I am extremely disappointed not to have heard back from you with a reply to the email I sent to you yesterday. In that email I put a number of questions to you. Each of these questions requires an answer before we can move forward with this business.

I have told you on a number of occasions how keen I am to expedite this matter with as much speed as possible. Miss Kabba, my future adoptive daughter, is currently stuck in a dreadful refugee camp with no hope of escape without our assistance. I am extremely concerned for her welfare, and for that of her late father's fortune, and I am keen to ensure that neither comes to any harm.

If we are to get Miss Kabba out of this refugee camp, we need to take action, and we need to take it now. We are not going to achieve anything by sitting in our wicker chairs, twiddling our thumbs and fiddling with our paperclips.

If you are to act as my lawyer in this matter, I would ask you to start treating things with a touch more urgency. If I contact you with a query on a legal matter, I expect a prompt response from you. You could do with taking a leaf out of the eminent Welsby's book in that regard.

So sir, to business. Kindly stop ogling your new secretary and furnish me with answers to the questions I put to you yesterday. For your convenience, here are the questions again:

Please remind me what steps we need to take in order to free Miss Kabba from the refugee camp and to get our hands on her late father's money.
Please remind me precisely what the $2,920 covers.
Please advise me on what steps I will need to take in order to adopt Miss Kabba as my daughter.

I would be obliged if you could respond to my queries at once. I am not used to being delayed in this manner when important matters such as the welfare of a young lady are at stake.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Sorry for the delay

Sent: Thu, 06 Jan 2005 08:19:47 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

Sorry for the little delay in responding to your mail. It is due to urgent matters that require urgent attention here in the camp. Below is the first explanation I sent to you the initial time you contacted me.

I received your message this afternoon requesting for my services. Actually the young girl Miss Aminata Kabba earlier approached me with the documents of her late father's deposit in the bank here. I made photocopies of the documents before I went to the bank to make enquiries about the source of the money ie to confirm if the money has anything to do with drug, terrorism or money laundering but the bank confirmed the money free from these three things.

Hence the bank confirmed the legitimacy of the funds and also intimated me that late Mr Kabba is a bonafide customer of the bank. I am ready and willing to accept all the legal responsibilities relating to release of the deposit to your yet to be nominated bank account.

Procedure:

I will issue a power of attorney on behalf of Miss Kabba directing the bank to release the deposit to your account as trustee/investor for Miss Kabba. Prior to filling an application of claim to the bank, I will notarise the deposit documents and the power of attorney in the high court here in Dakar which will cost some money.

Here is the breakdown of the cost:

Notarisation: $1,500

Passport: $200

Visa fee: $220

Service charge: $1,000

Total: $2,920 (two thousand nine hundred and twenty dollars)

Once I receive the transfer information which includes name of sender, test question and answer, control number and amount sent, I will commence actions immediately.

The adoption issue is not a problem. I will assist in formalising the adoption but I cannot do all at the same time. We have to start from somewhere. Moreover I have some other official things I am attending to.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: Thank you for partially answering my queries

Sent: Thu, 06 Jan 2005 16:58:26

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for getting back to me at long last. Thank you also for reminding me of the steps we need to take in order to free Miss Kabba from the refugee camp and prise her father's fortune from the clutches of the bank. I am most obliged to you.

However, I am disapponted to see that you have not given me any indication of how long this procedure will take. Presuming I get your fee to you early next week, how long do you think I will have to wait until the late Mr Kabba's fortune is transferred to my bank account? And how soon do you think it will be before Miss Kabba will be free to fly over to this country and join me here in Gypping in the Marsh?

I am also disappointed to see that you have not advised me on the steps that must be taken during the adoption process. It is all very well telling me that the adoption "is not a problem", but I need to know precisely what I need to do to make the dear girl my adoptive daughter. Please advise, and tell me how long you think this will take.

Regarding another important point that you raised, you mentioned in your email that you have "some other official things" to which you are attending. What "things" are these, exactly? I do hope that they will not interfere with the smooth and speedy progress of our business. After all, I am paying you for your services as a lawyer to act on my behalf. I don't want to commence work on this business only to find that I can never get hold of you because you're too busy sorting out someone's divorce or defending some criminal in a court of law. Please reassure me on this point.

As soon as I receive a full and detailed response to this email I will make ready the money for your fee. Presuming that you answer all of my queries by the end of tomorrow, I should be able to transfer the money to your secretary on Monday morning.

How is Ms Yoff shaping up, by the way? I trust you are satisfied with her performance and that she is turning out to be more competent than your last secretary, who seemed to be about as much use as a chocolate typewriter.

I look forward to your prompt response, my good fellow. Do pass on my regards to Miss Kabba if you should come across her in that dusty hellhole of a refugee camp.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Beaker

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: WHY DIDN'T YOU EMAIL ME YESTERDAY?

Sent: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 09:54:52

Hi Aminata,

You didn't email me yesterday which has made me very sad. I sent you another lovely poem and I was hoping that you would send me a reply and let me know what you thought of my poem because I took a long time over it and it shows how much I love you.

Why didn't you email me? You are making me unhappy and I am pining for you and dying to hear from you and that is no way to treat someone who loves you dearly and wants to marry you and have lots of babies with you.

I went to the doctor yesterday because my nose was not getting any better. In fact it was getting worse. The doctor told me that it was very badly infected and he gave me some antibiotics for it and he has put a big bandage on it and hopefully it will get better soon now.

I have finished painting your room blue so now your bedroom is painted in your favourite colour. I got some paint on the carpet and on the furniture but not too much so you probably will not notice it that much and as you will probably spend more time in my bedroom than in your own when you move in with us I suppose it does not matter that much.

Mr Murray sounds like he is getting a bit annoyed with your lawyer Mr Hovis. He said that Mr Hovis is delaying things and not answering his legal questions properly and quickly enough and Mr Murray told me that Mr Hovis told him that he is working on other cases at the same time as yours and Mr Murray is unhappy with that because he says that will mean more delays and it will be longer before you can come and live with us.

