Thank you for your email. I am afraid that you have confused me somewhat. I am familiar with the FM waveband, but I am afraid that I do not understand what "BBC.VOA.RFRC" is. Is this the name of a waveband, or is this the name of a radio station that you listen to? Please clarify if it is the name of a radio station, please inform me which waveband it appears on: longwave, mediumwave or shortwave?

I am keen to purchase you a radio that will be of some use to you when we have completed our business, then each time you turn it on and tune into your favourite religious programme, you will be able to think of me.

Now then, regarding these so-called "gifts". To quote the email you sent me yesterday, you stated that "we are giving them a bribe to work for us". There. You quite plainly, clearly and unambiguously suggested that we should bribe these officials. Shame on you, Mr Micheal, for suggesting such a despicable course of action.

Anyway, what makes you think that the good men at the ministries would accept a bribe? We are talking about respectable men, with high-profile jobs in the public eye. I am confident that they would not allow their keen and impartial judgement to be swayed by the offer of a few shiny electrical baubles. You may be willing to work for a bribe, Mr Micheal, but do not sully the reputation of these gentlemen by tarring them with the same brush.

Let us hear no more about this bribery nonsense. It hurts my sensibilities even to consider such a base course of action.

Now then, get back to me with clarification about precisely which wavebands you can pick up in Togo, and I shall look out for a suitable wireless while I am away this weekend.

May God himself give Jesus a hand as he washes your mouth out with soap and water for trying once again to persuade me to bribe someone.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: EXPLANATION FROM JAMES

Sent: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 10:24:20 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

Your mail was received and the content well understood. The prescribed stations are not the name of radio, but stations that we receive here too: "BBC.VOA.RFRC". They are longwave stations. We also receive them here in Togo and in all West African countries too.

You can buy any one that is your choice that can be OK by you, and it will be OK by me too.

Coming to the part you said I was pressurising you to send the gift as a bribe, I did not mean it that way, but if you cannot be able to that, there is no problem. All I was just trying to do is to bring back a very good reputation in between us and the chief authorities of these ministries. But as you said, you can forget that since it does not mean much at all.

I like your idea as well. It may look as a bribe to them, but you know that I cannot give them a bribe in any way at all.

Thank you for your mail and may the Almighty give us a way to come to the end of this transaction and to achieve our aims.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: Radios

Sent: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 12:06:42

Dear Mr Micheal,

I am pleased to be able to tell you that I had a marvellous weekend at the Church of England conference on "Using Jumble Sales as an Ecumenical Device". I picked up some excellent ideas on how to foster greater understanding between various religions and sects, which I am sure will come in useful: although Gypping in the Marsh is only a small village, I am aware that several of its inhabitants are members of other faiths.

Ever the man of action, I intend to put what I have learned into practice and hold an inter-faith jumble sale next weekend. As well as inviting the members of my own congregation, I shall also be inviting the Buddhists, the Jainists, the Jews, the Muslims, the Sikhs, the Taoists and the Zoroastrians. Who knows, if the accompanying tea and cake stall is good enough, we may even be able to convert a few of these poor misguided infidels.

As this is such a good cause, perhaps you would like to donate something towards the jumble sale, Mr Micheal? You must have some old clothes or shoes hanging around in the back of your wardrobe. Or perhaps you have some old moth-eaten lawyer's wigs and gowns that you do not use any more? Whatever you can donate will be gratefully received. Have a look tonight, there's a good chap, and send anything you can spare by courier to me at Hemlock Cottage. God will thank you for your generosity, and your wife will probably thank you for having a bit of a clear out.

Now then, back to business. I managed to pop into an electrical shop on Saturday during our lunch break and have a good look at the radios on offer. I am sure that most of the radios on sale over here would suit our purposes admirably. However, I had almost decided which radio set to purchase, when a salesman came over and introduced me to the delights of digital radio (DAB), something I had never heard of before. The chap gave me a demonstration. I have to tell you Mr Micheal, I was mightily impressed with both the sound quality and the range of stations on offer. If Jesus had owned a radio, I thought to myself, it would have been a digital radio.

I nearly bought one there and then, but I thought it was best to check first whether or not digital radio broadcasts have reached Togo yet: apparently it is something of an emerging technology. I asked the salesman whether a digital radio would work in Togo, but unfortunately his knowledge of available stations was somewhat limited, and did not extend to the African continent. Tell me, Mr Micheal, do you receive digital radio (DAB) in Togo? If you do, I think I shall purchase you a digital radio rather than a conventional analogue one: we must move with the times, must we not?

Do let me know whether or not you can receive digital radio in Togo, and give me an idea of what you will be sending me for my jumble sale this weekend. Whatever you do decide to send, it's probably worth getting it to the courier no later than tomorrow evening, to ensure that it gets to me in time. We don't want it arriving late now, do we? That would not do at all.

May God be at your side as you sort through your old clothes tonight and help you decide what to send me.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: URGENTLY MY DEAR

Sent: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 12:35:38

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I got your mail and understand all that was in it, but you see we do not have time to waste again much like that, for I want everything to get set this week and to take these treasures out from the security company. You are advised to buy any one that is of your choice. If the digital radio, fine, if an analogue one, it is also fine, for there is no kind of station we do not receive here since we can also get the voice of BBC. It works everywhere.

I will let you know what to send to you when I get home and pick what I can. Let there be more hurry in this and get this out so that someone can still do some other things, for there is no longer time left much with us. The penalty that was paid to the ministries is not in joy with me, for that fund could have been used for other things that could mean more to mankind.

May God be with us on this and help us to get this out as soon as possible. We have only a few days with the security company.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

James Micheal

Note: in times like this you do call me on and make the verification on what you need instantly. May God help you out in more other things to get set for this.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I fully appreciate the urgency of the situation

Sent: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 16:18:52

Dear Mr Micheal,

Thank you for your email. I would like to assure you that I fully appreciate the urgency of the situation. Indeed, I have done ever since September. With this in mind, I will travel into town tomorrow morning and purchase a radio set to send to you.

Don't worry; I will make sure that I pick a nice one. At the moment I cannot decide whether to purchase a Panasonic JT-204 Waverider, or a Sony SRA-419 Scanmaster: they both offer a good range of wavebands and both have excellent reception and sound quality. I will compare prices at the various electrical shops in town tomorrow. Tell me, do you have any preference as regards colour, by the way? The Panasonic comes in either silver or grey, but as far as I know, the Sony model is only available in black.

Regarding my inter-faith jumble sale, thank you ever so much for agreeing to sort out some old clothes to send to me. You truly are a remarkable individual, Mr Micheal. I look forward to hearing precisely what you are going to send me later today.

May Jesus personally bless every item of second-hand clothing that you decide to package up and donate to my jumble sale.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: GOD BE WITH US

Sent: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 18:00:52

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I appreciate your kindness in all things you decide to do for me and I thank you for that, but one thing you have to understand is that I am a lawyer and I am working for you in this transaction. There is one thing you do not know that happens here and what I am passing through with these bodies that are withholding the two documents that we are in request for through them.

These are government people and I have been in waving issues with them in order to make them to be in a very patient mind with me. I am working and tackling everything alone here and I know what I am passing through with them. Please do not feel we are in a playing movement. I want you to buy any one you like. SONY is OK by me. Any colour is preferable.

I have been with the security company today for I believe in a short while we are going to pick those documents out from the ministries' offices, and I will make sure that everything with the security company is under control so as to make the clearance with them, and as soon as the documents have been submitted to them it will not take much time to clear the treasures out from their company.

I will be waiting to hear from you by tomorrow and I will be preparing this night to sort the kind of things that I will send to you.

May the Almighty God be with each and every one of us till the end of this premise, Amen.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James

Note: the Reverend Pastor sent me a mail today telling me of the delaying things that is going on at India with the flight they are supposed to arrive back with, but due to the delay he has decided to take another route to South Africa and then he will get to town by Wednesday this week. Please, I want to get the formation with the security company already before he gets back to town. That means you have to help me as fast as you can to get things moving on.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I shall purchase a radio this morning

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 07:28:25

Dear Mr Micheal,

Thank you for your email, and for indicating your preference for the type of radio you would like. I shall travel into town this morning and purchase a Sony SRA-419 Scanmaster for you.

