Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Janet Alia, Personal Assistant to Gilbert Murray MP, with whom I believe you have been corresponding regarding a business transaction of some sort.

I gather that Mr Murray was intending to meet with you later today to conclude the business transaction. Whilst I am unsure of the details, I know that he was planning to pay a fee to a security company, in return for which he was expecting to receive a consignment of some sort.

I write with bad news. Mr Murray was unfortunately arrested in the early hours of this morning for indecent behaviour with a Russian sailor who he met in a bar. Without going into too many details, the police caught Mr Murray and the sailor performing a sexual act in the middle of Dam Square. In Mr Murray's defence, he had had rather a lot to drink, he was extremely stressed after the events of the past two days, and the sailor was quite dashing, in a rugged kind of way.

Mr Murray and the sailor were taken into custody by the Dutch police, and are still in the cells now. I went to the police station first thing this morning and the police allowed me to see Mr Murray. He told me that as he is a British MP, the police will not be pressing charges. However, they are likely to deport him later today.

Mr Murray told me that his business with you is of the highest importance, and asked me to get in contact with you to see if I could complete the transaction in his absence. He suggested that I arrange to meet with you as soon as possible today. To this end, I have Mr Murray's briefcase, which contains the fee he needs to pay to the security company.

I do not know Amsterdam very well. Therefore I suggest that we meet somewhere central and easy to find. I would suggest Centraal Station. I do hope that this will be acceptable to you. Hopefully I will be able to complete the transaction on Mr Murray's behalf, and then catch a train to the airport ready for my flight home.

I suggest that we meet in the main entrance of Centraal Station at one o'clock precisely. Please confirm that this is acceptable to you.

To enable you to identify me easily, I am in my early thirties, approximately five feet six inches tall, I have shoulder-length blonde hair, and I will be wearing blue jeans and a white top.

Please reply as soon as you can to confirm that this is acceptable to you. If you could provide me with details of what you look like too, that would be extremely helpful to me.

Best wishes,

Janet Alia

From: Philip Moore

To: Janet Alia

Subject: Re: An unfortunate turn of events

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 02:21:50 -0700 (PDT)

MISS JANET,

PLEASE DID YOU READ THE LAST MAIL THAT I SENT TO MR G MURRAY? IF YOU DID NOT I AM GOING TO SEND IT TO YOU NOW. I WANT YOU TO READ THROUGH IT.

MOORE

From: Janet Alia

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Please forward me the email

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 10:23:02

Dear Mr Moore,

I do not have access to Mr Murray's emails. Please forward it the email to me.

Is one o'clock good for you?

Best wishes,

Janet Alia

From: Philip Moore

To: Janet Alia

Subject: Fwd: YOU HAVE TO REACH ME ON PHONE

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 02:27:13 -0700 (PDT)

Forwarded message:

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: YOU HAVE TO REACH ME ON PHONE

Sent: Wed, 21 Jul 2004 11:46:42 -0700 (PDT)

MR MURRAY,

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME YOU ARE FREE TO SAY IT. ONE THING I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW IS THAT I KNOW MY JOB, SO GOOD, YOU CALL ME NAMES, NO PROBLEM.

BUT ALL I NEED TO TELL YOU IF YOU WANT US TO MEET YOU TOMORROW, YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A NUMBER WHICH I CAN REACH YOU OR IF POSSIBLE YOU GIVE ME A CALL.

BECAUSE THE HOTEL WHICH YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE STAYING, I SENT MY PEOPLE THERE. THEY COULD NOT FIND YOU THERE, AND THE LETTER YOU GAVE ME OF THE HOTEL NUMBER WHICH I HAVE BEEN ASKING YOU FOR A LONG TIME, YOU DID NOT.

I CALLED THE NUMBER. THEY TOLD ME THAT NO ONE IS CALLED MISS JANET ALIA AND IVAN TASHAG.

From: Janet Alia

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Please send me your telephone number

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 10:30:38

Dear Mr Moore,

I am sorry, but I am rather confused by the email that you sent to Mr Murray.

Please send me your telephone number and I will call you immediately using a payphone.

Best wishes,

Janet Alia

From: Philip Moore

To: Janet Alia

Subject: Re: Please send me your telephone number

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 02:45:25 -0700 (PDT)

This are the number: 31-6153-13486.

Call me in an hour's time because I have a client which is on my neck now.

Moore

From: Janet Alia

To: Philip Moore

Subject: There must be something wrong with your telephone line

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 11:28:26

Dear Mr Moore,

I have tried calling you now three or four times using the number that you gave me. Each time I got through to you, the phone has gone dead immediately.

There must be something wrong with your telephone line. I have called using a number of different payphones, with the same result each time.

Listen, Mr Moore, I do not have much time left before I have to travel to the airport, and Mr Murray was most insistent that I must get the money in this briefcase to you today in order to finalise his business transaction.

As I cannot get through to you using the telephone, it seems that we will have to arrange things via email. Time is moving on. I will be waiting at the main entrance to Centraal Station at one o'clock sharp. Kindly get back to me and confirm that you will be there.

I will only be able to wait there for an hour at the most, Mr Moore. After that I will have to get a train to the airport to catch my flight back to the UK.

We need to act fast, Mr Moore. I do not want to disappoint Mr Murray by returning to the UK without having concluded his transaction. He will be most upset with me.

Please respond immediately.

Best wishes,

Janet Alia

From: Janet Alia

To: Philip Moore; Cc: James Bell

Subject: I will be waiting at Centraal Station

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 11:59:23

Dear Mr Moore,

I am very disappointed that you have not replied to my last email. I am now leaving the internet cafe for Centraal Station.

I will be standing in the main entrance for one hour. I hope to see you there.

If not, I will be catching a train back to the airport and you will have missed your last chance to complete this transaction.

Best wishes,

Janet Alia

From: Janet Alia

To: Philip Moore; Cc: James Bell

Subject: You have wasted my time

Sent: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 14:38:08

Dear Mr Moore,

I was extremely disappointed that you did not bother to show up to meet me at Centraal Station. Have you no manners? Do you not know that it is discourteous to keep a lady waiting?

I did think you had turned up at one point, when a short, dirty, smelly man with foul breath shuffled up to me. But he was just a beggar. I tossed the poor unfortunate fellow a few cents and shooed him away.

I did get talking to one very nice chap while I was waiting for you to show up. He runs a record shop that specialises in jazz. I have always had a soft spot for jazz: I really enjoy watching men getting sweaty and blowing their horns in dark, smoky rooms. When he discovered that we shared an interest in jazz, he offered to take me back to his shop and show me his collection. He told me that he had a particularly fine twelve-incher that he was sure I would enjoy.

I also got talking to a fellow who makes decorative door furniture: letterboxes, door knobs, that sort of thing. I was fascinated to find out that he has a shop in London as well as one in Amsterdam. I told him that the brasswork on my own front door is rather past its best, and when I described the door to him he told me that he had the ideal door knob to suit my style of door. I have asked him to give me a call when he is next in London so that he can come round and inspect my knockers while I see if I like his knob.

I am now back at Schiphol airport, waiting for my return flight back to the UK. You have done nothing but waste both mine and Mr Murray's time over the past few days, Mr Moore. This is unforgivable, especially considering that we travelled all the way to Amsterdam specifically to meet you.

You are a very rude man, Mr Moore. You should take a leaf out of Mr Murray's book: he is one of the most polite and decent men I have ever met.

I hope you are ashamed of yourself. Mr Murray will be most displeased when I tell him that this transaction has fallen through as a result of your laziness and incompetence.

Janet Alia

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: What a waste of three days that was

Sent: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 09:26:49

Dear Mr Bell,

Well. What a waste of three days that was. I simply cannot believe the incompetence of that man Moore. I tried my utmost to complete this transaction, but I did not manage to do so, thanks to Moore.

You may have heard from Janet Alia that I got into a spot of bother with the local Amsterdam police on Wednesday night. I would rather not go into details, but after this had happened, I made Miss Alia fully aware of the situation and asked her to complete the transaction with Moore. And do you know what? The man left her standing at the main entrance to Centraal Station for over an hour! He did not show up at all!

I have now returned to the UK, courtesy of the Dutch police. Everything has been sorted out, and thankfully the press have been kept out of it. Publicity like that could ruin me.

However, I still need to pay off the damn journalist who is blackmailing me. I had hoped to be able to pay him off in full today, but thanks to that idiot Moore, I cannot do so.

I have contacted him and he has agreed to hold off for another week, in return for an extra payment of 5,000. But he has told me that if I don't have the rest of the money by next Friday, he will publish the photographs.

Is there any way we can conclude this transaction without involving the hideously incompetent Moore? Perhaps you could arrange for the money to be transferred elsewhere, to another branch of the security company that is not staffed by complete morons? Or perhaps we could meet in London and I could give you the money in person? My offer of lunch still stands, by the way.

Please get back to me and let me know if there is any way we can work this out, Mr Bell. I am keen to put the events of the past few days behind me.