I met a couple of lawyers a little while ago called Mr Warburton and Mr Kingsmill and Mr Warburton was very good because he was on my side and Mr Kingsmill was on the other side and Mr Warburton told me that he got me off lightly with just my fine and my community service and my court order and when that expires I can be around children again which will be nice because it was all just a big misunderstanding anyway and I was just trying to be friendly and I did actually have a monkey at the time and it was called Ringo and when I was talking about spanking the monkey I really did mean spanking the monkey because he had been naughty and I did not mean what they thought I meant which was very rude and that is something I would never do in front of children although it is something I do each night before I go to bed when I think of you but that is alright because I love you and if you were here I would not have to do it because you could do it for me.

Please send me an email Aminata because I love hearing from you and I love it when you tell me how much you love me. I cannot wait to be with you. Please tell me if you liked my poem and if it made you go all weak at the knees. I know a few ways of making you go all weak at the knees but that will have to wait until you move in with us.

I love you very very much.

Thanking you,

Beaker

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis; Cc: Aminata Kabba

Subject: These delays are becoming intolerable

Sent: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 16:49:31

Dear Mr Clovis,

I am extremely disappointed not to have heard back from you yet in response to the email I sent you yesterday. I can appreciate that you are a busy man, but this is important business: Miss Kabba's welfare is at stake here. God only knows what perils she is having to face on a daily basis in that refugee camp.

Each day my future daughter remains incarcerated inside the camp is a day wasted, Mr Clovis. And we have now wasted another day, thanks to your failure to respond to my perfectly reasonable questions.

I have been moving money between bank accounts, and I should be able to send you your fee on Monday. However, I will not do this until you have answered the queries I put to you.

I am not used to being messed around in such a shoddy manner. I have to tell you, sir, that I have a good mind to dispense with your services altogether and find myself a more professional lawyer. If wish to avoid this from happening, I suggest that you re-read the email I sent to you yesterday at once, and furnish me with some answers as a matter of urgency.

The unfortunate Miss Kabba is depending on us, and you are letting the side down at the moment. Stop fornicating with your secretary and let's see some action out of you for once, Mr Clovis.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Answer to your questions

Sent: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 10:46:38 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

You should not be disappointed when we have not even started. First let me start with the adoption issue.

The procedure is that I will collect a form called consent of the court order or interim court order which you are going to fill all your personal informations, then I will obtain a sworn court affidavit of support before going to the local government area of competent jurisdiction where they will issue a letter of administration upon verification and confirmation of the data in form 1 and form 2. I can achieve all these within 21 working days from the day the completed form is submitted to the local government area here in Dakar.

Secondly, the release of Miss Kabba's money and her travelling arrangements will last for more than 14 working days barring any delay. My official engagements will not the alter this timing. If there is commitment from your side, I assure you everything will work out fine.

Thank you very much for your patience and understanding.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Beaker

Subject: The use of system here is being rationed

Sent: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 14:34:48 -0500 (EST)

Dear Beaker,

Thanks for your messages and the new poem you composed. I couldn't reach you yesterday because it was not our turn to use the system here. You will recall I told you earlier that everything here is being rationed and I don't have money to make private arrangements.

Please bear with me. Very soon it will be over. Let me use the remaining time to write Papa. Have nice day.

Yours sincerely,

Aminata Kabba

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I will go and find out the cause of the delays

Sent: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 14:46:33 -0500 (EST)

Darling Papa,

I received the two messages you sent to the lawyer which you copied me. I did not have access to the internet yesterday due to the sharing of the use of the system here in the camp. However I will go and see the lawyer this night to know the reason for the delay.

Please sir, don't feel bad about the delay. I think there must be a reason for that. I don't know him as somebody that delays work. Let's hear from him first. Whatever happens I will tell you tomorrow.

Have a nice sleep and good night.

Your darling daughter,

Aminata Kabba

From: Beaker

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: YOU DID NOT SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 11:14:01

Hi Aminata,

You did not say that you love me in your last email and that made me very sad because I love you and I want you to tell me that you love me in each and every email that you send to me. Please tell me that you love me. I cannot bear to be live without your love. Tell me that you love me please please please please please.

You said you would send me more photographs of yourself but you have not sent me any yet and this is making me sad too. Please send me some more photographs of you so that I can look at you and see how very beautiful you are and so that I can imagine what it will be like when you come to live with us here in Hemlock Cottage.

If you have any photographs of you with less clothes on that would be good.

Thanking you,

Beaker

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: Better late than never, I suppose

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 12:02:47

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for your somewhat late response to my emails. It is disappointing that I had to resort to such provocative measures in order to extract a response from you, but better late than never, I suppose. If you want to retain my business, I would ask you to ensure that you keep this case at the top of your in-tray and in the forefront of your mind from now on. Never forget that the welfare of my future daughter, and of her immense fortune, is at stake here.

Your explanation about the adoption procedure raised a number of small questions.

Firstly, you told me that you would need to obtain either a "consent of the court order" form or an "interim court order" form in order to begin the adoption process. Which one of these forms do you need to obtain? Or do you need to obtain both of them? When will you be able to get your hands on the appropriate form and send it to me so that I can fill it in? Today? Tomorrow? This week? How complicated is the form? Is it fairly simple, or will I need your assistance in completing it?

Secondly, you then refer to three further documents: a "sworn court affidavit of support", "form 1" and "form 2". Do I have to fill in these three forms too? What is the purpose of "form 1" and "form 2"? What sort of information will I have to enter into the forms?

Thirdly, will I have to provide the court with details of any past criminal convictions relating either to myself or to any member of my immediate household (I am thinking of Beaker here)? Will any past criminal convictions affect my chances of the adoption of Miss Kabba being successful (again, I am thinking of Beaker rather than myself)?

Fourthly, if the adoption process takes place in Senegal, will the United Kingdom authorities recognise the legitimacy of the adoption when Miss Kabba moves over to join me in this country? I would hate to send her the money she needs for an airline ticket only to find that she was turned back at Heathrow for being an illegal immigrant because her Senegalese adoption papers were not recognised as being legitimate in this country.

Now, onto the matter of the release of Miss Kabba's money and her travelling arrangements. You say that this will "last for more than 14 working days". This is imprecision in the extreme. Exactly how long do you mean when you say "more than 14 working days"? Do you mean fifteen days? Sixteen days? Three weeks? A month? Two months? Six months? A year, even? Please clarify exactly what you mean. Also, is it desirable for Miss Kabba to travel to this country before the adoption is finalised? As I have already stated, I do not want her to be turned away at Heathrow airport and bundled off back to the refugee camp because the authorities think that she is an illegal immigrant. Please give me the benefit of your legal advice on this matter.