I expect to hear back from you this morning with a list of the items that you are going to send me as a donation towards my inter-faith jumble sale. Remember, I need these items by the weekend, so you need to send them to me by courier by the end of today at the very latest.

Please send me the list of items by return, and send me the details of the courier shipment so that I can track it online. I expect to receive this by the end of the day.

May Jesus watch over us both today in everything we do.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: ADVISE

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 12:17:41

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I just came back from the courier services to make preference of what it will take me to send the item I promised, but the price they are requesting is very high that I cannot be able to pay that for now, as I have your work very hard on me now that I have to be paying a lot to get to the ministries and to the security company offices.

I need to do a lot of running around to make sure that everything is under control before the Pastor comes back from the trip. I have only but few money with me left as I have not been given a dime for this transaction, only based on the promises the Pastor made to me before leaving for his trip.

I shall look for an alternative to make the sending if by mail post, only you said you need those things this weekend. I could have sent them, but only it will take two to three weeks by post.

Please, I am waiting to hear from you on the transaction. We have to make sure that we acquire time and meet up.

Yours faithfully,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I am extremely disappointed in you

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 12:34:48

Dear Mr Micheal,

I have just read the email you sent me this morning. I have to say, my dear fellow, that I am extremely disappointed in you. You promised me that you would sort out some items and send them to me for my inter-faith jumble sale this weekend. But now you are going back on your promise.

Unless you are planning to send me weightlifting equipment or ornamental rocks for the jumble sale, surely the courier service cannot be charging all that much? You are supposed to be a barrister, my dear fellow. Surely you cannot be destitute? You must have some money put to one side for emergencies such as these.

I have to say, Mr Micheal, I feel extremely let down by you. How can I trust someone who goes back on a promise as you have just done?

I travelled into town this morning and purchased a fine-looking Sony SRA-419 Scanmaster radio set to send to you. I am just about to test it out to ensure that it works properly. However, now that you have let me down so dreadfully, I am not sure that I want to send you the money in the back of the radio any more. I am more than upset: I am hurt, my dear chap. This jumble sale is extremely important to me. How could you let me down like this?

I urge you to reconsider, Mr Micheal. Send me the goods for my jumble sale by courier this afternoon and let me have the courier information so that I can track the shipment, or I shall have to think twice about sending you the radio. Could you not borrow the money off that nice Mr Ukoha?

May the Good Lord show you the error of your ways.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am extremely disappointed in you

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 05:13:37 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I did not mean to hurt you like that as you feel I want you to understand me.

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: UNDERSTANDING REVEREND GILBERT

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 06:02:34 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

My last mail did not come completed. I know you observed it. I was trying to let you know the way you feel on me is not the way it is. I have been using my private money to implement you peoples' transaction in many ways and without the presence of the Pastor around.

You see Reverend Gilbert, it is not that I cannot get you what you wanted from me, it is only that your programme has cost me so much money that if I had the chance to tell you initially to send me some money from your end, I would not know how you could have felt. You see the last time you requested a way to send the fund to the ministries and I had to send to you some little one that I have.

You telling me that you are disappointed in me makes me to feel that all my endeavours have not been acknowledged by you, and all my effort. I had some things to send to you already, only that I have run out of cash since I have been using my private money into you peoples' projects.

The more delay of all this is to put I myself into more work and suffering too. I will send you some things in some other way that can take about eight days instead of two weeks, but that is by registered mail, and you know it is only used clothing. At the same time I want to ask if the programme will still take place by next weekend, then I will send the item by that of the express mail direct to you.

It seems you always get upset very fast, and as a man of God as you are, I believe you should have a quiet mind since you do the work of God As we work together you should understand me please, my dear good fellow. And I don't want the Pastor to hear that because of this that your transaction was delayed, as we know that we are running out of time.

Get you to understand me as God will take care of everything that remains, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: The Lord will find a way

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 16:06:03

Dear Mr Micheal,

You have upset me deeply, by promising to send me items for my jumble sale via courier, and then going back on your words. This inter-faith jumble sale is not only hugely important to me, it is also hugely important to the spiritual wellbeing and cohesion of the entire village of Gypping in the Marsh. I see this jumble sale as marking a turning point, nay, a new beginning for the people of the parish. My jumble sale will bring together people of all religions, cultures and creeds, and unify them in the House of God, in an atmosphere of love, understanding, tea and biscuits.

I have purchased a very fine Sony SRA-419 Scanmaster radio, just for you. I took pains to find the nicest radio I could, and it wasn't cheap, I can tell you. Why did I go to all this trouble, rather than simply purchase the first radio that I came across? I'll tell you why. Because I care about you, Mr Micheal. Because I wanted you to have a nice radio so that you would think of me with fondness each time you tuned into your favourite hymn-singing programme.

I am about to send this lovely radio to you with 16,000 of my parishioners' hard-earned money concealing within the casing. Is it really too much to ask in return, to ask you to send me some of your old clothes and silly wigs via courier?

You say you have no money to pay the courier. If you are finding it hard to raise the money, pray to the Lord for help and advice. The Lord will listen, and the Lord will find a way. Have you done as I suggested and asked that nice Mr Ukoha to loan you the money?

I remain deeply upset, Mr Micheal. I need these old clothes from you by the end of the week. Sending them by courier is the only way to ensure that I will get them in time. Make haste to the courier office, Mr Micheal. Redeem yourself in my eyes (and in the Lord's eyes) by sending me your old clothes by courier. Only then can we move forward.

May Jesus wipe the tears from my eyes as I weep.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 17:00:01

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I got your mail after I came back from the way trying to look for money to send you the items that I promised you. Honestly, I do lie (sic) and I cannot for I have suffered too much about this transaction alone. There is only one person who can try to help me out and that person is my only sister, who is married at Ghana with the husband and that have to take me to that country by tomorrow.

If I have to go to Ghana by tomorrow it will take almost the day to come back to this country, the assurance of that I do not want to upset you more may not be guaranteed, for if you can remember the email I sent to you when the security company needed their processing fees, it was her that gave me the funds to do that after all promises that I made to her, and she have to let the husband to know about it, then after explaining to the husband the fund was given to me and it was taken to the security company.

I know how you may feel about this, but you have to forgive me for not being in the position to do this to reach to your requirements of sending the items for you. Remember again the fund I sent to you. I looked for funds to accomplish your wants, but it is only the most high, the maker of heaven and earth that knows the truth of what I am saying. Please forgive me for this on what I have caused you on this.

Immediately I sent you the last mail I had to go to Mr Ukoha and to many others, both at the ministries and to some of the people that have been with me in help all this time the Reverend have not been around, and they could not raise much for me. The clients that I have been handling their work, because of this transaction which I believe it will give me much at the end of it, I have not been tackling their cases much and many of them have retrieved their cases from my chambers, for I have to put much interest and more power to it so that you people will achieve your wants.

This money have stayed at that security company for much time. Let us fight and lift these treasures out from them and face other things that relate to life.

The other person who could have helped me out is your partner who is away for a moment and I just had to explain things to you so that you could understand my very real point to this.

May God bless you for your understanding and forgiving me for not doing this. I promise you it will not happen next time, I bet you. I beg to end and wait for your response towards the transaction we have also.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I cannot believe that you have no money whatsoever

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 17:45:15

Dear Mr Micheal,

I am still deeply upset by your refusal to stand by your word and send me some articles for my inter-faith jumble sale. I was counting on your donation to add something a little bit different to the jumble sale: your dusty, shabby old clothes and moth-eaten old lawyer's wigs and gowns would have been a great contrast to the clothes I usually receive as donations for my jumble sales.

I simply cannot believe that you have no money whatsoever to pay the couriers. You must have some money. If not, how can you afford to eat? How can you afford to pay the charges at the internet cafe in which you are currently seated? I have never in my life heard of a lawyer being short of money; the phrase "poor lawyer" is a contradiction in terms, my dear fellow.

There is still time. If you send me your clothes by courier tomorrow, I will still receive them in time for the jumble sale on Saturday (although I will probably not have time to give them the thorough wash and delousing that they probably need).