I must go now: I have a meeting with the Tory Party's Chief Whip. He was already extremely unhappy about me missing my tour of the north of England yesterday, and now that he has heard about my problems with the Dutch police, he is livid. I will have some explaining to do.

Get back to me as soon as you can, Mr Bell. I am depending on you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: POSSIBILITY OF SENDING THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOU

Sent: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 08:30:16 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

It's very unfortunate that we could not meet ourself at all. The main problem is that we did not have a good communication.

First I gave you my telephone number in order for you to reach me. You did not do so. We only communicated through email which is business way is not only email. Which I know that you that is not right.

So therefore you should not see it as you are the only one who was in a difficult position. I was in difficulties too. And frustrated.

So the only way which I can help you people now is for me to make necessary arrangements to bring the consignment down to the UK. This is the only way which I think that I can help you people for all the frustration you went through. If it's good by you, you just have to call me or send me an email message so that by next week it will with you.

And later Miss Janet sent me a mail stating that you was arrested by the Dutch police. It was very sad news. I am very sorry for that is one of those things in life. Please don't let yourself be in this kind of situation again.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: This sounds like a good way forward

Sent: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 17:13:37

Dear Mr Moore,

Thank you for your email, in which you made some very salient points. The past few days have been amongst the most frustrating and inconvenient of my life. First of all there was the difficulties we experienced trying to meet up with one another, and then to top it all, there were my problems with the Dutch police.

The Dutch police returned me to the UK early this morning. I am pleased to say that my lawyer, Welsby, has smoothed things over with them. Given my position as an MP, he has persuaded them not to press charges. In fact, he is currently looking into whether I may have a case for suing the police for wrongful arrest. Given the fact that there were over forty witnesses to what happened (including a group of Carmelite nuns) this is unlikely, but Welsby is a legal genius, so you never know.

I can appreciate that the past few days have also been difficult for you. I fear that in my frustration I used some harsh words towards you, which I now regret deeply. I would like to offer you my most sincere apologies if I hurt your feelings. I can be rather tactless at times.

I was disappointed that, despite my instructions to her, Miss Alia did not manage to conclude the transaction with you yesterday. I had hoped that she would have been able to sort things out.

Never mind. It is pointless to apportion blame at this stage. What is done is done.

Now then, Mr Moore, if you are in agreement, I would like us to make a fresh start and move forward. Your suggestion of sending the consignment to me in this country sounds excellent, and I am keen to pursue this possibility. Please send me details of how we can achieve this by return.

I apologise, but I will not be able to deal with this matter until Monday morning; I am about to leave my London office to travel home to my constituency in Lincolnshire. However, if you could send me details over the weekend, I will get right onto it on Monday morning when I return to London.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Arrangements for moving the consignment to the UK

Sent: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 12:05:31

Dear Mr Moore,

I returned to London this morning from my constituency expecting to have received an email from you regarding the possibility of moving the consignment from Holland to the UK. I was disappointed to find that I have not received anything from you.

For reasons that need not concern you, I am extremely keen to tie this matter up by Friday at the absolute latest.

Please get back to me immediately and let me know how we can move forward with this idea of yours.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: URGENT ATTENTION

Sent: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 04:43:16 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Thank you for your response. It sounds like you are very sorry for all that has happened. So I do.

But the point is that if you know that we can be able to complete this transaction you have to know one thing.

This is not chatting at all. You have to make provision of your telephone number.

We can be able to talk on the phone. This is business we are doing. We are not making childs' play at all. If you agree on this condition then we can proceed. If you cannot then you have to tell me why.

Because I am going to send two diplomats to accompany your consignment down to England. On that issue you have to provide them where they can meet you. So as soon as they are arrived at the airport they can call you. You have to make hotel reservations for them. You have to purchase flight tickets for two people and then you will pay them 15,000 Euros. That will be after they have delivered it to you.

But before all this will take place, you have to pay for the clearance and handling charges and administrative costs which come to a total of 35,000 Euros. This money you have to send it through a bank transfer.

I will appreciate it if you can respond to all this through telephone conversation. You have to send me your passport photocopy through my fax number: +31-20681-4058.

Best regards,

Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: A few small queries

Sent: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 14:19:30

Dear Mr Moore,

Thank you for your email. Having read it thoroughly, I have a few queries.

I can accept that I have to pay you your fee of 35,000 Euros. Although I have to say that I have always thought this fee was rather expensive, it will not be a problem.

However, what on earth do I have to pay "two diplomats" 15,000 Euros for? Is this 15,000 Euros each, or 15,000 Euros between the two of them? Perhaps they would like to bring along a friend so that I can pay them 15,000 Euros too.

And you are telling me that I have to buy their airline tickets and pay their air fare as well, on top of all this? And what are they going to do with my valuable consignment? Place it in the hold alongside everyone's holiday baggage, where it is likely to get lost and end up in Timbuktoo or some other outlandish place?

And you expect me to make hotel reservations for them too, do you? Is there anything else they would like? Tickets to a West End show, perhaps? Or maybe a high-class call girl in the evening?

Pish and twaddle, Mr Moore. No reputable security company worth its salt would ever act in this way. A reputable security company (try looking in the telephone directory: you may come across some) would arrange the transportation of the consignment itself, and invoice me following delivery.

Regarding my passport. I have already sent this over to my associate Mr Bell, who tells me that he forwarded it over to you before I travelled to Amsterdam last week. If you have lost it since then, that is your own fault.

Now, regarding the issue of the telephone. How many times do I have to explain this? For your benefit, I will explain it again, plainly, simply, and without using any difficult words.

I am a Member of Parliament. Routine security measures mean that my telephone lines at the House of Commons and at my house are bugged, and the security services monitor my telephone calls. This is done for national security. I do not want the security services to find out about this transaction. Therefore I cannot speak to you using the telephone.

I hope I have made myself clear.

For reasons of security, I am also uncertain about the idea of transferring your fee to you via bank transfer: I know for a fact that the security services monitor MPs' bank accounts to ensure that nothing improper goes on. Is there some other way I can transfer money to you? One that does not involve banks at all?

My colleage Ivan Tashag tells me that he has used a payment system called "Western Union" before, which worked very efficiently. Would this be an option?

Kindly get back to me with answers to my queries as soon as possible, Mr Moore.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: URGENT ATTENTION

Sent: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 08:17:59 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Thank you for your email. Please, Mr Murray, when will you be a gentleman? All the time you said things to me, come on.

On the issue of the two diplomats I said are going to come to accompany your consignment, is for your own benefit. If you want I can send it with one of them. Is not my problem, is yours. If that is OK by you then you have to pay for one person, that is what you want, 7,500 Euros. A hotel reservation is not necessary, is because of inconveniences, that is why.

On the other side you said something of the Western Union transfer. I don't know much about that. One, the money is big. I don't know if that will be possible. If I were to say, I will suggest if you can use somebody's account. Maybe use your colleague's account and transfer it. It's going to be safer for me, and you too.

On the ticket issue, come on Mr Murray, tell me how you cannot pay for the ticket of this gentleman. All you need is for me to send you the name of the person that is going to come then you can buy it there. He we will pick it up here.

On the issue of your telephone, I have heard you. But you can make a call outside.

Best regards,

Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Precisely what is this 7,500 Euro fee for?

Sent: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 17:11:28

Dear Mr Moore,

Thank you for your email. Please explain to me precisely what this 7,500 Euro fee is for. It seems an awful lot of money to pay for one of your goons to hop onto a plane (paid for by yours truly) and swan across to the UK for a day's sightseeing. How can you possibly justify such an exhorbitant amount of money?

I am already having to pay you 35,000 Euros. This in itself amounts to nearly all the savings I have readily available. I am afraid that an extra 7,500 Euros to pay for a day's work is simply out of the question, especially when I have to purchase a plane ticket on top of that. I wish I got paid 7,500 Euros for a day's work, I can tell you.

Get back to me with a more reasonable figure and we will talk business.

Your idea of using someone else's account to transfer the money is a good one. I can't use Ivan Tashag's account; he is an MP, so he would have the problem. However, I may be able to make use of Janet Alia's account. She is most accommodating and trusts me absolutely. In fact, she has a safety deposit box at her bank that she lets me use on a regular basis. I can't count the number of times she has opened up her box for me and allowed me to slip inside and leave a deposit.

I will discuss this with Miss Alia tonight over dinner. I am taking her out for a meal at a marvellous little fish restaurant where we frequently dine, called The Fishy Bush. It is all very informal, and they specialise in dishes that you can pick up and eat with your fingers. I always enjoy going down to The Fishy Bush and eating out, even if it does leave me with sticky fingers that smell of fish.

I will let you know if Miss Alia will let me use her account tomorrow morning. In the meantime, please send me details of the account to which I should transfer the 35,000 Euros.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: JUST TRY AND SHOW APPRECIATION FOR CHRIST SAKE

Sent: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 10:20:10 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Thank you for your email. Please for Christ sake, can't you just show appreciation to this gentleman that is coming to bring your valuable consignment to you? Just tell me what you are going to give him after everything.