I very much look forward to prompt answers to these pressing questions. Please get back to me without delay so that we can get the ball rolling.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: Things are progressing nicely

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 12:04:12

Dear Miss Kabba,

Thank you for your email. I trust your weekend in the refugee camp was not too horrendous.

You will be pleased to hear that Mr Clovis finally got around to responding to my queries. Unfortunately, his response left a number of important questions unanswered. I am keen to do things properly - after all, your welfare is at stake, my dear - so I have just replied to him with a number of supplementary questions that require his prompt attention. Hopefully Mr Clovis will be somewhat more punctual in his next response.

However, despite these minor problems caused by Mr Clovis' tardiness, I am pleased to report that things are progressing nicely. Mr Clovis has started to explain the adoption process to me and I am confident that we will be able to release you and your immense fortune from your current predicament and into the safety of my arms in the very near future.

Keep a stiff upper lip, my dear girl. That's the spirit.

Best regards,

Darling Papa

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Please decide on what to do

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 08:19:44 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

I received your questions this afternoon. I want you to understand that the judicial system everywhere is the same. And whatever is adopted by any judiciary is equally binding on the other. Provided the adoption process is completed legally here in Senegal by a court of competent jurisdiction, no authority in the world can question that.

You will be required to fill form1 and form 2. The court affidavit of support will be issued by the high court here in Senegal. The informations you will fill in are your personal informations like marital status, age, profession, physical contact address, etc. Please, no criminal records. It will cost $550 (five hundred and fifty dollars) to purchase the forms.

Who is Beaker?

The release of the money and her travelling arrangements will be completed in 14 working days from the day I commence. Then when the money is released to you and Miss Kabba is there with you, we can now start the adoption process. However, if you want me to do the three at the same time, I can do it. But is better for her to be with you before we start the adoption process.

Please let me know your readiness to proceed in this matter to enable me to draw my own programme.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: Now we are getting somewhere

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 17:33:54

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for your prompt response to my queries. That's more like it. Well done. Keep up the good work.

I am relieved to hear that an adoption that is processed in Senegal will be recognised by the British legal system. That really is excellent news. However, I am extremely concerned about the timing of all this. You say that in your opinion it would be better to leave the adoption process until Miss Kabba has joined me in the United Kingdom. Are you sure about this? As I said in my last email, I am worried that the British authorities will not even let Miss Kabba into the country unless she has a relation over here: the British authorities are cracking down hard on illegal immigration at the moment, and I would hate Miss Kabba to be turned back at the airport.

I therefore think that it will be better for all concerned if we complete the adoption procedure before Miss Kabba attempts to travel to this country. Although that does mean that she will have to stay rotting in the refugee camp for a little while longer, the young lady does seem to be made of stern stuff, and I am sure she will be able to cope for a couple more weeks. What are your thoughts on this?

I do have one more small query before we proceed. In your last email, you said "please, no criminal records". What precisely did you mean by this? Did you mean that if Beaker or I had a criminal conviction this would present us with a problem, or that I should not enter details of any criminal convictions when I complete the forms? The reason I ask is that Beaker has a number of criminal convictions. Nothing too much to worry about really; most of them were simply the result of unfortunate misunderstandings of one sort or another. I am happy to report that my own record is spotlessly clean, by the way.

Beaker is my assistant. I thought I had mentioned him before. As well as working for me, he has a room in Hemlock Cottage. The fact that we share an address is what made me ask you whether his criminal convictions would be problematic.

Beaker and Miss Kabba are getting on extremely well, you will be happy to hear. Between you and I, Mr Clovis, I would not be surprised to hear the sound of wedding bells soon after Miss Kabba moves over here.

Please get back to me with an answer to my query as soon as you can, then we can move forward with all appropriate speed.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: The choice is yours

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 10:25:53 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

I give you my words that the British authorities will not turn Miss Kabba back if I handle the processing of her travelling documents by myself. You should not entertain any fear about it.

Your little fear about criminal records. There is no provision in the forms where you will be requested to fill in your criminal records or that of your personal assistant or your worker.

Finally, the choice is yours. I can start the adoption process if that is your priority.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Beaker

Subject: I love you so much

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 13:39:39 -0500 (EST)

Dear Beaker,

I am sorry that I didn't remember to say I love you in my last mail to you. I have more pics I can send to you but it will cost me little money to scan it to you. If you can exercise patience for a while, I hope to join both of you in England soonest then you will see me in person.

However if you insist you need them before my coming, you give me little time to arrange for the scanning. I hope you people are okay. I love you so much!

Yours sincerely,

Aminata Joy Kabba

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Thanks and God bless

Sent: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 13:47:42 -0500 (EST)

Darling Papa,

Thank you for all your sincere efforts so far. I am highly impressed and grateful that you are making honest arrangements to get me out of this camp. Mere written words is not enough to express my gratitude to you for all your help. The almighty God will reward you in hundred folds. Please keep me informed of any step you take.

Lots of love from your darling daughter,

Miss Aminata Kabba

From: Beaker

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: SEND ME SOME MORE PICTURES AS SOON AS YOU CAN PLEASE

Sent: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 09:00:42

Hi Aminata,

Thanks for your lovely email and for saying that you love me again. That has made me very happy.

Please please do send me more pictures of you as soon as you can because Mr Murray says that he is going to adopt you before you fly over here to make sure everything goes alright and he says that means you are going to have to stay in the camp for a few more weeks so I want to see more pictures of you now. The less clothes the better because I may as well see what I have got to look forward to.

I love you! Email me soon with some pictures and do not keep your darling Beaker waiting.

Thanking you,

Beaker

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis; Cc: Aminata Kabba

Subject: Regarding my adoption of Miss Kabba

Sent: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 12:19:52

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for your email and for your answers to my queries. I must say, you are being extremely helpful in this business. I really don't know what I would do without your assistance.

Having considered the matter thoroughly, I have decided that it will be best if we process Miss Kabba's adoption at the same time as arranging for the transfer of her late father's fortune into my hands... in other words, before she travels over to this country. Then when the dear girl moves over here to be with me, everything will be sorted out and there will be no more legal work to bother with.

With this in mind, I would be grateful if you could obtain all of the forms you need regarding the adoption and the transfer of the money at once, and send them to me as soon as you can. There is no time to waste.