There must be some way you can raise the money. Use your initiative, Mr Micheal. I have a shiny new radio here, waiting to be sent to you. Courier some of your old clothes to me as you promised you would do, then I will forgive you for upsetting me and going back on your word, and I will send the radio to you forthwith.

May God, the Son and the Holy Ghost all get together and help you to do what you have to do.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Dr David Cojoh

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very urgent to attend

Sent: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 21:31:20

Dear Gilbert Murray,

This day have been acknowledged as the beginning day of grace this company will give as the formation of our company has been ordered, and if there is any more delay the authority of this firm will penalise you for the delay of forwarding the acknowledgement of change of the formation of ownership of the treasures that have been deposited to our company.

Your lawyer was invited to our company this evening for the notification of the said delay of the two documents that are required for the change of ownership by this security company (PROVIDENCE SECURITY COMPANY) here in Lome, Togo. He could not give to us the said reasoning of the delay, which he, your solicitor, could not produce the documents that are required for the claim of these said treasures that have been with our company for a long time now.

We hereby give you the chance to act on this. If you could act on this, that means your treasures will be marked as delayed detective objects as the formations of this authority are required by order that abide this company.

The authority will place a stamp of delay claim as at the time of the said paid processing fees of the period.

You are now advised to come up with the said documents for final endorsement and clearance for lifting of the treasures.

We wait for your earliest response as is required by the authority of this company.

Yours faithfully,

Dr David Cojoh

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: BACK FROM MY TRIP

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 04:47:45

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME,

My dear lovely brother; how are you and everything about you; I hope all is well with you?

I just arrived this early morning from South Africa, on where I made another flight scheduled to get to town to know how everything has been moving on.

Please, my dear good fellow, I want you to tell me the details of everything that has been going on in my absence.

The crusade was so marvellous and many people were turned to our lovely God and accepted our Lord Jesus Christ as their Lord and personal saviour. The place was still too local and their traditional and religious practices have led these people away so much that so many of them don't even want to know God in the right way.

Their festival just ended the last two days. I believe that was the real cause of the flight delay from West Africa. I am back my dear. I want you to give every information on what the stage of things you have observed during my absence to India, as I will call on my lawyer to give to me the relative things that has been going on by himself as well.

I will go to have a little rest for now and am hoping to get back to know what the formations has been in my absence.

May God bless you and let him be with us till the end of this transaction in Jesus name, Amen.

Best regards,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr David Cojoh

Subject: In response to your email

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 09:55:24

Dear Dr Cojoh,

Thank you for your email. It was lovely to hear from you again. I trust you are keeping well.

Unfortunately, I have to tell you that I was rather confused by your email. You used a great many words in it, but you appear to have failed to use some of them in the correct order. Some of your spelling was also rather suspect. Therefore, I am afraid that you failed to get your point (whatever it may have been) across.

Could I therefore respectfully ask you to clarify precisely what you meant please? Perhaps it would be an idea to seek assistance from someone with a slightly better grasp of English than you have.

I look forward to hearing back from you as soon as possible.

May Jesus guide your hands as they move across your computer keyboard and prompt you to press the right keys at the right time.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: I am delighted to hear from you

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 09:57:08

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear from you, my dear fellow. It sounds like you had a splendid time in India. Well done for converting all those people to the one true faith. God will be pleased at all the new recruits you are bringing on board.

You asked for an update on what has been going on in your absence. Well, I have been a busy fellow too, my dear chap. We celebrated the feast day of Saint Bodkin a few weeks ago. That feast day is one of the main events in the Gypping in the Marsh calendar, and the whole village was involved in making preparations for the feast and the accompanying celebrations. Then last weekend, I attended a Church of England conference on "Using Jumble Sales as an Ecumenical Device". That was extremely useful, and I am currently in the middle of organising my own inter-faith jumble sale, which is due to take place this weekend. More on this later.

Regarding the progress of our transaction, I am afraid we are no further forward. As you know, I attempted to transfer the 16,000 to Mr Micheal's personal bank account just as you were leaving for India. However, my bank placed an automatic stop on the transfer, as they were concerned that Mr Micheal's account was implicated in fraud of some sort. I can only assume that the poor fellow has been the victim of identity theft, which seems to be increasingly common nowadays.

I then suggested to Mr Micheal that I could hand over the money to one of his contacts in London. I thought this would be the perfect way to ensure that the money got to Mr Micheal. However, this idea came to nothing.

After this, Mr Micheal suggested that I travel to London and transfer the money to him via two Western Union agents in the capital. We tried this, but unfortunately I discovered that the maximum amount that one is allowed to transfer to Togo in a single transaction is 500 (this explains why my previous attempts to transfer the money via Western Union failed), and we calculated that to transfer the entire amount in this way would be both impractical and prohibitively expensive.

Mr Micheal then suggested that I send him the money in the back of a radio set. I have purchased the radio set and was ready to send it to him. However, I am sorry to have to say that Mr Micheal then let me down in a big way. He had promised to send me some of his old clothes as a donation towards my inter-faith jumble sale this weekend, but he went back on his word. He came up with the excuse that he could not afford to pay the courier fees to get the clothes to me in time.

I was deeply hurt and upset by Mr Micheal's actions: this jumble sale is extremely important to me. We are therefore at an impasse. I have told Mr Micheal that I will send him the money in the back of the radio as soon as he couriers his old clothes to me, as he promised he would do.

Perhaps you could help us out of this situation, my dear fellow? Mr Micheal is pleading poverty, so perhaps you could lend him the money to pay the courier company? I see this as the only possible solution to the situation in which we now find ourselves.

Please get back to me as soon as you can, my dear fellow, and confirm that you will lend Mr Micheal the money he needs to courier his old clothes to me today. The success of our transaction, and of my jumble sale, hangs in the balance.

May the Good Lord show us the way to move forward.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: Have you managed to raise the money to pay the courier yet?

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 12:09:38

Dear Mr Micheal,

Good day to you. How are things going at your end? Have you managed to raise the money to pay the courier yet, so that you can keep the promise that you made to me?

I received an email from Reverend Oshimolowo this morning. The dear fellow was asking me how things were going. I have given him a full update, so he is now aware of the current situation. I mentioned the current parlous state of your finances to Reverend Oshimolowo, and suggested that maybe he could lend you the money you need to pay the courier firm. Considering the amount of time he seems to spend jetting around the world saving souls, he must have the odd groat to spare. Why not ask him for a short term loan?

I also received an email this morning from Dr Cojoh. He mentioned that you had visited him last night at the security company. I trust you both had a jolly nice chat. Unfortunately, Dr Cojoh's command of English is not what it could be, and I could not understand what he was trying to say in the rest of his email. I sent him a reply and asked him to clarify things, but he has not got back to me yet.

Everyone in the village is busily preparing for this weekend's inter-faith jumble sale. However, we are in desperate need of more clothes, so I really am relying on your donation. Do try your best to send it to me via courier before the end of the day, won't you?

Regarding your radio, I am listening to it right now. It really is a fine piece of equipment, with excellent reception and sound quality to match. I shall miss it once I have sent it on to you. Perhaps I shall have to purchase one for myself with the proceeds of this transaction.

May Jesus be the wind beneath your wings.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: Do you want me to send you this money or not?

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 17:07:23

Dear Mr Micheal,

I am concerned not to have heard from you today. Is everything alright, my dear fellow? I can only presume that you are not well: after all, you have repeatedly impressed upon me the urgency of our current situation, so I cannot think of any other reason that would explain your failure to respond to my emails.

On the other hand, perhaps you have not yet responded to my emails because you have spent the entire day trying to raise enough money to send me some of your old clothes in time for my inter-faith jumble sale. If so, well done, my dear fellow. I admire your initiative and your devotion to duty.

However, time is pressing, my dear chap. If we are going to retrieve the $25 million from the security company, we need action, and we need it now. Without this $25 million, there is no way I will be able to restore my unusually large organ back to full working order. It is deteriorating more with each day that passes, and I cannot wait to have the loving hands of a craftsman hard at work on my enormous organ. So let us have no more delays from your end.

So, do you want me to send you this money or not? If so, please get back to me immediately and let us start the ball rolling. Your radio awaits.

