor little orphans of Saint Bunty's would be eternally grateful to you, and so would I. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Dr Donald Bouma Subject: An even better offer Sent: Thu, 19 Mar 2026 08:317 Dear Dr Bouma, I am concerned not to have heard back from you in response to the email I sent you on Monday. What is Mrs Brown's current condition? I am deeply worried about the dear lady. Is she still with us, or has she moved on to a new career in pushing up daisies? I am also concerned that you have not responded to the proposition I put to you regarding the fees that the delivery company are demanding from me. On Monday, wrote that I was prepared to pay you the sum of £10,000 if you would pay the delivery company's fees. That offer was clearly not generous enough, so let me double it, Dr Bouma: if you would be willing to pay the delivery company's fee for me, I am willing to pay you £20,000 as soon as Mrs Brown's money has been delivered to me. Is that enough to whet your appetite? Just think of the number of scalpels you could buy with that kind of money. Please get back to me by return, Dr Bouma. I am awaiting your response. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention Gilbert Murray Sent: Thu, 19 Mar 2026 13:00 Attention Gilbert Murray, Mr Gilbert, this is to inform you that my office has received sad news today from Dr Donald Bouma, who is the personal doctor to Mrs Donna Brown, concerning her death. According to the doctor, she had a major cancer surgery which later led to her death yesterday being Wednesday 18th of March 2026. However, based on this development, the colonial management have decided to commence with the handover of your sealed envelope to the government tomorrow being Friday 20th of March 2026, since you are not ready to comply with the needed fee of £1,950. Remember once this envelope is handed over to the government by tomorrow as unclaimed property, there is nothing neither my office nor you can do again to reclaim the envelope content back from the government. You have only today to claim this envelope or you shall lose it to the government forever. Thanks for your understanding. Signed Colonial Management From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Regarding package CED1008 Sent: Thu, 19 Mar 2026 14:28 Dear Sir/Madam, Woah! Wait just a minute there! I never said that I was not ready to comply with the needed fee of £1,950. On the contrary, I have been hard at work trying to come up with a way of paying you your fee. I have been attempting to come to an agreement with Dr Bouma, but I am sorry to say that he has let me down terribly. I am sad to say that I have been left with very little respect for the man: first of all he kills his patient, and then he refuses to help carry out her dying wish - to donate her money to my orphanage. He should be ashamed of himself if you ask me. But I digress. DO NOT, whatever you do, hand this envelope over to the government. It is not "unclaimed property"; it is my property, gifted me by the late, lamented philanthropist Mrs Brown. I am a very busy man, with an orphanage to run. I just need a little more time to come up with the fee you are demanding. Could I please request that you grant me another week to come up with the money you are asking for? I have some very difficult decisions to make. I repeat: DO NOT hand this envelope over to the government. I am going to take a good look at the orphanage's finances, to see if I can come up with the money to pay your fee myself. Regards, Gilbert Murray From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention once again Mr Gilbert Murray Sent: Thu, 19 Mar 2026 16:04 Attention once again Mr Gilbert Murray. I am very sorry, because your request for an extra one week extension from the colonial management cannot be granted to you for security reasons. The rightful owner of this sealed envelope is dead, and it is against the rules of this company to keep any package belonging to a dead customer in our custody for more than 48 hours. You have from now to 12 noon tomorrow Friday Turkey time to pay the £1,950 to claim your envelope or we shall hand it over to the government as an unclaimed package at 1:30pm Turkey time tomorrow unfailingly. Get back to me once you are ready to make payment, so that I will provide you account details. Signed Colonial Management From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Regarding package CED1008 Sent: Thu, 19 Mar 2026 16:22 Dear Sir/Madam I must say, I am most displeased by your lack of flexibility. This business is causing me no small amount of stress. Anway, you will be pleased to hear that I have found a way to pay the fee that you are requesting for the delivery of package CED1008. After much careful deliberation, I have decided to withdraw the money to pay your fee - a sum of £1,950 - from the emergency fund of the orphanage that I run. If I may be frank with you, what I am doing here is most irregular. The money in the emergency fund is meant to pay for unexpected costs that crop up from time to time, for example, boiler repairs or repairs to the roof. It is expressly not to be used to pay for everyday expenses such as food, drink, crutches and coffins... or for paying fees such as yours. If the trustees of Saint Bunty's were to discover that I had removed money from the emergency fund to pay your fee, I would be in serious trouble. For this reason, before I remove any money from the orphanage's emergency fund, I need your absolute assurance that Mrs Brown's envelope will be delivered to me before the end of the month. This would allow me to top up the emergency fund before the next trustees's meeting at the start of April. Provided you can give me this assurance, I will make arrangements to transfer your fee to you without any further delay. I must go: a local farmer is due here to take a look at the poor little orphans, with a view to selecting the strongest and fittest of them to go and work in his fields. I got chatting to him in the village betting shop yesterday afternoon while we were waiting for the 3:30 at Cheltenham to get underway. He told me that the heavy ground needs to be broken up for the planting of spring crops, but his tractor is out of action right now. I thought that hiring out some of the orphans to work on the land would be an excellent way of raising money for the orphanage. Noel only knows that we need to raise some money somehow. Anyway, get back to me as soon as you can with the assurance I have requested, and with information on how to transfer your fee to you (a bank transfer would be preferable from my point of view), then we can get things moving. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I don't suppose you would be interested in making a donation to the orphanage? We are desperately short of cash right now, and every little helps. Please let me know if you would like to make a donation, and I will send you a donation form by return for you to complete. From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention Gilbert Murray Sent: Thu, 19 Mar 2026 18:46 Attention Gilbert Murray, thanks for your cooperation and understanding in this matter. Meanwhile, I will assure you 100% that immediately you send the needed £1,950 today, the delivery of your sealed envelope shall commence tomorrow being Friday, and your sealed envelope shall be delivered to your doorstep within three working days unfailingly. However, to facilitate this delivery process, we have decided to receive the fee from you through our office legal representative over there in the United Kingdom to avoid delay. Kindly forward the £1,950 to the below HSBC account and send me a transfer receipt as confirmation of your payment. Bank Name : HSBC BANK Account Name : xxxxx xxxxx Jiwueze Account Number : 244xxxxx Sort Code : 40-35-xx Amount: £1,950 Thank you once again for your understanding, I wait to receive the payment receipt from you. Signed Colonial Management From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Regarding package CED1008 Sent: Fri, 20 Mar 2026 08:13 Dear Sir/Madam Thank you for sending me details of your legal representative's bank account. I am going to drive into town first thing this morning to transfer the money across. I will get back to you. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Regarding package CED1008 - here is the transfer receipt Sent: Fri, 20 Mar 2026 12:06 Dear Sir/Madam I have just returned from town, where I transferred your fee to your legal representative, using the bank account details you provided me with. I have attached the transfer receipt to this email. Now that I have transferred the fee to you, could I please ask you to make arrangements for my consignment to be delivered to me without any further delay? As I mentioned yesterday, I have been forced to withdraw money from the orphanage's emergency fund in order to make this transfer, and I need to replace the money into the fund as soon as possible. I need to have received my consignment in order to be able to do that. Kindly get back to me be return with information on when I can expect the package to be delivered. Do you think it would be possible to have it delivered one day next week? That would be ideal for me. If you are able to give me a specific date, I will make sure that I am available to accept the delivery. Best regards, Gilbert Murray  From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention Gilbert Murray Sent: Fri, 20 Mar 2026 12:34 Attention Gilbert Murray, your message has been received by the colonial management. Meanwhile, which bank did you transfer the money from? What is the name of your bank, because our representative in United Kingdom has not yet received the money in his account and according to him there is no bank with the name Lindsey Merchant Bank in United Kingdom. Please kindly confirm to this office how you sent the £1,950 and also confirm the name of the payment method. Signed Management From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Regarding package CED1008 Sent: Fri, 20 Mar 2026 14:28 Dear Sir/Madam Firstly, before I go any further, could you please let me know the name of the person I am interacting with? The emails I have received from you are all just signed "Management" or "Colonial Management". It would be nice to know who I am actually dealing with here. Secondly, I do not wish to be rude, but it sounds as if your British legal representative doesn't know what he is talking about. Lindsey Merchant Bank is a small but long-established financial institution here in the UK. I think they were founded at some point in the 1800s, if not even earlier. What may be confusing your legal representative is that they are not a bank that services just anyone, like Barclays or HSBC; rather, they provide specialist, confidential banking services for individuals with a high net worth, and for institutions such as Saint Bunty's. What is more, they do not advertise their services; most of their customers have been with them for a very long time indeed, and they only accept new customers who have been directed towards them via word-of-mouth, and even then, only after intensive personal interviews. Looking back at the orphanage's records, Saint Bunty's has entrusted Lindsey Merchant Bank with its financial affairs since 1904, and we have never had cause to find fault with them. This may help to explain why your legal representative has never heard of them. I would be surprised if he had heard of them, to be perfectly honest. Thirdly (and once more, I do not wish to be rude), can I suggest that your legal representative take a closer look at the transfer receipt I sent you? It clearly states that "transfers may take up to 3 working days to reflect in the payee's bank account". Lindsey Merchant Bank's internal processes may not quite have caught up with the 21st century, and their transactions may take a little longer than those made via one of the lesser banks; but trust me when I say that the extra time that they take is worth its weight in gold: their integrity is unimpeachable. Now we have got that sorted out, I would appreciate it if you would kindly let me know when I can expect to have my consignment delivered to me. Get back to me by return. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention Mr Gilbert Murray Sent: Fri, 20 Mar 2026 18:51 Attention Mr Gilbert Murray, well your message to this office is well received with the content well understood. Like you requested my name is Mr St Patrick, and I am the customers service representative of colonial management. However, I am sorry to inform you that the delivery of your sealed envelope cannot commence until our representative confirms the payment of £1,950 in his account. And note, the colonial management can only wait for the payment for three working days as the payment receipt stated which is between today and Tuesday next week unfailingly. If after Tuesday the payment is not receive by our United Kingdom representative, we shall commence with the handover ceremony of your sealed envelope to the government first thing Wednesday morning unfailingly. Thanks for your cooperation on this matter. Signed Mr St Patrick From: Dr Donald Bouma To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Dear friend Gilbert Murray Sent: Sat, 21 Mar 2026 05:36 Dear friend Gilbert Murray, I write to inform you and also sympathize with you on the death of Mrs Donna Brown. Gilbert, I am writing you this sad message with tears in my eyes because of the death of my patient late Mrs Donna Brown, who was admitted in this hospital one months ago, but after she underwent a major breast cancer surgery, which took place on Saturday, March 13th successfully, but she died around 10:23 AM on Wednesday morning 18th of March 2026. Please I apologize for any inconveniences her death must have cost you emotionally or otherwise, and I want you to understand that everything that happened on this earth is for a purpose, so be strong and take care of the orphanage project she handed over to you. Secondly, there is an important message, which was the last word from Mrs Donna Brown, before she died, the message was for you to make sure her last wish which is to use her money to help homeless children and orphanages in your home city is carried out with 60% of the total money she willed to you, while the remaining 40% goes to you and your lovely family for financial support. One more thing, she continued saying you should trust and work together with her personal envelope manager Mr St Patrick, who is also a customer service representative at the Colonial Express Company, he is a good man that cannot do anything to cheat you or against the will of the lord. Please I may not have access to this email box to reply to your message again, because the owner is dead and it is against our hospital policy for a doctor to be accessing a private email of a dead patient. Please work with the shipping company and fulfill the last wish of this dead woman. I wish you good-luck. Yours Friend, Doctor Donald Bouma From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: What the blazes is going on here, Mr St Patrick? Sent: Mon, 23 Mar 2026 12:34 Mr St Patrick, I have just received the following email from the Fraud Prevention Department of Lindsey Merchant Bank:
What a carry on! What the blazes is going on here, Mr St Patrick? Why on earth did you ask me to transfer money to someone who is under active investigation for fraudulent, criminal activities? Did you have any idea what your so-called 'legal representative' has been getting up to? I am aghast, Mr St Patrick. Aghast. By the sound of it, if my bank hadn't been quite so on the ball, I could have lost my money to a gang of fraudsters! What the hell are you doing, employing someone like that in your organisation and entrusting them with large amounts of money? Explain yourself, Mr St Patrick! Hopefully you too are aghast! As if this were not enough to deal with, the farmer who hired out some of our poor little orphans last week to help out on his farm is waiting outside my office to see me. My secretary tells me that he is not at all happy with their work. Apparently one of them passed out from exhaustion this morning and fell into an industrial wood-chipper, which left both the machine and the farmyard in a bit of a state. He now not only expects me to send round some orphans to clean up the mess, but he is also expecting me to compensate him financially for the ruined batch of woodchip. It never rains but it pours. But enough of my other worries. Get back to me at once with an explanation of what exactly is going on here with your criminal 'legal representative'. Perhaps you could also come up with an alternative way of me getting your fee to you. And one that doesn't involve me transferring money to a fraudster. I am waiting. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Get back to me with an update, for Noel's sake Sent: Tue, 24 Mar 2026 10:37 Mr St Patrick, I am extremely disappointed that you have not got back to me with a response to the email I sent to you yesterday. What on earth is going on at your end? I can only assume that you were as shocked as I was to discover that your so-called 'legal representative' is actually a despicable criminal. If I were you, I would sack the man immediately: the reputational damage this could cause to your organisation could be huge. I mean, if this were to come out, nobody in their right mind would be wanting to entrust their valuables with your organisation ever again. I am already wondering what possessed the late, lamented Mrs Brown to place the package that she wishes to be delivered to me into your care. I can only assume that the severity of her illness had affected her mental capacities. But whatever