You can make a start by sending me a copy of the documents you already have: those relating to Miss Kabba's father's bank deposit. I look forward to receiving them from you later today.

I will unfortunately be unavailable for the rest of the day, as I am expecting a visit from Captain Mainwearing, the Head of Developmental Research at the Ministry of Defence, regarding the last project I worked on. I cannot go into any great detail about this - I had to sign the Official Secrets Act when I agreed to work on the MOD's behalf - but suffice to say that I developed a unique kind of paint for them which they will be able to use to camouflage their troops and equipment in a quite remarkable way.

The MOD has been testing my paint ever since I handed it over to them, and Captain Mainwearing is visiting today to give me the results of their tests. I fully expect the paint to have passed with flying colours, and for Captain Mainwearing to confirm that the MOD is now willing to sign a contract to use the paint exclusively. This will be extremely lucrative for me, my dear fellow, and I am relying on this money to fund my next project.

I apologise for not being available for the rest of the day. However, if you send me a copy of the bank deposit documents today I will peruse them tonight and get back to you tomorrow.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Beaker

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: I FORGOT TO TELL YOU

Sent: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 15:34:48

Hi Aminata,

I forgot to tell you in the email that I sent to you this morning that I dreamed about you again last night.

It was a very vivid dream and in the dream you were living here in Hemlock Cottage with me and Mr Murray and Mr Murray went out for the evening for a few pints in the Cock and Bull in the village where I used to go drinking before I was barred after an unfortunate misunderstanding between me and the landlord's daughter which really wasn't my fault and everyone got the wrong end of the stick and I was only trying to be friendly and I really didn't mean to alarm her and it wasn't my fault that she fell down the stairs and anyway Mr Murray says that she's alright now that her bones have knitted and now that she's finished an intensive course of counselling apparently she feels confident enough to go out on her own again which is nice.

Well anyway in this dream I was in my bedroom polishing my collection of hunting knives and you came in dressed in a French maid's outfit which I hope you will wear when you are doing the cleaning after you move in with us and you had a yellow duster in your hand and you saw me polishing my hunting knives and you asked me if there was anything I would like you to polish and I said yes there was and you bent over me with your duster in your hand and after that things got very exciting.

I am too embarrassed to tell you what happened next but it was very nice and when I woke up I had to change my pyjamas and wash my bedding again because things had got a bit messy.

Do you dream about me, my love? I love you very much and I hope that I dream about you again tonight even if it does mean that I have to wash my bedding again.

Mr Murray is having a meeting this afternoon with some very important people from the Ministry of Defence and it is all very hush hush and he has asked me to keep out of the way because Captain Mainwearing does not like me ever since there was a slight misunderstanding between me and his daughter so I think I will go and play with the chickens now.

I will be thinking about you for the rest of the day because I love you.

Thanking you,

Beaker

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: Where are the documents?

Sent: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 09:00:07

Dear Mr Clovis,

Where are the documents you are supposed to be sending me? I was expecting to receive them yesterday so that I could go through them last night and we could make some progress, yet I have heard nothing from you. What is the reason for this delay?

Captain Mainwearing's visit yesterday did not go as I expected. In fact I received some extremely distressing news from him. Apparently the paint that I developed for the Ministry of Defence last year turned out to be highly toxic; so much so, in fact, that seven of the servicemen who were testing the paint have died as a result of prolongued exposure to it, and the rest of their battalion has been hospitalised. Apparently the paint attacked their central nervous systems. I must say, although I was aware of a certain element of toxicity when I developed the paint, I had no idea that it would prove to be that harmful.

Anyway, as a result of this, the MOD is no longer interested in using the paint, and they will not be signing a contract with me. Captain Mainwearing went so far as to tell me that he had half a mind to press charges of manslaughter on me! Thankfully he is not going to.

However, this is devastating news: I was relying on the money from the MOD contract to fund my next project. I have been planning to work in partnership with an old aquaintance of mine, Professor Yaffle, to develop a marvellous mechanical mouse organ. However, now that I know I will not be receiving any money from the MOD, I have no idea how I will be able to fund the project. I suppose I will just have to find an alternative source of funding. Where from, I have no idea. A development project like that costs millions.

But enough of my financial worries. Back to our business. Kindly remember that my future daughter's welfare is at stake here. Her entire future rests upon the business we are conducting, so let us have no more delays. I expect to receive the documents from you by return.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: We are not moving forward after all

Sent: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 02:32:19 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

I received your two messages. I hope the documents you are talking about does not include form 1 and 2 or any affidavits, because I told you earlier that it will cost money to get those documents.

The ones in my possession include the statement of account of the fixed deposit and Mr Kabba's death certificate. You can tell me how to send the documents to you, ie by what means. Is it by mailing or by fax or by scanning through the computer, though the scanning machine is not available here in the camp and I will have to pay for it.

You should also note that you have not even paid any mobilisation fee to me, so how do I go about the little expenses? I have not seen where a lawyer will use his personal money to run expenses for his client. This is not how to move forward.

Please, when you are ready to employ my services you should let me know. I have given you all the vital informations you need to know. You are even free to contact another lawyer who can do it with his money.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: I am somewhat confused by your latest email

Sent: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 11:21:52

Dear Mr Clovis,

I am somewhat confused by your latest email. I have already given you the go-ahead to start work on my behalf on this matter. Why on earth would I want to contact another lawyer? You are my lawyer, Mr Clovis. Do you not want the work? Is that it?

I naturally presumed that you would work in the same way as Welsby and all other lawyers I have come across, and that you would request payment in the same manner as them, ie that you would carry out the work in hand and then present me with a bill for your services, which I would then pay. Is this not the way in which you operate? If not, I would appreciate it if you could explain how you go about invoicing your clients for the work that you carry out.

But let us not allow the whys and wherefores of the precise method by which you are remunerated obscure the main thrust of our business: that of freeing Miss Kabba from the refugee camp, completing the adoption process and releasing Miss Kabba's late father's fortune into my hands. I am concerned that you have not already started work on this, despite my instructions to you. I would appreciate it if you could therefore set the wheels in motion immediately.

Regarding the documents I was referring to, I did indeed mean the statement of account and the death certificate. I do not possess a fax machine, so kindly send me scanned copies of these documents by return so that I can examine them.