May the Good Lord prompt you to respond to your emails with a touch more urgency.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: TAKE MY ADVICE

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 18:56:45

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

My dear good fellow, Rev Gilbert Murray,

I got your mail in the morning. By then I was with the lawyer already at the time your mail came forth, so after passing it through I have to travel to the ministries and as well the security company to know the real thing that makes the delay of this transaction.

At the Ministry of Justice, I found out that the delay of this was the remaining additional fund. At the Chamber of Commerce and Ministry of Contracts it was the same thing, but at the security company it was different from that of the other ministries' offices.

How can such a thing be happening and keeping this delaying? On that, I thought as long as I came into Togo that I will make with my power to lift this treasure out from the security company down to England so that I can have time to make some other things that pertain to life.

When I read your mail, that it was because he have not sent you his clothes that are worn out to you. Is that the reason why you have to delay this transaction? Do you know that I myself is going to entrust this fund into your hands for the time when God will need it, and that need is for the humanitarian purposes that I want you to implement it to. What will I myself take you for?

The young man had tried his best to see that this treasure had been pushed out from Togo to England, and you have not been compromising with him. As I see it, you have not been having trust in him, for I read some of the mails that make him annoyed and had to make reasons into it. It is you and I that are having something together and you are supposed to have been giving me complaints about what that goes around as your contact.

The most of his annoyance is that he said he told you he did not have money and you was uncompromising with him, and did not believe him.

Now I have to beg him, for he said that I have to pay him for the period of the time and the funds he has implemented into this, of what I have been telling him to keep the receipts of all this.

I WANT YOU TO BEG FOR HIM TO COME.

I remain,

Rev Pastor Matthew

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: You have confused me now

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 19:31:52

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email. I am sorry to say that you have confused me somewhat. You are asking me to beg Mr Micheal "to come". What do you mean by this? From where do you want him to come? Or do you mean that the poor man is in need of sexual relief? If so, I have to say that this is not a very fitting subject to bring up between two men of the church. Please clarify what you meant.

I am as keen as you are to obtain this $25 million. However, Mr Micheal let me down very badly over the matter of my inter-faith jumble sale. I am deeply hurt and upset by this. If Mr Micheal apologises for letting me down and breaking his promise to me, I will be willing to move forward and send him the money that he needs to pass on to the ministries. After all, nothing is more important to me than my unusually large organ.

Please pass this information on to Mr Micheal. If he apologises to me by return, I am prepared to forgive him for breaking his promise to me, and I will send the money to him tomorrow in the back of the radio I have purchased for him.

May God prompt Mr Micheal to reflect upon the error of his ways and to send me a full apology.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. You referred to Mr Micheal as a "young man" in your email. However, going by the picture he sent me of himself, he appears to be over fifty. I would be grateful if you could explain this discrepancy.

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FORGIVE ME AS I FORGIVE YOU TOO

Sent: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 16:12:42 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I got your mails that you have been sending to me, but what you did makes me to think if you really understand my viewpoint, in the concern that I do not have money at hand.

You see, the Pastor asked me to be keeping down all the receipts of any expenses that came up at his absence that I could take care of, as I always give to him day to day activity that goes on. When he heard that you have been finding it hard then to send the fund to the ministries' offices on their fund that remains to complete the remaining additional fund that remains, he asked me to be taking care of them.

The amounts that have been implemented during this period has been recorded and the receipts were being kept for making accounts, and as the Pastor came back he called on me and asked me how we have been moving on. I had to present the receipts and we went to the ministries for confirmations and at the security company to know what has been implemented in the processing of the files at their offices for the claim.

When he found out how I have helped him out he was very pleased, and asked me to hold on that as far as he is back that he will take care of that to see what he can do on what I have helped out for. And he said that we will sort it out as he appreciates what I did to help him out for.

When I was asked to move on to communicate with you, I was so unhappy and I could not lie to you, for you did not understand me when I told you that I do not have money and you thought that I was playing you a kind of game, or what I am no longer a youth but a man, and I know the stages that I have been in life, for I believe that truth is the only way a man can make his way safe, even in the presence of God.

You asked the Rev Pastor to ask me to apologise to you for the promise that I made you. I am really sorry for that. Even me, I felt somehow when I looked into me and found out that I could not be able to reach to your requirements, it pains me for I myself, if a man make promises to me and could not fulfil it, it gives me a bad mind, but not withstanding, I am sorry for that.

The Pastor said you want him to clarify you on where he called me a young man. When he normally looks at me, maybe the way of my activeness, that is why he always calls me a young man, not because of my age. I can call you a name that I feel when I found out honesty in you and having a free mind with you. As I observe you, maybe the way you do things makes me happy.

Let us move on and get this thing done, for my money which I have implemented was promised by the Pastor that as soon as we get through that he is going to pay me back on the way we agreed on. Let understanding come in as the Pastor is not much happy as I see him as things were as he met them at his arrival, for he wants to stay to accompany these treasures down to the UK.

I remain and to be in honest, for I myself wants to see the man that makes me feel as if I don't tell a little truth in my life again. God bless you as you understand me and taking care of the situation to his own glory, Amen.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I forgive you, my son

Sent: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 11:04:26

Dear Mr Micheal,

Thank you for your long and somewhat rambling email. Although I did find parts of it rather difficult to understand, I think I got the gist of what you were trying to say, and I accept your apology. Nobody is perfect - my dealings with you have rammed this point home on a number of occasions - and therefore I am willing to forgive you for breaking the promise you made to me.

I only hope that God is as willing as I am to forgive and forget. He doesn't like people who break their promises. As Saint Paul said in his letter to the Tahitians, "know you that if you go back on your word to your fellow man, the Lord will come down on you like a ton of mud bricks". I should pray for his forgiveness if I were you.

Anyway, I shall just have to accept that without your old clothes my inter-faith jumble sale will not be quite as successful as it would otherwise have been. Life is full of disappointments. I shall just have to live with it.

So, back to business. I have a little bit of bad news. I turned on your radio this morning and noticed that when I turned the volume control you can hear a slight crackling sound through the loudspeakers. This is most disappointing, especially when one considers that I only bought the radio a few days ago. Obviously, the last thing I want to do is to send you a faulty radio, so I am going to remove the money from inside the wireless, pack it back into its box and take it back to the shop for a replacement.

I will get back to you as soon as I return from town and have tested the replacement radio.

May Jesus give Sony's Quality Control department a metaphorical kick in the pants for their shoddy work and lack of attention to detail.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I have obtained a replacement radio

Sent: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 15:24:39

Dear Mr Micheal,

I have been back into town with the faulty radio and have replaced it for a new one. It is the same model as before - a Sony SRA-419 Scanmaster - and I have checked to see that it works perfectly. I am just about the open the back and secrete the 16,000 inside.

I am afraid I have been somewhat careless with my emails, and I have deleted the email you sent me containing the address to which I should send the radio. Could you please get back to me and let me know where I should courier it to? I will take it to the courier company as soon as I hear back from you.

On a more personal note, how are you, my dear fellow? Are you managing to eat properly, given your current lack of money? Here's a small tip that you may find useful. I picked it up from one of my parishioners who had been homeless for a while. Check around the back of any hotels or restaurants in your local area. You will probably find that some of the leftover food that they throw out is still perfectly good to eat... as long as you can get to it before the rats do, at least. I think you will find that this is a much easier way of getting hold of food than begging on the streets for it.

May Jesus feed you with his love as he fed the five thousand with a few small loaves and fishes.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Information

Sent: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 08:28:15 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I have been away to the ministries' offices when this mail came under the transaction we have. This is the information you need.

Ogbuagu Orji Ogba, 38 Rue Aniko Palako, Box 1210, Lome, Togo.

I will be going to the security company after this mail and to get the ready of what the next thing to do.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

Note: you are advised to use these courier services: FEDEX or TNT. They will move more OK.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I will make my way to the courier company first thing tomorrow morning

Sent: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:10:42

Dear Mr Micheal,

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, it came too late for me to act upon it today: the offices of the courier companies will be closed by the time I could reach them tonight. No matter. I shall travel into town first thing tomorrow morning and arrange for the radio to be couriered to you.

Tell me, how are the people at the ministries and at the security company getting on? Are they well? You have been spending an awful lot of time with them over the past few months: even more time than you have been spending at your local Western Union agent. You must be getting to know the people there very well indeed.