On the issue of the account I am going to give you one of my trusted accountant's account details. These are the details:

Please, I must talk to you tomorrow. I am very weak. I have to go home to my family.

Say hi to every one of your friends.

Account name: LUISE MORRIS

Account number: 7291915

Swift code: PSTBNL21, Hoorn, Netherlands

Best regards,

Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Please do not take the Lord's name in vain

Sent: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 09:58:41

Mr Moore,

I have just read the email you sent me last night. I have to say, I was grossly offended by the language that you chose to employ in it. If you wish our business relationship to continue to flourish, for God's sake, kindly do not take the Lord's name in vain, Mr Moore. Jesus wept, man, please try not to be so offensive in the future.

Janet Alia and I enjoyed a marvellous meal last night at the Fishy Bush. The fish pie that Miss Alia ordered was extremely large, and as she declared herself full when she was only halfway through it, she offered the rest to me. I didn't need asking twice, and I got stuck into her fish pie with relish. The eating out left us both completely satisfied, although as I had expected, I was left with sticky fingers and a fishy-smelling moustache.

Unfortunately, I am extremely tired this morning. Miss Alia purchased a self-assembly chest of drawers yesterday and asked for my help putting it together. We went back to her house after the meal and attempted to construct it. However, the assembly instructions were extremely poor, and we found ourselves screwing and nailing the wrong pieces of wood together several times. We had to take the whole thing apart and start again on several occasions. In the end, we ended up banging and screwing for half the night. But I am happy to say that it was worth it in the end: Miss Alia has a magnificent chest and she can't wait to show it off to all her friends.

I am pleased to report that Janet Alia agreed last night to let me use her bank account to transfer your fee of 35,000 Euros to you. Therefore, I travelled to the bank with Miss Alia first thing this morning and paid the money into account in readiness for sending it on to you.

However, the details you sent me of your accountant's bank account appear to be incomplete. I have the account name and number and the swift code, but you have not given me the name and address of the bank. Please send these details on to me by return and either Miss Alia or myself will transfer the money later today.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

PS. You mentioned in your email that you were very weak. Nothing too serious, I hope. What exactly is wrong with you? Are you talking about mental weakness or physical weakness?

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THAT

Sent: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 04:04:05 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Murray,

Forgive me for that kind of words I used on you. You know sometime the way you talk to me I don't like it as well. Let's just put it aside. I like one thing about you: you don't use God's name in vain. I like that.

So you had a nice time with Miss Janet last night? That is good, so you mean it was so nice. You are a bad boy. You really enjoyed yourself. That is good. This life is one, so is good for one to enjoy sometime.

On my side yesterday I was fiscally tired. There was so much on my desk, so much work. After my work I went home and was looking at my lovingly ten months old grandchild. I love her so much.

The account details I gave to you, I forgot to give you the address. It was mistake so I am going to send it again. Please, as soon as you make the transfer, kindly send me the payment slip through my email.

Account name: LUISE MORRIS

Account number: 7291915

Swift code: PSTBNL21

Bank name: Post Bank

Bank address: Be Huesmolen no 223

Post code: 1625, Hoorn, Netherlands

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: I will transfer the money this afternoon

Sent: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 12:35:08

Dear Mr Moore,

Thank you for your email, and for sending on the additional bank details. I am rather busy early this afternoon - I am due to present the prizes at the local girl's school sports day - but I will try to transfer the money later this afternoon. If I do not manage to get to the bank before it closes, I will transfer the money first thing tomorrow morning.

Now then, what arrangements do we need to make for the transportation of my consignment to this country? Please advise.

I must go now. I have to leave for the girl's school with Janet Alia. I am very much looking forward to this afternoon: I have always been a great fan of womens' athletics. I can't wait to see these fit young lassies fight it out in front of me in a desperate attempt to see who can come first.

Miss Alia used to attend this particular school, as a matter of fact. She tells me that she got an excellent education there, and remembers the headmaster as being a kind old fellow, who was fond of handing out gold stars to his favourite pupils. She remembers vividly one occasion when she handed in a particularly fine piece of work to the headmaster. He was so pleased with what she had done that he took her straight to his study and gave her one there and then.

I will let you know as soon as I have transferred the money.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: I will have to transfer the money tomorrow

Sent: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 17:14:36

Dear Mr Moore,

Unfortunately the school sports day at which I was presenting prizes went on longer than I had anticipated, so I will not be able to transfer your fee to you until tomorrow, as the banks are now closed.

The afternoon would not have lasted quite so long were it not for the unfortunate incident that occurred as I was presenting the gold medal to the over-sixteen 800 metre champion. The winner of the race, a somewhat generously-endowed young filly, was extremely excited to have won the race and started jumping up and down on the podium as I was trying to pin the gold medal to her chest. My hand slipped as a result of this, and I accidentally dropped the medal down the front of her blouse. Naturally, being the gent that I am, I immediately tried to retrieve the medal from the young lady's buxom cleavage.

Unfortunately, the young lady's parents were looking on and got quite the wrong idea of what I was trying to do. The girl's father had to be physically restrained, and it took the headmaster quite some time to restore order.

Luckily, I was able to explain everything to the complete satisfaction of the police, and they managed to persuade the girl's father not to press charges.

It is terribly unfortunate how the most innocent things can be misinterpreted so easily.

Anyway, back to business. I will transfer your fee to you first thing in the morning and let you know as soon as I have done so. When do you think the consignment will be in my possession?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: MY ADVICE

Sent: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 11:15:58 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

I will advise you to try and make the payment first thing tomorrow morning. And you have to ask the bankers how long is it going to take before it gets to us here. I will like to know so that I will know when the consignment will be sending to you.

Just like I said before, as soon as you make the payment try and send me the payment slip via email. I am sorry for not rippling you this soon. I have urgent call then I have to travel to Germany this afternoon.

I am looking forward to hear from you tomorrow morning.

Mr Phillip Moore

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: How are you?

Sent: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 22:25:29 +0100

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

How are you my good friend? I hope you are doing fine.

I was down since I heard what happened in Holland after you went for the clearing of our consignment in the security company. Please my good friend, before we can start again with this deal you have to provide to me your telephone and fax number so that we can talk. And this time around the money will be transferred direct to your bank account.

So let me have the information and start immediately for the transfer.

I am looking forward in hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: I am pleased to hear from you

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 09:08:23

Dear Mr Bell,

It is good to hear from you, my friend. I have to say, I was surprised to receive your email: you went quiet for a while. I was wondering if you were alright.

I am pleased to report that things are going well regarding the transaction. Mr Moore and I have settled our differences, and he has apologised to me for the litany of foul-ups he and his men made last week which resulted in so much of my time being wasted.

We have now agreed that the consignment is going to be transported over to this country. To this end, I am arranging to transfer Mr Moore's fee over to him this morning. Once he has received his fee, I am confident that Mr Moore will be able to transfer the consignment over to me within a matter of days.

So don't worry, my friend; we will have our money in the very near future, I promise you! I will keep you informed.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: I have transferred your fee to you

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 10:04:26

Dear Mr Moore,

I am pleased to be able to tell you that I have transferred your fee to you. Janet Alia and I went to the bank first thing this morning and explained that we wanted to transfer a large amount of money to someone in Holland, and that we were keen to get it there as quickly as possible. The bank clerk explained that rather than carry out a simple bank transfer, in which the money would take days to be transferred, we could transfer the money instantly using the Guaranteed International Money Provision Service (GIMPS).

Although it costs a little more than a standard bank transfer, apparently using GIMPS means that the money is transferred instantly, rather than taking days. In addition to this, the recipient can specify the bank account into which the money should be transferred, at the time at which they collect the money.

GIMPS is apparently linked in to the worldwide Visa network, so any bank around the world that accepts Visa will also deal with GIMPS transactions. I imagine that most banks in Holland will therefore be members of the GIMPS network. Using GIMPS, the recipient must go to a bank and ask the cashier for a GIMPS form, which they then fill in with details provided by the sender in order to collect the money. This is the point at which the recipient can specify the bank account into which the money should be transferred. Apparently it does not even have to be a bank account in the recipient's own name. The cashier is then able to access the money via the GIMPS network, and transfer it into the nominated account instantly.

GIMPS sounded absolutely ideal for our purposes: using GIMPS, your accountant should be able to access the money today, rather than having to wait. Therefore, I have transferred 35,000 Euros to your accountant via GIMPS.

Your accountant should therefore be able to collect the money instantly. All she needs to do is to go to a bank (one that deals with Visa, and therefore GIMPS), ask the cashier for a GIMPS form, and complete it with the following information:

Sender's name: Gilbert Arnold Murray

Account number: 74053275

Sort code: 21-38-19

Account holding bank: Bartletts Bank PLC, 14 Slocombe Street, Lincoln, Lincolnshire, UK

GIMPS code: 23F-57T-674G

I have attached the GIMPS receipt I was given to this email.