Jump to it, there's a good man. And don't worry about your payment. We will get everything sorted out.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: A thought has just occurred to me

Sent: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 13:39:16

Dear Mr Clovis,

I have spent the whole morning worrying about how I will be able to fund my next project with Professor Yaffle. Well, a thought has just occurred to me. Once we have retrieved her late father's money from the bank, Miss Kabba will be rich to the tune of $10.5 million. That would be more than enough to fund my project. I will have to see if I can persuade Miss Kabba to invest her money in this enterprise. The returns should make it well worth her while.

Of course, she may not be willing to invest her fortune in my project. I really don't know what I would do if that was the case...

On a completely unrelated matter, perhaps you could advise me on a point of law, my good man. Once we have completed the adoption process and Miss Kabba is legally my daughter, am I right in presuming that I would therefore inherit her assets were, perish the thought, anything to happen to her?

Say, for example, Miss Kabba was to accidentally fall down the stairs of Hemlock Cottage and break her neck. Would I, as her adoptive father, inherit her fortune?

To take another example, say Miss Kabba was to accidentally give me a spontaneous, loving, daughterly embrace in the kitchen, not realising that I was holding an extremely sharp kitchen knife, and say that the knife was to accidentally, tragically pierce her heart. Would all of her money become mine, as her next of kin?

Please advise, my dear fellow.

I also look forward to receiving those documents you are going to send me, as well as an explanation of the way in which you charge your fees. I have the money ready for you in the bank. Presumably you are going to send me an invoice?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Beaker

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: YOU DID NOT EMAIL ME YESTERDAY

Sent: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 14:49:21

Hi Aminata,

You did not email me yesterday even after I told you all about the lovely dream I had about you and that has made me very sad.

I am also very sad because Mr Murray is in a very bad mood today. The men from the Ministry of Defence came yesterday and gave Mr Murray some very bad news and they will not be buying the paint he invented for them now and that has made Mr Murray very cross because he thought they were going to give him lots of money for the paint and now they are not.

He is also in a bad mood because he says your lawyer Mr Bovis is delaying everything again and Mr Murray says that he has already told Mr Bovis to get on with things but all Mr Bovis seems to have done so far is to sit on his fat backside and fantasise about his secretary's breasts. They are Mr Murray's words and not mine by the way.

Mr Murray is in such a bad mood that I am doing my best to keep out of his way today because I do not like it when he is in a bad mood because he shouts at me and I cannot think straight when people shout at me and I start to get all confused and that makes me upset and then I get angry too and that is not a good thing.

Someone is coming to stay with us this weekend. It is Professor Yaffle who Mr Murray is planning his next inventing project with. Mr Murray says now that the Ministry of Defence are not going to give him any money him and Professor Yaffle are going to have to find someone else to give them money so that they can do what they are planning to do. I am not sure what that is because it is all a bit secret at the moment.

Professor Yaffle will be staying in the spare bedroom that will be your room when you move in with us. I have met him once before and he is a wise old bird and he is nice.

I have to go now because I can hear Mr Murray coming and he will not be happy if he thinks that I am wasting time writing to my sweetheart. Write to me soon and send me those pictures because I love you.

Thanking you,

Beaker

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aminata Kabba; Cc: David Clovis

Subject: Mr Clovis is delaying things again

Sent: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 16:58:08

Dear Miss Kabba,

How are you today, my dear? I trust you are keeping well in the refugee camp and that you are managing to steer clear of any infections or epidemics that might currently be spreading rapidly through the huddled masses of humanity that no doubt litter the dusty ground.

I am sorry to have to report that Mr Clovis is delaying things again. I have asked him to set the wheels in motion on a number of occasions, but so far he appears to have done precious little on our behalf.

The man was wittering on about money this morning and pleading poverty. I asked him to give me details of how he expects to be paid so that I could make arrangements, but so far I have heard nothing back from him. I am not impressed, I can tell you.

I have the money ready. It is sitting here in my bank account. I am keen to move forward with all possible speed, so is there any chance you could have a word with Mr Clovis and see if you can hurry things along, my dear? It may help.

Do let me know how you get on.

Best regards,

Darling Papa

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: The lawyer wants financial commitment

Sent: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 16:09:31 -0500 (EST)

Darling Papa,

I am confused somehow. I met with the lawyer as you requested me to do. The lawyer is insisting that if we do not pay him part of his charge that he can no longer render his services. Please Papa, try and sort this issue out with him. You are my last hope.

Your daughter,

Aminata Kabba

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: Don't worry; I will sort things out with Mr Clovis

Sent: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 10:56:25

Dear Miss Kabba,

Thank you for your email, my dear. I think Mr Clovis and I have been working at cross-purposes. I was under the impression that Mr Clovis would carry out the work and bill me for it afterwards like any normal person would do. I did not realise that he would require his fee to be paid in advance.

However, don't worry, my dear. This will not be a problem. I will sort things out with Mr Clovis today.

I have to say that Mr Clovis' lack of communication on this matter has not helped matters. If only the man had made this clear to me, we would not have wasted precious days... precious days during which you have had to remain festering in the refugee camp.

I shall get onto Mr Clovis immediately and sort everything out. Don't worry about a thing, my dear girl. Your late father's money will soon be safely in my hands where it belongs.

And so will you, of course.

Best regards,

Darling Papa

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis; Cc: Aminata Kabba

Subject: Confirm the amount and I will transfer the money to you immediately

Sent: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 10:58:30

Dear Mr Clovis,

I have just received an email from Miss Kabba. She tells me that she met up with you yesterday, and that you require a fee before you will start work on my behalf.

I think we have been working at cross-purposes over the past few weeks. I had assumed that you would carry out the work and then present me with a bill afterwards, like every other lawyer I have ever come across. I did not realise that you would require payment in advance.

I apologise if this has caused any confusion. However, I must say that you did not explain this very clearly to me. If you had done so, you would have received your fee by now and we would have been well on the way to releasing Miss Kabba's money from the bank. You failure to communicate over the past few days has not helped matters either.

However, now that I understand what is required, could I ask you to confirm the total amount that you want me to transfer to you? Please include all of the monies that you will need to sort out the three strands of this business: the release of the money from the bank, the release of Miss Kabba from the refugee camp, and my adoption of Miss Kabba. I would appreciate it if you could break down the total amount into its constituent parts so that I am absolutely clear what I am paying for.