I will contact you tomorrow morning once I have couriered the radio set to you. Please do not worry about your current impoverishment, Mr Micheal; I feel sure that once our business has been completed to my complete satisfaction, you will find that you have been paid back in a manner appropriate to the actions you have taken.

May the Good Lord take note of every single thing you do, and repay you accordingly.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I AM TRAVELLING TO KENYA, GOD BE IN CONTROL

Sent: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 18:23:46

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

My very good friend Reverend Gilbert Murray,

I have this opportunity to inform you that I want to travel to Kenya for two porpose (sic). I have made a way to find the young man money. The barrister borrowed from his friend to complete some of the little expenses that came up that he cannot ask you of, as I instructed him the time I was going to India.

I will make sure that there is no bill left that will make me think about Togo on this premise again. The amount is about equivalent to the country money to dollar is $13,850 and I have to make that money available to the young man the money was borrowed from.

I have to see the nature of my project building that I am implementing for the church that I am building. I believe it will be at a very good height by now.

I am expected to be back on Monday evening so that by Tuesday I will give everyone's money that is with us. Have a nice weekend and may God be us in the completion of this project in Jesus name, Amen.

Yours faithfully,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Notification

Sent: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 13:17:13 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I am just coming back from the airport to see the Pastor off to Kenya. When I came back from the security company, the Pastor told me that he have mailed you to tell you of his schedule going to Kenya where he has gone to see what he can do to raise some money for the completion of this project.

I got your mail and noticed all the contents of it. As the security company have shadowed their eyes to receive the documents from the ministry, they have been advised by the Pastor to move ahead and that the documents will be issued to them very soon as required.

In all things every other thing are still under control. Awaiting to hear from you by tomorrow.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: You're going to Kenya to buy two porpoises?!?

Sent: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 23:20:52

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

You're going to Kenya to buy two porpoises?!? I don't understand, my dear fellow. What on earth do you want with a pair of marine mammals? What do you plan to do with them once you have them? And where will you keep them? In your font?

And do you really think Kenya is the best place to go to obtain them? I would have thought somewhere like Madagascar would have been a much better choice of destination: it has a much longer coastline than Kenya.

I have to say, I am very confused by all your comings and goings.

May the Good Lord make all things clear.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I am just about to leave for town

Sent: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 09:48:25

Dear Mr Micheal,

I thought I would send you a quick email before I head off into town with your radio set.

You told me in your last email that "the security company have shadowed their eyes to receive the documents from the ministry". Why have they done this? Surely this means that they will not be able to see properly? Or was the sun particularly bright yesterday? I don't understand what you meant. Please explain.

I also received an email from Reverend Oshimolowo yesterday. He told me that he was going to Kenya to purchase two porpoises. I must say, I had no idea that he had an interest in things aquatic. Do you know if his interest extends to all cetacean mammals, or does he have a particular thing about phocaena phocaena? Perhaps he is planning to breed them?

I am surprised to hear that one can purchase such animals from Kenya. When I think of the faunae of that country, I think more of beasts such as lions, tigers, elephants and wildebeest.

Where is the Reverend planning to keep these marine mammals? Does he have a suitable salt water pool ready for them? I did meet a fellow called Nutkins some years back who kept a sea lion in his bath, but I never thought that was a particularly satisfactory arrangement.

May Jesus ensure that the Reverend finds two magnificent specimens during his visit to Kenya, and watch over them during the long flight back to Togo.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: JAMES

Sent: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 02:32:52 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I got your mail on which you do not understand what the Pastor meant there. He said he go to to look for money that was accommodated during his absence to India.

The man the money was borrowed from wants his money back and that is one of the reasons the Pastor went to Kenya, and on the other hand to see what that is going on at the new church building he is building at Kenya.

I am late to the security company. I have an appointment with them this morning and I will get back to you as soon as I come back.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: I nearly got arrested, thanks to you!

Sent: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 13:31:47

Dear Mr Micheal,

I have just had one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. I travelled into town with your radio this morning, with the 16,000 safely hidden away in the back of it. I took the parcel straight to the local TNT courier office as you suggested, and told the gentleman behind the desk that I wanted to courier it to a colleague of mine in Togo. The courier agent told me that this would be no problem. He took the parcel from me and asked me what it contained. I told him that it contained a radio.

The courier agent then told me that before they could accept the parcel, they had to pass it through an x-ray machine to check its contents. Before I could say or do anything, he placed the parcel onto a conveyor belt behind him and passed it through a machine, similar to the baggage scanners you see at airports. As the parcel entered the machine, he told me that this was merely a precaution to prevent drug smuggling or money laundering. I stood on the other side of the counter, waiting with bated breath as the parcel passed through the machine.

As the courier agent watched the screen, a surprised look came over his face, and he whistled through his teeth.

"Well, well, well," he said, "what have we here, Reverend? There seems to be something concealed inside the radio."

My face went a deep shade of red. I simply didn't know what to say. As his sharp and piercing eyes stared deep into mine, I panicked.

"Sixteen thousand pounds," I blurted out, "I've hidden sixteen thousand pounds in the back of the radio."

As soon as I had said it, I wished I had kept my mouth shut. The courier agent immediately pushed a buzzer, and a burly man appeared through a door. The courier agent instructed the man to take me through into a back room and watch me while he contacted the police.

Well, Mr Micheal, I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I had to wait there for almost an hour until the police arrived. When they did, they took the radio apart and discovered the 16,000, which I had wrapped into a tight bundle. The policemen questioned me for over an hour on why I was attempting to send such a large amount of money to Togo.

I was absolutely amazed at what the policemen told me, Mr Micheal: Apparently sending money overseas in this way is against the law! In fact, the police told me that this could be regarded as smuggling, and that it is an offence which can result in a heavy fine and a custodial sentence!

What on earth were you thinking of, Mr Micheal, when you asked me to send you the money in this way? You are supposed to be a barrister! Surely you must have known that this was against the law? You were asking me to commit a criminal offence!

Luckily - and no thanks to you, I might add - the police let me off with a caution and did not confiscate the money. But if it hadn't been for the fact that one of the policemen was a member of my congregation (I have shown him my unusually large organ on a number of occasions), I am convinced that they would have arrested me and pressed charges.

I can tell you now, Mr Micheal, after today's debacle, this is the last time I take advice off you regarding the transfer of money between two countries. You nearly got me arrested! It simply does not do for a man of the church to be involved with the police in such a way: if the Bishop found out, I could be excommunicated!

I am extremely angry with you, Mr Micheal. You have been as much use in this business as a chocolate chancel. I expect an apology.

Now then, the way I see it, there is now only one way for me to get this money to you: by handing it over in person to one of Reverend Oshimolowo's contacts in the UK. Surely there must be a way in which we can arrange this? Reverend Oshimolowo told me that he was the owner of the Kingsway International Christian Church (KICC) Ministry in London, so he must have at least one trusted contact in London to whom I can give the money.

See what you can do to make arrangements for a face to face meeting between myself and one of the Reverend's henchmen in London. I have just about had enough of this whole business. Either you arrange for a meeting sometime next week, or you can forget about this whole affair.

May God forgive you for inciting me to commit a criminal offence without my knowledge.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. Regarding the last email you sent me, I still do not understand where Reverend Oshimolowo's porpoises come into this. Please explain.

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: SORRY AND LET'S GO ON WITH THIS

Sent: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 17:54:53

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I got your mail when I came back from the security company and found out that you did not succeed to send the money at the TNT courier services. It gives me a shock that you did not do what I asked you to do.

I am so sorry for what happened to you at the courier service offices, but you could have got cardboard papers to wrap that money before putting it in the back of the radio. It could have not been detected by anybody at all, but you have tried your best to do the will as you can.

For the embarrassing you got at the courier service offices trying to do the send of the item and the fear you have got might not let you to use this system, I told you now to see if it will not work out.

I am so sorry that this happened to you, but you have to take heart and do not fear, for something good never comes easily like that. Forgive me if I did not let you off the system I have just told you.