Please let me know as soon as your accountant has collected the money. Then we can arrange the transfer of my consignment over to the UK.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

(Click to enlarge)

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: GET BACK TO ME NOW

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 03:59:33 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Thank you for your email this morning. I just got to know that you have transfer the sum of 35,000 Euros on my accountant name. I will let her know.

What I want you to do for me now is can you be specific to me? I mean the name of the bank that accept this GIMPS in Holland, because there are lot of banks in this country so I will like you to ask Miss Janet's bank. I think they can give the information.

On the issue of transporting your consignment to you, is after I make the payment for the clearance. And other problems we have in this small country is cash problem. They are going to see this money as big money but that is not big problem for me. As soon as I get the money I will send you the name of the gentile that will come with the consignment so that you can purchase the air ticket for him.

Please try and get this information for me so that we can get the money this afternoon. I am looking forward to hear from you.

Best regards,

Mr Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Virtually every bank accepts Visa

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 12:18:25

Dear Mr Moore,

Thank you for your email. As far as I know, virtually every bank worldwide accepts Visa. That is what Bartletts told us when we transferred the money.

You could always have a look at the main Visa website, www.visa.com. You might be able to find a list of Dutch banks that accept Visa there.

But I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. I am sure that practically any bank in the Netherlands will be part of the global Visa network, and will therefore also be able to deal with GIMPS transfers. I suggest that you get your accountant to pop down to her nearest bank now and find out.

Let me know as soon as your fee is in your possession.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: ALL IS GOOD. PLEASE RESEND ME THE PAYMENT SLIP NOW

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 06:19:48 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Thank you for your email. I have heard what you said. Please, another thing is can you resend me the payment slip? It's very small when I print it and you can't see nothing. Just send it for me to be able to print it out and see it good.

If I get the slip I will send her to the bank then I will get back to you to tell you the next thing.

Best regards,

Mr Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: The payment slip prints out fine for me

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 14:36:51

Dear Mr Moore,

I am rather confused by your email. The payment slip prints out fine for me: I have just tried it.

Perhaps you have a problem with your computer, or with your printer? Or perhaps you do not know how to use your computer properly? Maybe a training course would be in order? Is there somebody else in your office who has a working knowledge of basic computer use?

I shouldn't worry too much about the payment slip anyway. The bank clerk told Janet Alia and I that the recipient would not need it in order to collect the money.

However, in case it helps, I have scanned in the payment slip again and tried to make it larger. Hopefully you will have more luck with this one.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: The payment slip prints out fine for me

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 07:07:23 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

I have got what I wanted. Please, when will you change my good friend? My computer is good and I know how to operate it. I don't need to go for more courses.

I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Mr Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: I look forward to hearing back from you

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 15:32:26

Dear Mr Moore,

Thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear that you do not have any problems with your computer or your printer and that you know how to use them correctly. Well done. You are obviously more intelligent than you appear.

To be perfectly honest, I was a bit of a duffer myself when it came to computers until quite recently. However, Miss Alia has long been interested in computers, and she very kindly took me in hand and taught me all about floppy disks, hard disks, keyboards and all that. She started off by teaching me all about the different types of disk drive. First of all we examined my floppy, and in no time at all we moved from floppy to hard.

I look forward to hearing back from you with the good news that your accountant has collected your fee from a bank.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: IT'S GOING TO BE ON FRIDAY

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 10:14:23 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Thank you for your mail. I should have got back to you this afternoon but I had some people in my office so I could not leave them to get back to you.

I sent my accountant this afternoon to the bank. As I told you early this morning about this small country that they are going to say the money is big. They make booking for us on Friday but that is not big problem. We are going to finalise everything latest by Monday. That is how they operate here, so never mind. We are almost at the end of this transaction.

The next thing I need to do now is for me to send you the name of the person that is going to accompany this consignment down to you. I talk to you tomorrow. I am off home. My greetings to every one of your friends.

Best regards,

Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: What's going to be on Friday?

Sent: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 18:31:42

Dear Mr Moore,

I was rather confused by your last email. You say that "it's going to be on Friday". Precisely what is going to be on Friday? Is your accountant not going to pick up your fee until Friday? Or are you not going to send me my consignment until Friday? Please clarify.

Also, you say that "they are going to say the money is big". Who is going to say that? And why should we worry if they do say it?

I have to say, it's all double-Dutch to me.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: Good news

Sent: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 09:24:41

Dear Mr Bell,

Good news, my friend. I transferred Mr Moore's fee to him yesterday, and Mr Moore assures me that everything will be tied up by Monday at the latest.

I suppose we should now make arrangements to meet up and share out the money. Would one day next week suit you? Please let me know.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I appreciate

Sent: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 10:57:40 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

Thank you very much for your effort.

Please choose any hotel in town. I will meet you up immediately you collected the consignment from him.

I am looking forward in hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: WE CAN'T FUND THIS GIMPS

Sent: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 03:09:59 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Me and my accountant have gone to all the big banks in this country. They said that they don't know this GIMPS Guaranteed International Money Provision Service. And I called the Visa office in Amsterdam. They don't know of this.

It's because of all this inconvenience, that is why I ask you to transfer this money through a bank account. Because this is a very small country.

I think if I were to say I will like you to go back the bank and ask them the name of the bank that work with this GIMPS in Holland.

Or is better for me if you can transfer the fund through a bank. It's just a matter of two or three days and the money will get here.

Best regards,

Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Can't you people do anything right?

Sent: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 11:58:26

Mr Moore,

I read your email with a mixture of disbelief and despair. Good God, man, can't you people do anything right?

Surely this so-called "accountant" has experience of transferring money via GIMPS? It's an international system, used around the world, for Christ's sake.

What kind of "banks" did you go to, Moore? Dodgy little back-street money lenders, no doubt. No wonder they'd not heard of GIMPS. Try going to some proper banks, man.

I am bending over backwards here trying to bring this transaction to a satisfactory conclusion, and all I get from your end is one irritating little problem after another.

And now you're asking me to go back to the bank, recall the GIMPS transfer, and make another transfer? Where's the bloody sense in that? And what's to say you will have enough gumption to be able to collect the money if I transfer it to you using another method?

I am sick and tired of all this fiddy-faddying around. This is business, God damn it, not bloody child's play.

I am a busy man, Mr Moore, and I am growing weary of your incompetent fumblings. Now stop messing about like a toddler in a sandpit and collect the money I have transferred to you.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: TRY AND FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS

Sent: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 06:34:44 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

I just read your message. The problem with you is you don't follow my instructions at all. If you had followed my instructions this transaction should have been finished. But you always claim to be at the right side all the time.

I went to the ABN AMRO BANK, the biggest bank in Holland. They told me that this system is not for European systems. It's only for the American banking system.

All I want you to do now is just go and call the money back and send it through bank transfer if you want us to go on. Am getting tired of all this.

Mr Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: GIMPS

Sent: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 15:01:51

Mr Moore,

Right, I can see that it is up to me to sort out this mess you have got us into. If that's the way you want to play it, fine. It always seems to be left to me to pick up the pieces.

I shall cancel the GIMPS transaction I made later today, pay the money back into Miss Alia's bank account, and get her to transfer it on to you.

I warn you though, all this will take time. If you had made proper efforts to collect the money I transferred to via GIMPS, you would have your fee in your hands right now.

I will get back in touch when Janet Alia has transferred the money to your accountant's bank account. It will probably be tomorrow now: I have an extremely busy afternoon ahead of me.

Now then, please get together the details of this chap you'll be sending over with the consignment so that I can arrange an airline ticket for him. Tell me what date and what time of day the chap wants to travel. Can you do that for me without fouling things up completely?

Get back to me with the information immediately.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Miss Alia has transferred the money

Sent: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 09:44:26

Dear Mr Moore,

I am writing to let you know that Janet Alia has transferred your fee to your accountant's bank account. I cancelled the GIMPS transfer yesterday afternoon, paid the money directly into Miss Alia's bank account, and she transferred it last night using Bartletts' telephone banking service.

Miss Alia is busy at home today. She has a roofing contractor coming to visit to lay new roofing felt in her loft space. Apparently her roof lets in water during heavy rain, so she tells me that she is looking forward to getting felt laid down in the loft.

Now then, please get back to me today with details of how my consignment will be delivered to me so that we can make the necessary arrangements.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Why the delay in responding?

Sent: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 12:26:41

Mr Moore,

Why the delay in responding? This transaction has been held up time and time again thanks to your delays. My patience is now wearing thinner than a lap-dancer's g-string. This simply will not do.

Kindly stop fondling your secretary or whatever it is you are currently doing, button up your trousers and apply yourself to the matter in hand.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: You have to let me know when the money will be on her account

Sent: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 04:34:36 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

Thank you for you email. I heard all that you said. The thing is I cannot tell you when the consignment will get to you because I don't know when the money you transferred on to my accountant's bank account will get to us here.