As soon as I receive this information from you, I will make arrangements to transfer the money to you so that you can start work on the case.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I would also appreciate it if you could answer the queries I put to you yesterday regarding what would happen to Miss Kabba's money if she were to fall victim to a fatal accident after her adoption.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis; Cc: Aminata Kabba

Subject: What the hell is the reason for this delay?

Sent: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 17:10:24

Mr Clovis,

I have been waiting all day for you to get back to me and confirm the total amount that you want me to transfer to you. What the hell is the reason for this delay?

This is not a game, Mr Clovis. The health and welfare of my future daughter are at stake here. So what the hell are you playing at?

Why have you not responded to my last email? I was all prepared to travel into town and transfer the money to you this afternoon, but you failed to get back to me, so I have not done so. Instead, I have been sitting here like a lemon, waiting for a response from you.

Are you ill or something? Or are you just incredibly rude, or unbelievably stupid? I cannot think what else could possibly prevent you from moving forward with this business. The chickens in the yard have shown more get up and go than you in the past week, which is quite amazing given the amount of chemicals I have been pumping into them. What's the matter with you? Is my money not good enough for you?

Here is an ultimatum. If you do not get back to me by the end of tomorrow with a confirmation of the total amount that you want me to transfer to you, you can forget this entire business. I will find myself another lawyer to work on my behalf. Hopefully, one who displays some degree of competence this time.

Get back to me immediately, or wave goodbye to me and my money. You have been warned.

Gilbert Murray

From: Beaker

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: MR MURRAY IS EVEN MORE ANGRY TODAY

Sent: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 17:18:05

Hi Aminata,

Mr Murray is even more angry today because he says your lawyer has not given him all the information he needs to pay him and he says that the lawyer has stopped emailing him and this means that you will be stuck in the refugee camp for even longer now.

Mr Murray is calling Mr Clover lots and lots of nasty names and he is saying that he is even more useless than me and that is something.

I am not happy at this news because I do not want you to be stuck in the refugee camp for much longer because I want you to be here with us as soon as possible because I love you and because I am getting really horny.

Is there anything I can do to help get you out of the refugee camp? Please let me know my love because I love you and you know that I would do anything for love (but I won't do that).

Thanking you,

Beaker

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Confirmation of the amount

Sent: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 11:07:23 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

I sincerely apologise for my late response to your message. Please bear with me. It was due to the opening board meeting we held today. The meeting lasted for several hours.

Further to your request for the total money needed to process the release of Miss Kabba's deposit, her adoption and travelling documents. I have given you the details of the release of the money and the cost of her visa and international passport. You already have the breakdown including my service charge which amounts to $2,920. Then the adoption forms, which I told will cost $550.

The total amount is $3,470.You can use the name and address of my new secretary to send the money then forward the transfer informations.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: At last, some progress

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 09:47:35

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for your email. Better late than never.

Thank you also for confirming the total amount that I need to transfer to you. Having consulted the currency exchange rates in the financial pages of today's copy of the Daily Parp, it appears that $3,470 equates to approximately 1,857.50, so this is the amount I will transfer to you. This is assuming, of course, that you have been referring to United States dollars, and not to some local currency of your own.

I will travel into town this morning, withdraw the money from the bank and transfer it to you via Western Union. I will get back to you as soon as I return with the information your new secretary, Ms Yoff, needs to collect the payment.

I have a busy day ahead of me once I return from town. Professor Yaffle is arriving this afternoon. We are going to spend the weekend discussing how we can raise sufficient funding for our next project, the development of a marvellous mechanical mouse organ. Professor Yaffle currently estimates that the total cost of the project will be somewhere in the region of 4,000,000. Now that I am not going to receive the money I was expecting from the MOD, this is a serious problem. I only hope that we will be able to think of a solution.

Now then, while I am away in town transferring the money to Ms Yoff, I suggest you busy yourself with answering the question that I have put to you twice already. For the third time of asking, what would happen to Miss Kabba's money if she were to fall victim to a fatal accident after her adoption? Say, for example, she was to feel thirsty while cleaning my laboratory, and accidentally poisoned herself by drinking a cup of hydrochloric acid, thinking that it was a nice refreshing glass of water? Would I, as her adoptive father and next of kin, inherit all of her money?

I expect to find that you have sent me an answer upon my return. Do not make me ask you this a fourth time, and let us have no more of these ridiculous delays.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Beaker

Subject: Please can you talk to him

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 05:09:44 -0500 (EST)

Dear Beaker,

Thanks for your messages. It is a pity that things are not moving as fast as we expect due to the little delay from the lawyer. Please help me and talk to Papa so that he will not be so much angry bearing in mind that he is doing all these things for my sake and because of the lawyer.

Meanwhile the lawyer told me this morning that he has replied to Papa's message yesterday. Help me and talk to Papa so that he will send the money unfailingly to the lawyer today to avoid further delay.

Yours sincerely,

Aminata Joy Kabba

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Sorry for the delay

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 05:26:46 -0500 (EST)

Darling Papa,

I received the two messages you sent to the lawyer yesterday. Beaker also told me that you were very angry yesterday. Please sir, for my sake forgive the lawyer if he has offended you by not responding to your request on time.

I will be happy if you can send him the money today so that he will not have any reason whatsoever to delay the work. I really appreciate all your efforts so far.

Thanks and God bless you.

Your darling daughter,

Aminata Kabba

From: Beaker

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: MR MURRAY HAS GONE INTO TOWN TO TRANSFER THE MONEY TO MR CLOVER

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 10:52:04

Hi Aminata,

Thanks for writing to me after such a long time when you have not written to me. I wish you would write to me more often because I love you and I love getting emails from you and I get sad when you do not email me.

Mr Murray has gone into town this morning to transfer the money to Mr Clover so I think they must have got things sorted out between them and he is not nearly so angry today so please do not worry.

Mr Murray has told me to tidy Hemlock Cottage today to get things ready for our visitor Professor Yaffle who is coming to stay with us this weekend. He should be arriving this afternoon so I am very busy today cleaning and tidying and then I will cook us all some food for this evening.

I will be thinking of you when I do all of these things. I thought about you again last night when I was asleep and my bedding is in the washing machine right now. I cannot wait for you to come and live with us here because then you can wash my bedding and my clothes and I will not have to do it any more.