Never mind. There is a way you have to use. It went from my memory for such a long time. Please, to avoid any other inconvenience to you, I want you to go to any bank. Not yours, since they cannot do this as they have been delaying our programmes for a long time now. Do not mind. It have come to my notice. Go to any other bank and ask them to issue you a travellers' cheque or instant draft payment on the information you have and send it to me through DHL or FEDEX courier services by tomorrow morning so that by Tuesday it will get to us here and any bank here could make the payment instantly.

I am so sorry for what happened my dear fellow. May God be with us in understanding and to the completion of this transaction, as the Pastor has gone to raise his own part to complete this transaction.

I am tackling with the ministries and as well the security company with all the strength that I have to convenience them to hold on towards this premise, as now the Pastor is now near that gives me more hope to move ahead and strong.

I will be waiting to hear from you tomorrow as you follow the instructions that I gave you. All this suggestion now is from the hand of the Pastor Matthew as I am being advised. I have to follow instructions from him.

God be with us in all things, in Jesus name, Amen.

Faithfully yours,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

From: Gilbert Murray

To: James Micheal

Subject: Arrange a meeting with one of Oshimolowo's cronies in London

Sent: Sat, 20 Nov 2004 08:10:25

Mr Micheal,

I repeat. I have had enough of all this messing around with banks and money transfers.

Reverend Oshimolowo runs a church in London. If you want this 16,000 from me, get together with him and arrange a meeting between me and one of his cronies in London so that I can hand over the money in person. There must be at least one member of his London church that he trusts.

I will be busy with my inter-faith jumble sale today and with my normal Sunday services tomorrow. That gives you all weekend to arrange something.

Get back to me by Monday. This has gone on far too long and we need to sort things out once and for all.

May Jesus aid you in arranging a meeting for me in London.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: James Micheal

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: WAIT I WILL GET BACK TO YOU

Sent: Sat, 20 Nov 2004 09:16:14 -0800 (PST)

ATTENTION REVEREND GILBERT MURRAY.

Dear sir,

I have sent a mail to the Pastor and am waiting to hear from him, then I will give you the contact of whom to meet in London.

Wait for a while I will get back to you.

Yours faithfully,

JAMES CHAMBERS,

Barrister James Micheal

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Wait

Sent: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 11:19:32

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME,

Please my dear fellow, I am arranging with someone to meet in London.

Thanks,

Rev Pastor Matthew

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo; Cc: James Micheal

Subject: I look forward to receiving details of who I am to meet

Sent: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 12:05:25

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email. I look forward to receiving details of which one of your henchmen I will be meeting in London. I am keen to get this transaction completed as soon as possible - after all, it has now entered its thirteenth week - so please do your best to arrange something as soon as you can.

You will be pleased to hear that my inter-faith jumble sale went splendidly well on Saturday, despite the unfortunate absence of the clothes that had been promised me by Mr Micheal. I have to say that some people were extremely disappointed, as I had told them beforehand that one of the tables would have an "African lawyer" theme, and would be stocked exclusively with second-hand clothes that had been donated by one of the finest barristers in West Africa.

One of my parishioners, Vincent Joe, was especially disappointed: he enjoys dressing up and pretending to be a lawyer, and was waiting outside the doors of the church hall a full hour before the jumble sale opened, hoping to pick up some of Mr Micheal's old moth-eaten wigs and gowns at a bargain price. I let him down as gently as I could, but he was extremely upset at the news.

The weather was quite fine on Saturday, if rather cold, so we accompanied the jumble sale with a barbeque in the churchyard to keep people warm. The food went down a treat, so much so in fact that the roast pig that we had turning on the spit was all gone within an hour. Luckily, I remembered the corpse of the ritually-slaughtered goat that I still had in the freezer. Once we had flayed the skin off it and removed the head and cloven hooves, it was impossible to tell what it was, and we managed to pass it off as lamb. It is a good job Mr Micheal persuaded me not to send him the money inside its eviscerated cadaver the other week: if I had done so, people would have gone hungry this weekend.

Anyway, do get back to me as soon as you can with details of who I am to meet in London.

May the Good Lord bless the ground on which you walk and the chairs on which you sit.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo; Cc: James Micheal

Subject: What is the reason for this delay?

Sent: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 07:12:09

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

What is the reason for this delay, my dear fellow? As I told you yesterday, I am anxious to complete this transaction as soon as possible: my unusually large organ is now in dire need of attention and I am relying on your $25 million to pay some men to come and give it the attention it deserves.

You must keep me informed of what is going on. When am I to travel to London with the 16,000? Who am I to meet?

Jesus would not approve of this delay, so kindly respond immediately and let me know the current situation.

May God put a spring in your step and lead in your pencil.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. Did you manage to find a pair of nice porpoises in Kenya?

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Try to do this for the transaction to be completed fast

Sent: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 08:34:26

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

My dear brother Gilbert,

Sorry for the delay in responding to you. I have been finding it very hard to find the person at my church that can give the equivalent fund to the lawyer to tender to the ministries over here.

All that I have contacted have not much fund in equivalent to pay them here, so my dear brother I am suggesting that if you can travel to Holland to meet a church member at my parish there to hand the fund to him, for he is the one that have a big business venture over here to give them the equivalent fund to tender to the ministries.

I know it will be very hard for you to do this, but you can just travel by train and move to Holland and hand the fund to them so that we can complete this transaction at last. If you have done this by Friday, we will be hoping to come down to the UK accompanying the treasures, as I have been informed by the authority of the security company that as soon as we tender the documents to them it will take only two days for them to do all the necessary things that are required.

So please my dear brother, it will be a very good pleasure if we have to do this and take these treasures out from this place, for I am even getting exhausted with all that is happening. Let me know what you decide so that I can give you the contact in Holland whom you are to meet and where you are to go, for if I have to let my church to know this, the authority of my church will by all means retrieve the fund back to the church treasury, for they know that I am still having some other projects at hand and I am only doing this for humanitarian purposes and as been directed by the Holy Spirit.

Thanks and God bless us as we go into agreement.

I remain to hear from you. At least you will go by tomorrow and will come back by tomorrow as well.

Faithfully yours,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: It would be easier for me to hand over the money to someone in London

Sent: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 10:04:25

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email, my dear fellow. It gladdens my heart to see that you are still doing your best to bring this astonishingly lengthy transaction to a successful conclusion. I can well appreciate that you are becoming exhausted: you must be a very busy man, what with combining your vocation in the church with your interest in marine mammals. I trust that you managed to transport your porpoises back to Togo without any mishaps.

I am surprised to hear that you are having difficulties coming up with a member of your church in London to whom I could entrust my 16,000. Surely you can nominate any member of your church? I am assuming that they are all trustworthy people. I do not quite understand the problem. After all, they do not need any funds themselves; I will meet up with them and give them the 16,000. They will then transfer this to Mr Micheal. They don't need any money of their own. Surely you can find someone for me to meet in London? Perhaps if you gave me the address of your church in London, I could pop in, say hello, and give the money to whoever is looking after the place in your absence?

Travelling to Holland is not as easy as you seem to think, my dear chap. I cannot "just travel by train and move to Holland" as you suggested in your email. Holland is separated from England by a stretch of sea called the English Channel - as you should know, having a church in London as you do - so to travel to Holland I will have to take a boat or an aeroplane. I suppose I could do this if there was no alternative, but it would be far easier for me to meet up with someone in London.

Come on, my dear fellow, let us do this the easy way. Send me the name of a member of your London church (the Kingsway International Christian Church Ministry, in case you had forgotten) who you trust, and arrange a meeting between us. The sooner you do this, the sooner Mr Micheal will be in possession of the 16,000 he needs to complete this transaction.

May Jesus Christ, the fisher of souls, ensure that you never run short of fish with which to feed your porpoises.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. I am looking forward immensely to meeting you and Mr Micheal when you travel to the UK with the consignment. I cannot wait to show you my unusually large organ. I assure you that you will be amazed when you see just how large it really is.

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: MAKE UP YOUR MIND MY DEAR FRIEND AND BROTHER

Sent: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 11:22:53

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME,

My dear beloved brother, I thank you for the mail you sent to me in concerning on how the remaining balance of the ministries' fund is to be completed. You see my lovely brother, I know what exactly what I am telling you on concerning the fund I wanted to give away to you for the humanitarian purposes I want to implement to the help as I have been doing, and I do not do it at the notice of my church authority. You can ask of my firm in all over the United Kingdom.