If you could tell me the day the money will be in her account then I could be able to say when and the day. First you have to let me know when the money will be in her account.

Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: How the blazes should I know that?

Sent: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 13:09:51

Mr Moore,

How the blazes should I know when the money will be in your accountant's bank account? I am an MP, not a bloody banker.

The important thing is that the money is now on its way. Now that we know this, we need to start making arrangements for the transportation of my consignment over to the UK. Kindly get onto this right away.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: BE NICE TO ME. WE ARE GOING TO FINALISE VERY SOON

Sent: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 07:52:07 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Murray,

I know that you are an MP. That is why you didn't know that GIMPS is for only American way of send money. But now you are putting it on me that I am the one wasting time. I am not. If you did what I ask you to do from day one we might finalise this transaction long time.

Now listen to me. I respect you as an MP but you have to know how you say things to me and you have to follow my instruction so that we would not keep making some silly mistakes. I ask you to ask your bank how long will it take for the money get to us here. All you have to tell me is that you are not a banker.

Because if I know when the money will be here then I will be putting all the paperwork together so that as soon as I have the money for the clearance and handling charge and administrative cost, then I can be able to go and pay for the clearance. Then from the day that I received the money, next day the consignment will be out to head to your country.

Hope to hear from you but stop being so rude on me. Be a good boy.

Best regards,

Phillip Moore

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: The money will be with you next week

Sent: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 17:09:25

Mr Moore,

I am in receipt of your somewhat patronising email. I have been in touch with Miss Alia's bank and they tell me that the money should be in your accountant's hands by next Tuesday at the latest.

With that in mind, Wednesday would be a suitable day for the transportation of my consignment to the UK. I presume that gives you enough time to shuffle your paperclips and about, rearrange the pens on your desk and deal with the paperwork. I suggest that we try to finalise our plans on Monday next week.

I am spending the weekend in my constituency again. I have been asked by the local greengrocer to open his new shop on Saturday morning. My wife Elizabeth bought all our fruit and vegetables from his old shop - he always sold particularly fine plums - and I am more than happy to carry out the opening ceremony at his new, expanded premises. I shall look forward to cutting the tape and inspecting his plums.

I wish you a pleasant weekend, Mr Moore. Here's hoping you will be able to start next week refreshed and with a more professional attitude than the one you have shown this past week.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: I hope to conclude things next week

Sent: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 17:11:38

Dear Mr Bell,

Unfortunately, thanks to Mr Moore's endless delays and foolish cock-ups, I have not been able to finalise our transaction this week. However, I am now confident that everything will be concluded early next week.

I will keep you informed. Wishing you a pleasant weekend.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: What on earth is going on?

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 09:52:26

Mr Moore,

Janet Alia has just contacted me. She received the following email from her bank first thing this morning:

Dear Miss Alia,

I am writing to inform you that an automatic stop has been placed onto a transfer you made via our telephone banking service on Thursday 29 July. The transfer in question was for 35,000 Euros, to a Luise Morris. The 35,000 Euros in question has been returned to your account.

This bank subscribes to the Worldwide Automatic Banking Intelligence Tracking System (WABITS), which maintains a record of bank accounts around the globe that are used for a variety of criminal purposes, including advance fee fraud, money laundering, the funding of terrorism, and other illegal activities. The account to which you were attempting to transfer money (account number 7291915 at the Post Bank) has been flagged as a "potentially dangerous" account in WABITS. Our banking system has therefore placed an automatic stop on the transfer.

This bank subscribes to WABITS in order to protect our customers, and to protect our own business. As soon as the automatic stop was placed on the transfer, I contacted WABITS for more information. I spoke to a Mr E Fudd, who informed me that the account to which you were attempting to transfer money is suspected of being used for criminal activities.

Given the fact that you have been a long-standing customer of this bank, I am assuming that you are unaware of this yourself. I would strongly urge you to investigate this matter yourself and to proceed with caution, as I believe that it is possible you may be unintentionally involved in fraudulent activities.

Please contact me at any time if you would like to discuss this matter further.

Yours sincerely,

Nathaniel West

Manager, Bartletts Bank PLC, 14 Slocombe Street, Lincoln

I am aghast, Moore. Can you please explain what is going on here? I assumed that your accountant was on the level, but now it turns out that she's probably involved in some sort of criminal activity. What on earth were you thinking of, asking me to transfer money to the bank account of a criminal? I am assuming that you are unaware of your accountant's dubious background.

I want an explanation from you, Mr Moore. And I want it by return.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: IT'S LEFT FOR YOU TO BELIEVE ME OR YOUR BANK

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 02:28:08 -0700 (PDT)

MR MURRAY,

I JUST READ YOUR MESSAGE WITH ANGER AND DISBELIEF. I DON'T JUST UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT AT ALL.

THE ACCOUNT I GAVE TO YOU HAVE NOT BEEN USED FOR ANY CRIMINAL ACTIVITY, MONEY LAUNDERING, TERRORISM OR ADVANCE FEE FRAUD SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING AT ALL. BUT IF YOU BELIEVE THEM WHAT THEY ARE SAYING, THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, IS NOT MINE.

MR MURRAY, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ALL THIS. IF YOU KNOW THAT WE CANNOT GO ON WITH THIS TRANSACTION, YOU JUST TELL ME. I HAVE SOME OTHER THINGS DOING. I CANNOT BE ON ONE BUSINESS FOR OVER ONE, TWO WEEKS. IS NOT GOING FORWARD.

IN FACT I DON'T WANT TO PROCEED LIKE THIS. I THINK I HAVE TO TAKE THIS CONSIGNMENT BACK TO WHERE IT CAME FROM, MR MURRAY.

BEST REGARDS,

PHILLIP MOORE

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: I want my consignment, God damn it

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 10:57:47

Mr Moore,

What do you mean, you don't want to proceed? You have a consignment of mine in your possession, and I want it. You can't just send it back where it came from. It's mine, God damn it.

All these problems we have been having have not been my fault. If you had had enough common sense to meet me in Amsterdam the week before last, all this would have been done and dusted. But no. You and your cronies completely failed to manage to meet up with me, leaving me with my Janet Alia hanging out for days.

And then last week you complained when I transferred your fee to you via the internationally-recognised and widely-used money transfer service, GIMPS.

And now you ask me to transfer the money to a bank account that is used by money launderers and advance fee fraudsters!

What kind of a business are you running, Mr Moore? You seem to be completely incapable of carrying out the simplest of business transactions.

I feel that I have been making all the running here, while you have been doing nothing but sitting on your lazy arse and wasting my precious time.

I want my consignment, Moore. I need it. Send it to me, damn you!

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Call me now and let us sort this out, man to man

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 12:50:52

Mr Moore,

I am disappointed that you have not responded to my last email.

We need to sort this out, Mr Moore, once and for all. Now is not the time to be idly flicking paperclips around your desk and fantasising about your secretary's thighs. Now is the time for us to conclude our business.

You know that I have been reluctant to give you my telephone number, as I have been afraid that the security services would intercept our conversation and find out about this transaction. Well I am currently at my colleague Ivan Tashag's private club, and he assures me that it is safe to make and receive telephone calls from here.

I will be here for the next hour or two, taking lunch with Ivan Tashag. I would appreciate it if you could call me here within the hour so that we can talk man to man and find a way to resolve this situation.

Please call me now on +44 (0) xxx xxxxxx. As this is Mr Tashag's club and I am here today as his guest, please ask the receptionist, Miss Hoare, for Ivan Tashag rather than asking for me by name: she may not know who I am. Miss Hoare will put the call through to Mr Tashag, who will then be able to put you on to me.

Please call me within the next hour. I am sure we will be able to sort out this problem.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

The telephone number is that of a rather dubious-sounding "gentlemen's club".

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Update me immediately

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 13:15:51 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

How are you today?

I hope you are doing well.

Have you been able to hear from Mr Moore? Please do get in contact with him to know if he is still delivering the consignment today as you said.

However, let me know immediately the situations of things.

I am looking forward in hearing from you soonest.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: Things have gone from bad to worse

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 13:53:26

Dear Mr Bell,

Thank you for your email. I am sorry to say that things have gone from bad to worse. I transferred Mr Moore's fee to him last week via the international GIMPS system, but the man was completely unable to collect it for some reason. I ended up having to cancel my GIMPS transfer. To be perfectly honest, I don't think he put much effort into collecting the money at all. He does seem rather lazy to me.

He then provided me with details of his accountant's bank account, to which Janet Alia transferred the money. Well blow me if Janet's bank didn't cancel the transfer only days after she made it. They sent her an email telling her that they had done this because their automated systems had detected that the bank account Mr Moore had asked us to use was associated with criminal activities!

I cannot believe this Moore character asked me to transfer money into a criminal's bank account! What on earth is he playing at?

On top of this, I got an email from Moore this morning telling me that he is going to send my consignment back where it came from and that he wants nothing more to do with me. How dare he? He has messed me around over this matter from day one. The cheek of the man.