I love you Aminata. Please send me those photographs you promised me as soon as you can.

Thanking you,

Beaker

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: Problems at the Western Union agent

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 13:55:08

Dear Mr Clovis,

I have just returned from town, where I withdrew the money from the bank and took it to my local Western Union agent. I explained to the agent that I wanted to transfer the money - all 1,857.50 of it - to your secretary, Ms Yoff. Unfortunately, the Western Union agent immediately threw a spanner in the works.

She explained to me that there is a limit to the amount of money you can transfer from Britain to Senegal via Western Union: you cannot transfer more than 500 in a single transaction. She told me that this was to discourage fraudsters from using Western Union.

The agent then asked me for precise details of why I wanted to transfer so much money to Senegal. I explained to her that I was transferring it to pay lawyer's fees. When she heard this, the agent asked me if I was absolutely sure that I knew what I was doing, and whether I was sure that you were indeed a lawyer. She handed me a leaflet which warns about something called "advance fee fraud" (presumably, as a lawyer, this is something you are familiar with), and advised me to make absolutely certain that I knew who I was sending money to.

She then went on to explain that although Western Union is a good way to transfer money between individuals, it is not a good way to transfer money for business transactions, as it provides no audit trail. She advised me that if I was absolutely sure that I wanted to transfer all this money to you, a much safer way would be via a direct bank transfer.

I have to say, I was quite taken aback by all this talk of fraud. Is this something you have come across before, Mr Clovis? The Western Union agent told me that it was quite widespread in West Africa. I find it shocking to think that there are such wicked people out there, trying to defraud innocent people like me of their hard-earned cash.

Presumably though, as a lawyer, you will be able to use your knowledge of the legal framework of Senegal and protect us from any fraudulent goings-on as we conduct this business.

Now then, back to your fee. As you can see, we cannot use Western Union to get the money to you. What the agent said about a direct bank transfer seemed to make sense, though. Presumably, as a lawyer, you have a corporate bank account. Send me the details and I will get right onto my bank and arrange for the money to be transferred directly into it. Failing that, if you send me details of your personal bank account I will transfer the money into that instead. I don't mind: either will do.

Get back to me as soon as you can with your bank account details, there's a good chap.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. Where are those documents you promised me? And why have I not yet received an answer to the question I have so far put to you NO LESS THAN THREE TIMES? Time and tide wait for no man, Mr Clovis. Get a grip, for God's sake.

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Answer to your question

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 06:08:23 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

You have asked this question before but I thought you were joking. Since you want me to answer the question let me do that, although we are not praying for that now.

If the adoption process is fully completed as required by the court of competent jurisdiction, Miss Kabba will lawfully become your daughter. This empowers you as the next of kin to inherit anything that belongs to her in case of any accident that might result to losing her life. You will become the legitimate owner of all her belongings.

I hope my explanation is clear to you.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: Thank you for answering my question at last

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 14:31:29

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for answering my question at last. I would like to reassure you that I fully agree that we are not praying for Miss Kabba's untimely death. Believe me, you will hear no complaints from her regarding her treatment in my hands. In fact I can assure you that once she has flown over to join me here in Britain, you will hear no complaints from her at all, about anything. On the contrary, I fully intend to see that Miss Kabba is taken care of as soon as she arrives here in Gypping in the Marsh.

However, an inventor's workshop can be a dangerous place, so it is worthwhile knowing exactly where I stand, just in case the worst was to happen. Homes can be dangerous places too, you know. Were you aware that you are far more likely to be killed in your home than you are to be run over by a bus?

Now then, get back to me with details of the bank account to which I can transfer your fee. I am more keen than ever now to bring Miss Kabba over to Britain as soon as we possibly can.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: You can still send the money

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 06:30:58 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

I have just sent you an email before I got this, your last message. What the Western Union agent told you is true. A lot of things are going on in the world today to the extent that it is even affecting innocent people that are doing their legitimate business.

What I will suggest is that if the amount is too big to transfer at once then you can send the money in smaller bits to avoid much questions because the agents will not understand what you are doing. Instead they will discourage you from sending the money.

You can go to another place and send the money. You can tell them you are sending the money for your daughter's school fees so that they can allow you to send the money. As far as you are dealing with me, don't entertain any fears about fraudsters. You can never be involved in such things. Or you can send the money through MoneyGram. If you pay the money to my account it will take a long time to clear that you may not even like the delay.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Advice

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 06:41:49 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

Please stop telling the Western Union agents the details of the business because they can never understand it. Tell them you are sending money to your daughter so that they can allow you to send the money.

Paying through the account will delay this business.

It is better you use Western Union or MoneyGram to send the money. Try what I have just told you. It will surely work.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: I don't understand

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 14:43:38

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for your emails. Unfortunately, I am afraid that you have confused me, my dear chap.

Why are you asking me to lie to the Western Union agents about why I am sending money to Senegal? I am sending this money for a just and true cause: to free Miss Kabba from the misery of the refugee camp. Why on earth would I lie to the Western Union agents about that? I do not understand, my dear fellow.

In any case, I don't think I would get away with lying to the Western Union agent. My dear old mother (may she rest in peace) always used to tell me that I was a terrible liar. She could always tell when I wasn't telling the truth, and things haven't changed ever since. I am such a bad liar that there is no way I could get away with telling an untruth.

What is this "MoneyGram" you mentioned? I've not heard of that before. Is this some kind of a bank transfer?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis; Cc: Aminata Kabba

Subject: Please advise me what to do

Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 19:58:21

Dear Mr Clovis,

I am unpleasantly surprised that you have not seen fit to respond to my last email. I need advice from you. Your silence is not doing either of us any good.

If you do not respond to my queries, how on earth am I supposed to get your fee to you?

Despite the fact that it will take a little longer, I am inclined to take the advice of the Western Union agent and transfer your fee to you using a direct bank transfer. I would feel better doing that than lying to the Western Union agent as you suggested. On top of this, it will be cheaper to transfer the money this way.

The world of international finance is all new to me, and I desperately need your advice. Kindly get back to me at once and advise me on what to do.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Try it will work

Sent: Sat, 15 Jan 2005 02:01:17 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

I have told you to go to another Western Union agent and send the money. You can split the money into three to avoid much questions. The agents can only advise you based on what you tell them. They don't know anything about the business so they will never understand what you are trying to do no matter how you present it to them.