I just want you to travel to Holland and give the fund to someone who can give the equivalent here immediately and for us to complete this transaction as soon as possible. Even you have tried to send the fund down here and was not successful in doing that, and I do not want any more delay on this. I will like you to move by tomorrow to Holland and meet my church members that I will send to you and hand over the fund to them so that I will collect the equivalent here in Lome, Togo.

See, let me tell you what you don't know. You are aware that I am having a church in Kenya that I am putting on and the projects need money to complete that. If I have to put more money into my new church, that means it have to be after when we get these treasures out from the security company.

Try and make up your mind to ease myself here, for I have to stay and accompany the treasures by myself down to the UK. Prepare please, my dear good fellow, to move down to Holland and let us see what we can do before the week runs out, for by the weekend if nothing is done that means I will be coming back to London to prepare my end of the year programme and some other private life things, and if I have to leave this till next year that means my church is going to be taking care of this transaction by themselves if you have to meet me in London, for they will like to know what that keeps us close as Mr James will be there too with me to take some charges to complete this transaction.

Please try to help me and help yourself too so that we can plan on how to come down to the UK with these treasures and make the things that life needs, for there is no longer time left for us.

May the Almighty Father and Holy God give you strength to move down to Holland and come back to the UK in good care, Amen.

I remain,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: Holland it is then

Sent: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 11:41:27

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email. From what you say, it sounds as if there is nobody in your London church who you trust enough to collect the 16,000 from me and forward it on to Mr Micheal. What a sad state of affairs that is. No matter. If travelling to Holland is the only way in which I can get this money to you, then so be it: Holland it is then.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to travel to Holland tomorrow; it promises to be a very busy day for me. I have four weddings and a funeral to preside over. I will be able to travel to Holland on Thursday though. I trust this will be acceptable.

Whereabouts in Holland will I need to travel to? Please send me the email address of the church member you want me to meet over there, and I will contact them straight away to make arrangements.

May God watch over us to ensure the successful conclusion of this transaction.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: Send me the contact details of your Dutch colleague

Sent: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:21:52

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

I am surprised that you have not yet sent me the contact details of your Dutch colleague, as you said you would do. If I am to travel to Holland on Thursday, I will have to find out about train times and flight times and book myself some tickets. How do you expect me to do this when you have not even told me whereabouts in Holland this church member of yours is located?

This is no time for delays, my dear fellow. Have you been taking lessons in timewasting from Mr Micheal? Get back to me immediately with the information I need and I can start to make arrangements.

May Jesus prompt you to send me the details I require by return.

Amen

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. I trust that the Dutch chap you want me to meet speaks good English?

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: WAIT FOR THE CONTACT

Sent: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 19:05:48

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME,

My dear good fellow, I received your mail and have sent for his contact addresses which in no time he is going to send it to me.

First thing in the morning I will send it to you. After contacting him this morning I asked him to wait for my call, but by the time I got your mail, after some more prayer, it was too late to get him. Maybe they might have been in the evening house fellowship on which we normally have every Tuesday.

Have a nice night and get prepared no problem, and may God guide us in everything, Amen.

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Christ has Choose HIS Beloveth!!!!! Urgent response please

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 12:50:10

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

Dear Rev Gilbert Murray,

Praise be to HIM. I at last received a message from one of my church's devoted members that I can appoint for the 16,000. Hallelujah. Christ is alive and always marvellous.

I informed him bravely about your kind attitude, but I did not inform him of the transaction between us. I now assure you that you can trust that he's the righteous godly person that will collect the 16,000 from you and instruct his family here in Lome, Togo to give the equivalent of the 16,000 in the local Togo currency.

He will call you and book an appointment with you either today or tomorrow, depending on your programme, but I would like you to meet-up with the programme today so that we can receive the 16,000 tomorrow and tender it to the Barrister Micheal to pay it to the ministry and obtain the documents which will activate the immediate delivery of the consignment (fund) to you in the UK, while I join you for the completion of our purposes with Barrister Micheal.

Kindly forward to me without delay the number through which the beloveth fellow can contact you today to book an appointment with you tomorrow.

May God be with us in the godly conclusion of this transaction.

Rev Pastor Mathew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: My telephone number

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 13:48:25

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email. I am delighted to see that you have found someone capable of helping us to bring this transaction to a satisfactory conclusion. Tell me, what is the fellow's name?

My telephone number is 01927 58367. Please pass this on to the chap in Holland and ask him to contact me as soon as he can so that we can make arrangements.

I must warn you that I am experiencing a few problems with my telephone service at the moment: we have had some very severe storms over the past couple of days and they have brought down some telephone lines. Living in such a remote rural area as I do, the telephone company unfortunately don't see fixing my line as a priority, so at the moment my telephone only works intermittently. This is extremely annoying, and everyone in the village is similarly affected.

This unfortunately means that your Dutch henchman may experience some difficulty getting through to me on the telephone. Please warn him of this. Fortunately, my satellite internet connection has not been affected by the storms, so it may be easier for the fellow to contact me by email in order to make arrangements. Please give him my email address so that he can do this.

I have to say, Mr Micheal, we are leaving things rather late. If the fellow does not get in touch with me by the middle of the afternoon, we may have to postpone my visit to Holland until next week.

May God ensure that you and your Dutch crony get everything you deserve.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Christ bless your journey!!!!!!!!!!!

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 14:18:10

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

Dear Rev Gilbert Murray,

The name of the Christian brother is ATKINS BRIAN. I will instruct him to contact you without delay through your number or by email.

I don't want you to postpone it to next week. Just get your proposed journey ready and Christ will bless the journey. Why? Because I want the consignment (fund) to be delivered to you in the UK by this weekend, if possible, this very Friday.

I will like you to make sure you stay by the side where your mobline will be often for network (sic). Christ be with us. With this arrangement the devil is now totally ashamed of his evil plans.

Yours in Christ,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: I was slightly confused by aspects of your email

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 14:45:48

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email. I look forward to hearing from this Atkins Brian chap... or should that be "Brian Atkins"? Regardless of this, what a fine Dutch name the man has.

I have to confess that I was slightly confused by aspects of your email. What did you mean by "make sure you stay by the side where your mobline will be often for network"? That doesn't make any sense, my dear chap. Perhaps you were so overcome by excitement at the prospect of completing this transaction that you forgot how to write properly? Please explain what you meant.

I am sure that you are correct when you say that the devil is now totally ashamed of his evil plans. I now feel that nothing can come between us and the successful conclusion of our transaction.

May Jesus assist you to use proper words in your next email and ensure that they appear in the correct order so that they actually make sense.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Please, act according to instructions. Christ will take CONTROL

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 15:41:47

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

Dear Rev Gilbert Murray,

"Make sure you stay by the side where your mobline will be often for network". It's because you said that there was a storm in your area that destructed a lot of phone lines. That's why I said so.

I tried your number but without success and the same thing may happen to him also, but I think you can get in touch with him through this number easily: 0031 630358062. It will be advisable you call him in an hour to this time and introduce yourself. Briefly that I instructed you to meet him in Holland and give 16,000 to him, after which he will instruct his family in Togo to give me the equivalent in the Togo local currency.

Please, be confidential concerning our transaction. I want everything to be well completed before I will give TESTIMONY to God for HIS approval over this transaction. Be confidential, because you know that if the church is aware of this fund, they will retrieve the whole fund to the church treasuries as they are aware that I have lots of projects at hand.

Yours in Christ,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: A small flaw in your plan

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 16:12:52

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Thank you for your email and for attempting to explain what you meant. However, I still do not know what a "mobline" is. What did you mean when you used that word? I cannot find it in any dictionary. And what do you want me to stay by the side of? This is all terribly confusing, my dear chap.

Thank you for sending me Atkins Brian's telephone number. Unfortunately, I have noticed a small flaw in your plan. As my telephone is currently out of order, how do you expect me to telephone the chap and make arrangements to meet up with him?

Please send me Mr Brian's email address so that I can make contact with him that way, or ask him to email me.