I replied to Moore immediately, asking him to call me at the club at which I am currently lunching. But so far I have not heard a peep from him.

I have never come across a more incompetent imbecile as this Moore character, Mr Bell. To be honest with you, I don't know what to do next. If Moore refuses to get in touch with me, how are we going to get hold of our consignment?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Call him immediately

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 14:24:01 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

I was in receipt of your email.

What you have to do now is call Mr Moore on his telephone number immediately. Ask him not to return the consignment back to Holland and ask him on how you will make the payment to him immediately.

However, please try and call him now and get back to me for me to know what to do.

I am waiting to hear from you.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: Re: Call him immediately

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 14:28:42

Dear Mr Bell,

I have tried calling Mr Moore, but I cannot get through to the number he has given me. The telephone keeps on going dead.

That is why I have asked him to call me, urgently, at Ivan Tashag's club.

I don't know why the ignorant buffoon hasn't rung me yet.

Nobody has any manners nowadays. It's all terribly sad.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very Urgent

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 15:09:37 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

Keep on trying him until you get him because I don't want him to return the consignment back to Dublin.

However, if the consignment should be transferred back to Dublin it will not good for us, so try and get him on the phone immediately.

I am waiting to hear from you.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore; Cc: James Bell

Subject: Why have you not called me yet?

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 15:45:21

Mr Moore,

Why have you not called me on the number I gave you, as I instructed you to do so? What is so difficult about picking up the telephone, for God's sake?

My associate, Mr Bell, is most keen to ensure that my consignment is not returned to Dublin for some reason, although to be perfectly honest, having the consignment back in Dublin would suit me down to the ground. I could travel over there to pick it up and fit in a visit to Molly Bloom at the Ulysses private gentlemen's club at the same time.

Now call me at once, you irritating little man, and let us sort this matter out once and for all.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore; Cc: James Bell

Subject: Explain this if you can, Moore

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 17:14:52

Mr Moore,

Explain this if you can, Moore. Janet Alia has just been in touch with me. When she heard that her bank had cancelled the transfer she made to your accountant, she got straight onto the bank to see if she could find out more. The bank consulted WABITS, and sent Miss Alia a report detailing exactly why they cancelled the transfer.

I have scanned in a copy of the WABITS report and attached it to this email for you. As you can see, according to WABITS, this account is associated with advance fee fraud!

Thinking back, that nice Mr Adaba who I met in Amsterdam told me that in his opinion you were nothing but a contemptible advance fee fraudster. And now it appears that he was correct.

I think I have had a lucky escape, Mr Moore. Thank God you were too incompetent to actually extract any money out of me, although God only knows, you tried hard enough. I thank the Lord that you have been blessed with a brain the size of a pea.

I should have listened to that nice Mr Adaba in the first place. I am sure if I had moved forward with him rather than continuing this ridiculous carry-on, I would be a rich man by now.

Well, I did warn you, Moore. I told you some time ago that if there was any hint of funny business from you I would report you to the SIS - formerly known as MI6. And that is precisely what I am now going to do. I will forward all of your emails and your contact details to the head of SIS, and tell them that you have attempted to defraud a Member of Her Majesty's Parliament. You would be surprised and worried if you knew the intelligence sources they have at their disposal.

I shall instruct them to hunt you down like the animal you are, and deal with you as they see fit. I shall leave it up to them to decide whether to turn you over to the authorities, or whether to simply shoot you in the back of the head. I prefer the latter course of action myself.

I look forward to either seeing you in court, or preferably to seeing your cold lifeless body laid out on a slab in the morgue.

And that goes for you too, Bell. Nobody crosses Gilbert Murray MP and gets away with it.

Gilbert Murray MP

(Click to enlarge)

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Why have you not called me yet?

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 09:17:03 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR MURRAY,

WELL I GOT YOUR MAIL JUST NOW. I WAS JUST COMING BACK FROM BRUGES AND I GOT YOUR THREE MAIL MESSAGES. THE THING IS I HAVE BEEN IN THIS BUSINESS FOR LONG TIME NOW. I COULD NOT CALL YOU BECAUSE I WAS NOT IN MY OFFICE TODAY.

I DON'T FEEL HAPPY WHEN I PUT ALL MY EFFORT AND YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD. IT HURTS ME SO MUCH.

LISTEN, THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO NOW. I AM GOING TO SEE IF I CAN SEND ONE OF MY STAFF TO COME DOWN TO ENGLAND FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING TO PICK THE MONEY UP. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TRY AND MAKE IT AVAILABLE.

THIS MESSAGE, I WANT YOU TO REPLY IT BACK ANY TIME TODAY SO THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO KNOW WHOM I WILL SEND.

PHIL MOORE

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore; Cc: James Bell

Subject: How do you explain the WABITS report?

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 17:33:51

Mr Moore,

It's all very well telling me that you're going to send one of your stooges over to the UK to pick up the money directly from me. This would be a perfectly acceptable arrangement, were it not for the WABITS report Janet Alia's bank sent to her.

How do you explain all this, Mr Moore? Before I agree to meet up with one of your cronies, you must first convince me that you are not an advance fee fraudster, out to defraud me of my money.

Convince me of this and I might just agree to meet with one of your men and hand over your fee.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MINE BY THIS WABITS

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 09:50:36 -0700 (PDT)

MR MURRAY,

CAN YOU PLEASE SEND ME ONLY THE COPY BACK TO ME BECAUSE MY COMPUTER CANNOT DOWNLOAD.

WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THIS WABITS? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. DOES IT MEAN THAT I AM A TERRORIST OR MONEY LAUNDRY OR FEE FRAUD? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT MR MURRAY, PLEASE.

PHIL MOORE

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: STOP EVERY COMMUNICATIONS WITH MR MOORE IMMEDIATELY

Sent: Mon, 02 Aug 2004 17:45:08 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

I cannot believe what you are telling me, that Mr Moore actually did that.

However, what will happen now is that I will write the security firm in Dublin and ask them to move the consignment back to Dublin or any of their affiliate offices and that I don't want it to be in Holland anymore. After then I will ask them to transfer the money to your bank account direct without any more delays. Because this transaction has taken time more than what I expected it.

Henceforth, stop any more communications with Mr Moore until I find out what he is trying to do with my money. Forward to me your bank account details which I will forward to the security firm in Dublin to transfer the money direct to your account immediately. And also forward to me your telephone in which I can be able to reach you immediately to discuss with you concerning this situation at hand.

I am looking forward in hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: The text of the WABITS report

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 09:27:16

Mr Moore,

So, you do not know how to download things on your computer? I told you last week that you should consider taking a course to learn how to use your computer properly. Your basic computer skills, in line with your literacy skills, are obviously seriously lacking.

This is the text of the WABITS report Miss Alia's bank sent to her:

WORLDWIDE AUTOMATIC BANKING INTELLIGENCE TRACKING SYSTEM (WABITS)

WABITS CLIENT: BARTLETTS BANK, 14 SLOCOMBE STREET, LINCOLN, UK

ACCOUNT STATUS REPORT

DATE: 02-08-2004
TIME: 16:14:32 GMT
ACCOUNT NO: 7291915
ACCOUNT NAME: LUISE MORRIS
BANK NAME: POST BANK, HOORN, NETHERLANDS
STATUS: 419 ALERT
DETAILS: ACCOUNT KNOWN TO BE USED BY "419" ADVANCE FEE FRAUDSTERS BASED IN NETHERLANDS. PROHIBIT ALL TRANSACTIONS INTO ACCOUNT. DUTCH AUTHORITIES AWARE AND MONITORING ACCOUNT. COVERT SURVEILLANCE OF EMAIL ONGOING. INDIVIDUALS KNOWN TO AUTHORITIES. ARRESTS REPORTED AS BEING IMMINENT.

ALL DATA COPYRIGHT WABITS 2004

Explain yourself Mr Moore. Why did you ask me to transfer money into an account that is known to the authorities as being used by advance fee fraudsters?

The only possible explanation I can think of is that you are a grubby little advance fee fraudster yourself. Well, are you?

Explain yourself, man, or I will send your details to the SIS and instruct them to send a crack team of operatives to hunt you down and shoot you like a dog.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: How do I know I can trust you?

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 09:39:52

Mr Bell,

I am in receipt of your email. How do I know I can trust you? If it turns out that this Moore character is indeed a contemptible low-life advance fee fraudster, how do I know that you are not one as well? Now that I have found out that Moore is a fraudster, you will have to prove yourself to me, Mr Bell, before I will go any further with this transaction.

If you are on the level, why on earth are you talking about moving the money from Amsterdam back to Dublin? Why not move it directly to London where I am, for God's sake? It doesn't make any sense man. Your story has more gaping holes in it than an Amsterdam brothel.

I have not yet passed your details onto the British intelligence services. If you can prove to me that you are not a crook, I will refrain from doing so.