the scale of the problems at your organisation, I must ask you to put them to one side, Mr St Patrick. There is work to be done. Specifically, you need to deliver my package to me. And I must say, I am growing sick and tired of these delays at your end. Get back to me with an update, for Noel's sake. I am waiting. Gilbert Murray From: Colonial Express Delivery Company To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention Mr Gilbert Murray Sent: Tue, 24 Mar 2026 13:02 Attention Mr Gilbert Murray, There is nothing more I can do. The handover ceremony of your sealed envelope to the government has already been scheduled to commence tomorrow Wednesday 10am Turkey time. I suggest you forget about this sealed envelope the time is already late. Thanks, Mr St Patrick From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: You can't do that, damn you Sent: Tue, 24 Mar 2026 13:48 Mr St Patrick, I am speechless. Well, nearly speechless. This would be a very brief email indeed if I were completely speechless. You can't simply hand my sealed envelope to the Turkish government when none of this ridiculous runaround has been my fault! It's not my fault that your so-called 'legal representative' turned out to be as crooked as a dog's hind leg. It's not my fault that my bank thankfully discovered the man's links to fraudsters and cancelled the transfer of money to him. It's not my fault that your organisation employed this man in the first place seemingly without carrying out adequate background checks. Where did you find him? Rooting through dustbins for scraps of food and cigarette ends in a filthy back alley, is my guess. None of this is my fault, Mr St Patrick. It is your fault. And what gives you the legal right to hand over this envelope - my envelope, left to me by the saintly Mrs Brown - to the Turkish government? That envelope is my property, Noel damn you. It is not up to you to decide what to do with it. By not attempting to deliver that envelope to me, you are not only denying the last request of the dead philanthropist Mrs Brown, you are personally condemning 72 poor little orphans - well, 71 now, after that little accident yesterday morning - to a life of squalor, cold, hunger, disease and poverty. That money was meant to lift up the poor little orphans to a life of slightly less squalor, cold, hunger, disease and poverty. But now, thanks to your intransigence, these poor little orphans are having their life chances cut off at the knees - just like poor little orphan Annie, one of our charges who was a tad careless with a chainsaw whilst attempting to reduce the height of the poplars that line the driveway of Saint Bunty's last year. She ended up reducing her own height instead. It's a hard knock life. But I digress. You should be ashamed of yourself, Mr St Patrick. I have a good mind to get my lawyer, Welsby, of the legal firm Elton & Welsby, involved. He proved invaluable last year after an unfortunate incident involving a past-its-best batch of gruel and a malfunctioning refrigeration unit. Not only did Welsby manage to get all charges dropped, I am sure that he would also have been able to persuade the judge to award us costs against the bereaved families, had there actually been any bereaved families... which of course, with the victims being orphans, there were not. If I don't see a change in your attitude sharpish, I will see what Welsby has to say. That is my envelope, Mr St Patrick. MINE. And I want it. Either you start to make arrangements to deliver it to me, or I will get Welsby on your case. And trust me, Mr St Patrick, that is not a situation in which one would wish to place oneself. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Colonial Express Delivery Company Subject: Welsby tells me that you are a fraudster! Sent: Wed, 25 Mar 2026 15:07 Dear 'Mr St Patrick', I have been discussing this business with my lawyer, Welsby, and he has explained everything to me. He has explained that you are not who you say you are. You are not 'Mr St Patrick'. You do not work for a delivery company. There is no envelope containing a Mastercard that is due to be delivered to me. Your so-called 'legal representative' is a poor dupe whose bank account you are using as a 'mule' account to funnel money from your scam victims. Shame on you, 'Mr St Patrick'. Here am I, trying to raise enough money to keep Saint Bunty's Home for Parentally-Challenged Children from going bankrupt. Trying to ensure that 72 poor little orphans - sorry, that should be 71 now - have a roof above their heads, rags on their backs and gruel in their bowls rather than having to scratch a living on the streets. And all this time, you have been trying to defraud me and the orphanage of our precious funds. I can only be thankful that you have failed in your attempts. Shame on you. Have you ever thought of trying to get yourself a proper job, 'Mr St Patrick'? One that would make your mother proud of you, rather than one that brings shame upon your entire family as you attempt to steal the roof from above the heads of 72 - sorry, 71 - poor little orphans? As you attempt to steal the rags from their backs and the gruel from their bowls? Have you no sense of decency, sir? As it happens, Welsby has a considerable amount of experience in the area of advance fee fraud, going back more than two decades, and he tells me that he has a number of close contacts in Interpol who deal with internet fraud. I have forwarded your emails to Welsby so that he can pass them on to his contacts. Welsby says that they have cutting-edge technology that will enable them to track you down via your email and mobile telephone records. Apparently you can expect a knock on the door in the middle of the night in the not too distant future. I hope you like prison food. Shame on you. Gilbert Murray Copyright 2003-2026 www.gilbertmurray.co.uk. All rights reserved. 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