Time is running out, Reverend Oshimolowo. If I do not hear from Mr Brian very soon indeed, it will be too late for me to travel to Holland tomorrow. After all, I do not even know which town I need to travel to. The fellow could be anywhere in Holland for all I know: Amsterdam, Utrecht, Edam, Gouda, Maasdammer or even Leerdammer.

May God send Dutch-speaking angels to smooth the progress of this transaction from now on.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. You do not need to worry about confidentiality. I will be the very soul of discretion.

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Christ will assist. Amen

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 18:13:27

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

Dear Rev Gilbert Murray,

"Mobline" means mobile phone. It's just an abbreviation. Sorry for this. It's because of the situation of things I employ this slang, am I pardoned?

I called Brian right now and he said that he tried your number but without success and he informed me that he has sent you a message. Kindly inform me if things are going fine (ie if you've received a message from Brian).

I want you to make it a point to be in Holland early tomorrow so that Brian can instruct his family to release the equivalent of the 16,000 to me for the documents to be acquired and the consignment (fund) to be released to you in the UK on Friday or during the weekend. He will give you all the appointment venue, or you ask him to avoid mistake. Forget about language barrier. Brian speaks English fluently.

Yours in Christ,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: How things are? Hope well in JESUS NAME. Amen

Sent: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 19:16:27

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

Dear Rev Gilbert Murray,

I will like you to try your best to contact Brian through his number because he's a busy fellow and you've not informed me if you've received the message he sent to you, and make sure you ask him the city or venue of your appointment with him, but the city where he resides is Amsterdam, but it's better you ask him to know his situation actual.

Yours in Christ,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: I haven't heard a peep out of this "Atkins Brian" chap

Sent: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 07:22:41

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

I haven't heard a peep out of this "Atkins Brian" chap. He hasn't called me and he hasn't sent me an email. You say he told you he sent me a message. How did he send it? By carrier pigeon?

This is all most disappointing. If Atkins Brian had contacted me yesterday as you told me he would, I could have booked myself a flight to Amsterdam for today and we could have met up to finalise things. As it is, I have not heard from him so I have not been able to make any arrangements.

You say Mr Brian is a busy man. Well so am I, my dear fellow. Kindly get back to this Atkins Brian, ensure that he has my correct email address, and tell him to send me an email immediately. Does the man not appreciate the urgency of this situation? Better still, send me his email address so that I can contact him directly.

May God give me strength.

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. How is Mr Micheal? I have not heard from the dear fellow for almost a week now.

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Bear in mind that Christ wants it like this, but devil is a liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sent: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 11:33:59

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

Dear Rev Gilbert Murray,

As I told you yesterday that ATKINSON BRIAN is a busy man. He contacted me late yesternight that he did not receive a reply to his message to you and he said that he called you but without success. I also tried your number several times but it was not going through now that you cannot call him because of the damages caused by storm to the telephone lines.

I then with Christ's grace contacted one of my church members in London and I will make sure I conclude with him and forward his contact details to you so that you can get in touch with him through mail and I will forward yours to him too so that the arrangement will be made in a short period and your journey will be shortened.

I will like you to understand that this very beloveth that I want you to contact in LONDON is one of the topmost in the church, and if you discuss the transaction with him the fund will be seized by the church. In spite of this I will like you to just deliver the 16,000 to him and just chat with him in a godly way without disclosing the secret to him. That is exactly how I want the matter to be, and I also did not disclose the matter to him.

Yours in Christ,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: Am I to travel to London or to Amsterdam?

Sent: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 11:56:22

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

I am now thoroughly confused. Regardless of what he may have told you, I did not receive an email yesterday from anyone called "Atkins Brian". Nor did I receive an email from anyone called "Brian Atkins" or "Atkinson Brian".

You are now talking about someone in London. Does this mean that we are we no longer dealing with this Atkins/Atkinson Brian person, whatever his name may be? Does this mean that I will not have to travel to Holland any more to conclude this transaction?

What is the name of the person I am to arrange to meet in London? Whatever his name, I hope they are better at getting in touch that that Dutch chap was.

Now then, regarding confidentiality. I want to make sure I do things properly, so I would appreciate it if you could tell me precisely what I can and cannot mention to this new chap. I don't want to put my foot in it and ruin things by saying the wrong thing.

I look forward to hearing back from you by return.

May Jesus ensure that this new London contact is more use than "Atkins Brian" or whatever his name is.

Amen,

Best regards,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

PS. Although I appreciate your advice regarding the devil, there really was no need to remind me that he is a liar. I am a vicar, my dear chap. I do know these things.

From: George Anderson

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: MATTER AT HAND PLEASE

Sent: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 13:11:07 +0100

From: George Anderson, for your kind attention.

Top of the day to you, hope this mail reaches you in good health.

I am Mr George Anderson, a Manager at The NATWEST Bank UK. However I got your contact through the international web directory.

Recently we discovered a dormant account with a huge amount of money valued at $14,000,000.00 (fourteen million dollars only) that belongs to one of our late customers, Mr William Barnes, who died in a plane crash.

During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to MR WILLIAM BARNES from Idledale, Colorado, USA, who died along with his wife, MRS TAMSIN BARNES and daughter, MS PAULA BARNES, so the fund has been dormant in his account with this bank without any claim of the fund in our custody, either from his family or relations, before our discovery to this development.

The banking law here stipulates that if such money remains unclaimed for fifteen years, it will be forfeited to the bank treasury as an unclaimed bill. It is only a foreigner that can stand as a next of kin and it is upon this discovery that I decided to contact you to collaborate with you to pull out this dormant fund in order to avert this negative development. On behalf of my trusted colleagues, we now seek your permission to have you stand in as next of kin to our late customer so that the fund will be released and paid into your account as the beneficiary's next of kin now that the bank is still expecting a next of kin or relative of the deceased, MR WILLIAM BARNES.

We could have done this deal alone, but because of our position in this country as civil servants, we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and that would eventually raise an eyebrow on our side during the time of transfer, since we still work in this bank. This is the actual reason why we required a second party or fellow who will assist us to forward claims as the next of kin and also provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new bank account immediately to receive this fund. Even an empty account can also serve for this purpose.

However, on the smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 25% as gratification for your assistance to us, while 5% will be set aside to take care of expenses on both sides that may arise during the time of transfer and also for telephone bills, and the remaining 70% will be for me and my colleague. What I want from you is for you to act as the deceased's next of kin. I have in my possession all the necessary documents to successfully accomplish the operation. Bear in mind that this proposal is 100% risk free.

Further information will be given to you as soon as I receive your positive response. I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible stating your wish.

Best regards,

Mr George Anderson,

Natwest Bank

The above email is completely unconnected to the current scambust. Let's see if we can throw the cat amongst the pigeons...

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Matthew Oshimolowo

Subject: Fwd: MATTER AT HAND PLEASE

Sent: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 12:43:15

Dear Reverend Oshimolowo,

Good news, my dear fellow! I have heard from your contact in London. I received this email from Mr Anderson just ten minutes ago.

He did not mention you by name, and he appears to be wittering on about someone who has died in a plane crash, but I assume this is the man you have asked to contact me.

I must say, this is most impressive: this fellow seems to have a much better grasp of how urgent this situation is than that "Atkins Brian" chap.

I shall respond to him immediately and arrange to meet him and hand over the 16,000.

May God be praised for Mr Anderson's speed in contacting me!

Amen,

Reverend Gilbert Murray

From: Matthew Oshimolowo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Am I to travel to London or to Amsterdam?

Sent: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 13:00:33

GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME.

Dear Rev Gilbert Murray,

The name of the Christian brother in LONDON is MR STEVEN COLE and you can contact him through his mail address (acvedsag@yahoo.com). The phone number is +44 7946041162. I have forwarded your email address to him and he promises to get in touch with you as quick as possible when he closes from office.

I want you to introduce yourself as Rev Gilbert Murray if possible. Give him the name of your church and inform him that you want the 16,000 to be given to me in Togo in equivalent to Togo local currency by your family in Togo as said by my good friend Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo.

I will not like you to admit any further conversation with him, by the special grace of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, the devil will be ashamed.

Yours in Christ,

Rev Pastor Matthew Oshimolowo

Click here to view the concluding part of this scambust.