But trust me, Mr Bell, Mr Moore is going down. Going down in a hail of bullets if I have my way. The SIS always get their man, and they never give up. Prove yourself to me if you want to avoid a similar fate.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: LOOK FORWARD SHE IS NOT MEMBER OF WABITS AT ALL

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 01:38:16 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR MURRAY,

I HAVE TO LET YOU KNOW ONE THING. NEXT MONTH I WILL BE 65 YEAS OLD. I HAVE BEEN IN THE BUSINESS FOR LONG TIME NOW. LUISE MORRIS HAS NOT BEEN AND IS NOT A MEMBER OF ANY CRIMINAL ACT AT ALL. BLESS ON HER RECORD.

I WENT AND ASKED LUISE MORRIS ABOUT THIS WABITS AND SHE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS HER EX-HUSBAND HAD THIS PROBLEM FOR THREE TO FOUR YEARS AGO WITH THIS KIND OF EVIL ACT. NOT EVEN HER. IT WAS BECAUSE OF THIS SHE GOT INTO DIVORCE. SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED WHEN I ASKED HER THIS SO.

MR MURRAY, I ASK YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE AT ALL BECAUSE IF THIS IS GOING LIKE THIS IS GOING TO SPOIL MY IMAGE PLEASE. AND FOR THE TIME I KEPT HER ON SUSPEND FOR NOW.

YOU KNOW THE KIND OF VALUE CONTENT YOU HAVE IS NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKING FROM HERE TO ANOTHER. SO THEREFORE YOU HAVE TO SEE HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR COUNTRY.

BY THE TIME YOU ARE THROUGH WITH ALL THIS I WILL SAY TO YOU I TOLD YOU SOMETHING LIKE THIS. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE IN PROBLEM MR MURRAY AND I WOULD NOT BE IN PROBLEM. I WANT YOU TO LOOK FORWARD. DON'T TURN BACK AT ALL. SUCCESS DON'T COME SO EASY.

PLEASE GET BACK TO ME NOW.

PHIL MOORE

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: PLEASE STOP THIS

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 01:50:48 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR MURRAY,

PLEASE DON'T THREATEN ME AT ALL. I DON'T KNOW ALL THIS YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND PLEASE DON'T INSULT ME. BECAUSE I WILL NOT DO THAT TO YOU.

PLEASE, I ASK WITH THE GOD OF ALMIGHTY, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT TO ME MR MURRAY. AND I AM NOT AN LITERACY. ENGLISH IS NOT MY LANGUAGE AT ALL. IS YOUR LANGUAGE.

PHIL MOORE

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: You are going down, Moore

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 10:19:57

Mr Moore,

These are not threats I am making; they are promises. I am not threatening to have you hunted down by the British intelligence services; I am promising to have you hunted down by the British intelligence services.

I have just been talking to Major General Tufty Bufton, the head of the SIS Internet Fraud Division. He has run your details through the computer, and has come up with a list of frauds you have been involved in, involving bogus security companies, lottery frauds and the like. The list is long: you have quite a history, don't you Mr Moore?

Major General Bufton tells me that their counterparts in the Dutch intelligence services have been monitoring your activities for some time now, and are aware of your whereabouts. He tells me it will be no problem for him to liase with Dutch intelligence and form a combined Anglo-Dutch force to take you down. All I have to do is to give them the go-ahead.

I would be worried if I were you, Moore. Seriously worried. You may have been able to defraud people in the past, but you picked on the wrong person this time, didn't you? It seems that your past is about to catch up with you, Moore.

Your pathetic cowardly pleading has so far had no effect on me. However, I will give you one last chance to prove to me that you are not a scummy little detestable advance fee fraudster.

This is your last chance Moore. Prove to me that you are for real, or I will get straight back to Tufty Bufton and set the wheels in motion.

Gilbert Murray MP

PS. You never know, a little more pathetic cowardly pleading might just do the trick. But you will have to beg me not to send the intelligence services after you.

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: How do I know I can trust you?

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 10:25:31 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

Thank you very much for your email and your words are well understood.

First, before we started this business I told you that trust should be our watchword and you should follow all my instructions so that we will not have a problem.

Secondly, I have tried to move the consignment but the security firm does not have an affiliate office in London.

Thirdly, I hate it when you mentioned fraudster in this business, for God's sake remove it from your mind because I will never put my hand in any such act.

Remember, I am a lawyer and a legal practitioner in London and I will not want in a situation whereby my certificate will be revoked from me as a legal practitioner.

Fourthly, I will now write the security firm in Dublin that I want the consignment back in Dublin as a matter of urgency.

Now, I will also need your own suggestion over this matter if it is OK by you because am not happy the way the whole thing is moving and we were supposed to have collected this consignment a long time ago.

I am looking forward in hearing from you as a matter or urgency in regards to the matter at hand.

Note: forward to me the number as I requested before.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: Words are not enough

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 10:45:27

Mr Bell,

Thank you for your email. I agree with you: trust should indeed be our watchword in this business. And trust was our watchword, until you put me in touch with that notorious advance fee fraudster, Philip Moore.

I had Major General Tufty Bufton, the head of the SIS Internet Fraud Division, run Moore's details through the computer this morning. He came up with a list of frauds in which Moore has been involved. The evidence is fairly conclusive.

So, Mr Moore is an advance fee fraudster. I have seen the proof with my own eyes. Major General Bufton showed me a number of emails that the SIS had intercepted, sent by Moore to advance fee fraud victims. All the details matched, from the telephone number Moore gave me to the same atrocious spelling mistakes and appalling grammar.

So I am sure you can understand why I need concrete proof that you are not one of Moore's gang. You say you are a legal practitioner and that you do not want your certificate to be revoked. Fine. Then send me a scanned copy of this certificate that proves you are who you say you are.

This is the only way you will be able to convince me, Mr Bell, and save yourself from the sorry fate that is soon going to befall Mr Moore.

I want to trust you. But after the revelations of the past two days, I need proof.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Philip Moore

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: YOU HAVE TO ANSWER QUERY, NOT ME. I AM INNOCENT

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 03:08:50 -0700 (PDT)

Mr Murray,

Why are you saying all this to me? You just have to ask yourself that this is the last mail am going to send to you Mr Murray. I am not going to beg you for not letting your intelligence know about me. This is your business, is not mine.

On Monday I will be in England for a meeting. If you want, tell them to come to your airport and wait for me. All I have to tell you, I will prove myself innocent. I am not a fraudster. I have told you all this so if you don't know, let me tell you.

You said that you are a Member of the British Parliament. It is you that are going to answer query, not me, as an MP you should know how to use words on people. And you know the kind of business you are doing. Maybe you don't know.

Just stop saying all this to me if you don't want to be in a problem. Stop threatening me. Just stop it. Otherwise you have to be investigated by the MIPS.

I think I don't have business with you anymore. I am going to send your consignment back to Dublin so you have to discuss that with your friend Mr Bell.

PHIL MOORE

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: Call me now and we can sort this out

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 11:25:47

Mr Moore,

I am in receipt of your email. Although I have seen the documentary evidence against you and it is quite compelling, I will give you one last chance to prove your innocence.

I am now back at Ivan Tashag's club for an early lunch. Call me here now so that we can talk man to man about this situation.

Call me now on +44 (0) xxx xxxxxxx. As I am here as Mr Tashag's guest once more, please ask the receptionist, Miss Hoare, for Ivan Tashag rather than asking for me by name. Miss Hoare will put the call through to Mr Tashag, who will then put you on to me.

Call me now Moore. Let us sort this out on the telephone.

Gilbert Murray MP

That's the number of the dubious-sounding "gentlemen's club" again.

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Take heart Mr Murray

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 13:33:54 +0100

Thanks for your email but you know is not possible for me to send you the copy of my certificate.

I have indeed been telling you that you should trust me in this business and you know that I cannot involve myself with any type of thing like that as you are saying.

However, you know the risk involved in this business that we should not make it open to people to know what we are doing.

So I will advise you to take it like that as you have taken the decision you have taken against Mr Moore. Is OK by me.

Let me have your word that everything is OK now and I should go ahead in returning the consignment back to Dublin for you to collect it there.

In fact, I will want you to know that you will be going to Dublin by next week for the collection of the consignment from the security firm.

Meanwhile, am very sorry for all you have suffered through in this business.

I am looking forward in hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Philip Moore

Subject: You've blown it, Moore. Watch your back

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 13:42:51

Mr Moore,

That's it. You've blown it. I have been sitting here at Ivan Tashag's club waiting for you to call, but Miss Hoare has informed me that nobody has called for me at all.

I have had enough of you. I am going to contact the SIS this afternoon and give them the go-ahead to hunt you down, Mr Moore.

The SIS's operatives are so highly trained that you won't even know they're coming for you, Moore. It will come right out of the blue. A single shot. Right in the back of the head.

That will teach you to mess around with a British MP.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: Why can't you send me a copy of your certificate?