Alternatively you can use MoneyGram. They operate like Western Union too. You can look for their outlet and send the money today. You don't need to tell anybody exactly what you are trying to do. I am telling you this out my experience here over the years. I have seen a similar circumstance in the past. Tell them you are sending this money to your daughter to avoid all these unnecessary delays.

The money in question is small to pay through the account. However if you insist that you want to pay through account I can look for a friend who can use his account and receive the money there in England and send it to me through Western Union.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Aminata Kabba

To: Beaker

Subject: The problem is not yet solved

Sent: Sat, 15 Jan 2005 05:17:33 -0500 (EST)

Dear Beaker,

I got your message. I am not still happy because the problem is not yet over. Papa is not finding it easy to send the money to the lawyer. Please see how you can help in this matter.

I love you so much darling. I will also send you more pics when it is ready.

Yours sincerely,

Aminata Kabba

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: I will do as you suggest

Sent: Sat, 15 Jan 2005 12:09:25

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for your email. Even though I feel extremely uncomfortable about the prospect of lying to the Western Union agent, I have decided to do as you suggest: I will travel into town, withdraw the money from the bank again and transfer it to Ms Yoff in four separate transfers: three of 500 each and one of 357.50.

However, I will not be able to do this until Monday morning at the earliest. Professor Yaffle arrived yesterday and we are deep in discussion all weekend regarding how to obtain funding for my next project: the development of the marvellous mechanical mouse organ. It would be extremely rude to leave the professor here with Beaker this afternoon while I went off into town.

I assure you that I will do as you suggest first thing on Monday morning. I will contact you on Monday as soon as I return from town with the payment information Ms Yoff requires in order to collect the money.

Could I just ask you to confirm that I have the correct information regarding your secretary? I have her name as Ms Grand Yoff and her address as 114, Aide Kiran, Dakar, Senegal. Please confirm that this is correct.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Point of correction

Sent: Sun, 16 Jan 2005 06:20:23 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

The name of my new secretary is:

Name: Miss Aide Kiran

Address: 114 Grand Yoff, Dakar, Senegal

You can send the money through Western Union or MoneyGram via the post office. Contact me as soon as you finished on Monday.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

From: Gilbert Murray

To: David Clovis

Subject: I have transferred the money to your secretary

Sent: Mon, 17 Jan 2005 12:09:41

Dear Mr Clovis,

Thank you for correcting my mistake regarding the name of your secretary. It is a good job you did that before I attempted to transfer your money to "Grand Yoff". That wouldn't have got us very far, would it? I could have sworn that you told me your new secretary's name was Grand Yoff. Never mind. We all make mistakes. I forgive you.

You will be pleased to hear that I have transferred the money to your secretary. Despite your reassurances, I was still uncomfortable with the idea of lying to the Western Union agent, so I went to my bank this morning to see if there was any other way I could get the money to you. I spoke to my Bank Manager, Nat West, and he told me that unfortunately there is also an upper limit on the amount you can transfer using the standard MoneyGram service. However, he told me about a new service that MoneyGram have just set up, called the Transglobal Worldwide Automated Transfer System. Apparently this service has been set up specifically to provide a transfer service that has no upper limit, and Mr West assures me that the money can be collected at any MoneyGram agency in West Africa.

I thought this was splendid news, as it meant that I did not have to bother making more than one transfer. Therefore, I have transferred the money to you this morning using MoneyGram's Transglobal Worldwide Automated Transfer System. The payment slip is attached to this email.

The system is broadly similar to Western Union in the way it works: all Ms Kiran needs to do is to take the attached copy of the payment slip to any MoneyGram agent and answer a test question and answer, which are as follows:

Test question: Gilbert's colleague?

Answer: Beaker

Ms Kiran will also need my full name and address, which are as follows:

Name: Gilbert Arnold Murray

Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK

Apparently she will not have to show any form of identification, although Mr West did tell me that it may make things simpler and quicker for her if she takes along something like her driving licence or passport.

I trust that Ms Kiran will be able to pick up the money before the end of the day. Please contact me as soon as possible to confirm that she has done so.

Now that I have transferred your money to you, presumably you can start work on releasing Miss Kabba's late father's fortune from the bank, as well as sorting out my adoption of the young lady. I expect to receive the documents I need to complete within the next day or so.

You will be pleased to hear that my weekend with Professor Yaffle went well. After a great deal of discussion, we have finally worked out how we will be able to get our hands on the money we need to fund the development of the marvellous mechanical mouse organ. It is a shame things have to be done this way, but desperate times call for desperate measures. It will be for the best.

The professor is still with us, by the way. He has decided to stay on for another few days so that we can finalise our plans.

I look forward to hearing from you later today.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aminata Kabba

Subject: Good news, my dear child

Sent: Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:58:21

Dear Miss Kabba,

How are you, my dear child? I trust that the waking horrors that must torment you every day that you spend in the refugee camp are not tormenting you throughout the night as well and keeping you from your beauty sleep. Beaker would be so disappointed if you were to lose your good looks.

Anyway, I write to you with good news. I transferred Mr Clovis' fee in full to him this morning, so the dear chap should be able to start work releasing your late father's money into my hands immediately.

Mr Clovis should also be able to start work on the adoption papers, of course. You are just as important as your late father's money to me, my dear girl. In fact, your welfare is uppermost in my mind: I would hate to see any harm come to you before you were legally my daughter.

I am expecting Mr Clovis to contact me later today to inform me that his new secretary has collected the money that I transferred to him. I will keep you up to date of developments.

Chin up, my dear child. We will soon have you out of that refugee camp and delivered safely into my bank account.

Best regards,

Darling Papa

From: David Clovis

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Informations not confirmed by MoneyGram agent here

Sent: Mon, 17 Jan 2005 08:02:17 -0800 (PST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

I received the payment confirmations but my secretary went to the MoneyGram agent here in Dakar but they did not give her the money.

Please, I am not familiar with this new system of transfer. Rectify that with them. If it is possible, get their branch address in Senegal to make the collection easy.

I expect your urgent reply. Please get the right information about how they operate and get back to me immediately today.

Yours in service,

David Clovis

Click here to view the concluding part of this scambust.