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 13:48:51

Mr Bell,

Why can't you send me a copy of your certificate? Is it because it doesn't exist, by any chance?

You will have to do better than that if you are going to persuade me that you are not in league with Moore and his gang.

Incidentally, I have just passed on Moore's details to the SIS. I can confidently say that Mr Moore is now a dead man. It does not pay to mess with a British MP.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Let us move forward

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 16:03:19 +0100

Mr Gilbert Murray,

You have to understand what I am talking about.

Please, if you want us to move forward in this business you have to forget what happened and let me know how you will get the fund from the security firm in Dublin immediately they return it to Dublin.

Thank you for your understanding.

Am very busy for now with my client waiting to see me in my office.

I am looking forward in hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: You must prove to me that you are not a fraudster

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 16:14:37

Mr Bell,

I repeat, why can't you send me a copy of your certificate, or any other legal document that proves that you are who you say you are?

I trusted Moore and he turned out to be a fraudster, something that he is soon to pay for with his life. Since you are the person who put me in touch with him, surely you can understand why I am now dubious about you as well?

If you can send me a copy of an identification document that proves you are who you say you are, that is all it will take for me to believe you and move forward with our transaction.

If you cannot provide me with such a document, I will have to assume that you are an advance fee fraudster too. In that case, I would have no choice but to pass your details onto the SIS as well as Moore's. If they found out that you were a fraudster, they would pursue you as well for attempting to defraud a Member of Her Majesty's Parliament. And the SIS do not stop until they get their man, dead or alive. That would be most unfortunate.

Get back to me by return, Mr Bell, and prove yourself to me. Or else suffer the same fate that awaits Moore.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I WILL GET BACK TO YOU WITH ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

Sent: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 18:43:55 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

I quite understand the situations of things and the nature of your person based on this smooth transaction which suddenly became something that has been a thing of doubt. Well I will prove myself to you as you required, because I hate to hear that name (FRAUD/SCAM).

I got your mail very late, that is why I can't be able to scan anything now, but at my due time I will make available all you ask for, for a better proof of my person and identity. Moreso, I will like to alert you on this that this transaction will come to an end at a very peaceful time, but before then I will like to prove to you that only but TRUST can facilitate this within the time period. Only what you have to do is to re-establish that trust that we both have for each other.

You know, in a thing like this which came up all of a sudden, you can't just flash the blame on me for just no reason, only what they were to offer us was their service, but along the line it was very unfortunate that they messed up the chance. If you must know, it was as a result of the stocktaking that was going on in Dublin, that was why the consignment was moved to Holland which I believe. Let's just reason together, this not time to flash blames on each other.

The good news now is that after my discussions with the CEO of the security company, he promised to move down the consignment with the aid of other consignments they have coming from the US. Probably they will stop over at Holland to pick it along, but he as well told me that the cost of this arrangement will be at your own expense, but I assured him that all the expenses taken as the result of bringing back your consignment will be taken care of.

We shall now reschedule this transaction method, to avoid any further blames and doubt. Let us deal directly with the security company directives to avoid complicating matters again just to save peace and trust. I am anticipating for your urgent reply, but before then reason fine about this breakout of trust.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James Bell

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: Send me a copy of your certificate

Sent: Wed, 04 Aug 2004 10:55:27

Mr Bell,

Send me a copy of the certificate that proves you are a lawyer and not an advance fee fraudster.

Then, and only then, will I be willing to continue this business with you.

Do not forget what I told you: if you do not send me a copy of this certificate, I will have to assume that you are a fraudster, and I will therefore have to pass your details onto the British intelligence services and have them hunt you down.

I am waiting for your certificate.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: I am still waiting for a copy of your certificate

Sent: Wed, 04 Aug 2004 15:42:46

Mr Bell,

I am still waiting for a copy of your certificate. What is the reason for the delay in sending it to me? Are you having to wait for the ink to dry, or are you still at the spell-checking stage?

If you want us to move forward with this transaction, and if you want to avoid the carbon-tipped fate that awaits Mr Moore around the next corner, send it to me immediately, Mr Bell.

Gilbert Murray MP

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: YOUR REQUEST CERTIFICATE

Sent: Wed, 04 Aug 2004 17:58:09 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

This is just a revelation of confidentials that I am giving out to you, but you must avoid making use of it for the purpose that is not meant for, to avoid charging you for impersonation.

I just came back from court not quite long ago. I have been away on a crucial case that needs my attention so much. Well, I don't need to go into details about that.

For the best of your satisfactions and to prove to you that it took me more than what is has taken to acquire this certificate, this association was established by Act of Parliament under the British Council of Law and Justice.

Well, the daybreak has unfolded another good news, your consignment is now at the security company in Dublin. This is just to alert you that we have no other time to waste now, but to contact the company in charge for a reliable and legal means of making this transaction. Please, to avoid breaking the law of any country and that of the security company, you must work with the directives provided for you.

Let's just use this time to re-establish the TRUST for each other to enable us to work without fear for one another. I will relate to you with the new development from the company, but before then, take care of yourself and your family.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Bell

Subject: I see now that you can be trusted

Sent: Thu, 05 Aug 2004 10:03:51

Dear Mr Bell,

Thank you for sending me a copy of your membership certificate of the British Bar Association. And what a fine certificate it is. It must have taken you quite some time.

I mean, of course, that it must have taken you quite some time to study for the examinations that were required in order to obtain this certificate.

I must say, Mr Bell, you have a remarkably good scanner. There is not a single mark on this certificate to show that it has been scanned in; it is almost perfect. One might almost think that it had not been scanned in at all, but had instead been produced using a computer graphics package. My scanner gives terrible results compared to yours, and seeing your scanned certificate makes me think I ought to buy myself a new one. Tell me, Mr Bell, what make and model of scanner do you use to produce such outstanding results?

Well, I see now that you can be trusted. I would like to offer my most sincere apologies for thinking that you could possibly be an advance fee fraudster. It is a good job you are not: Major General Tufty Bufton contacted me first thing this morning and told me that he had already assembled a crack team of operatives to hunt down this "Philip Moore" character. Apparently the Dutch authorities are giving SIS their full support, and due to my contacts in high places, the Dutch government has given the SIS full permission to operate freely on Dutch soil.

So don't worry, my friend. It won't be long before "Philip Moore", this odious character who tried to defraud both of us, is caught up with and gunned down by a squad of professionally-trained ruthless hitmen.

Back to business. I am pleased to hear that the consignment is now back in Dublin. Where do we go from here? I should be able to fly over to Dublin one day next week if that is convenient.

Incidentally, I must let you know that I will not be available this weekend. I am spending the weekend with Janet Alia, helping her out with some work in her garden.

She had some workmen in last week to lay new drainage to her property, and unfortunately they have left the job half-finished: they have laid the drains, but have not filled in the hole. Miss Alia also tells me that the soil in her borders needs a good going over with a garden fork. I am looking forward to filling Miss Alia's hole and to a good forking session in her garden. I have no doubt that it will be hard, sweaty work, but it should be enjoyable all the same.

Get back to me as soon as you can, Mr Bell, and let me know what our next step is.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray MP

From: James Bell

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: ALL IS WELL

Sent: Thu, 05 Aug 2004 19:04:47 +0100

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

Well I will like to tell you how honest I had been throughout my life, and will always be till the earth take me back. I owe you nothing in this transaction, but to be honest to you, because I know how hurt it used to be when one has been defrauded or scammed, though I have treated several cases like that before, but thank God that this is full of genuine.

Nevertheless, I will like to inform you that your moving to Dublin is very much at hand, but I will not advise you to go now without the documents authenticating this claim to the best of trust. You will be handed over the consignment upon your arrival after some signing of documents of handover.

What do you have to show indicating that you are the real beneficiary? That is change of ownership certificate. This document has to be signed by some top officials as a witness showing that this money rightfully belong to you legally.

As a matter of urgency, you will be required to send some money to enable me prepare these documents (change of ownership) before you proceed to Dublin next week. The certificate of deposit is here with me as I earlier told you, but with the change of ownership, this will definitely be a foul play. The amount is 2,700.

Please, I will be going to court first thing in the morning because of the case I told you that I have in the law court. I assure you that everything is under control, my secretary will go to the bank to cash it first thing tomorrow morning as soon as you make the transfer via Western Union money transfer.

Her details:

Name: Tina Sama

Please send the informations to her mailbox to enable her to go and cash it immediately. Her email address is tina_sama2004@yahoo.com.

Just do this because my engagement in the court tomorrow that is just it my brother.

Well if you must know, the scanner in use is HP Deskjet 1200, very good I must tell you.

I will update you of what is the next step, because I will have to contact the security firm to stop counting the demurrage, so as to help us for not paying much more than expected.

I will be looking forward to hearing from you ASAP.

Sincerely yours,

Barrister James L Bell

Click here to view the concluding part of this scambust.

The Member of Parliament(part 2 of 3)

The Member of Parliament
(part 2 of 3)